Word Gets Around

The pay pigs are still on their knees, Cristina’s ex got held hostage by a bitch who makes us look mentally stable, and getting home at 7 a.m. is apparently our full-time job. We ran into exes, got the ick from a perfectly good man who breathed wrong and ordered an ungodly amount of Del Taco. By morning, we needed IVs, Jesus and a fucking lobotomy. Did we learn a lesson? No. Did we develop shame? Also no. See you next Tuesday, sluts!

This Halloween, we’re digging up dead dicks, dirty secrets, and the absolute fucking nightmares we’ve let inside our vaginas. From bloody hookups and vegan nut milk to creepy fuckboys who should’ve stayed six feet under, Skyler and Cristina are exposing their filthiest encounters and most questionable decisions.Some men ghost you. Others haunt your pussy for life.Happy Halloween, you filthy little freaks!

Consider this your official guide to bagging a bad bitch. From dating profiles that scream "virgin" to first date moves that immediately dry her up, we're teaching you how to get in her pants without making her pussy file a restraining order. Take fucking notes, boys. C U Next Tuesday. 💋

The male species is officially under review, and not everyone will be cleared for reproduction.This week: ranking his old bitches from best to worst fuck, a custom Fleshlight molded from his ex's pussy, J Biebs announcing your vagina smells, and whether men with flat feet deserve basic human rights. We're talking humiliation kinks, questionable vasectomies, financial icks, and sexual decisions that should probably be illegal.Some call them dealbreakers. We call them reasons to end the bloodline.C U Next Tuesday. 💋

The fuckboys are spinning the block and the situationships are on life support.This week: “is he balls deep in his ex rn??”, Miu Miu hostage negotiations, the group chat fumble from hell and watching FaceTime pussy eating like it’s the fucking Love Island finale.Getting that dick back. Taking that lick back. Nature is healing.