Life Shift | True Stories of Healing, Grief & Loss

Content note: this episode includes discussion of the loss of an infant child. Maybe you know what it is to keep a small ritual no one else knows about. Something you do quietly at night, just to be sure. Tania Chomyk was in her thirties, a mom to a five year old daughter and a six month old son, living what everyone called the million dollar family. On the morning of November 11th, 1998, she woke up, turned to her husband, and said, what an angel, he slept through the night. Her son Danylo had already passed. Tania walks us through the fog of that day, the months she spent retreating from the world, and the little girl whose gentle words about her brother gave her a reason to keep going. For twelve years she checked on her next baby every night with a finger under his nose, and she told no one. We talk about grief that shows up when it wants to, clean pain and dirty pain, a marriage that couldn't hold two different ways of grieving, and the research paper she wrote in 2002 that she pulled back out twenty years later. Tania shares what carrying grief has looked like for her, and she leaves room for yours. What You'll Hear The morning of November 11th, 1998, and the fog that came after A five year old daughter who became her reason to keep going Signs, a Beanie Baby angel, and feeling her son's presence Retreating, returning to work, and the Easter question that broke her open Clean pain, dirty pain, and a marriage that grieved in two directions Writing a book twenty-eight years later to support the Child Life Program at the Montreal Children's Hospital Guest Bio: Tania Chomyk is an author, life transition expert, award-winning inspirational speaker and educator with more than 30 years of experience in higher education, career development, leadership and personal growth. The unexpected loss of her infant son, Danylo, became the catalyst for her life’s work helping others navigate grief, life transitions and new beginnings with courage, clarity, and hope. She is the author of Bringing Light to Loss: Redefining Grief to Reclaim Hope and Meaning. Website: https://taniachomyk.com/ Book: Bringing Light to Loss: Redefining Grief to Reclaim Hope and Meaning Listen and follow: www.thelifeshiftpodcast.com/follow Subscribe to the newsletter: https://thelifeshiftpodcast.beehiiv.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever had an ordinary afternoon that turned out to be one of the most important of your life? Pam was 38, living a life she calls a blessing, with a loving husband, great friends, and a house that was always ready for the next party. Then one afternoon around her pool, she got to know her younger brother as an adult for the very first time. Less than three weeks later, he was gone. That was the first of many losses. Her brother, her mom, her dad, and then Jim, the husband who walked beside her through all of it since she was 26. Through every one of them, her faith stayed with her, and so did her pen. She started writing after her brother died, and she picked it back up after Jim passed, hoping something good could come from it all. This is a gentle and honest conversation about grief that keeps changing shape, the things we get to say and the things we never do, and what it looks like to find your footing when part of you went with the person you loved. It is also Pam's very first video podcast, and she told me she was nervous. I am so glad she came. What You'll Hear An afternoon by the pool with a brother she barely knew A decision about organ donation that honored who he was Grieving a mother before she was gone, and finding each other again Asking the Lord for more time, and getting almost two more years with Jim Why the last chapter does not get to be the whole book Stepping outside her comfort zone, and the message from a recent widow that made it worth it Guest Bio Pamela Joy Dlugos is an award-winning author, educator, and spiritual encourager whose writing brings God's Word to life through messages of comfort, hope, and inspiration. A former teacher and founder of ReJOYce Publications, she is the author of four faith-filled books for readers of all ages. Her grief journey spans more than three decades: the sudden loss of her only sibling, both parents, and most recently, her beloved husband of 45 years. Those LIFE SHIFTS inspired books on subjects she never planned to write about, guided by the Holy Spirit every step of the way. Today, Pamela's calling is to help grieving hearts find hope, healing, and joy while discovering what God may be leading them toward in life's unexpected next chapter. Website: authorpamelajoy.com YouTube: @authorpamelajoy 0:00 Pam's story in brief 3:34 Who Pam is today: author, encourager, publisher 6:02 Life before the first loss 10:09 An afternoon by the pool with her brother 11:47 Her brother's death and the organ donation decision 15:22 Writing begins with Messages from Heaven 16:27 Questioning faith after loss 18:36 Grieving her mother before she was gone 28:39 Jim's unexplained fatigue 30:15 The hospital, the ventilator and asking for more time 33:49 Jim's passing and losing part of herself 34:37 Writing again: the memoir and Seeds of Joy 44:41 What she hopes for in the next year 46:20 The message from a recent widow 48:46 What she would tell her younger self 49:35 Where to find Pam's books and YouTube Listen and follow: https://www.thelifeshiftpodcast.com/follow/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=shownotes&utm_campaign=ep298 Subscribe to the newsletter: https://thelifeshiftpodcast.beehiiv.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Content note: this episode includes a conversation about death with dignity and a family history of suicide. Is there a room in your life that you still go back to? Jennifer Griffith was 13 when her mom told her she had a brother, and when her dad told her he did not want to be there anymore. Neither conversation was ever talked about again. So she learned to carry it quietly and to be the grown-up in the house. That kind of silence follows a person. It followed her through eighteen years in technology sales and a lot of years dabbling at the book she always wanted to write. Then her father, near the end of his life, told her that life just went so fast. Jennifer was 42. She let go of her career, gave herself ten years, and started writing her mother's story and her own, threaded together. It took five years to write and two more to sell. This is a warm and honest conversation about shame, family stories, and what happens when you finally let what is inside of you out. We talk about the mother she wanted to honor, the father she came to understand, and the 13 year old she still walks out of that room. If you have been waiting for permission, I hope you hear a little of it here. What You'll Hear A mother's secret and a father's announcement in the same living room at 13 Taking