The Matrescence Project

When You Become a Mother, You’re Born Too You can prepare for birth, baby’s arrival, and the endless newborn essentials, but how do you prepare for the birth of you? If motherhood has left you anxious, overwhelmed, disconnected, or wondering why nobody warned you about this transformation, this conversation is for you. I speak with Emma from Empower Matrescence, a perinatal mental health nurse, birth debriefer, maternal and infant health researcher, and postnatal support practitioner. Emma shares how her own experience of breastfeeding struggles, extreme sleep deprivation, undiagnosed thyroid issues, and inadequate support revealed the gap between what mothers need and what the maternity system often provides.Together, we unpack: Why matrescence is a profound physical, emotional, psychological, cultural, systemic, and spiritual transition How the brain rewires for vigilance during pregnancy and postpartum, and when normal vigilance can become hypervigilance and anxiety The far-reaching effects of birth trauma on the nervous system, bonding, relationships, confidence, and help-seeking How sleep deprivation, birth experiences, nutrition, thyroid health, iron, vitamin D, and other contributing factors can compound perinatal mental health struggles Why values and identity can shift dramatically when you begin seeing the world through the lens of “we” instead of “me” Emma also explains why so many mothers fall into the gap between coping and crisis, where they are struggling deeply but do not qualify for the services designed for more severe mental health needs. Her story exposes what happens when mothers are blamed for their distress instead of being listened to, validated, and supported as whole people.This episode offers a compassionate reframe: you are not failing because motherhood feels harder than expected. You are moving through a major developmental transformation, often without the village, preparation, or care you deserve and need. And if life feels relentlessly difficult, reaching out for support is not weakness or evidence that you are a bad mother. It may be one of the bravest and most transformative things you do. Essential listening for expectant mothers, new mums, mothers processing a difficult birth, and anyone who wants a more honest and compassionate understanding of the journey into motherhood. If you would like to reach out to Emma personally, please visit her website: https://www.empowermatrescence.com  And as always, if you would like up to date information from The Matrescence Project, including the opportunity to send in your questions ahead of expert interviews then follow The Matrescence Project on Facebook or Instagram https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61575355774112 https://www.instagram.com/matrescence_project/   

Have you been planning your return to work after motherhood, but now feel a little lost about how to actually make it happen? Perhaps you had the itch to return to work, only to discover that when you did, something didn't quite fit anymore. Or maybe you're still itching to return to your career, but aren't sure what that should look like now that you're a mother. Whatever your relationship with work, career and motherhood, today's conversation with India Sutherland from India Sutherland Coaching is likely to speak to you. India experienced first-hand how matrescence can shift our identity, and how those changes can have profound implications for our careers, ambitions and the way we want to work. Like many mothers, she eventually left the corporate world and built a coaching business that allows her to work in a way that is much more aligned with her values, her family and the life she wants to create. In this conversation, India shares practical advice for mothers returning to work or navigating work after having children, including how to approach conversations with your employer, ask for the flexibility you need, and navigate the realities of sick children, school and daycare commitments, pickups and the many unexpected demands of family life. But we also go deeper. Because sometimes a difficult daycare or school drop-off—when your little person is clinging to your leg and begging you not to leave—can leave you wondering: Is this really what I want to be doing? How can I make this work better? What do I actually value? And perhaps most importantly: What do my family and I actually need from the way we structure our lives? Because our values aren't simply a buzzword. As we move through matrescence and motherhood, our values can become clearer, shift or feel increasingly difficult to ignore. And when the way we're living and working feels out of alignment with those values, we can feel the consequences. This is a conversation about motherhood and identity, returning to work, career change after having children, workplace flexibility, family needs and finding a way of working that feels more congruent with the woman you've become. If you'd like to hear more from India or learn more about her coaching and how she supports mothers, you can find her through her website, Instagram and Substack below: https://indiasutherland.com https://www.instagram.com/indiasutherland.coaching?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsi=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw== https://substack.com/@indiasutherlandcoaching Topics discussed: matrescence, motherhood identity, returning to work after motherhood, career after motherhood, working mothers, career change, workplace flexibility, values, motherhood and career, Australian mothers, flexible work.      

Are you on maternity leave or planning your return to work transition? Have you recently returned but feel different, changed, or like you are not performing in the same way?  According to Mothered Magazine’s editor-in-chief, TEDx speaker, author and award-winning workplace culture innovator, Alexa Starks, mums often do feel a difference in their performance - but for the better. If you need the evidence to help you understand the change or perhaps the language to explain it to others then this conversation is for you.  Alexa also discusses what workplaces can do from a systemic perspective to better support mothers returning to work after maternity leave, and how this is in fact in their best interests as well as yours.  We also discuss the long-overdue and much-needed change in the narrative of mothers, motherhood, and how awesome this real-life experience actually is for our leadership skills.  If you want to access the full report (and perhaps show it to your boss?) visit: https://www.motheredmagazine.com You can also check out Alexa Starks on Substack or Instagram.   In future, if you want the opportunity to send in your questions to the incredibly knowledgeable women who will be sharing their insight and expertise on this podcast in future episodes, be sure to follow along on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/matrescence_project/ or on The Matrescence Project's Facebook Page where I share the details before the interviews.  This is a podcast for all of us, so I want you to have the opportunity to have your questions answered!

Emily joins me from Canada to share her deeply honest journey through an unexpected path into motherhood. Together, we explore matrescence through multiple lenses—from the cultural and societal expectations placed on mothers to the deeply personal pressure so many women carry to become the elusive "good mother." With remarkable vulnerability, Emily reflects on how motherhood challenged the identity she had carefully presented to the world, and how the transition through matrescence ultimately led her to discover a version of herself that felt genuinely authentic for the first time. Our conversation also turns to the future. Emily shares the changes she hopes to see in the way society prepares, supports, and validates new parents, believing that a better understanding of matrescence has the power to transform the experience of motherhood for future generations. Although we discuss differences between pregnancy and postpartum care in Canada and Australia, one truth remains universal: no matter where a woman lives, becoming a mother is a profound psychological, emotional, and social transition. Matrescence knows no borders, yet too often women are expected to navigate this transformation without the understanding, language, or support they deserve. This conversation is a powerful reminder that while every mother's story is unique, the experience of becoming a mother is something that connects women across the world.

We prepare women for labour. We prepare them to feed a baby. We prepare them to keep a tiny human alive. But very few of us are prepared for what happens to us. In this bonus episode, I explore why understanding matrescence—the profound physical, emotional, psychological and social transition into motherhood—isn't simply empowering. It can be preventative. When mothers have language for what they're experiencing, they are better equipped to recognise when they need support, extend compassion to themselves, and navigate one of life's biggest transformations with greater confidence. And maybe most important of all - the language connects us with each other, helps us feel heard, validated and part of a community rather than alone.  This knowledge helps us embrace the changes and see how incredible our brain and body are, while really appreciating the beauty in those changes rather than trying to "bounce back".  This episode is inspired by my latest Substack essay, The Missing Language of Motherhood, and is a call to action. If this conversation resonates with you, please share it with one mother. Then encourage her to share it with another. Awareness spreads one conversation at a time, and together we can help ensure fewer women enter motherhood without the knowledge they deserve. Full Substack essay: https://substack.com/@thematrescenceproject