Weird AF News
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© Jonesy
Description
Comedian Jonesy covers weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Florida.
2158 Episodes
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FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida woman on crack goes on the attack with a skillet and collard greens. Florida woman defecates at the police in order to escape arrest. Florida woman named Juicy Booty attacked teenagers with a baseball bat. Florida woman bites her attacker's penis to escape to safety. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform
American dad wakes up from each surgery speaking fluent Spanish. Japanese insecticide company holds a memorial service for the bugs they've killed. Greyhound racing dog tests positive for meth. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform
Man tried to board a flight with his dead wife in a wheelchair. Chinese man hospitalized after putting a live leech inside his own body, and I won't say where. Study shows that Japanese people aren't having sex. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform
Dutch couple's marriage annulled because they used ChatGPT in the wedding vows. Tuna King purchases a record $3.2 million Bluefin tuna at Tokyo auction. 100 skulls found at a Pennsylvania man's home believed to be stolen from cemeteries. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform
Several monkeys on the loose in St. Louis, Missouri. Texas A&M university bans Plato for being woke. "Are You Dead Yet?" App is #1 in China. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform
FLORIDA FRIDAY - Naked Floridaman robs a meat market. Floridaman takes a sledgehammer to gaming machines inside a store after losing thousands. Floridaman arrested for trespassing at a construction site wearing red lace bra, g-string and holding a gun. Floridaman Salvation Army bellringer arrested for trying to impale a Publix manager with the donation tripod. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform
Married man in Italy sues restaurant after their TikTok promo video exposed his secret love affair. Woman arrested swimming nude in neighbor's private pond claiming she was, "trying to be a mermaid". Beloved walrus penis was stolen from behind the bar in a New Jersey cheesesteak place. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform
1Hundreds gather in Glasgow to watch someone get kicked in the groin. TikTok influencer rode his horse through a New York Target and it poo'd on the floor. Toronto sex toy shop is ordered by the Pentagon to cease selling sex toys to Bahrain. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform
Samurai sword weilding man offers to remove your squatters in San Francisco area. Man stole the sword from the Joan of Arc statue in Paris. Hundreds of people tricked into attending fake New Years fireworks display in Birmingham. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform
FLORIDA FRIDAY - Best of Floridaman (and woman) for 2025 - Floridaman arrested with a thermos in his rectum. Floridaman shoots his friend over argument on how many eggs a chicken can lay. Floridaman runs over a woman for refusing a foot sniff. Floridaman robs a restaurant in scuba gear. Florida police arrest Chuck E. Cheese mascot in front of kids. Floridaman pees on $10k worth of Spam in a store. Floridaman eats his own pet peacocks after arguing with a neighbor. Floridaman touches realtor's feets in a creepy way. Floridaman high on meth steals a train on his birthday and still picks up passengers. Florida parents leave child on side of the highway with a bag of guns. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform
Weird AF News - Best of 2025: Radioactive Shrimp at Walmart. Denmark zoo asks for your pets to feed their animals. Woman dies on a bus with 26 iPhones attached to her. Meth smoking raccoon found in the driver's seat. Naked man with vaseline found in Lowes display shed. Man lights his home on fire to meet firefighters. Hotel no longer allowed to wake up guests with real baby pandas. Doctor amputated his legs for funsies. Defeat the drug cartels with song. And more... (and Happy New Year from Jonesy :P ) // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform
Woman in Japan marries her Chatbot which is a German video game entity. Man blows up his own stomach after ingesting a shot of lliquid nitrogen prepared by a celeb chef. Passenger discovers a man inside the trunk of the Waymo ride. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform
$400k worth of live lobsters were stolen on the way to Costco. Hire a Chinese humanoid robot to be a ring bearer at your wedding among other services available. 2025 roundup of strange items stuck inside people's orifices (and removed at the Emergency Room) this year. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform
Mystery as hundreds of Victorian era shoes from the 1900's wash up on a beach in Wales. Neighbors are complaining about the intense sweet smell of donuts in their neighborhood. Mom sues an AI company after catching her son having raunchy sexting with Whitney Houston and Marilyn Monroe chatbots. //Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform
Woman was already dead when her family brought her onto an EasyJet flight. Disappearance of geese at local park sparks concern they are being stolen and eaten for the holidays. Researcher charged with smuggling e-coli into the US inside women's underwear. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform
Hundreds attend a mock funeral for the penny in Washington DC. Parents are outraged after a Canadian elementary school uses a Time Out Box on the kids. Wanted man jumped into a nativity scene to hide from the police. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform
FLORIDA FRIDAY - Mystery as a Florida doctor walks into a Dollar Store freezer and stays overnight, dies. Florida repoman truck driver tows a car with a 4 year old still inside. 84 year old Floridaman shot his son in the face for not visiting his mother on weekends. Florida woman shot both of her ex husbands on the same day. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform
Strippers give the largest holiday toy donation in Portland history. Woman was kicked by a camel at Christmas celebration inside a Houston Church. Three Santas and 40 elves rob a grocery store in Montreal. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform
Police find the free marijuana display anything but jolly. New Canada school rule requires kids to wear helmets while playing in the snow. Woman in San Francisco gave birth inside a Waymo taxi. //Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform
Woman sues IRS to get her dog classified as a tax "dependent". Government employees in China caught using printed face masks of colleagues to trick facial recognition system and skip work. Sex toy shoplifter threatened man with leg of lamb before robbing a public bus. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform
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Jonesy does NOT disappoint...and always comes prepared to soothe (AND surprise!) your earholes with wildly entertaining, random- albiet, sometimes -useless knowledge niblets... I mean who tf doesn't love a good conversation starter??!? (a miserable f*%k, THATS WHO)
for recording in a closet this podcast is fire!!!🔥🔥🔥
Hey Jonsey! Love the show and the wierd shit that you report about that I actually believe happens on planet earth. keep doin what your doin in the closet. by the way pass some herb my way, always to the left lol. Sincerely, Rodney Laws
I'm SOOO glad I came across your pod cast! I love it! I look forward to listening every week, totally entertaining and interesting. Keep up the good work! ☺️
You can buy Krill at Petsmart.. lol.
I wonder how many times drunk sex happens on planes? Lots I suppose! Maybe drunk boxing on planes? That I would pay to see! 😂😂
Jonesy, 420 hippie, loving weird AF News. You friggin Rock! ♡ Love you!
Nothing makes my day like a #ShoutOut from @funnyjones on one of my favorite #podcasts, Weird AF News! Check it out! 🔥😎🔥
Damn, Jonsey- that woman was probably homeless and depressed AF. Maybe she wanted drugs or maybe she was just hungry on the streets
Love you Jonesy I'm a critic from Kenya,Africa
Hooray for Florida Fridays!!!
hey Jonesy, I used to go to a bar where we shot at the dartboard with pistols. this is BobbyRay. catch ya later.
Seppuku, I believe, is killing yourself by cutting out your organs with a sword.
Yay I have gotten the wierd people to notice me! I am Will!
Hey Jonsey!!! it's Ryut! pronounced riot btw! I've been listening for a good while....march mabey? Anywho...this I think has been my favorite cast this far! I loved hearing you talk about "Ma" and hugging a tree and DUH! they should be able to sue someone for the blatant waste of their formitave years. keep it weird! RYUT
I love Weird AF News!!!
Favorite Podcast! So funny!
love your podcasts! I look forward to them every week 💞❤