Why Do We Do That?

Can you really tell when someone is lying? Most of us believe we can spot deception through nervousness, body language, or a lack of eye contact—but the research tells a very different story.In this episode, I speak with deception researcher Dr. Tim Levine, author of Duped, about why people lie, how much lying actually occurs in everyday life, and why our natural tendency to trust others makes deception possible. We explore the difference between harmless white lies and pathological lying, the surprising science of lie detection, and why what people say is often more revealing than how they say it.KeywordsLying, deception, lie detection, truth-default theory, Tim Levine, pathological lying, white lies, honesty, body language, eye contact, trust, communication, psychologyIn this episode, you'll learn:Why lying is usually a means of accomplishing a communication goal rather than a goal in itself.Why most people lie relatively infrequently, while a small percentage account for a disproportionate number of lies.How pathological lying differs from frequent, situational dishonesty.Why we're naturally inclined to believe what other people tell us.Why eye contact, nervousness, and other popular lie-detection cues are unreliable.How context, evidence, and thoughtful questioning can improve our ability to recognize deception.Chapters00:00 — Introducing Dr. Tim Levine and the psychology of lying01:06 — Why do people lie?03:50 — Impression management and protecting our identities06:16 — The evolutionary foundations of honesty and deception08:45 — White lies, social harmony, and packaged honesty11:47 — The many motives behind deception15:07 — How often do people actually lie?20:29 — Prolific liars versus pathological liars29:02 — What's the difference between lying and bullshitting?31:34 — Truth-default theory: Why we believe others36:57 — Confirmation bias, group identity, and trust39:23 — Are we any good at detecting lies?45:45 — Why some people appear honest or dishonest48:13 — Better ways to recognize deception49:29 — The biggest myths about body language and lying51:20 — Nervousness, polygraphs, and false conclusionsGuest LinksWebsite: https://timothy-levine.squarespace.com/

Why do romance readers keep coming back to stories when they already know there's going to be a happy ending? In this episode, Sarah MacLean explores what makes romance novels so compelling, from yearning and familiar tropes to the emotional payoff of watching characters overcome impossible odds to find love. We also discuss how the genre has changed over the past 50 years, what romance can teach us about relationships and sexuality, and where we should be careful about confusing satisfying fiction with real life.Keywordsromance novels, psychology of romance, Sarah MacLean, relationships, love, romance tropes, enemies to lovers, happily ever after, yearning, sexuality, consent, fiction, relationship expectationsIn this episode, you'll learn:Why knowing there's a happy ending doesn't make romance novels less satisfyingWhat separates a romance novel from a love storyWhy conflict and yearning are essential ingredients in romanceWhy familiar tropes like "enemies to lovers" and "only one bed" are so compellingHow romance novels can provide joy, hope, representation, and a sense of possibilityHow the romance genre has evolved alongside changing cultural attitudesWhy relationships that work wonderfully in fiction might be terrible ideas in real lifeHow romance novels portray sex, pleasure, and consentWhether romance novels create unrealistic expectations about relationshipsWhy the genre continues to evolve even though the happily-ever-after ending stays the sameChapters00:00 What do readers get from romance novels?03:46 What makes a romance novel a romance novel?06:50 The psychology, joy, and hope behind romance10:31 How the modern romance novel began15:23 What makes a compelling romance story?17:36 Why yearning and struggle are more satisfying than happily ever after19:59 Why romance tropes work20:24 Enemies to lovers and the psychology of conflict24:56 Friends to lovers—and why Sarah doesn't love it30:28 Can romance novels inspire us in real life?34:42 When romance novels become bad relationship advice37:24 Are romance novels like pornography?38:42 Sex, pleasure, and consent in romance novels42:26 Do romance novels create unrealistic expectations?44:39 How romance writers stand out in a crowded genre47:21 How romance novels have evolvedGuest LinksWebsite — https://www.sarahmaclean.netBooks — https://www.sarahmaclean.net/book-list

