LOVERS by Shan

Shaun Ross was the first professional male model with albinism, and in this conversation he tells Shan about the breakup he refuses to call a breakup, because he was never in the room for it. Two hours into an 11-hour flight home from Europe, he watched his partner leave on the home camera, and he later learned that plenty of people had known how his partner felt (everyone except him). Shan explains why the person who leaves has often finished grieving long before the other person finds out. Follow Shaun Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/shaunross/ TikTok → https://www.tiktok.com/@shaunross YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChwiHoKUsczyGJYmUOAV8Hw Want more Lover? Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Explore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I'm answering your comments on Via G's episode. Via G is a New Orleans creator (yes, the baby bangs) who spent her twenties moving from one 18-month relationship to the next, and the last one looked perfect on paper: he cooked, he could match her financially, and he carried the fatherly energy of a man who already knew how everything should be done. Her body figured it out before she did. Her cycle unraveled over the year they were together, and not long after she ended it (20 minutes and six seconds, start to finish) her hormone test came back with perfect scores. Via walks Shan through the slow disappearing act in between (the gray sweatpants, the running commentary on how she cut onions, a moment of coercion she didn't have language for until a friend named it), and then the year of saying yes to herself that followed: cutting her own bangs on camera, walking into pool parties alone to make girlfriends, and buying the Bronco she'd been talked out of. Shan offers a frame for why "daddy knows best" can feel like love when you grew up without one. This one is for anyone who has shrunk to fit someone and is ready to be loud again. Follow Via G Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mylifeasvia/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@_mylifeasvia_ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@MyLifeAsVia X: https://x.com/mylifeasvia All links: https://link.me/mylifeasvia Want more LOVERS? Follow Shan on Instagram → http://instagram.com/shanboodram Get free Lovers Letters from Shan → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Via G is a New Orleans creator (yes, the baby bangs) who spent her twenties moving from one 18-month relationship to the next, and the last one looked perfect on paper: he cooked, he could match her financially, and he carried the fatherly energy of a man who already knew how everything should be done. Her body figured it out before she did. Her cycle unraveled over the year they were together, and not long after she ended it (20 minutes and six seconds, start to finish) her hormone test came back with perfect scores. Via walks Shan through the slow disappearing act in between (the gray sweatpants, the running commentary on how she cut onions, a moment of coercion she didn't have language for until a friend named it), and then the year of saying yes to herself that followed: cutting her own bangs on camera, walking into pool parties alone to make girlfriends, and buying the Bronco she'd been talked out of. Shan offers a frame for why "daddy knows best" can feel like love when you grew up without one. This one is for anyone who has shrunk to fit someone and is ready to be loud again. _______  Showing some love to the sponsor of this episode Hollyood Ending. It is the book everyone will be talking about this fall. Buy Hollywood, Ending now wherever books are sold. Big shoutout to the sponsor of this episode Beducated. Unlock deeper pleasure with a roadmap designed for you — all it takes is 5 minutes. Go to https://beduc.at/bg2640-boody to learn more!  Ready to reach your goals? Visit forhers.com/shan to get personalized, affordable care that gets you. Follow Via G Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mylifeasvia/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@_mylifeasvia_ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@MyLifeAsVia X: https://x.com/mylifeasvia All links: https://link.me/mylifeasvia Want more LOVERS? Follow Shan on Instagram → http://instagram.com/shanboodram Get free Lovers Letters from Shan → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I'm answering your comments on Kendrick Sampson choosing freedom over romance, and you did not agree. When Kendrick Sampson (the actor you know from Insecure and How to Get Away with Murder, and the activist behind BLD PWR) sat down with me and said he cares about freedom more than romance, I had a feeling some of you would feel seen and some of you would feel personally called out, and the comments landed right down the middle. [One side heard someone finally say out loud that romantic love is only one kind of love worth building a life around, while the other side heard something that felt like permission to never fully choose anyone. CONFIRM against actual comments.] In this first episode of If It Don't Apply, Let It Fly, I'm reading the comments that split you and responding to them honestly, [including the ones that shifted how I think about the conversation and the ones I'm holding my ground on. CONFIRM against what Shan actually says]. If you walked away from Kendrick's episode feeling defensive, inspired, or stuck somewhere uncomfortable in between, this is for you, because the disagreement is where the real conversation was happening. Follow Kendrick Sampson Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kendrick38 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kendrick BLD PWR: https://bldpwr.com Want more LOVERS? Follow Shan on Instagram → http://instagram.com/shanboodram Get a free weekly Love Letter from Shan → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes ________________________ Advertising & Other Inquiries: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kendrick Sampson (founder of the racial justice nonprofit BLD PWR, actor best known as Nathan in Insecure and Quincy Jones in Michael Jackson's biopic) sits down with Shan to talk about loving widely. Kendrick grew up in a house where nobody said "I love you" after his parents divorced, so love turned into something you did instead of something you said. Love is choosing someone else's needs over your own wants. It's why he has no plan for a romantic relationship, why he separates sex, pleasure, and love into three completely different things, and why he'll tell you flat out that romantic love is actually the smallest, most narrow kind there is. His 25 nieces and nephews come first. If he ever has kids, he wants to raise them with a homegirl, no romance required, because the village already exists. This is a conversation about what happens when you stop assuming a partner is the endpoint, and start asking who you're actually accountable to. —-------  Showing some love to the sponsor of this episode Hollyood Ending. It is the book everyone will be talking about this fall. Buy Hollywood, Ending now wherever books are sold. Ready to reach your goals? Visit forhers.com/shan to get personalized, affordable care that gets you. Follow Kendrick Sampson Instagram: http://instagram.com/kendrick38 Follow BLD PWR Instagram: http://instagram.com/bldpwrYouTube: youtube.com/@buildpowertv  Want more LOVERS? Follow Shan on Instagram → http://instagram.com/shanboodram Get a Lovers Letters from Shan → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices