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The Gender Knot

Author: Nastaran Tavakoli-Far

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A Time Magazine Top 50 podcast: “The show serves an important purpose: Encouraging men and women to enter a productive dialogue with one another”. Hosted by Nas and Dan (aka Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Daniel Carroll).
https://www.thegenderknot.com/
93 Episodes
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We’re back with a bonus hiatus episode and we’re talking about victim blaming, especially as it pertains to sexual assault. This is when a victim of an alleged assault is blamed, ranging from being asked what they were wearing, if they’d drunk alcohol, all the way to people not believing their story. Sometimes friends also don’t know how to handle the situation so either engage in victim blaming or simply disappear. Nas recently made a documentary exploring the reasons behind victim blaming, and interviewed the NY Times’ Megan Twohey and Jodi Kantor, who broke the Harvey Weinstein story, as well as Gender Knot favourites Dr Mithu Sanyal and Dr Jackson Katz. Check it out here for background: https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/w3csyv0q In this episode Nas and Dan talk about ways we can help victims instead. We’d also like to know your experiences if you’ve been in this scenario, as either a victim or someone being told of an assault, and any tips you have for how to help victims. We also talk about an excellent podcast from Slate you should check out called Man Up... check it out here: https://slate.com/podcasts/man-up We’re on hiatus and will be back with a new season in March. Keep writing to us until then. Hosts:Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Daniel Carroll Producers:Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell Write to us at: thegenderknot@gmail.com https://www.thegenderknot.com/ Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)
We close season 6 with journalist Liz Plank. She’s just written a book about mindful masculinity and tells us about the general scripts we have about men and if these help or hinder our wider conversations. We then delve into her thoughts more.We will be back with a new season in March 2020, and will pop up for some bonus episodes in January and February – share the show, leave reviews and write to us until then! And happy 2020!Guest:Liz Plank, journalist and author of ‘For the Love of Men: a vision for mindful masculinity’ http://www.elizabethplank.com/Hosts:Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Daniel CarrollCo-producers:Sam Baker and Jonathan BlackwellWrite to us at: thegenderknot@gmail.com https://www.thegenderknot.com/Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)
We revisit this important topic just once more to really hammer out the purpose of an apology and some dos and don’ts.We get some tips and insight from Harriet Lerner’s book ‘Why won’t you apologize?’ https://amzn.to/38hWsBzAs well as some wisdom from Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg’s powerful twitter threads which you can delve into further here http://bit.ly/344bnMg and here http://bit.ly/38nOszcHosts:Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Daniel Carroll Co-producers:Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell Additional links:Write to us at thegenderknot@gmail.comwww.thegenderknot.com Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)
We talk a lot about what men can be doing right now, but we revisit a chat with Esther Perel on what women can be doing right now, and how we can all best be allies to one another. Guest:Esther Perel, therapist, author of ‘Mating in Captivity’ and ‘The State of Affairs’, host of the podcasts Where Should We Begin? and How’s work? Hosts:Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Daniel Carroll Co-producers:Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell Additional links:Write to us at thegenderknot@gmail.comwww.thegenderknot.com Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)
Everyone’s talking more about consent but where does this start? Educator Ellen Frederichs joins us to chat about how consent starts with kids and why we all need to be more specific about our experiences. Guest:Ellen Frederichs, educator and author of ‘Good Sexual Citizenship: how to create a (sexually) safer world” https://www.sexedvice.com/good-sexual-citizenshipHosts:Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Daniel CarrollProducers:Sam Baker and Jonathan BlackwellWrite to us at: thegenderknot@gmail.com https://www.thegenderknot.com/Patreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a coffee!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknot Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)
Journalist Hussein Kesvani writes a lot about the internet, and about masculinity, and about the intersection of the two. He recently interviewed people about apologies in a piece for The Huffington Post, focusing on men and their understanding of an apology and if many men have been taught how to give one. He was inspired after Aziz Ansari’s attempt at one with his recent Netflix show ‘Right Now’, which is when we at The Gender Knot also delved into this same question a few weeks ago.He joins us to explore this further, and we also re-visit Eve Ensler’s book ‘The Apology’ during our conversation. Check out Hussein's article on men and apologies for the Huffington Post http://bit.ly/2CSjn8g Guest:Hussein Kesvani: journalist, Europe editor at Mel magazine, and author of 'Follow me, Akhi: the online world of British Muslims' - buy it here: https://amzn.to/2OnMgOK and more on Hussein here: https://twitter.com/HKesvaniHosts:Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Daniel Carroll Co-producers:Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell Additional links:Write to us at thegenderknot@gmail.comwww.thegenderknot.com Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)
We re-visit some wisdom from the sex and relationship advice columnist and host of the Savage LoveCast Dan Savage, who tells us what straight couples can learn from same sex couples. Guest:Dan Savage, sex and relationship advice columnist and Savage Lovecast host Hosts:Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Daniel Carroll Co-producers:Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell Additional links:Write to us at thegenderknot@gmail.comwww.thegenderknot.com Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)
Journalist and author of the book ‘For the Love of Men: a vision for mindful masculinity’ tells us about meeting women who support who Trump, and what this tells us about our attitudes towards men and the role women play in upholding these. We also find out about Dan’s backstory on this show, and how we can all take things a bit less personally.Also, the Grace Digital Founders Campus app has all the tools female business founders need to succeed. Go and pledge your support here: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/grace-digitalcampus/grace-digital-founders-campusGuest:Liz Plank, journalist and author of ‘For the Love of Men: a vision for mindful masculinity’ http://www.elizabethplank.com/Hosts:Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Daniel CarrollProducers:Sam Baker and Jonathan BlackwellWrite to us at: thegenderknot@gmail.com https://www.thegenderknot.com/Patreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a coffee!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknot Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)
We’re back with Season 6. We talk to author Jeannie Vanasco who interviewed a friend from her teenage years who raped her 15 years ago. Vanasco got in touch with him to find out if and how the rape impacted him, and wrote about it in her new book ‘Things we didn’t talk about when I was a girl’. We talk to her about the role we all play in supporting victims, holding perpetrators accountable and how to make apologies. Also, support the Grace Digital Founders Campus app with all the tools female business founders need to succeed https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/grace-digitalcampus/grace-digital-founders-campusGuest:Jeannie Vanasco, author of ‘Things we didn’t talk about when I was a girl’ https://www.jeannievanasco.com/Hosts:Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Daniel CarrollProducers:Sam Baker and Jonathan BlackwellWrite to us at: thegenderknot@gmail.com and https://www.thegenderknot.com/Patreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a coffee!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknot Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)
We're back with a bonus episode during our hiatus to discuss an email we received about none other than everyone's favorite topic: Emotional Labour! Is emotional labour gendered? Or should we just all focus on doing the right thing and stop segmenting these problems as male or female? Hosts and producers:Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Daniel Carroll Co-producers:Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell Additional links:Patreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a coffee!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknot Write to us at: thegenderknot@gmail.com The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/ Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)
We revisit a conversation from earlier this year where we explored how men can be allies if their behaviour towards women has been problematic. Our guest Omar talks about being called out and having to question his role as an ally.We’re on hiatus until October, we’ll be back with another episode before then.Guests:Omar Aziz, co-host of The Samovar Network podcast http://www.thesamovarnetwork.com/podcast/ Hosts and producers:Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Daniel Carroll Co-producers:Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell Additional links:Patreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a coffee!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknot Write to us at: thegenderknot@gmail.com The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/ Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)
Apologies are hard

Apologies are hard

2019-07-1523:551

From Aziz Ansari to Eve Ensler to why on earth apologies are so hard, we dive in and also discuss the best way to give an apology.We’re on hiatus and will be back with a new season in October. Another bonus episode will be out next month.Hosts:Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Daniel CarrollProducers:Sam Baker and Jonathan BlackwellAdditional links:Eve Ensler on WTF with Mark Maron http://www.wtfpod.com/podcast/episode-1028-eve-enslerNas’ radio documentary about Emotional Labour https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/w3csytzdLouis Theroux’s documentary ‘The Night in Question’ https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000327c/louis-theroux-the-night-in-questionPatreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a coffee!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknot Write to us at: thegenderknot@gmail.com The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/ Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)
We end season 5 by hearing Mark Manson’s tips for men during these confusing times, including how men can help each other out and his predictions about how we'll all get along in the future. Check out his new book ‘Everything is fucked: A book about hope’ and catch him on his speaking tour, more details here https://markmanson.net/speaking-tourWe are going on hiatus until October, and we'll be back with a bonus episode every few weeks until then. Have a great summer!Guest: Mark Manson, author https://markmanson.net/New book ‘Everything is Fucked: A book about hope: order it here https://markmanson.net/books Hosts:Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Daniel CarrollProducers:Sam Baker and Jonathan BlackwellAdditional links:Patreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a coffee!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknot Write to us at: thegenderknot@gmail.com The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/ Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)
You’ve been writing to us about vulnerability following our previous two rounds and we’re going to delve into your thoughts and experiences. This journey started with us talking about men and vulnerability in relationships. Now we want to know if vulnerability culture is useful at all, and how does it benefit or hold back men and women differently. Hosts:Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Daniel CarrollProducers:Sam Baker and Jonathan BlackwellAdditional links:Patreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a coffee!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknot Write to us at: thegenderknot@gmail.com The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/ Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)
LBC radio host Matt Stadlen joined us to chat vulnerability recently. This time we go into men talking about sex: how much and how do men really talk about sex and how does this impact their relationships?Guest: Matt Stadlen, journalist and LBC radio host, tune into his show here: https://www.lbc.co.uk/radio/presenters/matt-stadlen/Hosts:Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Daniel CarrollProducers:Sam Baker and Jonathan BlackwellAdditional links:Patreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a coffee!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknot Write to us at: thegenderknot@gmail.com The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/ Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)
Author of the book ‘Rape’ Mithu Sanyal fills us in on ways we can approach talking about rape and giving support, and why consent culture is tricky in societies where we are taught not to express our needs and desires clearly in the first place. Guest: Mithu Sanyal, author of the book ‘Rape: from Lucretia to #MeToo’, get a copy here https://amzn.to/2WrqnEi Hosts:Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Daniel CarrollProducers:Sam Baker and Jonathan BlackwellAdditional links:Patreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a coffee!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknot Write to us at: thegenderknot@gmail.com The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/ Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)
Vulnerability Round 2

Vulnerability Round 2

2019-05-2021:26

We recently talked to LBC’s Matt Stadlen about vulnerability and how especially men can struggle with this in relationships. We delve back in and also hear your thoughts and experiences with opening up.Hosts:Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Daniel CarrollProducers:Sam Baker and Jonathan BlackwellAdditional links:Patreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a coffee!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknot Write to us at: thegenderknot@gmail.com The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/ Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)
The hit author talks about his new book ‘Everything is fucked: A book about hope’, and how technology and choice are impacting how we live and make decisions on the modern world. Mark is also off on a speaking tour, head here to check out dates and details https://markmanson.net/speaking-tourGuest: Mark Manson, author https://markmanson.net/New book ‘Everything is fucked’ out on 14th May, order here https://markmanson.net/books Hosts:Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Daniel CarrollProducers:Sam Baker and Jonathan BlackwellAdditional links:Patreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a coffee!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknot Write to us at: thegenderknot@gmail.com The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/ Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)
This week, LBC's Matt Stadlen joins us to talk about vulnerability. We try to uncover some of the reasons why men and women have a hard time opening up, especially in intimate relationships. Be sure to check out Matt's show on LBC: https://www.lbc.co.uk/radio/presenters/matt-stadlen/We’d love your experiences and to talk about this topic more so please write to us at thegenderknot@gmail.comHosts:Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Daniel CarrollProducers:Sam Baker and Jonathan BlackwellNas’ BBC documentary on emotional labour https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/w3csytzdPatreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a coffee!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknot Write to us at: thegenderknot@gmail.com The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/ Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)
The author of hit book ‘The subtle art of not giving a fuck’ talks to Dan about how pornography and the way it’s impacted men’s interest in sex, and tips on how to have more fulfilling sex. Also check out Mark’s upcoming book ‘Everything is fucked’ and his speaking tour by heading over to https://markmanson.net/speaking-tourDan and Nas also have a quick talk about expectations on women due to the increasing use of pornography. We’d love your experiences and to talk about this topic more so please write to us at thegenderknot@gmail.comGuest: Mark Manson, author https://markmanson.net/Hosts:Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Daniel CarrollProducers:Sam Baker and Jonathan BlackwellAdditional links:Kasia Urbaniak’s masterclass at The School of Life in London on June 22nd 2019, get tickets here https://www.theschooloflife.com/london/classroom/a-masterclass-with-kasia-urbaniak-ruben-flores/Patreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a coffee!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknot Write to us at: thegenderknot@gmail.com The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/ Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)
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Comments (3)

Adam Itinerant

If this was the first episode I'd heard I wouldn't listen again.

Aug 5th
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Adam Itinerant

This self-congratultory, “smash it” guy is making me feel sick. I don't see the progress he's claiming to have made. The interview is far too softball. I can't remember the last time I reacted so viscerally to a person in an interview and the flirtatious giggling is incongruent and disconcerting.

Nov 11th
Reply

Horacio Fernandez

Amazing podcast!! Will definitely follow.

Feb 26th
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