The ENM DNM

Adam and Leonie are back with another Dear ENM DNM, and this one is a big one.A listener wrote in. They're a queer guy dating two people, one of whom is immunocompromised. There's a long standing agreement about testing and barriers, and then along comes a new partner who says their GP reckons they don't need to test that often, and that our listener is just being overly anxious. Suddenly it isn't about sexual health anymore. It's about trust, autonomy, control, and whether your needs are allowed to be needs.We get into risk profiles and why nobody's is wrong, the difference between a boundary and a rule, why "your fear is illogical" is a rubbish thing to say to someone, GPs who don't understand non-monogamy, and the thing hinges forget most: that they are also a person in the polycule with wants of their own.There's also a work health and safety risk matrix, an extended metaphor about onion intolerance, another one about swimming pools, and a truly unreasonable number of times Leonie says the word tits. We wander. That's the show.Got something to add, or a situation of your own you'd like us to take on? Email us at [email protected] the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making gorgeous chaos?Support the podcast hereYour support helps us make the podcast and helps fund free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise access it.Come say hi: socialsWant to book a counselling session with Adam? HalaxyWe’re also keen to hear from collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners. [email protected] Please note: this podcast is for conversation and reflection, not therapy, medical advice or crisis support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Adam and Leonie are back on their phones, scrolling through non-monogamy Reels and giving their honest (and sometimes very strong) opinions on what they find. It kicks off a proper chat about the difference between rules, agreements, boundaries, standards and expectations, and why mixing these words up causes so much confusion in ENM relationships. They also get into consent, the messy bits of communication, and what it actually means to choose a partner rather than need one.It's a chat that wanders (as always), but there's plenty of gold in there once you dig for it.Got a topic, theme or dilemma you want Adam and Leonie to get into? Send it through to [email protected] the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making gorgeous chaos?Support the podcast hereYour support helps us make the podcast and helps fund free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise access it.Come say hi: socialsWant to book a counselling session with Adam? HalaxyWe’re also keen to hear from collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners. [email protected] Please note: this podcast is for conversation and reflection, not therapy, medical advice or crisis support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Adam and Leonie kick off by talking about Wet on Wellington, the gay sauna in Melbourne they've visited as a space to hang out, relax and chat with mates. But this episode quickly moves beyond one venue to a bigger conversation: what do event organisers actually owe the people who pay to come? They dig into consent, vetting, safeguarding and scaling, the gaps they've noticed in how sex-on-premises events are run, and why putting safety first isn't optional. If you're an organiser and you think they're chatting shit, they'd actually love to hear from you. Come tell them what it's really like, or help figure this out together. Drop a line at [email protected] the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making gorgeous chaos?Support the podcast hereYour support helps us make the podcast and helps fund free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise access it.Come say hi: socialsWant to book a counselling session with Adam? HalaxyWe’re also keen to hear from collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners. [email protected] Please note: this podcast is for conversation and reflection, not therapy, medical advice or crisis support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this Kink Corner episode, Adam and Leonie sit down with Barefoot Juliette to talk all things Shibari, the Japanese rope art that's part performance, part intimacy practice, part mindfulness.Juliette walks us through her own origin story: from a lockdown squirting workshop to discovering rope, what it feels like to tie (versus being tied), and why Shibari became such a deep practice for her. We dig into the real risks, physical and emotional, what consent actually looks like in rope, how power sits in these dynamics (spoiler: not where you'd think), and why rope is for everybody, no matter your body, ability or experience.She's honest about the rope cowboys, the consent violations that happen, and what it takes to be a safe rigger or an empowered model. And she shares what draws people to come work with her: healing from trauma, building confidence, chasing that incredible intimacy, or just wanting to explore something new.If you've been curious about Shibari, wondered how to start safely, or just want to understand this practice through someone who genuinely loves it, this one's for you.Find Barefoot Juliette:Website: barefootjuliette.comInstagram: @barefoot_julietteShe offers one-on-one ties, couple sessions, private tuition, performances and classes at Peer Rope Melbourne on Tuesday nights.Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making gorgeous chaos?Support the podcast hereYour support helps us make the podcast and helps fund free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise access it.Come say hi: socialsWant to book a counselling session with Adam? HalaxyWe’re also keen to hear from collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners. [email protected] Please note: this podcast is for conversation and reflection, not therapy, medical advice or crisis support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Adam and Leonie are joined by Ari to attempt something brave, foolish and probably impossible: making sense of some of the terms people use in ENM and non-monogamy. From ENM, CNM and NM to relationship anarchy, monogamish, hierarchy and whatever relationship libertarianism is meant to be, they unpack the words, the assumptions behind them, and why definitions are rarely as simple as they sound.The conversation moves between actual glossary-style explanations and the messier reality of how these labels show up in dating, relationships, community and identity. They talk about ethics, consent, autonomy, ownership, “doing the work”, and why some terms can feel useful while others can feel confusing, loaded or a bit wanky.It’s a funny, honest and reflective episode about language, labels, strong opinions, and trying to describe the very human mess of non-monogamy without pretending anyone has the perfect definition.Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making gorgeous chaos?Support the podcast hereYour support helps us make the podcast and helps fund free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise access it.Come say hi: socialsWant to book a counselling session with Adam? HalaxyWe’re also keen to hear from collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners. [email protected] Please note: this podcast is for conversation and reflection, not therapy, medical advice or crisis support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.