The Dark Night of the Soul Unwrapped

Carmen’s dark night began after a significant spiritual shift. After a period of ecstasy, grief, and the dissolution of her sense of self, there was “a big readjustment process” during which she had “the embodied experience” of all the psychological content that hadn’t been felt at the time. She spent months journalling, “grappling with reality and what is,” seeing her defences and delusions, and feeling rage, grief and primal fear. Now, “nothing looks the way it used to look.”Amongst many other things, we talk about riding the storms on a flimsy raft; letting our hearts break all the way; being shredded; and dying many times over. We touch on having the insides of our psyches rearranged; having to give up everything we knew in order to get through the gates; being a hermit; and opening up a gap where the light can come in. We discuss grieving the loss of our innocence, and how innocence, ignorance and naivete shield us; working through the psychological knots that previously contorted us; and becoming comfortable with awkwardness. We also mention having “an increased capacity to hold paradoxical emotions”; seeing god but also your demons; and the “striking aliveness that comes from living unarmoured.”Carmen Lau is a San Francisco–based writer exploring meditation, consciousness, and the inner life. She has practiced meditation for a decade, including periods of intensive practice and profound shifts in experience. Her writing on advanced meditation has recently appeared in Asterisk Magazine. Her article on the dark night of the soul is on Substack.Fiona Robertson is the author of The Dark Night of the Soul: A Journey from Absence to Presence, and Eve Was a Realist: Poems for the Untamed Heart. She works one to one with people who are going through a dark night or spiritual emergency, accompanying them in this challenging terrain as they rediscover and deepen into their real selves. She also offers a monthly dark night gathering group, and occasional workshops for therapists and counsellors.Connect with FionaMentionsCarmen mentions The Passion According to G.H. by Clarice Lispector.She also mentions the Buddhist conception of the six realms of Samsara, which includes the realm of hungry ghosts, which was not mentioned in the episode. More details can be found here.Thank you for listening. If you’ve enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and share – your support is much appreciated!You’re welcome to contact The Dark Night of the Soul Unwrapped via email: [email protected] by James Waring / Design by Adam McKillop / Artwork by Stefan Armoneit

Lizzie’s dark night began with a panic attack on a plane. She became claustrophobic, and “went into terror about the terror.” She had no idea what was happening, and fought it strongly. Gradually, she came to understand that she’d spent a lifetime suppressing and trying to cover up who she was, having been severely bullied as a child. She slowly began to move towards and be with her experience, and started to touch into a beautiful and sacred space.Amongst many other things, we talk about how being in a safe and profoundly loving partnership opened something within her; the visceral power of the sensations and energies that emerge in the dark night; and becoming dedicated to the unravelling. We touch on fawning, pleasing and pretending to be okay; meeting the young, terrified part of ourselves with tenderness; and the cruelty of spiritual teachings. We discuss how the sense of authority shifts from outside to inside; the treasures that comes from being in this place; and being stuck in “shame pits.” We also mention fighting, kicking and screaming, and being at war with ourselves; doing ancestral work; being fully alive even amidst grief; and being “tenderised” by the dark night.Lizzie Bryher is a somatic trauma informed practitioner. Her work involves tuning into the many layers of a person’s experience, sensing the connections between body, mind, personal history, ancestral influences, and what is unfolding in the present. She moves between what is spoken and unspoken, what is felt and suppressed, earlier experiences and present-day patterns, as well as what she notices in the relational space between herself and the person she is working with. As underlying patterns become clearer, Lizzie draws on the modalities best suited to what is emerging, supporting the process of feeling, integrating and releasing what has been held. Her approach is holistic, recognising that body, mind and spirit all hold important information. By working across these layers, Lizzie helps bring awareness to not only what is showing up in the present, but also the deeper patterns that may be keeping it in place. Her work is shaped by training in EFT, Havening, IEMT and NARM, and rooted in the relational approach of Thomas Hübl’s teachings. She is also the host of the Alchemical Meanderings podcast. Connect with LizzieFiona Robertson is the author of The Dark Night of the Soul: A Journey from Absence to Presence, and Eve Was a Realist: Poems for the Untamed Heart. She works one to one with people who are going through a dark night or spiritual emergency, accompanying them in this challenging terrain as they rediscover and deepen into their real selves. She also offers a monthly dark night gathering group, and occasional workshops for therapists and counsellors.Connect with FionaThank you for listening. If you’ve enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and share - your support is much appreciated!You’re welcome to contact The Dark Night of the Soul Unwrapped via email: [email protected] by James Waring / Design by Adam McKillop / Artwork by Stefan Armoneit