on the grown-up role when the adults in the room had left A father's last words, and why they landed when they did Why shame cannot live in the light Five years to write a book, two more to sell it, and a podcast built in between Walking her 13 year old self out onto a sunny deck Guest Bio: Jennifer Griffith spent eighteen years in technology sales before following a deathbed conversation with her father into the work she was always meant to do. She spent a decade writing, rewriting, navigating rejection, and building a platform from scratch before landing her debut book, Both Sides of Then with Regalo Press. In doing so, she discovered that the skill that made her exceptional at helping her team develop their sales careers was exactly the skill driving her work as an author and speaker: the ability to find the real story underneath the one someone is presenting. She brings that discovery to every stage she steps onto. Website: www.byjennifergriffith.com Book: Both Sides of Then Instagram: @byjennifergriffith LinkedIn: byjennifergriffith Podcast: About Your Mother Listen and follow: www.thelifeshiftpodcast.com/follow Subscribe to the newsletter: https://thelifeshiftpodcast.beehiiv.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever carried something you were handed, a belief, a role, a way of seeing yourself, and wondered how much of it was ever really yours? Margaret was born in an old hotel in Switzerland, into a community that believed giving yourself fully could change the world. She grew up traveling with it, acting in plays, and living in community, and she slowly learned to quiet her own dreams. She wanted to be a doctor and could not say so out loud. Years later, riding a bike down a hill in Oxford, she knew her questions would not be answered until she left. It took three more years, a medical crisis, and a father who finally understood. At 35, she loaded up a little blue Plymouth and drove to Boston with no template. This is a gentle and honest conversation about silence, belonging, and what love looks like once you see a person as they really are. Margaret speaks about what she left with respect and honesty, and she stays curious about what it gave her. If you have ever had to start over without a map, I hope you feel a little less alone here. What You'll Hear Growing up in a community that believed it could change the world The doctor she wanted to be, and the courage she did not yet have A bike ride in Oxford and the moment leaving became a real option Three more years of staying, and the father who finally understood Driving to Boston at 35 with no template and no one to tell her who she was What she learned about love from a husband very different from her Guest Bio Margaret Eastman Smith is the author of the new book A Spectacular Inheritance: What I Kept and What I Left Behind. She currently serves as the Director of the Program on Trauma Healing and Community Resilience for the Institute of World Affairs, a Washington, DC-based NGO. She served on the faculty of American University's Program on International Peace and Conflict Resolution for nearly two decades. Her academic work focuses on the role of history and memory in divided societies, as well as grassroots approaches to peacebuilding. She pursued counseling studies to gain a greater understanding of these matters. Website: www.margareteastmansmith.com Listen and follow: https://www.thelifeshiftpodcast.com/follow/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=shownotes&utm_campaign=ep296 Subscribe to the newsletter: https://thelifeshiftpodcast.beehiiv.com/ You Might Also Like: Identity: More Than the Thing You're Known For Reclamation: Coming Back To The Girl Who Got Shut Down starting over at 35, leaving a movement, Moral Re-Armament, growing up in a movement, finding your own voice, walking away from the only life you know, what to keep and what to leave, midlife reinvention, memoir, family inheritance Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever wondered what you would say if someone you love told you they were ready to go? Most of us put that conversation off, and it waits for us anyway. Oliver spent about twenty years far from Switzerland, in Japan, the UK and Australia. He came home for one year, and stayed when his father's health began to decline. He and his mother grew closer than they had ever been. Then one afternoon, over a cup of tea, she told him it was time. He had known for years, and in that moment it felt real for the first time. He said yes, and he walked beside her through a chosen, conscious ending. This is a warm and honest conversation about love, letting go, and a mother and son finally getting to know each other. There are tears, gratitude, and a surprising amount of lightness. If death is something you are afraid to talk about, I hope this feels like a gentle place to begin. What You'll Hear Why Oliver left Switzerland and what finally brought him home Twenty years of keeping his mother at arm's length, and the hug that ended it The afternoon over tea when she said it was time What it means to complete a life rather than end it The small layers of letting go, from skiing to her favorite soup Why the conversations before the end can free everyone in the room Guest Bio Oliver Christen grew up in a small Swiss town. After graduating from business school and completing his service as an officer, he left Switzerland to expand his horizons and see the world. Over the next two decades, Oliver travelled extensively, experienced different cultures, built businesses across four continents, and immersed himself in meditative practice. For several years, he performed with a spiritual theatre company at renowned festivals across Asia and Europe. Eventually, he returned to Switzerland as a dual Swiss/Australian citizen to be closer to his parents, bringing with him his international family. With no prior experience in assisted dying, he relied on intuition, presence, and a handful of careful conversations and research to support and witness his mother's intentional end of life. Friends deeply moved by his mother's final journey encouraged Oliver to write As She Chose. Today, Oliver lives near Zürich. As She Chose is his first book, available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Goodreads. Website: www.choosingtogo.com Social: @oliverchristen Listen and follow: https://www.thelifeshiftpodcast.com/follow/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=shownotes&utm_campaign=ep295 Subscribe to the newsletter: https://thelifeshiftpodcast.beehiiv.com/ You Might Also Like: Grief: Making Something Beautiful From What Broke The Complexity of Grief After Losing a Brother in Childhood supporting a dying parent, end of life conversations, letting go, grief and acceptance, mother and son, conscious dying, living will, peaceful death, fear of death, family caregiving Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices