The MedLife Support Podcast

Welcome to Episode 47: Suck It Up, Buttercup: Burnout, Betrayal, and the Fight to Change Healthcare with Todd Otten, MD Why physician burnout is not a personal failure—and what it will take to rebuild trust in healthcare What happens when "suck it up" stops being a phrase and becomes the culture of medicine? Todd Otten, MD, FAAFP, knows what it is like to reach the far end of physician burnout. After more than two decades in medicine, he found himself angry, depleted, disconnected, and sitting in his backyard in tears over a career he had once loved. His experience eventually became part of a much larger mission: exposing the forces within healthcare that are hurting clinicians, families, organizations, and the patients they are supposed to serve. In this episode of The MedLife Support Podcast, Dr. Lisa sits down with Todd, a board-certified family physician, former Naval flight surgeon, author, healthcare advocate, and executive producer of the documentary Suck It Up, Buttercup: Trust and Betrayal – Healthcare in America. Todd shares how his own experience with burnout pushed him to confront a culture that taught physicians to compartmentalize pain, work harder, ask for less, and keep going—often long after something has begun to break. He also explains why another book, lecture, or professional presentation was not enough. Film offered an opportunity to take the conversation outside the walls of medicine and show a much broader audience what is actually happening inside the American healthcare system. The conversation moves beyond burnout itself and into some of the forces Todd believes are driving the dysfunction: corporate medicine, private equity, prior authorizations, administrative burden, loss of physician autonomy, financial incentives, moral injury, and a system that too often prioritizes money over people. But this is not simply a conversation about what is wrong with healthcare. Todd and Lisa also explore what happens when the wounds of medicine come home. Burnout may begin in the workplace, but its effects do not remain there. Todd speaks candidly about how his own stress, compartmentalization, and emotional pain affected his marriage and family. He describes being physically present at family events while mentally somewhere else and acknowledges the healing that has had to happen inside his own relationships. As Todd puts it, "Connection mitigates trauma. Period." That connection—between physicians and spouses, clinicians and colleagues, healthcare leaders and the people doing the work—becomes one of the most important themes of the episode. Instead of expecting physicians to carry everything alone, Todd argues that medicine needs to normalize asking for help, talking about painful experiences, building safe support systems, and intervening before burnout becomes a crisis. The documentary ultimately carries two central calls to action: unlearn learned helplessness and build an impact network that values people over profits. Todd does not believe one documentary will fix American healthcare. He does believe millions of people can begin creating the kind of change medicine desperately needs by making smaller choices, asking better questions, telling the truth, and challenging the status quo. And sometimes that change begins with something remarkably simple: Ask someone if they are okay. In this episode, Lisa and Todd discuss: Todd's personal experience with severe physician burnout and what ultimately forced him to make a change Why the traditional culture of compartmentalization and "suck it up" medicine can become dangerous The story behind Suck It Up, Buttercup Why film can reach people that books, lectures, and professional conversations may never reach Private equity, prior authorization, administrative burden, corporate medicine, and other systemic pressures affecting healthcare Why financial decisions can create costly downstream consequences for clinicians, organizations, and patients How physician burnout crosses over into marriage and family life Why physicians sometimes avoid talking to their spouses because they do not want to become a "burden" The role connection, vulnerability, therapy, colleagues, family, and community can play in healing What healthcare could look like if the Quadruple Aim truly guided decision-making Why meaningful change requires people to move from frustration to action The surprisingly powerful first step anyone can take when someone around them may be struggling Todd's advice for physicians who are beginning to feel the "smolderings" of burnout Why practicing gratitude and learning to say no remain essential even while healthcare itself needs systemic change About Todd Otten, MD, FAAFP Todd R. Otten, MD, FAAFP, is a board-certified family physician, husband, father, decorated former Naval flight surgeon, author, healthcare advocate, and executive producer. He has more than 20 years of experience providing patient care and leading teams in multiple healthcare settings, including service in the United States Navy, where he was named Atlantic Fleet Naval Flight Surgeon of the Year in 2006. He is the co-author of Ripple of Change, which chronicles his experience with burnout and healthcare dysfunction while challenging clinicians and patients to become agents of positive disruption. Todd serves as Lead Catalyst and Board Chair for Medicine Forward and currently sees patients with Plum Health Direct Primary Care in Lansing, Michigan. He is also an executive producer of Suck It Up, Buttercup: Trust and Betrayal – Healthcare in America, a documentary examining the dysfunction, human cost, and possibilities for meaningful change within American healthcare. Connect with Todd Suck It Up, Buttercup: Trust and Betrayal – Healthcare in America Ripple of Change LinkedIn Medicine Forward Plum Health DPC Connect with Dr. Lisa The MedLife Matrix Website   Mastering the MedLife Matrix Course Waitlist Dissertation Research: Physician Burnout and the Marital Relationship: Spouse Perspective Instagram: @themedlifematrix and @themedlifesupportpodcast LinkedIn Facebook  

Burnout can make everything feel too big: the inbox, the unfinished charts, the patient messages, the schedule, the family logistics, and even the idea of changing anything. But meaningful change does not always require a dramatic exit from medicine or a complete overhaul of your life. In Episode 46 of The MedLife Support Podcast, Dr. Lisa sits down with Diane Shannon, MD, MPH, a former primary care physician, physician coach, speaker, and advocate for physician well-being, to explore what happens when medicine starts to feel unsustainable—and why small, intentional changes can create more movement than physicians often expect. Diane shares her own experience of extreme burnout during residency, a time when burnout was rarely named and she could not see a model for the kind of life she wanted. She ultimately left clinical practice and later realized there was a name for what she had experienced. Looking back, one of the lessons she wishes she had understood earlier is deceptively simple: physicians are human beings. Sleep, food, movement, relationships, social connection, and life outside medicine are not optional extras; sacrificing them indefinitely carries a cost. The conversation also examines the particular pressure facing women physicians. Diane and Lisa discuss the invisible cognitive load at home—the appointments, camps, groceries, schedules, planning, and constant remembering that keep a household functioning—alongside rising productivity demands, after-hours charting, patient portal messages, and uncompensated work. When both professional and domestic loads remain largely invisible, the result can be an exhausting double shift. Importantly, this episode does not reduce physician burnout to an individual responsibility problem. Diane is clear that system drivers require system solutions, organizational advocacy, and leadership change. At the same time, physicians can still identify areas where they have agency. Her approach is to break frustrations into the smallest possible first step, treat change as an experiment, and use the result as information rather than proof of failure. Lisa and Diane also go beneath workflow into the thinking patterns that can make high-achieving physicians especially vulnerable: perfectionism, people pleasing, avoidance, and a harsh inner critic. The same traits that help someone survive medical training can become liabilities when there is no 'volume control.' Sustainable careers require learning where those strengths are useful and where they need to be turned down. For medical couples and families, the conversation becomes especially practical. Diane recommends creating an intentional transition between work and home, even if it is only a few minutes to change clothes, breathe, or sit quietly before stepping into the next role. Lisa adds that the spouse may need a transition too. Both partners can arrive at the end of the day depleted, and connection is easier when the family stops assuming one person should instantly absorb the other person's stress. The episode closes with a broader question that medicine rarely leaves time to ask: What do you actually want your life to look like? Physicians are exceptionally good at delayed gratification, but the habit of postponing life can continue long after training ends. Diane's own decision to learn to surf in her 50s becomes a reminder that high achievers do not have to be good at everything they try—and that play, novelty, and imperfection can expand a life that has become too narrow. This is a conversation about burnout, but it is also about agency, identity, relationships, leadership, and the possibility of building a career in medicine that leaves enough of you left over to have a life. In This Episode, You'll Hear About ·       Why Diane left clinical practice after experiencing severe burnout and what she wishes she had recognized earlier. ·       Why the culture of self-sacrifice in medical training can make ordinary human needs feel negotiable. ·       How the invisible cognitive load at home compounds the professional burden carried by women physicians. ·       Why burnout requires system-level change while physicians can still reclaim agency in specific areas. ·       How microchanges turn overwhelming problems into manageable experiments. ·       The role of perfectionism, people pleasing, avoidance, and the harsh inner critic in physician burnout. ·       Why transitions between work and home matter for physicians, spouses, and children. ·       What healthcare leaders can do to help physicians feel respected, valued, heard, and supported. ·       Why physician well-being is a retention, access, quality, and business issue for healthcare organizations. ·       How delayed gratification can quietly become delayed living—and why physicians need to define success beyond the next career milestone. Guest Bio Diane Shannon, MD, is a former primary care physician, physician coach, speaker, and internationally recognized advocate for physician well-being. After experiencing extreme burnout during residency and later leaving clinical practice, she built a career examining and addressing the conditions that make healthcare work unsustainable. Diane spent approximately two decades in healthcare writing, focusing on what works, what does not, and how healthcare systems can become less frustrating and more effective. She co-authored a 2016 book about preventing physician burnout and now works primarily with women physicians, helping them build sustainable careers while addressing issues such as perfectionism, people pleasing, burnout, leadership, and work-life design. She is also the creator of a TEDx talk exploring the power of microchanges and is developing Lead Your Way Leadership Academy, a program designed to help women physicians build leadership skills while creating careers they can sustain. Connect with Diane Shannon, MD, MPH Website: dianeshannon.com LinkedIn: Diane Shannon, MD  TEDx Talk: Riding the waves: Lessons from surfing to beat burnout Lead Your Way Leadership Academy Diane's Book: Preventing Physician Burnout   Resources Mentioned in the Show Take the Burnout Risk Assessment Quiz for Physicians and their Spouses Get on the Waitlist for the Mastering The MedLife Matrix Course Strong Ground by Brené Brown Atomic Habits by James Clear The Burnout Challenge: Managing People's Relationships with Their Jobs by Christina Maslach Episode 17: Perfectionism in Medical Families: Breaking the Pressure to Be Flawless with Amna Shabbir, MD    Follow Dr. Lisa on Social Media Instagram: @themedlifematrix and @themedlifesupportpodcast Facebook: The MedLife Matrix and The MedLife Support Podcast Website: www.themedlifematrix.com  

Physician families spend their lives surrounded by expertise, responsibility, achievement, and caregiving. But none of those things makes a family immune from heartbreak at home. Estrangement from an adult child is one of those experiences many families carry quietly. And while we may imagine estrangement as a complete cutoff, disconnection often happens gradually: conversations become shorter, contact becomes less frequent, emotional distance grows, or an adult child asks for space. For parents, that shift can bring a particular kind of heartbreak—the grief of losing a relationship with someone who is still very much alive. In this episode of The MedLife Support Podcast, Dr. Lisa talks with Sally Harris, an expert and coach for mothers navigating difficult or estranged relationships with their adult children. Sally knows this experience personally. After walking through nearly a decade of difficulty with her own daughter, she turned what she learned through estrangement, personal healing, and eventual reconciliation into work supporting other mothers facing similar circumstances. Together, Lisa and Sally explore the complicated territory between accountability and self-blame. Parents absolutely need to reflect on their role in a relationship—but estrangement does not automatically mean a parent was terrible, uncaring, or solely responsible for what happened. They also examine something particularly relevant to physician and other high-achieving families: how years of long work hours, divided attention, caregiving pressure, unspoken expectations, and simply trying to keep a family functioning can shape the way both parents and children experience connection. Professional success does not exempt a family from relational pain. A white coat cannot prevent grief. Financial resources cannot repair every relationship. And being skilled at caring for patients does not necessarily make the relationships inside our own homes easier to understand. In this episode: What estrangement actually means—and why it isn't always complete no-contact How emotional distance can develop slowly between parents and children Why a child's perception of childhood may differ from a parent's intentions The ambiguous grief parents experience when an adult-child relationship changes What happens when motherhood and caregiving become deeply tied to identity How high-pressure careers and limited emotional bandwidth can affect family connection How to distinguish healthy self-reflection from years of guilt and self-condemnation Why repeatedly pursuing a child who has asked for space may create more distance What