Anneke has experienced several dark nights, the first after an accident when she was sixteen. She has worked in mental health for many years, including in hospital settings and as a community psychiatric nurse, and has accompanied people on their descents as well as navigating her own.Amongst many other things, we talk about how the dark night pushes us into “a deeper something,” including previously unrecognised trauma; crumbling, and not having anything to hold onto; and how “some things must die before something else can be rebirthed.” We discuss the difference between depression and the dark night; the “innate aliveness” that comes “from deep inside, like a seed”; and connecting to the innate intelligence that is inherent in nature. We touch on discovering intimacy with ourselves and life during the dark night; clinging to our identities; and meeting the place where “ deep love, deep grief, and deep healing live.” We also mention the stigma of labels like psychosis and the centrality of curiosity, openness, innocence and vulnerability; the importance of myths, poems, and songs, and the dark nights of Persephone and Inanna; being stripped of our “garments” and becoming an anam cara; and finding oaks on which to lean.Anneke Sips is the author of The Wisdom of Psychosis, and an integrative trauma therapist. She pioneered the integration of yoga into psychiatric settings, and is a founding member of the Global Consortium of Yoga Therapy. Her work bridges psychiatry and embodied healing — exploring the deeper layers of human consciousness through an integrative and relational lens. Known for her grounded presence and clarity, Anneke supports individuals, families, and professionals worldwide in learning to meet altered states and lived experience with steadiness, dignity, and discernment.Connect with AnnekeFiona Robertson is the author of The Dark Night of the Soul: A Journey from Absence to Presence, and Eve Was a Realist: Poems for the Untamed Heart. She works one to one with people who are going through a dark night or spiritual emergency, accompanying them in this challenging terrain as they rediscover and deepen into their real selves. She also offers a monthly dark night gathering group, and occasional workshops for therapists and counsellors.Connect with FionaMentionsWe mention the myths of Persephone and Inanna.Fiona quotes from Anneke’s dark night of the soul guide.Thank you for listening. If you’ve enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and share - your support is much appreciated!You’re welcome to contact The Dark Night of the Soul Unwrapped via email: [email protected] by James Waring / Design by Adam McKillop / Artwork by Stefan Armoneit

Monica’s dark night journey has included periods of “dropping into deep, dark, contemplative spaces” and moments of expanded perception that, on one occasion, “could have been described as a psychotic episode.” She has experienced “a widening of spiritual perception,” and now understands the dark night as initiation; a landing in the body; and a movement of “compassionate discovery and reconnection to the whole.” Amongst many other things, we talk about neuroses coming to the surface; the death of “the old concept of who you are”; and opening our own Pandora’s box. We touch on turning the lens inwards; being with people who can “hold the fullness” of all that we are in any given moment; and “creating enough space to lay what’s there on the table.” We discuss the power of story, metaphor and image; how trying to push or “hack” the dark night can cause damage; and how the dark night, for some of us, is a natural part of the seasons of life, so can’t be sped up or slowed down. We also mention spirit – whatever that means for each of us; how simple rituals create pauses or spaces; and how we might co-create rituals for the dark night. Monica Douglas is an ordained Interfaith Minister and Relationship Coach with over 25 years of experience in professional and personal development. Certified in a range of coaching and wellbeing modalities, she supports heart-centred people to thrive in their relationships – at home, at work and within themselves. Her work is rooted in five core values: joy, love, alignment, collaboration and impact.Monica is currently developing Ten Good Men, a project dedicated to supporting responsible, caring fathers as they navigate significant relationship crossroads, including separation, divorce and rebuilding healthy, loving relationships with their children, partners and other loved ones. The project creates space for men to navigate change consciously, strengthen their relationships and thrive as fathers, partners and individuals. Connect with MonicaFiona Robertson is the author of The Dark Night of the Soul: A Journey from Absence to Presence, and Eve Was a Realist: Poems for the Untamed Heart. She works one to one with people who are going through a dark night or spiritual emergency, accompanying them in this challenging terrain as they rediscover and deepen into their real selves. She also offers a monthly dark night gathering group, and occasional workshops for therapists and counsellors.Connect with FionaMentionsMonica mentions her mentor, the author and teacher Sobonfu Somé. She also mentions The Reach Approach. If you’ve enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and share.You’re welcome to contact The Dark Night of the Soul Unwrapped via email: [email protected] by James Waring / Design by Adam McKillop / Artwork by Stefan Armoneit

In 2024, Vincent was busy restructuring his restaurant business when he was hit by a car. He sustained a serious brain injury and was given a ten per cent chance of survival. He spent weeks in a coma, and then months in rehab, learning how to walk, talk, and feed himself again. Two years on, he is back at work, and is now sharing what he has learnt from his experiences. Amongst many other things, Vincent and I talk about how his priorities shifted after the accident and how spending time with people he loves is now “non-negotiable”; the many losses he’d sustained beforehand; and having people hold him accountable. We touch on our love of life, including the adversities and obstacles; simplicity and overcomplication; growing outside your comfort zone; and realising that “nobody is setting the rules but yourself.” We discuss improving our relationship with loss; taking the next steps, however small they may be; facing rather than avoiding; and asking, “Why not me?” We also mention doing, and making a commitment to yourself; body and mind being one; the co-existence of beauty and heartbreak; and the idea of putting things in a jar for the future you. Vincent Van den Broeck is a restauranteur, the author of Everything Feels Impossible Until It's Done: How the life you build becomes the life that saves you; and the founder of The Until It’s Done Club. He combines real-life experience with a simple, practical system designed to help people take control of their habits, decisions, and direction — and build a life they don’t need to escape from. He lives in Brussels, Belgium. Connect with VincentFiona Robertson is the author of The Dark Night of the Soul: A Journey from Absence to Presence, and Eve Was a Realist: Poems for the Untamed Heart. She works one to one with people who are going through a dark night or spiritual emergency, accompanying them in this challenging terrain as they rediscover and deepen into their real selves. She also offers a monthly dark night gathering group, and occasional workshops for therapists and counsellors.Connect with FionaIf you’ve enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and share.You’re welcome to contact The Dark Night of the Soul Unwrapped via email: [email protected] by James Waring / Design by Adam McKillop / Artwork by Stefan Armoneit