mind you

What would change if you stopped dressing for other people? Deb Caldwell has built STORM on trusting her gut for 20 years, and I think her approach works just as well for your life as it does for your wardrobe.Deb is the founder and creative director of STORM, and she knows what it means to stay in your lane and trust that your people will find you. We talk about why trying to please everyone means losing what makes you different, why she doesn't believe balance exists, and what she hears women say in fitting rooms every single day. Spoiler: nobody is looking at your arms.We also get practical with your wardrobe. Deb shares her five minute declutter trick (it cleared out 22 blouses), why you should ignore the size on the label, and her number one rule: don't save anything for best.You'll see me wearing STORM on the Mind You podcast, and I love the confidence I get from these sharp, edgy, fun clothes. I hope you enjoy this conversation with Deb.Find STORM at stormonline.comExplore the Mind You app at charlottecummings.nz

Broadcaster Toni Street on public speaking nerves, confident communication, burnout and starting counselling for the first time in her life.Toni is one of New Zealand's most loved broadcasters. She's been on our screens and radios for 20 years and has hosted New Zealander of the Year for 12. And for a long time, she still broke into a cold sweat every time she had to speak.We talk about how to speak with confidence when every part of you wants to say no. Why people are judging you anyway, so you may as well put your hand up. Why waiting to feel 100% ready keeps capable people stuck while others get the opportunities. How to manufacture your own energy on camera. And why you don't need to be funny, or feel your best, to be worth listening to.Toni also opens up about her mental health. Hosting through an autoimmune condition and high doses of steroids. Losing three siblings. And this year, noticing her joy had gone flat, and seeing a counsellor who told her she was close to burnout. Everything on her plate was good. It was just too much.We get into micro moments of rest, calming an overloaded nervous system, and simple tricks for public speaking anxiety, including why wriggling your toes tells your body you're not being chased by a tiger.If you're a high-functioning woman who keeps saying no because you don't feel ready yet, this one's for you.Find Toni and her Confident Communication course at tonistreet.com or on Instagram @tonimstreet.Want to take this further? My new Mind You app has tools, courses and resources to help you put these ideas into practice. Find it at charlottecummings.nz.

Where do you get your sense of worth from? Most of us default to two answers: what we achieve, or what other people think of us. Neither holds up long term.In this episode I talk about non-contingent self-worth, the kind that doesn't move when your circumstances do. I see this come up constantly with clients, in burnout, in people-pleasing, even in addiction and infidelity. It always traces back to the same question: where does my value actually come from?Part of the answer is simple. You have value just for being human. Full stop. It has nothing to do with your achievements or what other people think of you, whatever your circumstances, whatever mistakes you've made, whatever season of life you're in.I get practical too. How to notice fawning. Why perfectionism is a shield, not a strength. How to let people see you unfinished. How to rest without earning it first.Nothing you do can make you more valuable. Nothing you do can make you less. That's the whole point.If this episode helped, I'd love you to follow the podcast, leave a review, or share it with someone who needs to hear it. Come find me at charlottecummings.nz for the Mind You app, courses and resources.

I don't think ADHD belongs to one person in a relationship. I think the relationship has ADHD.This week I'm unpacking what happens when ADHD (diagnosed early, diagnosed late, or still unnamed) shows up in a partnership, and why it affects both people, not just the one who has it. I talk about the emotional weight that comes with a late diagnosis, why rejection sensitive dysphoria is so common, and how understanding your unbearable feeling changes everything.I also share the practical stuff. Why I statements can backfire, how body doubling works, using AI to depersonalise decisions, fighting time blindness with routine, and giving yourself permission to outsource without shame.If ADHD is part of your relationship, I hope this gives you language, a bit of relief, and somewhere to start.Want more? Come find the Mind You app at charlottecummings.nzAnd here are the episodes I mentioned: Unbearable Feelings and Relationships https://open.spotify.com/episode/2H5kknVJxfiAwa1WjDXDPo?si=41eb4ed029d74536 and Unbearable Feelings https://open.spotify.com/episode/2vh7ZngihnqTVgO9UiawsD?si=5HvaQz6DRwSKvHuWQJV9Yg

I suddenly kept seeing my friends posting photos of their drawers and pantries, tagging The Home Edit and Mel Robbins. So I sat down and listened to the episode that started this decluttering frenzy. I came away furious, and worried for every overloaded woman hearing it - especially, the neurodivergent ones. My guest is Carrie from Curate Home NZ, a professional declutterer and home organiser who specialises in working with neurodivergent households. We both like Mel Robbins. We both like The Home Edit. What we don't like is telling an already overloaded woman that decluttering is simple, and she should just be able to get on and do it.We talk about:- Why the "it's simple, just do it" message misses what actually makes decluttering hard, whether or not you're neurodivergent - What decluttering looks like for a neurodivergent brain specifically, and why executive function makes it a much bigger task than it looks- The broken window effect, and why putting one thing away can feel completely pointless in an overwhelmed house- The shame spiral behind curated home content- Why the gendered mental load means "messy" gets judged completely differently depending on whose name is on the room- Practical, unglamorous advice for getting started without buying a single storage box. If this episode helps you, I would love you to follow Mind You, leave a review, or share it with someone who needs to hear it. Head to charlottecummings.nz for my other tools and resources, and to sign up for my new app, Mind You, the home for all my resources, post-podcast chat, and everything you need to actually care well for yourself.You can also find the lovely Carrie at curatehome.co.nz