The Dad & Daughter Connection

Building a strong, lasting bond with your daughter doesn't come from grand gestures or perfectly orchestrated events. As revealed in this episode of the Dad and Daughter Connection podcast featuring bestselling author Brad Meltzer, the heart of connection lies in the small, seemingly ordinary moments that often become our most precious memories. The Beauty of Imperfect Parenting Brad Meltzer, renowned for his Ordinary People Change the World book series, shares intimate stories about his journey as a father to one daughter and two sons. Despite being a master storyteller, Brad admits that the best moments with his daughter were never the ones he planned—the magic always seemed to happen in the chaos of everyday life. A messy ice cream cone, an unplanned hug, the nerves and joy of dancing at her bat mitzvah, or even being called out for embarrassing "dad moves"—these are the moments that truly matter. Brad emphasizes that as our children grow, especially daughters, our roles as fathers shift from advisor to cheerleader. He candidly discusses the temptation to mold our kids in our own image, only to realize that true guidance lies in creating space for them to find their own way. His evolving approach as a parent is a powerful reminder that our daughters' best chance to thrive comes when they feel seen, accepted, and empowered to be themselves. Lessons From Real-Life Heroes As an author, Brad has dedicated his career to telling the stories of real-life heroes—people who changed the world not because they were famous, but because they helped others. He especially values sharing these stories with his children, intentionally choosing heroes like Amelia Earhart and the Wright brothers, whose journeys were filled with failures, resilience, and the courage to dream big. Brad's books illustrate for fathers and daughters alike that it's okay to crash and rebuild, just like the Wright brothers did. The real lesson isn't about never failing—it's about learning, persevering, and supporting one another through every struggle. By reading stories of compassion, kindness, and heroism together, dads can open up essential conversations about what it truly means to make a difference. Be Present, Be Yourself Ultimately, Brad's greatest wish is that his children remember not the details of every story, but the feeling of safety and love that came from simply being together. You don't need to be perfect—you just need to show up, listen, and celebrate your daughter for exactly who she is. If you're a dad looking for inspiration and practical wisdom to strengthen your bond with your daughter, listen to this heartfelt episode of Dad and Daughter Connection. You'll finish feeling reminded: the ordinary moments can truly become extraordinary. If you enjoyed this episode we ask you to take a moment to take our Dad and Daughter Connection Survey to let us know more about you as a dad. You can also sign up to get our newsletter to stay connected to our community and we will send items of interest to you to help you to be the dad that you want to be. Feel free to follow me on the following social media platforms: Facebook, Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, X. TRANSCRIPT Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:02]: Welcome to The Dad and Daughter Connection, the podcast for dads who want to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:12]: If you're looking to build a stronger bond with your daughter and help her grow into a confident, independent woman, you're in the right place. I'm Dr. Christopher Lewis, and The Dad and Daughter Connection is the podcast where we dive into real stories, expert advice, and practical tips to help you navigate the incredible journey of fatherhood. In every episode, we'll bring you conversations that inspire, challenge, and equip you to show up as the dad your daughter needs. So let's get started. Because being a great dad isn't just about being there. It's about truly connecting. Welcome back to the Dad and Daughter Connection, where every week we have a great opportunity to be able to come together and talk about Things that are important in regards to those relationships that we want to build with your daughters. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:04]: I so much appreciate that you come back every week because every week you can do something just a little bit more to be able to build strong bonds with your daughter, to help the relationship, help that, help her to be able to grow into the woman that she's becoming, and help you to become an even better father. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:24]: And my hope every week is that you can take something, something small, something big to be able to help you to be that father that you want to be. And today we've got another great guest. Today we're joined by Brad Meltzer. Brad is a bestselling author, historian, and storyteller whose work has helped millions of kids discover the people and stories that shaped our world and have shaped our world. Brad is the author of Ordinary People Change the World series of books, including the newest book, We Are the Wright Brothers. His books explore courage, curiosity, perseverance, and what it means to be a hero. Today, we're talking about the power of reading and our daughters, why failure can be an important part of growing up, and how fathers can use stories to help their children discover what kind of person we want to become. Brad, thanks so much for being here today. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:19]: Oh, thank you for Brad Meltzer [00:02:20]: having me. I appreciate it. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:21]: I'm really excited to have you here. We always start our interviews with an opportunity to be able to get to know you a little bit more as a dad yourself. And I know you're a father of 3. You've got 1 daughter, you've got 2 sons, and all of us as dads want to build those meaningful moments. We want to have those moments that they'll remember, that we'll remember, that will help us to be able to bond in a different way. Talk to me about the most meaningful moment that you have been able to share with your daughter and what made it so special. Brad Meltzer [00:02:50]: You know, I think as a dad and someone who writes stories, I know the perfect story. I want the perfect moment with my daughter. I can envision it. I can plan it. I can plot it. My daughter, who's now 21 years old, I will tell you that the best moments with her are the ones that I couldn't possibly plan. Everything I planned for always had a twist. There was always some disaster happening. Brad Meltzer [00:03:17]: I would like plan this thing and then she'd be like, why are you doing that? And I'm like, oh, I've ruined it. But the best moments with her are the ones that, and I think, I don't know, this is maybe just a sign of getting older, but I truly believe, my friend, that the small moments are the big moments. I used to think that the big moments were the big moments and I fully believe it's the small moments. If you say to me, what's my favorite memories with my daughter? I'm gonna just off the top of my head, One, I remember I have this picture of her eating her first soft ice cream cone and the smile on her face as this thing melts in Florida all around her hand, the sprinkles coming everywhere, but she's so happy. It's a picture that I have of her hugging me so tight it looks like she's going to tear through my neck. It's just, it's pure love. It's this picture that I have of her, and not a picture, but in my head, when we danced together at her bat mitzvah. It was just— she was worried about it, didn't want to do it in front of everyone, but we had this little dance. Brad Meltzer [00:04:10]: And it's always the little moments that really struck me. And even as she got older, my daughter spent many years just thinking I was, as I think all daughters should, I'm the most embarrassing thing in her life. No kid should ever be enamored of their parents. And so she keeps me very honest on that front. But I remember when I did the commencement address at the University of Michigan, right before I gave it the night before, she said, oh, tomorrow's Star Wars Day. It's May the 4th. I know what your speech is about. to be about Star Wars. Brad Meltzer [00:04:38]: That's so stupid. What a dumb speech. And I'm like, you haven't even heard the speech and you're crapping all over it. And she's literally badmouthing something that I haven't even given. And that hasn't— of course she's completely wrong. I had nothing. There was nothing about Star Wars. And when my commencement address was done, she came up to me and she said, can I read the speech? She wanted to see it again. Brad Meltzer [00:04:57]: She wanted to see like what it looked like on paper. 'Cause it was the only time in our 21 years I think I ever saw her impressed with anything I ever did. Only one time. But I'm holding that sucker like the greatest memory of all time. And I remember she was like, this is not a joke. This is a serious piece of writing. And oh, I've got one more. This may be even the better one. Brad Meltzer [00:05:16]: This past year, she read my first novel. And I've been reviewed by the New York Times and Vanity Fair and everyone in between. I've never been more scared in my life than watching her read my very first book that I wrote when I was basically almost her age. And the fact that she liked it was— Again, I didn't even care if she liked it or didn't. She really did. But just watching her read that, it was like, that's what connection is, right? Is a curiosity that's not just like the simple stuff, but just the little tiny things. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:05:46]: I love that. You know, I think that what I found in being the father that I have become is all of us are going on this journey for ourselves, right? And we're having these small moments. We're doing what we can to be able to create those inroads and connection. And it kind of is an

One of the major themes that emerges from the conversation is the magic that comes from truly connecting with your children. Wylde Scott reflects on powerful family moments, like renewing marriage vows with his wife in front of the Eiffel Tower with both daughters by their side—a ritual that not only celebrates love but also leaves a deep, lifelong imprint on his children about commitment and family. The episode dives into the complexities of raising uniquely different kids. Wylde Scott is refreshingly honest about the challenges of finding the right balance between guidance and independence, especially when you have one child who's fearless and adventurous and another who is more reserved. He shares how important it is to adapt your parenting—sometimes pulling back, sometimes encouraging more risk—based on your daughter's individual needs and temperament. But perhaps the heart of this episode is the conversation about creativity. As a children's author, Wylde Scott is passionate about imagination as the foundation for success in a modern world rapidly being changed by technology and artificial intelligence. He argues that as parents, we often shut down creativity without realizing it, replacing free play and exploration with constant rules, structure, and fear of failure. Instead, he urges dads to be present—not just physically, but emotionally—and to actively nurture their daughter's curiosity and creative spirit every single day. The episode also features real talk on mistakes, sacrifice, and the evolving nature of family life. Wylde Scott reminds listeners that no dad is perfect, but being fully engaged and willing to learn from your own shortcomings can only strengthen your relationship. Most of all, he encourages fathers to embrace the unpredictable, to make time for individual moments with each child, and to model the courage to pursue dreams at any age. If you're a dad striving to prepare your daughter for a world full of possibilities and challenges, this episode is for you. Tune in to learn, laugh, and walk away with new ideas for nurturing both connection and creativity. If you enjoyed this episode we ask you to take a moment to take our Dad and Daughter Connection Survey to let us know more about you as a dad. You can also sign up to get our newsletter to stay connected to our community and we will send items of interest to you to help you to be the dad that you want to be. Feel free to follow me on the following social media platforms: Facebook, Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, X.   TRANSCRIPT Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:02]: Welcome to The Dad and Daughter Connection, the podcast for dads who want to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:12]: If you're looking to build a stronger bond with your daughter and help her grow into a confident, independent woman, you're in the right place. I'm Dr. Christopher Lewis, and The Dad and Daughter Connection is the podcast where we dive into real stories, expert advice, and practical tips to help you navigate the incredible journey of fatherhood. In every episode, we'll bring you conversations that inspire, challenge, and equip you to show up as the dad your daughter needs. So let's get started, because being a great dad isn't just about being there. It's about truly connecting. Welcome back to The Dad and Daughter Connection. where every week we have a great opportunity to be able to work together to build those relationships that we want to build with our daughters. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:02]: And it happens one day at a time. It's not always gonna be easy. There are gonna be times where you have to, you know, really just keep grinding and keep working to be able to build that relationship. Sometimes it's gonna be a high, sometimes it might be a low, but there are things that you can do every day to be able to keep creating and building that strong relationship that you want, with your daughters. And that's why this podcast exists. Every episode, I love being able to talk with you, to help you, to bring you individuals that can provide you with some tools for your own toolbox that hopefully at the end of this episode, you'll have some things that you can take out when you need them. And it might be today, it might be tomorrow, it might be a year from now. But it's important to be able to learn, to grow, and to be able to invest not only in your daughters, but in yourself. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:54]: That's why, as I said, I love having different people on this show that can provide you with some of the experiences that they've had. And today we've got another great guest. Today we're joined by Wild Scott, who is the author of Raising Dreamers, and he's a passionate advocate for imagination, creativity, and human potential in the age of artificial intelligence. He's a father of 2 daughters, and he definitely brings a personal perspective to the question of how we can raise confident, curious, independent young women who know how to think for themselves and imagine what's possible. And today we're going to be talking to him about his own experience as a father of 2 daughters, but also about his new book, Raising Dreamers. And we'll delve into both of those today. So I'm really excited to have Wild with us today. Wild, thanks so much for being here today. Wylde Scott [00:02:42]: Thanks for having me on, Chris. Super excited to be here. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:44]: So as I said, I know that you have 2 daughters and I am really excited to be able to to learn a little bit more from you on your own experiences. And all of us as dads, we are wanting to have those moments, those moments that are so important to be able to build those connections with our daughters. As you think about both of your daughters, what is one of the most meaningful moments that you've shared with your daughters and what made it so special? Wylde Scott [00:03:08]: So there's like, probably if you look back, there's probably 100 for each, right? If you're present, if you're always there, if you're always with them, experiencing life. I think the most recent that I would share with you was that I recently renewed my vows with my wife for the 5th time in front of the Eiffel Tower with both of my daughters as the bridesmaids. And it was a very special moment, but it's very hard for me to express how personally special that moment was for the whole family to be there doing that together. An incredible bond, an incredible just experience as a family. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:42]: Those are great opportunities to be able to show, show your daughters so many things about not only the love that you have for your wife, but also the commitment that you have for another person. And that definitely will leave a lasting mark on who they become for themselves as well. You know, all of us, I think, as dads, I know for me, as I've done things in my life and I've worked to try to be that dad that I want to be, we are having to really think hard about how we're balancing, balancing not only life, but balancing really how we're guiding our daughters while also giving them independence. How have you done that? How have you balanced guiding your daughters while being able to give them the independence that they needed to grow into the people that they have become? Wylde Scott [00:04:30]: I think you have to have a philosophy, and then you— and you also evolve as you go through the process. While your brain says one thing, your heart says another. That's a very difficult challenge. I think in the early years, I have to credit my wife a lot with understanding our children. And I have one who's, you know, hot on wheels all day long, not afraid of the world from the time she was 5 years old. So our existence was a lot of trying to figure out how to pull the reins back in without killing the spirit. The other one was kind of the opposite, very timid. And my wife did an amazing job of finding ways to push and push and push a little bit for the— for her to not be afraid of the world and for her to do well. Wylde Scott [00:05:07]: And then it kind of takes off, you know, that's, that's the early years. And we had an experience in our house that my 14-year-old, who who's now 25. She got herself— we started driving our kids to be very independent at an early age. And she got herself into a very prominent ballet program at the University of North Carolina School of the Arts. And it meant that she was going away to boarding school at 14 years old. And that was the first time you have this— we had a personal crisis, right? My wife and I had that personal crisis. We never thought about boarding