Kids Like Ours

In the first episode of The Village Series, Heather Laing shares her family’s story, including the realities of parenting a child with autism and ADHD that she never expected and the support that helped her family find a better path forward. She also talks about how her experience as both a parent and an HR leader opened her eyes to the gaps in workplace support for parents of kids with complex need, and how she’s working to change that for other families.Connect with HeatherHeather Laing on LinkedInFollow Heather as she shares her experience as a parent and her work advocating for better support for families.Complex Caregiver SolutionsLearn more about Heather’s work helping employers better support employees caring for children with complex needs.Heather’s parenting season song pickDog Days Are Over — Florence + The MachineTerms mentionedPDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance / Pervasive Drive for Autonomy)Terms used to describe a profile associated with an intense need for autonomy and difficulty tolerating everyday demands. Recognition and terminology vary, and PDA is not currently a standalone diagnosis in the DSM-5-TR in the United States.IEP (Individualized Education Program)A formal plan under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) for eligible students with disabilities who need special education and related services. An IEP outlines the student’s needs, goals, services, and supports at school.ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) TherapyAn approach to understanding and changing behavior that is sometimes used as a therapy for autistic children. Approaches and goals vary, and families have different experiences with ABA.Co-regulationThe process of helping a child regulate their emotions through a calm, supportive connection with another person. Rather than expecting children to manage overwhelming emotions alone, co-regulation involves adults modeling and supporting emotional regulation until those skills develop.Three-Legged Stool of SupportThe three areas of support discussed in the episode: medication management, school support, and parenting strategies.We are not experts — just parents sharing what we’re learning in real time. If any of these terms are new to you, you’re not alone. We’re learning too.

Bridgette and Molly are joined by Meryl Duguay, a former special education teacher and founder of Duguay Educational Consulting & Advocacy, to talk about navigating schools when your child needs more support. Together they explore what parents should know when requesting an evaluation or IEP, what to do when a school pushes back, and how to advocate for your child while maintaining a productive relationship with the school team. They also talk about choosing a school for kids like ours, why test scores and rankings don't tell the whole story, and what parents should actually be looking for in a school environment.Connect with MerylDuguay Educational Consulting & Advocacy Special education advocacy and consulting for families navigating IEPs, evaluations, school supports, and the special education system. Meryl works with families across the U.S. and offers an initial 30-minute consultation through her website.Meryl’s parenting season song picks:Sierra Ferrell - YearsMeryl chose Sierra Ferrell’s cover of “Years” because of how quickly her kids are growing up — and because of the complicated feeling of watching them reach new milestones while wishing you could slow time down. Noah Kahan - You’re Gonna Go FarInspired by a recent Noah Kahan concert — and by the fact that both of Meryl’s kids had recently learned to buckle their own seatbelts. Additional Resources MentionedThe Arc of ColoradoMeryl shared The Arc as a resource for families looking for advocacy support in Colorado. The Arc has chapters throughout Colorado, with local chapters providing advocacy services for children and adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities. AdvocacyDenverA Colorado nonprofit that provides advocacy services for children and teens with disabilities and their families, including child advocacy and special education legal support. Meryl specifically mentioned AdvocacyDenver as a resource in the Denver area. Terms referenced:IEP (Individualized Education Program)A formal plan that outlines the special education services, supports, accommodations, and measurable goals a student needs to access education. Meryl emphasized that an IEP is a living document and that parents are meaningful members of the IEP team.Child FindA school district's responsibility to identify, locate, and evaluate students who may need special education services. Meryl discussed Child Find in the context of schools identifying students who may qualify for support, as well as parents' right to make a referral themselves.Procedural safeguardsThe rights and protections available to families throughout the special education process. Meryl encouraged parents to understand their procedural safeguards and know what recourse is available if they disagree with a school's evaluation or decisions.Prior Written NoticeDocumentation from a school explaining when it proposes or refuses to initiate or change the identification, evaluation, educational placement, or provision of a free appropriate public education for a child with a disability. Meryl discussed the importance of having decisions and refusals documented rather than relying on verbal conversations.Compensatory educationServices or other remedies that may be available when a student did not receive services they were entitled to under special education law. Meryl discussed this in the context of students whose needs were identified later than they should have been.A note from us: We are not experts in special education law, and this episode is not legal advice. Special education rules and processes can vary by state, so use the resources available in your own state and seek qualified guidance when needed.

The second episode of this two-part series brings Molly’s wife, Rachael, onto the podcast. She shares what it has been like to raise Molly’s son as her own, eventually adopting him, while building a family that looks very different from the one she grew up in. She and Molly talk about their different parenting styles, what happens when those differences show up in difficult moments, and the value of having people around who truly understand what it means to parent a kid like ours.Rachel's parenting season song pick: Hayley Williams – Kill MeTerms referenced:Three-legged stoolThe three areas of support discussed in the episode: medication management, school support, and parenting strategies.ParentificationWhen children take on responsibilities that belong to adults, including managing an adult’s emotions or caring for younger siblings.Peer supportConnecting with people who have lived through similar experiences and can understand what you’re going through from the inside.We are not experts — just parents sharing what we're learning in real time. If any of these terms are new to you, you're not alone. We're learning too.

This episode kicks off a two-part series where Bridgette and Molly bring their spouses onto the podcast — starting with Bridgette's husband, Mark. He talks about how different parenting turned out to be from what he imagined, the mental load that caught him off guard, and what it's taken for them to stay aligned as a couple when the usual playbook doesn't work. It's a look at partnership from the other side, and a reminder that raising kids like ours is a team effort.🎵 Fun fact: Mark is also the composer behind our podcast theme music!Mark's parenting season song pick:Rush – Time Stand StillReferenced in this episode:Our conversation with Kelsie Olds (Episode 7) — on the instinct to punish, and why it doesn't teach kids the skills they're actually missing.

What if the goal isn't to stop your kid's challenging behaviors, but to better understand them? In this episode, Kelsie Olds, an occupational therapist, writer behind The Occuplaytional Therapist, and author of Your Child's Point of View, joins the podcast to explain why curiosity works better than punishment, why "teach them a lesson" often means something harsher than we admit, and how to give ourselves the same grace we're trying to give our kids.  It's honest, practical, and occasionally a gut-check. Connect with KelsieThe Occuplaytional TherapistFeaturing Kelsie's writing on parenting, behavior, and occupational therapy.Kelsie on FacebookLong-form, story-driven posts on parenting and behavior.Kelsie's BookYour Child's Point of View: Understanding the Reasons Kids Do Unreasonable ThingsA one-page-at-a-time book reframing common parenting struggles from the child's perspective, with practical solutions and a bonus section on the parent's own inner child.Kelsie's parenting season song pick:Chris Patrick - Alley OopAdditional resources mentioned:The Explosive Child by Ross GreeneReferenced for its philosophy that kids do well if they can, and that challenging behavior often means a child is missing a skill needed to meet a demand.The Good Inside by Dr. Beck KennedyReferenced for her point about the mental health cost to a child who is consistently treated as "the bad kid."Terms referenced:Gestalt language learnerA language-development pattern where a child learns and communicates in whole memorized scripts, phrases, or songs before breaking them down into their own original speech.ProprioceptionThe sensory system responsible for body awareness and regulation; often a factor in why kids seek out physical actions like hitting, kicking, or throwing.Restorative justice vs. retributive justiceRestorative justice focuses on repairing harm and community; retributive justice focuses on punishment for its own sake.We are not experts — just parents sharing what we're learning in real time. If any of these terms are new to you, you're not alone. We're learning too.