In this episode, Barry Schwartz explores why making a good decision isn't always as simple as weighing the pros and cons. We discuss why trying to find the "best" option can sometimes leave us worse off, when we should trust our judgment instead of the numbers, and why having so many choices today can make even simple decisions feel overwhelming. Along the way, Barry offers a different way to think about making choices—and what it really means to choose wisely.Keywordsdecision making, rational choice theory, judgment, behavioral economics, trade-offs, regret, modern decision challengesIn this episode, you'll learn:Why rational choice theory doesn't capture how many real-world decisions should be madeWhy some choices simply can't be reduced to numbersHow quantification can create a false sense of confidenceWhy we sometimes prioritize what's measurable instead of what actually mattersThe difference between maximizing and choosing something that's "good enough"Why having more choices can make decision-making harderHow judgment differs from simply following your intuitionWhy values and flexibility both matter when making difficult choicesHow regret can improve future decisionsWhy the modern world may be making thoughtful decision-making more difficultChapters00:00 Introduction to Barry Schwartz and his new book09:30 The limitations of quantifying decisions and outcomes11:00 The importance of context, framing, and norms in decision making13:24 The seductive nature of quantification and its pitfalls14:56 The futility of searching for the 'best' in decisions16:54 Mechanical errors in probabilistic thinking and uncertainty18:09 Challenges of quantifying complex decisions like college choices19:44 The risks of over-reliance on quantification and metrics22:09 The influence of quantifiable metrics on decision priorities23:36 The problem with maximizing and searching for the 'best'25:21 The paradox of choice and satisfaction27:12 The limits of rational search in life decisions28:46 When to apply rational choice theory and when to rely on judgment30:12 The role of reflection and goals in decision making31:58 Balancing logic, intuition, and emotion in decisions40:36 The importance of values, principles, and flexibility41:30 Life as a series of judgment calls, not formulas42:29 The role of regret in learning and decision improvement44:29 The right amount of regret and its importance45:54 Final thoughts on decision making in a complex worldGuest LinksWebsite - https://www.swarthmore.edu/profile/barry-schwartz

In this episode, Ryan Wexelblatt shares insights on behavioral interventions for children with ADHD, focusing on practical strategies for parents to support emotional regulation, motivation, and behavior management both at home and outside. Discover how understanding the ADHD brain can transform parenting approaches and foster better outcomes for kids.keywordsADHD, parenting, behavioral interventions, emotional regulation, executive functioning, motivation, child development, ADHD strategieskey topicsADHD and executive functioning delaysCognitive flexibility and emotional regulationBehavioral interventions and scaffoldingManaging disrespectful language and meltdownsCreating structure and expectations for ADHD kidsChapters00:00 Introduction to ADHD Parenting Strategies02:59 Meet Ryan Wexelblatt and his expertise04:29 Understanding how ADHD brains differ from neurotypical brains06:40 The role of cognitive flexibility in ADHD behavior08:34 Emotional regulation challenges and solutions09:25 Living in the moment and its impact on therapy12:37 Internal dialogue and impulsivity in ADHD13:39 Triggers of emotional outbursts in ADHD children15:58 Negative attention and reinforcement of behaviors18:31 Calmness and response strategies during meltdowns20:10 Setting expectations and opportunities for self-correction22:21 Disrespectful language and how to address it32:26 Teaching accountability and repair after hurtful words36:45 Managing emotional blackmail and severe behaviors40:03 Impulsivity and behavior outside the home43:32 Supporting motivation and routine at home53:30 Key takeaways for parents of ADHD childrenguest linksWebsite - https://adhddude.comYouTube - https://www.youtube.com/c/ADHDDudeRyanWexelblattLCSW

Happy 4th of July! I am pleased to announce that I am in the process of migrating to a new podcast platform. While there may be some technical issues along the way, this change will allow me to focus more on VIDEO CONTENT. Stay tuned for more updated!