school. It's, it's not even in our normal system, right? We never thought we would do anything like that. Wylde Scott [00:05:42]: We're both very connected to our kids. And we're very protective and all those things. And we're like, Oh my gosh, right? We're really going to let a 14-year-old go live on her own? And by the way, the campus is a very unique small campus in Winston-Salem, and it's split with a college. So it's also the art school for the University of North Carolina system. So not only sending our kid to a high school on a campus, she's also going to be there with a bunch of college students at the same time. And that forced a tremendous, you know, gut check on this theory about how, you know, how brave are you as a parent and how much do you want them to be on their own? And, and I would say I think it kind of set the tone for us. You know, we had a very hard time the first year just mentally dealing with it, and then all of a sudden one day it's like, you know, she's doing fine, she's doing great out there on her own. And she was 14, 15, 16 years old. Wylde Scott [00:06:26]: And I think it led us to be a little bit more reasonable on my younger one who's 2 years behind when she was in a regular high school, right? So we experienced the regu

Building a strong, meaningful relationship with your daughter takes intention, patience, and a genuine commitment to growth—for both parent and child. That's the heartbeat of "The Dad and Daughter Connection," a podcast devoted to helping dads nurture confidence and independence in their daughters. In the latest episode, host Dr. Christopher Lewis sits down with returning guest Arpan Shah to discuss what it really takes to create lasting, positive connections, even in challenging circumstances. One of the episode's central themes is being truly present. Arpan Shah opens up about his journey as a dad navigating dual custody, and how—even when parenting comes with logistical and emotional hurdles—intentionally showing up matters more than perfection. He shares the powerful impact of simple, everyday rituals: from regular FaceTime check-ins and nighttime meditation to asking thoughtful questions like, "How did you help someone today?" or "What new thing did you learn?" Another key takeaway is the importance of leading by example. Children learn more from their parents' behaviors than their words. Arpan Shah explains how volunteering at school, coaching basketball, and making time for shared hobbies like hiking and music aren't just fun—they show his daughter that she is valued and supported, while modeling lifelong curiosity and resilience. Honesty and forgiveness are woven throughout the conversation. Both Dr. Christopher Lewis and Arpan Shah talk about the inevitable mistakes that come with parenting. The real magic, they suggest, happens when we use those moments to communicate openly, learn together, and even let our daughters teach us a thing or two about empathy. The episode is full of practical advice for fathers who want to build a deep, trusting relationship with their daughters, such as: Prioritizing quality time over material things or work distractions Supporting your child's interests—from robotics and coding to sports and music Establishing meaningful routines and traditions Creating space for honest, two-way conversations—even when they're tough Focusing on presence instead of perfection If you're looking for real stories and actionable insights to help you on your fatherhood journey, this podcast is for you. Tune in for inspiration, support, and a reminder that your heart already knows the way—sometimes, you just need to be still, listen, and be present. Subscribe today and start strengthening your bond. Listen to the latest episode of "The Dad and Daughter Connection" now! If you enjoyed this episode we ask you to take a moment to take our Dad and Daughter Connection Survey to let us know more about you as a dad. You can also sign up to get our newsletter to stay connected to our community and we will send items of interest to you to help you to be the dad that you want to be. Feel free to follow me on the following social media platforms: Facebook, Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, X. TRANSCRIPT Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:02]: Welcome to The Dad and Daughter Connection, the podcast for dads who want to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:12]: If you're looking to build a stronger bond with your daughter and help her grow into a confident, independent woman, you're in the right place. I'm Dr. Christopher Lewis, and The Dad and Daughter Connection is the podcast where we dive into real stories, expert advice, and practical tips to help you navigate the incredible journey of fatherhood. In every episode, we'll bring you conversations that inspire, challenge, and equip you to show up as the dad your daughter needs. So let's get started. Because being a great dad isn't just about being there. It's about truly connecting. Welcome back to the Dad and Daughter Connection, where every week we have a great opportunity to be able to Work together on these relationships that we want to build with our daughters. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:02]: And I just want to say thank you. Thank you for coming back every week, for you putting yourself out there, for wanting to continue to keep learning, to keep growing, and to keep being present for your daughters. Because that's what it's all about. Each one of us has to put in the work, put in the time to be able to do what we can to be able to help our daughters grow into the women that they're becoming. But also, we need to put in the time for ourselves to be able to be the fathers that we want to be. And that's why this show exists. This show exists because I want to provide you with resources that are going to help you, give you some tools for your toolbox that'll help you to be that dad that you want to be. As you know, I've got 2 daughters. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:44]: I know you've got daughters. And I love being able to allow for you every week to learn something new from new people that can provide you with some of the experiences that they've had. in their life. Because every one of us as fathers is going to father in a different way. But we can learn from each other and take little pieces here and there to be able to help us be even better dads in the future. That's why every week I bring you a different guest, a different person with different experiences. And this week we've got another great guest. Arpan Shah is with us today. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:15]: And Arpan is a, actually a past guest of another podcast that I used to do called Dads with Daughters. And I was really excited to be able to ask him to come back to join us and to, and to have us have him back on to talk with us about his own journey as a father. And I'm really excited to introduce him to you. Arpan, thanks so much for being here today. Arpan Shah [00:02:38]: Thanks for having me, Chris. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:39]: I'm really excited to be able to have you here today and for you to share some of the experiences that you've had. I always start these interviews with an opportunity to learn a little bit more about you as a dad and talk about you and the relationship with your daughter. I guess first and foremost, as you think about the relationship that you have with your daughter, I know she's 9. So as you think back to that relationship that you have with her, what is one of the most meaningful moments that you've been able to share together with your daughter? And what made it so special? Arpan Shah [00:03:07]: I think the special moments is now that she's 9. My last podcast was when she was about 4 or 5. And I was in the midst of a really bad custody battle. And so I was going through all kinds of emotions that many fathers go through in the treacherous waters of family court. And so what has changed And what's meaningful now is those little random hugs and bursts of, I love you, for no absolute reason, where you can see the unconditional love just pouring out of each other's eyes and souls when you embrace your child. And knowing that you're doing a good job, knowing that she's smart, she's got a good heart, and that she is a kind person, and she helps me out as well. And those are some of the most meaningful little milestones. Just if we can have that connection as the child grows and blooms, to nurture that and to have a hand in that is extremely humbling. Arpan Shah [00:03:57]: And something to be very grateful for. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:58]: As you think about what you just said, each one of us is trying to do things to intentionally build those moments and be able to have those opportunities to be able to connect with our daughters. What are some intentional ways that you've worked to strengthen your bond with your daughter, especially during challenging times? Arpan Shah [00:04:16]: Well, recently, as she's gotten older, this is much different, as I have not pondered these questions you've asked for some time now, is There is a struggle when she goes from home to home. Our parenting schedule is such where she is 7 days with me with a break in the middle where there's a date night with the other parent and with her mother. And then on 7 days with her mom, I have a date night in the middle of the week as well. So during those times, there are FaceTime calls every day. And then we do a check-in. We meditate or pray every night before going to sleep. And the way I started that was a count to 10, just a breathing to 10 where you clear your mind for those 10 seconds. And I kind of assist her in doing so. Arpan Shah [00:04:59]: So, and we'll take deep breaths, we'll hold them, we'll let them out, and we'll try to clear ourselves of all our thoughts and whatever might be on our minds. We just clear it. And it's just me and her, her voice and mine. And then we find peace. And then we touch base every day where that grows. I can get into that a little further, but I think that's something that everybody should do is just unwind with your child and debrief. How was your day today? What were some of your best moments of the day? How have you helped somebody today? What did you learn today? Those kind of questions are very important to ask. And then getting a habit of that, it keeps it in your mind throughout the day. Arpan Shah [00:05:35]: It helps you have a more positive impact as a parent. And then the child ponders those questions a lot more than you might think. Children learn more from behaviors than what you tell them to do. So it's important for you to exhibit that as well. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:05:46]: And following up with that, you talked a little bit about the fact that getting her back onto a routine and moving from routine to routine, and some fathers like yourself have a similar type of a family dynamic that has to happen based on time with mom, time with dad, you know, whatever the situation is. And you said that you've tried some different things that have worked, maybe some things that didn't work. For other fathers that are in dual custody type of situations like that,

At the heart of The Dad and Daughter Connection, featured in this week's episode, is the steadfast belief that the strongest father-daughter relationships are built one intentional moment at a time. In a conversation brimming with honesty and warmth, Dr. Christopher Lewis sits down with Matt Haviland and his 20-year-old daughter, Olivia Haviland, to explore what it truly means to connect, support, and empower our daughters to become confident, independent women. Listening With Intent One of the most powerful themes from this episode is the importance of truly listening. Olivia Haviland reflects on her high school years, sharing how her dad's willingness to listen without judgment made her feel seen and valued. Rather than resorting to harsh discipline, Matt Haviland chose to open a dialogue, striving to understand Olivia's perspective and guide rather than simply correct. This practice, inspired by a national survey in which teens wished their dads would "listen more," is a reminder for all fathers: be present, and let your daughter's voice be heard. Meaningful Moments Big and Small Connection isn't always about the grand gestures. Matt Haviland and Olivia share memories ranging from epic squirt gun battles to heartfelt