Sally means by making "soft contact" Why listening may matter more than explaining or defending The role boundaries, expectations, communication, and adult autonomy can play in family relationships Why financial resources cannot solve relational disconnection How parents can care for themselves while they wait Why reconciliation requires two willing and emotionally capable people What rebuilding trust can look like when an adult child returns How healing can occur even before the relationship itself is repaired One of the most important distinctions in this episode is that taking responsibility is not the same thing as assuming responsibility for everything. Parents can examine what they wish they had done differently. They can apologize when necessary. They can become better listeners. They can respect boundaries. And they can learn to relate to their adult child as another adult. But they cannot single-handedly create reconciliation. As Sally explains from both her professional work and her own experience, sometimes the most important work happens while a parent is waiting: rebuilding self-worth, addressing shame and resentment, caring for physical and emotional health, and creating a life that is not entirely dependent upon what happens next in the relationship. And if reconciliation does happen? The goal may not be one dramatic conversation or the perfect apology. Sometimes it is something quieter: Trust rebuilt over time. About Sally Harris Sally Harris helps moms navigating estrangement and difficult relationships with their adult children find emotional healing and renewed hope through faith. After walking her own ten-year journey toward reconciliation with her daughter, Sally now guides other moms to stop struggling to control outcomes and start trusting God with the process — so they can reclaim their peace, whatever the outcome looks like. Drawing from personal experience and over 7 years of coaching hundreds of women, her mission is to create spaces of transformation, wisdom, and honest support. Connect With Sally Website: Sally Harris Coaching https://www.sally-harris.com/ Free EmpowerMom Quiz: Available through Sally's website Podcast: The Reconciled Relationships Podcast Instagram: @sallyharriscoach YouTube: Sally Harris Coach / The Sally Harris Show Coaching, programs, and support: https://www.sally-harris.com/ Connect with Dr. Lisa Instagram: @themedlifematrix and @themedlifesupportpodcast Website: www.themedlifematrix.com Take the Burnout Risk Assessment Quiz   Listener Note This episode includes discussion of family estrangement, grief, addiction, mental health struggles, and relational loss. If this conversation brings up strong emotions or personal concerns, consider reaching out to a trusted therapist, counselor, or mental health professional. In the United States, you can call or text 988 for immediate crisis support.

What exactly is the AMA Alliance—and what does it offer physician families today? For more than a century, Alliance organizations have brought physician families together around a shared commitment to educate, advocate, and connect. Yet as medicine and medical families continue to change, so does the role of the Alliance. In this special multi-voice episode of The MedLife Support Podcast, Dr. Lisa  brings together leaders from across the American Medical Association Alliance (AMA Alliance) for an inside look at the organization, the physician families it serves, and where it is headed next. Whether you have been part of the Alliance for decades, have heard the name but aren't quite sure what the organization does today, or are discovering the Alliance for the first time, this episode explores why this community continues to matter throughout every stage of life in medicine. You'll hear how the AMA Alliance's core values come to life through: EDUCATE The Alliance provides physician families with information, programming, and resources designed specifically for the realities of life in medicine. Sheridan Sheffield shares the role of Physician Family Magazine, The Link newsletter, and other communications that help members stay informed and connected. Lori Boies, PhD, discusses findings from the Physician Family Experience Survey and how the Alliance is using what physician families are telling us to shape educational programming, including the new Physician Family Wellness Series and upcoming All-Member Calls. Ann Sanford introduces the Alliance Health Education Initiative (AHEI) and the educational and grant opportunities helping Alliance members create healthier communities across the country. Dr. Lisa also steps into her role as Director of Programs to share how research and member needs are informing new resources, including the developing AMA Alliance Self-Care Toolkit, which takes a broader look at well-being across multiple areas of physician family life. ADVOCATE Physician families have a perspective that matters—not only to medicine, but to the healthcare system and the communities it serves. Jenny Shepherd, Director of Legislation and Advocacy, describes herself as an "accidental advocate" and challenges the assumption that advocacy requires political expertise, extensive travel, or hours spent studying policy. Instead, advocacy can begin with your own experience, your relationships, and a willingness to speak up about the issues affecting physicians, patients, families, and communities. You'll also hear how data from the Physician Family Experience Survey can help give physician families a stronger voice by putting evidence—and real stories—behind the challenges medical families experience. CONNECT Again and again, one theme rises above nearly everything else in this episode: community. Brian Case, Director of Membership, explains why the relationships created through the Alliance remain one of its greatest benefits and why connecting physician families early in the medical journey can be especially valuable. AMA Alliance President, Dinah Goldenberg, brings the conversation together by sharing her vision for the Alliance's future: an organization that listens to physician families, evolves alongside them, and becomes a trusted support network for spouses, partners, families, and physicians themselves. Physician families may live in different communities, specialties, career stages, and family circumstances, but many of the realities of MedLife are remarkably familiar. Sometimes simply finding people who understand makes a difference. In This Episode, You'll Hear About The role of local, state, and national Alliance organizations Why physician family community matters AMA Alliance membership and opportunities for involvement Complimentary membership opportunities during the medical training years Physician Family Magazine and Alliance communications The Physician Family Experience Survey The Physician Family Wellness Series All-Member Calls and educational programming Advocacy opportunities for physician spouses and partners The Alliance Health Education Initiative and community grants The developing AMA Alliance Self-Care Toolkit How research is helping guide the future of the Alliance Why connection and belonging continue to matter in physician family life Featured AMA Alliance Leaders Brian Case — Director of Membership Brian discusses membership, community, connection, and why physician families don't have to go through MedLife alone. Sheridan Sheffield — Communications Sheridan shares how the AMA Alliance uses Physician Family Magazine, The Link, and other communications to educate and connect physician families. Lori Boies, PhD — Director of Events and Chair of the Physician Family Experience Survey Writing Team Lori explains what the latest research is teaching the Alliance about physician families and how those findings are shaping future programming. Jenny Shepherd — Director of Legislation and Advocacy Jenny shares why advocacy is more accessible than many people realize and how physician families can use their experiences to make a meaningful difference. Ann Sanford — Chair, Alliance Health Education Initiative (AHEI) Ann explains how AHEI's educational programs and grants help Alliance members translate ideas into healthier communities. Lisa Muehlenbein, PhD — Director of Programs Dr. Lisa shares how AMA Alliance programs are being developed around the changing needs of physician families, including the developing Self-Care Toolkit. Dinah Goldenberg — President, AMA Alliance Dinah discusses the future of the organization and its commitment to listening, evolving, and remaining relevant to today's physician families. Learn More American Medical Association Alliance www.amaalliance.org Follow the AMA Alliance on social media: @amaalliance Visit the AMA Alliance website to learn more about membership options, including the FREE membership for the sposues/partners of medical students, residents, fellows, as well as resources, programming, and Alliance organizations across the country. If you know another physician spouse, partner, physician, or medical family who could benefit from learning more about this community, share this episode with them. And be sure to subscribe to The MedLife Support Podcast so you never miss your dose of MedLife Support. Connect with Dr. Lisa: Website: www.themedlifematrix.com Instagram: @themedlifematrix and @themedlifesupportpodcast Click HERE to get on the waitlist for the Mastering the MedLife Matrix Course. Take the FREE Burnout Risk Assessment Quiz for Physicians and their Spouses 

Dr. Cassie Burton Greenbaum on physician loneliness, friendship, belonging, burnout, and why meaningful connection matter A physician can spend all day surrounded by people and still feel profoundly alone. For women physicians—especially physician mothers—that loneliness can be surprisingly difficult to recognize. Their days may be filled with patients, colleagues, children, partners, and endless responsibilities. Yet being surrounded by people is not the same as having relationships where you feel deeply known, understood, and supported. In this episode of The MedLife Support Podcast, Dr. Lisa talks with pediatric critical care physician Dr. Cassie Burton Greenbaum, founder of Off Service Mom Co., about the friendship gap hiding inside medicine. Cassie shares the personal realization that eventually changed the way she thought about her own well-being. After more than a decade in medicine, several moves, marriage, motherhood, and a demanding medical career, she reached a point when life felt incredibly heavy—and realized she did not have anyone she could simply call to vent, ask for advice, or talk honestly about what she was carrying.  At work, she could almost feel her "physician mom armor" click into place. She could compartmentalize, perform, care for patients, and keep going. But the loneliness followed her home. Cassie describes becoming disconnected from her husband, struggling to remain present with her daughter, and feeling as though she was no longer functioning in any of her roles the way she wanted to. She also explains how years of training, motherhood, professional expectations, and role overload can gradually cause a woman's sense of self to fade beneath all the identities she is expected to carry.  Together, Cassie and Dr. Lisa explore why medicine can make loneliness especially difficult to admit, why collegial relationships cannot fully replace friendship, and why spouses and partners were never meant to become a physician's entire emotional support system. Cassie also identifies three major barriers physician moms face when trying to build meaningful friendships: Limited bandwidth Fear of emotional risk Container scarcity Adult life no longer provides the automatic proximity and repeated interaction many physicians experienced during college, medical school, residency, or fellowship. Friendship must become more intentional—at exactly the stage of life when time and energy are in shortest supply.  That experience led Cassie to create Off Service Mom Co., a curated friendship-matching membership that personally pairs physician moms based on life stage, schedule compatibility, friendship style, aligned values, and barriers to connection. This conversation also examines the larger implications of social isolation for physician well-being, burnout, marriage, motherhood, and career sustainability. Because friendship is not simply something physicians should pursue when every other responsibility has finally been handled. Connection may be part of what allows them to keep carrying those responsibilities in the first place. And as Cassie warns: "One day you will look up and need a community and realize that you forgot to build one." In This Episode Why women physicians can feel lonely despite being surrounded by people Why loneliness is especially difficult for highly self-sufficient physicians to recognize Cassie's experience with her "physician mom armor" How loneliness can affect marriage, motherhood, and presence at home The gradual loss of identity beneath multiple demanding roles Why collegial relationships cannot fully replace deep friendship Why spouses should not have to become a physician's entire support system The relationship between social isolation, burnout, and career sustainability The three barriers physician moms face when building friendships Why adult friendships require intentionality, vulnerability, and reciprocity How Off Service Mom Co. helps physician mothers build meaningful connection Why community cannot continually be postponed until life becomes less busy In this episode, Cassie shared that the next Off Service Mom Co. cohort is scheduled to begin October 1, with additional information available on her website. Please visit her website (listed below) for more information on joining the next cohort. Guest Bio: Cassie Burton Greenbaum, MD Dr. Cassie Burton Greenbaum is a pediatric critical care physician in Albuquerque, New Mexico. After more than a decade in medicine and several cross-country moves, she found herself surrounded by colleagues and family but without the deep friendships she needed to sustain her. That realization led her to found Off Service Mom Co., a curated friendship-matching membership that personally pairs physician moms with someone who understands their season of life so that exhaustion, unpredictable schedules, and years of putting friendship last don't have to be the reason they stay lonely. Cassie's goal is to help physician moms stop treating connection as a luxury and start treating it as the infrastructure that makes a fulfilling career and life possible.  Guest Links Website: offservicemomco.com LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drcassieburton/ Instagram: @drcassieburton Facebook: Cassie Burton Greenbaum   For more episodes of The MedLife Support Podcast that discuss issues of loneliness and the importance of community in physician families, please check out: Episode 13 Loneliness in Medical Families: Why Connection Matters More Than Ever | Emily Kent, PhD Episode 14 Community as Care- Why Physician Families Need Community, Not Just Coping | Elizabeth Landry Episode 25 The Hidden Loneliness No One Talks About in Medical Families | Dr. James Ellis (@lonelinessdoctor)   To learn more about Dr. Lisa and The MedLife Matrix, vist: www.themedlifematrix.com Be sure to connect with Dr. Lisa and the podcast on Instagram: @themedlifematrix @themedlifesupportpodcast