TheWillpowerPodcast with Will Gordon

He was on The Biggest Loser while he was still using opioids. He told the love of his life he didn't love her, and spent years trying to take it back. Then he wrote it all down.This week I sat down with Brendan Donovan: West Roxbury guy, special ed teacher for 26 years, Biggest Loser contestant, and author of the memoir HAPPYSAD: Getting Over the One That Got Away.Two Boston guys. Two teachers. Both still figuring it out. We get into drinking at 13, how one calf injury turned into an opioid addiction, losing 125 pounds on national TV while still taking pills the whole time, gaslighting the people who loved us most, and why Brendan says writing this book may have saved his life.It's heavy in places and funny in others. Brendan doesn't make himself look good in his story, and that's exactly why it was one of my favorite epsidoes. Brendan, thank you for trusting me with it, brother.Fair warning: two guys from Boston in one room means roughly 4,000 dropped R's. Captions are your friend.📖 Get HAPPYSAD: [ADD BOOK LINK]📸 Follow Brendan: @brendandfrombostonhttps://www.instagram.com/brendandfromboston/⏱️ CHAPTERS0:00 The only active addict on The Biggest Loser0:15 Two Boston guys, two teachers1:26 Meet Brendan: 26 years in special ed2:06 "These kids drove me to drink"3:44 Bringing the kids' stories home6:07 Cossack vodka at 138:08 How one calf injury led to opioids12:14 The love of his life and the spiral14:34 On The Biggest Loser, still using16:00 Did The Biggest Loser hurt contestants?19:04 The engagement that broke him22:35 Writing HAPPYSAD25:49 Why telling the ugly truth connects29:08 Brendan asks me why I started this podcast32:18 "I don't know if I'd be here without this book"35:11 The car crash and quitting cold turkey37:07 Getting help again: IOP38:20 Want to feel better? Go help someone41:01 Boston dads and bootstraps42:31 The hardest chapter: gaslighting44:31 My hidden bottles and the guilt I carry46:29 Pushing away the people who love you47:58 "You got a good woman, man"49:06 Where to get HAPPYSAD☕ SUPPORT THE SHOWThere's no studio and no sponsor here. It's just me, a mic, and people brave enough to tell the truth. If an episode ever made you feel a little less alone, you can buy me a coffee to keep these conversations coming. I'm genuinely grateful for every single one (and yes, it's decaf, my liver and I have an agreement). -this is where Mayza (my wife) will chime in and say I drink 75 % coffee mate (vanialla bean btw ftw) and 25% actual coffee. (dopamine seeking...am i rite? 🤝) https://buymeacoffee.com/thewillpowerpodcast📲 FOLLOW ALONGInstagram: @thewillpowerpodcastTikTok: @willgordonsoberFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61565511313292💬 IF YOU'RE STRUGGLING, YOU'RE NOT ALONEIn the U.S., call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline), or call SAMHSA's free, confidential helpline at 1-800-662-4357 for help with substance use. Outside the U.S., please reach out to your local crisis line.This episode includes open conversation about addiction, depression, and suicidal thoughts. It's two people sharing their own stories, not medical advice.🔔 If this one meant something to you, subscribe and hit the bell. It helps these conversations find the people who need them. And tell me in the comments: what's one thing you finally owned up to?See you next week. Take care of yourselves.– Will#recovery #sobriety #addictionrecovery #mentalhealth #biggestloser

Chelsea was told she’d die within a year without a liver transplant, and she kept drinking for nine more months, even in her hospital bed. Two years sober and nine months post-transplant, this is her raw, honest story of addiction, liver failure, and getting her life back.“I’m this little nobody, drug addict, alcoholic that nobody ever listened to. And he goes, ‘I’m listening.’”Chelsea doesn’t clean her story up. She lost her son at 24, went from never using to shooting heroin, contracted hepatitis C and never took the cure sitting in her medicine cabinet. Then she spent ten years drinking from the moment she woke up until she fell asleep. She documented her liver failure for 177,000 people on TikTok. She was told she had three months left and nearly sent to hospice. Then a doctor, a 2 a.m. nurse and a total stranger reminded her she was worth saving.I’m a liver and kidney transplant recipient myself, and this is one of the most honest conversations I’ve ever had on this show. If you’ve ever felt like you didn’t deserve to be saved, this one’s for you.CHAPTERS00:00 “You Don’t Deserve That Liver” (Cold Open)00:30 Meet Chelsea01:41 Losing Her Son at 2402:32 From Never Using to Shooting Heroin05:31 “You Guys Have Only Seen Me Dying”07:26 10 Years of Drinking & the Hep C Pills She Never Took11:37 “I Was the Chaos”12:22 DCF, Search Dogs & a Car Full of Alcohol13:35 “My Life Is So Boring Now and I Love It”14:10 Why She Finally Stopped16:55 Why She Filmed Her Own Liver Failure19:56 “The Smartest, Dumbest Person”22:33 The Water Bottle Trick for Letting Go of Anger23:44 From Toxic to Peaceful: Her Marriage Sober25:55 Drinking in the Hospital28:01 3 Months to Live & Hospice28:34 Hospice in the Room & a Secret Referral30:02 MELD Scores & 9 Months on the List32:29 “Just Get Through the Day”33:45 The 2 A.M. Nurse36:57 “Do I Deserve This Liver?”39:53 The Day My Family Said Goodbye40:37 Part 2: Waking Up From a Liver Transplant42:01 Suboxone & “There’s No One Way to Get Sober”45:09 The Doctor Who Said “I’m Listening”48:38 A Bile Leak & a Second Surgery50:03 Depression & Guilt After Transplant50:45 Letters to Donor Families52:41 Meds, Labs & Life After Transplant57:54 Life Now: Quiet, Simple, Sober59:46 If You’re Still Drinking, Hear ThisIF YOU’RE STRUGGLINGUS: SAMHSA National Helpline, 1-800-662-4357 (free, confidential, 24/7)Call or text 988 if you’re in crisis or struggling with your mental healthFind treatment, including medication for opioid use disorder: findtreatment.govOutside the US: findahelpline.comIf you drink heavily every day, please don’t stop suddenly without medical help. Withdrawal can be dangerous.BECOME AN ORGAN DONORIt takes one checkbox: registerme.orgSUPPORT THE SHOW ☕💛The Willpower Podcast is independent, made with a mic, a lot of heart and a whole lot of gratitude. If an episode helped you feel little less alone, you can buy me a coffee to help keep these conversations going. Every single one means the world to me.https://buymeacoffee.com/thewillpowerpodcastCONNECT tiktok.com/@chelseablake1125||instagram.com/chelseablake_85 instagram.com/thewillpowerpodcastThis podcast shares personal experiences and isn’t medical advice. Please talk to your own doctor about your health.#LiverTransplantSurvivor #SoberMom #HepatitisC #TransplantLife #MATSavesLives #OrganDonationSavesLives

Melissa McGovern, The Sober New Yorker, looked fine on the outside. Then her bloodwork came back: liver enzymes in the 200–300s, near-diabetic blood sugar, and a doctor telling her to change or start medication.“I would love to tell him that I’m drinking too much… and I couldn’t even say that to him.” In this episode of The Willpower Podcast, Melissa shares the story she’s never sugarcoated: watching her best friend, T Scott, die from alcohol use disorder while she quietly wondered if she could still drink while caring for him. Then she gave herself 90 days, and her life changed. She’s been alcohol-free since August 2023, and today she coaches women who are quietly negotiating with the bottle every night.IN THIS EPISODEThe doctor’s email that changed everything, and what her labs looked like 11 weeks laterGray area drinking: “She’s a party girl. I’d never think she has a problem.”Why she could never keep vodka in the houseLosing T Scott to cirrhosis, and “just don’t give up on me”Why you don’t have to wait for rock bottom (or a transplant) to quitThe fear of change vs. the fear of staying stuckHer first sober retreat, her first online meeting, and finding communityLeading alcohol-free retreats in New York CityFinding purpose at 51: coaching Gen X womenHer rule for early sobriety: treat it like a newborn babyCHAPTERS00:00 Finding the Strength to Change00:50 Introduction to Melissa's Journey01:48 The Turning Point: A Doctor's Warning06:11 The Struggle with Alcohol and Identity11:02 The Shift to Vodka: A Dangerous Path16:08 The Impact of Loss: T Scott's Story22:37 Finding the Strength to Change25:39 The Fear of Change vs. Staying Stuck26:31 Facing Change and Fear29:23 The Journey to Sobriety32:40 Building Community and Connection34:57 Embracing Recovery and Finding Purpose39:28 Navigating Social Aspects of SobrietyIF YOU’RE STRUGGLING👇US: SAMHSA National Helpline, 1-800-662-4357 (free, confidential, 24/7)Call or text 988 if you’re in crisis or struggling with your mental healthOutside the US: findahelpline.comIf you drink heavily every day, please don’t stop suddenly without medical help. Withdrawal can be dangerous.SUPPORT THE SHOW ☕💛The Willpower Podcast is independent, made with a mic, a lot of heart and a whole lot of gratitude. If an episode ever helped you feel a little less alone, you can buy me a coffee to help keep these conversations going. Every single one means the world to me.https://buymeacoffee.com/thewillpowerpodcastCONNECTMelissa: instagram.com/thesobernewyorker| thesobernewyorker.comThe Willpower Podcast: instagram.com/thewillpowerpodcastSubscribe for new episodes every Friday.This podcast shares personal experiences and isn’t medical advice. Please talk to your own doctor about your health.#GrayAreaDrinking #Sobriety #AlcoholFree

Scarlett Larkley’s alcohol-related liver failure led to sepsis, dialysis and a liver transplant in 2025. This is her honest story of recovery, shame and sobriety.“Everyone was kind of like preparing for my death.” In this episode of The Willpower Podcast, I sit down with Scarlett Larkley, a mom of two and liver transplant recipient, to talk about the parts of a transplant story that rarely get told: how daily drinking took over, how fast it fell apart, and what the first year afterward is really like. I’m a liver and kidney transplant recipient myself, so this one hit close to home.IN THIS EPISODEWhen alcohol stopped being fun and became a daily routineDay drinking during COVID, and what was going on in her life at the timeThe day her eyes turned yellow (May 3, 2025) and her hospital stay (May 22 to July 1, 2025)Kidney failure, dialysis, hepatic encephalopathy, ascites and paracentesisGoing septic, and the moment doctors told her family to preparePEth tests, getting listed, and a transplant in June 2025Waking up after transplant and relearning to walk and talkYear one: a feeding tube, anti-rejection medications and nauseaThe shame, telling friends, and her partner getting soberWhat it’s been like for her kidsDreams about drinking, and “Why do I deserve this?”CHAPTERS00:00 They Were Preparing for My Death | Meet Scarlett Larkley05:52 Yellow Eyes, Dialysis & Going Septic17:11 Waking Up After the Liver Transplant22:46 When Her Partner Quit Drinking & Learning to Walk Again28:09 Year One After a Liver Transplant: Feeding Tube & Meds35:55 Her Kids, Sobriety & the Shame44:55 “Why Do I Deserve This?” Donor Guilt & PurposeI edit and produce everything myself; so if you found value in this please consider supporting Donate here 👈 🙏IF YOU’RE STRUGGLINGUS: SAMHSA National Helpline, 1-800-662-4357 (free, 24/7)Call or text 988 if you’re in crisisOutside the US: findahelpline.comDon’t stop heavy drinking suddenly without medical help. Withdrawal can be dangerous.BECOME AN ORGAN DONORIt takes one checkbox: registerme.orgCONNECTScarlett: instagram.com/scarlettlarkleyThe Willpower Podcast: instagram.com/thewillpowerpodcastSubscribe for new episodes: [https://youtube.com/@thewillpowerpodcast]This podcast shares personal experiences and isn’t medical advice. Please talk to your own care team about your health.#LiverTransplant #AlcoholRecovery #Sobriety

She drank a liter of vodka a day. Her MELD score hit 40. And she still thought she'd never be able to quit. Welcome to Season 3 🎙️ of The Willpower Podcast. I've been away since June, and this is the conversation I wanted to come back with.Tia is 44, from Albuquerque, and nearly three years out from her liver transplant. She found out her liver was failing by accident, when an urgent care visit for a sore elbow turned up iron levels so high doctors sent her to an oncologist. She's honest about the "duh" that came with the diagnosis: not surprised, and completely surprised, both at once.In this episode we talk about:- Growing up in an alcoholic family, and why drinking never felt like a choice- Weekly fluid drains, the yellow bile, and the moment she couldn't roll over in bed- Watching her aunt choose to drink until the end while Tia fought to keep her own life- Two transplant calls that fell through, including one on Christmas Day- Coding on the table, a missed bile duct, and a second surgery- Fourteen days in a coma, and waking up to a decorated room and a birthday she'd missed- Her donor, Chad, and the letters we both keep writing to families who may never write back- How she and her husband rebuilt a marriage after the bottleAnd because this is what The Willpower Podcast is for, I shared a part of my own story I've never told on camera, from the night I had a 4% chance of surviving. A near-death experience story I've never told publicly before until today. If you've ever felt like there was no way back, or you're carrying shame about how you got sick, I hope this feels like a conversation with someone who gets it. Tia said it better than I could: "we're not evil people, we're just people, and we deserve to be saved as much as anyone." 💚 To every organ donor and donor family: thank you. If you're not registered, you can sign up in a couple of minutes at registerme.org.💚If you or someone you love is struggling with alcohol, the free, confidential SAMHSA National Helpline is 1-800-662-4357 (24/7). This episode is personal storytelling, not medical advice. Please talk to your care team about your own health.If this moved you, a like, a share, and a subscribe help this message reach someone who needs it. I edit and produce the podcast myself, so donations are so appreciated. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.Donate here 👈 🙏CHAPTERS00:00 Raised in It02:59 Under the Table05:52 Iron at 30,00008:52 She Already Knew11:55 MELD 4014:50 Her Aunt Chose the Other Ending18:08 A Liter a Day20:00 The Marriage After the Bottle24:25 She Hid It at Work26:48 The Shower Prayer37:46 The Calls That Fell Through39:52 She Coded, Then They Missed the Duct43:21 The Bracelet47:58 Fourteen Days in the Dark51:41 The Laugh That Brought Him Back57:15 We Are Not Evil People#livertransplant #alcoholism #organdonation #alcoholicliverdisease #sobriety