college essays, and even "loud and obnoxious" declarations of love at McDonald's. Whether it's a shared joke, a drive together, or simply showing up at a dance recital, these moments accumulate into a reservoir of trust and comfort. As Olivia Haviland puts it, time spent together outweighs any material gift. Guidance and Independence Balancing guidance with independence is a recurring theme. Matt Haviland, a former single dad, emphasizes being intentional with the time he shared with Olivia, supporting her dreams while encouraging self-reflection and growth. For Olivia, this support translated into confidence in her career and life decisions—bolstered by her dad's encouragement to think long-term and his faith-based guidance. Real Advice for Real Dads This episode wraps with practical wisdom: prioritize time with your kids, apologize for your mistakes, and let your actions reflect your family values. Both Matt Haviland and Olivia Haviland urge dads everywhere to listen deeply and value presence over presents. Ready to strengthen your bond with your daughter? Listen to this heartfelt episode of The Dad and Daughter Connection and discover how every day can be an opportunity to connect, grow, and become the dad she needs. If you enjoyed this episode we ask you to take a moment to take our Dad and Daughter Connection Survey to let us know more about you as a dad. You can also sign up to get our newsletter to stay connected to our community and we will send items of interest to you to help you to be the dad that you want to be. Feel free to follow me on the following social media platforms: Facebook, Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, X. TRANSCRIPT Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:02]: Welcome to The Dad and Daughter Connection, the podcast for dads who want to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:12]: If you're looking to build a stronger bond with your daughter and help her grow into a confident, independent woman, you're in the right place. I'm Dr. Christopher Lewis, and The Dad and Daughter Connection is the podcast where we dive into real stories, expert advice, and practical tips to help you navigate the incredible journey of fatherhood. In every episode, we'll bring you conversations that inspire, challenge, and equip you to show up as the dad your daughter needs. So let's get started, because being a great dad isn't just about being there. It's about truly connecting. Welcome back to the Dad and Daughter Connection, where every week we have a great opportunity to be able to work together to build those connections that we want to have with our daughters one day at a time. You know, I love it that you come back every week because that shows a lot about who you want to be as a father, but also who you want to be and what type of relationship you want to have, relationship that you want to have with your daughter. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:16]: And it takes time, it takes effort, and it takes work. And we have to keep showing up. And it is so important for us to be able to put the work in for ourselves, but also put in the work with our daughters to be able to have that solid relationship that we wanna have. And that's why this podcast exists. Every week, I love being able to bring you different people with different experiences that allow for you to be able to learn, to grow, to get some tools for your toolbox, and to be able to take those and use them for the future. So I am really excited today to have a, I'm gonna say a return guest. It's not really a return guest on this show, but Matt Haviland, is with us. And Matt and his daughter are with us today, his daughter Olivia. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:02]: And Matt is a past guest of a past podcast that I did called Dads with Daughters about 4 years ago. And I'm really excited to be able to have Matt on, but also this time his daughter Olivia, to be able to talk about the relationship that they've been able to build together and also what they've learned along the way to share that with you. Matt, Olivia, thanks so much for being here today. Matt Haviland [00:02:26]: Yeah, Chris, thanks again for having me back. And this is a really It's a really special moment to have Olivia with me today. So say hi. Olivia Haviland [00:02:33]: Hi. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:33]: I'm really excited to have you both here. And I want to go back a little bit because I know, Olivia, you're 20. You know, you're an adult now. You're doing the life thing. You're doing the work thing. You're out there. And as you think back to the relationship that you've been able to build with your dad, what's one thing that your dad did for you that helped you and made you feel truly seen, heard, and valued as a daughter? Olivia Haviland [00:03:02]: Um, I would say in high school, I was struggling a lot with my mental health. And then I was getting myself into a little bit of trouble. And he didn't ground me. Well, there was like boundaries where he grounded me a little bit, but he was more open to like listening as of like why I did the things that I did, instead of just like not hearing me out and just screaming at me, taking my phone, not letting me hang out with my friends and everything. So that meant a lot to me. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:32]: And Matt, I guess, take me back to that point for you, because I know you had your own journey as a youth and went through your own stuff. And we talked about, we talked about a lot of that in the first interview that we did. So talk to me about that for you and hearing that from Olivia and how you had to be able to kind of take what you learned to be able to help her? Matt Haviland [00:03:57]: Yeah, I was very grateful for a lot of the experiences that I had, not only personally but also professionally or through mentorship as well. I guess where I can go with that, Chris, is Olivia was born when I was 30 years old, so I wasn't super young. So by the time she's in high school, you know, I'm in my mid-40s. I would like to say I've learned a few things over those 14 or 15 years of parenting her, but I also Just like a lot of people, either parents or— I, I work with fathers also in a professional setting. You know, we learn a lot from our own previous experiences. So the things my own parents did or did not do, so learning how to correct that and apply that as much as possible. Plus working in a fatherhood field for so long, I've obviously picked up tips, either again things that I've taught guys or other men have taught me as well. But it really becomes a lot different instead of me just telling a dad what to do when I actually have to live this out. Matt Haviland [00:04:54]: But I think I could attribute a lot of it to— I was at a conference many years ago, probably 2010, 2012, and they revealed a survey result, a national survey, and they said all these teen kids wish their dad would fill in the blank. And the number one answer was listen more. And that was something that, just like Olivia just said, instead of flying off the handle, telling her how much trouble she's in, let me hear her out first. Olivia Haviland [00:05:18]: Yeah. Matt Haviland [00:05:19]: And then we can go from there. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:05:20]: Now I know that a lot of times, Matt, we as fathers are trying to build those moments, those meaningful moments that connect us with our kids. And what is one of the most meaningful moments that you've been able to share with Olivia and what made it so special? Matt Haviland [00:05:35]: Okay, she said the water fight, so clearly that must have been one. It was April Fool's Day, probably about 4 or 5 years ago. She pranked me in the house and that turned out to a full-blown squirt gun war in the house, actually Super Soakers in the house. Olivia Haviland [00:05:49]: Well, I pranked him once and then he forgot to take the tape off the faucet and pranked himself again. Matt Haviland [00:05:55]: Yeah, she did the old, you know, she tied the rubber band around the sprayer on the kitchen sink. So when I turned on the kitchen sink faucet, it hit me, and then I shut it off and hit myself again. And yes, that is a very— we're gonna remember that forever, having a squirt gun fight in the house. Not recommended. My wife had something to say about it when she got home, but it was very meaningful. Another really meaningful moment on a more emotional level was a couple years ago, Olivia wrote a paper for college, and they were to choose somebody that's inspired them inspired them, and she wrote the paper about me. And it starts out with the words, I am who I am today because of my dad. And I don't think, Christopher, I don't think there's any greater words that a

If you're a dad on a mission to forge a lasting, meaningful bond with your daughter, "The Dad and Daughter Connection" should be your next podcast download. In a recent episode, host Dr. Christopher Lewis sits down with John Azoni, a father of two daughters (ages 9 and 11), who opens up about the real joys and sometimes messy challenges of raising confident, independent girls. Intentionality and Presence From the very start, Dr. Christopher Lewis sets the tone: fatherhood isn't about achieving perfection, but about truly connecting and learning as you go. Each week, the podcast dives into stories and practical advice to help dads show up with intention. As John Azoni shares, "There's no one right way to father our daughters," but we can always add new tools to our toolbox by learning from each other. Creating Meaningful Memories A standout theme of this episode is making memories, both big and small. John Azoni recounts an unforgettable trip to Japan with his daughter for her 10th birthday—a tradition inspired by a parenting book. But the heart of the conversation reveals that it's often the simplest moments, like cooking together or going for wonton soup every Thursday, that mean the most. One-on-one time, even a half hour at bedtime, can become the foundation for lifelong connections. Honesty, Growth, and Mistakes Both John Azoni and Dr. Christopher Lewis candidly discuss the challenges—especially during difficult times like COVID or navigating questions around faith. John Azoni is honest about making mistakes, from losing patience to not always having the answers. The key lesson? "I make a lot of mistakes and I've learned to be okay with that… I want my kids to grow up and know their dad was crazy about them." Encouragement to Other Dads The episode wraps with powerful advice: Be intentional. Don't let stress distract you from what really matters. As John Azoni puts it, "The grass is greener where you water it"—the relationships you invest in now will shape the future. If you're a dad, or know someone who is, this episode is a must-listen. It's a heartfelt reminder that showing up, being present, and embracing imperfection are the real keys to building an unbreakable bond with your daughter. Listen to the full episode of The Dad and Daughter Connection to get inspired and start your journey toward a stronger relationship today! If you enjoyed this episode we ask you to take a moment to take our Dad and Daughter Connection Survey to let us know more about you as a dad. You can also sign up to get our newsletter to stay connected to our community and we will send items of interest to you to help you to be the dad that you want to be. Feel free to follow me on the following social media platforms: Facebook, Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, X. TRANSCRIPT Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:02]: Welcome to The Dad and Daughter Connection, the podcast for dads who want to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:12]: If you're looking to build a stronger bond with your daughter and help her grow into a confident, independent woman, you're in the right place. I'm Dr. Christopher Lewis, and The Dad and Daughter Connection is the podcast where we dive into real stories, expert advice, and practical tips to help you navigate the incredible journey of fatherhood. In every episode, we'll bring you conversations that inspire, challenge, and equip you to show up as the dad your daughter needs. So let's get started, because being a great dad isn't just about being there, it's about truly connecting. Welcome back to the Dad and Daughter Connection, where every week we have a great opportunity to be able to connect with one another and work on building those that we want with our daughters one day at a time. I love that you come back every week because all of us are on a journey. Whether you have toddlers, whether you have a baby at home, whether you have teenagers at home, whether you have adult kids, we all are on this continuum of being a father to a daughter. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:19]: And we can always learn more. We can always learn more to help us to be able to be better in the role that we have. We're gonna stumble, we're gonna fall, That's okay. All of us do it. There's no one right way to father our daughters. But what we can do is we can learn from other dads what's working for them, what's not working for them, and build some tools for our own toolbox, add some tools for our own toolbox, and be able to get just that much better every day because that's what we need to be doing. to be able to be there for our daughters. That's what we need to be doing to be able to be present. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:59]: And I am really excited to have another new guest this week. John Azoni is with us today, and John's a father of 2 daughters who are 9 and 11. And we're gonna be talking about the journey that he's been on with his daughters. And I'm really excited to have him here today. John, thanks so much for being here. John Azoni [00:02:15]: Thanks for having me. It's great to be here. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:17]: You know, it's really, I'm really excited to be able to have you here today and to be able to talk to you about the journey that you have been on thus far with your daughters. And I guess one of the things that I always think about when it comes to raising our daughters is we're always running after those moments. We want those moments with our kids. And as you think back to the years that you've had with your daughters thus far, what's one of the most meaningful moments that you've been able to share with them and what made it so special? And one thing I'll add is they could be separate moments as well. John Azoni [00:02:49]: So I read this book a number of years ago called Love Does. The author is Bob Goff and it's a faith-based book. And in it, he talks a lot about parenting. parenting. And he told the story of taking his kids when they turned 10 on a trip anywhere in the world they want to go to, really leaning into what is it that they are becoming, what is it that they're interested in, and, and where can we go in the world to kind of deepen that. And so I always thought that that was a cool idea. And my daughter, when she turned 10 last year, my daughter Ellie, in my mind I was kind of like maybe somewhere in the United States. I don't remember explicitly saying anywhere in the world. John Azoni [00:03:25]: So when my daughter was like, I want to go to Japan, I was like, oh, okay. Well, so after a lot of hemming and hawing, I talked to my wife. She's like, just do it. It's like once in a lifetime. We're like, all right, we're going to Japan. So, so we went to Tokyo last May and it was so cool just to learn about another culture together, to really press into, you know, the stuff that she likes. She's really into K-pop. It's obviously not in Korea, but somewhere over there. John Azoni [00:03:54]: She's into that kind of Asian culture and Hello Kitty. And they have the biggest Hello Kitty store in the world there, uh, video games and arcades where she can and do all the— she loves playing those claw games, which are really popular in Asian countries. So, so it was great. I mean, we just traveled around, we ate good food, we went to Paris Disney, um, and just spent a week together. That— and, and even just like, it was a pretty short trip, but— and people were like, well, you're just going for like 5 days? Like, aren't you gonna be— I mean, like, a big part of that is just traveling, you know? By the time you get there, I think we had 3 full days there. And I was just like, you know, it's, it's the adventure. It's like traveling is, is part of it. We're gonna learn how to do the airport together. John Azoni [00:04:30]: So on the way there, I kind of led the charge, but on the way back I was like, All right, where do you think we should turn to get to baggage claim or stuff like that? Or where do you think we should go to get our bags checked? So that was fun. And, you know, I've had other special experiences with my youngest daughter, Ryland. Currently though, we're planning her trip. She wants to go to Paris. So we're planning on going to Paris next year. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:04:50]: Those will be experiences that they will never forget. And definitely you don't have to do these huge moments. They can be small moments as well. But I had an experience like that last year with my oldest who is in college, but she was out in Colorado and I picked her up from a camp she was working in and we spent a week going to all the national parks all around in that area. So we went to Zion and Bryce and Grand Canyon and Petrified Forest, all kinds of places. And we hiked and we just had an amazing experience. And I think when you have those opportunities, not only are they great opportunities to be able to have to build memories, but you have time one-on-one. And I think that's even more important. John Azoni [00:05:32]: Yeah, one-on-one time is really special. So last weekend, my oldest daughter went to Florida with my wife because she does dance, and her dance group went to go perform at Disney in the parade. And so that was just a life dream of hers. And she got this one-on-one time with my wife. And previously, we were kind of like, all right, we're Disney'd out. We've been to Disney World. We've been on a Disney cruise. I took Ellie to Disney in Tokyo. John Azoni [00:05:58]: And we've been to Disneyland when we went to California last year. And my wife was kind of like, all right, this is the last time I got to go to Disney. And then I get a text from her in the middle of it. She's like, this is so great. It's such a different experience being one-on-one with Ellie and we're just having the best time. And at the same time, I'm home with Ryland and we had our own special weekend. We, you know, wrote on the whiteboard, here's all the things we wann