molière and the fat lad

.. some biannual rubbish

when ingerland took on italy at wemberley a short while ago in the final of euro 2020, most people believed (well, the lucky few who managed to avoid the traditional gomorrah of pre match festivities that ingerland fans had so thoughtfully provided for everyone outside) that such spectacle would not be surpassed this year. how wrong they were! for you have in your possession here a precious artefact so dangerously full to bursting with passion, insight and wisdom that you should really don medical grade masks and darkened safety visors for any encounter with the many dangerous thrills and sizzling insights of its host, moliere. the great man has exclusively recorded a full commentary of the match, live from his chateau in seventeenth century france. he is the round ball guru that everyone has been seeking to lure away with promises of earthly delights galore. but the poet is not for turning. here he delivers a punditry and commentating masterclass, blessing us with his unparalleled vision, his renowned perspicacity, his ever-alert ear for the cadenced and mellifluous words of strategy that surround us all and yet trouble us but rarely. his reading of the game is both thorough and delightfully nuanced, but also almost spiritual. his encyclopaedic and formidable knowledge of association football informs his every remark and aside. his willingness to share his genius, meanwhile, is yet another sign of his altruism. and then there is his moving bravery - for which, typically, he will claim no credit. indeed, observant listeners will realise that this broadcast represents his first foray back into the arena of contact sport since a serf caused such unnecessary and unfortunate damage to the very digit with which he makes his glorious living (a moment caught in all its bloody goriness live on the pod many moons ago). fearless, incisive, he possesses a deep understanding of the beautiful game, and may even have played a pivotal role in its inception. truly, we are not worthy. but what a time to be alive. here, moliere gifts us with the definitive souvenir of such an epochal tournament final. without superfluity. devoid of bombast ... it has come to our attention that some other bloke also muscled in to this podcast, and for this we can only unreservedly and most sincerely apologise - we share your pain ... inscribe to us at moliereandthefatladATgmail.com (replacing AT with @) ... for full derivation of the word thumb in this context, please see the excellent - but admittedly rival - podcast work of barry glendenning esquire ... and a big shout out to 'aris.

gather by the apocalyptic fireside, friends, and allow three self-appointed representatives of the great powers, the almighty cradles of civilisation, to explain just how the big babies who are at present governing their plague ridden lands managed to so comprehensively wreck these cradles during the last twelve months. luke in the usa, simon in france and rudy in england grapple and flail with the most pressing questions of our time. there then follows a feeble segue into the world renowned 'luvvie section', in which our three heroes, with misty eyes and carbonated masks and pockets full of prophylactic onions, recall their glory years of treading the boards for the bard ... carpe diem, baby ... contact the show - moliereandthefatladATgmail.com (replacing AT with @).

a true feature length epic, which nevertheless cannot do justice to moliere's extraordinary return to the chateau, after an extended period of quarantine in his northern estates. but everything has changed! the hall of mirrors and the concubines are no more, and madame guenevere has muscled in. moliere takes refuge in the coldest house in france. an equally startling return for pilar, fresh from her own lengthy hibernation in a santander bar. fat lad, meanwhile, avers that he has turned over a new leaf, but the jury is out - especially as that appears to be familiar mould under the afore mentioned leaf, and particularly as he is more convinced than ever that much of the local so-called human population are actually shaved mice, shaved coypus, shaved boars and shaved ravens in disguise. the ominous mayday bonfire on the village green is being built, and this may signify moliere's imminent demise. hairy pigs and hairy horses and hairy flies might fly. the chaps discuss poemes saturnienes by paul verlaine. contact moliere, in his hour of need, at moliereandthefatladATgmail.com (replacing AT with @). thank you to pilar, verlaine et famille, and the great raoul ficel for our marvellous theme tune - raoulficel.com

moliere gently and merrily dreams his way downstream to the port of bordeaux on a mississippi paddle steamer, as you do. however, unbeknownst to him, he appears to be momentarily whisked away to some distant land called portsmouth. but who is responsible for this dastardly rift in the space time continuum? the possible culprits are, variously, a siren, a coypu, a fairy and a starling. but answers are there none. the chaps discuss the essential works of michel foucault. theme music by the brilliant raoul ficel - raoulficel.com

une petite balade automnale ...

moliere, fat lad, and their north america correspondent, present their new, regular (but frankly, irregular) politics pod. they tell it how it is. but is it listening? and is junior j junior the third senior paying attention? we can but hope.

the first pilgrim arrives on the estates! and to celebrate this momentous event moliere gifts us with not one but TWO audio tours of his groundbreaking museum. he also consults with a tactile butterfly, and decides to share his pearls of wisdom with his villagefolk directly from this point forth. fatlad suffers greatly, after communing with nature in her wildest guise. the chaps discuss les fleurs du mal by charles baudelaire. thank you, jair. and thank you to raoul ficel for our ace and exclusive new theme tune - check out his work at raoulficel.com

we were delighted that bordeaux-based actor and poet, jair massiah, dropped in to talk about performance, gardens, pandemics and the ways in which stand up comedy represents, for the performer, both an absolute fear and an ultimate high. find jair on instagram and twitter - @jairmassiah. her poetry collections - lioness, eden, and half moon - are available from amazon and bookdepository. she is represented by the janet hampson agency - janethampson.co.uk. thanks a million jair.

... but it's just more rubbish really. cos it's 2020 innit, aka the end of days. an international summit, matfl style, attempts to right the wrongs and left the right.

.. an original take on a country stroll ..

moliere modestly rewrites everything you may have gleaned from your history books, in revealing that the age of revolution probably commenced on his very own estates, wherein a surly tenant farmer (possibly fly-clad) not only makes defiant eye contact with our favourite toff guru, but also conspicuously fails to tug at any forelock whatsoever. a cock, a cockatoo and a fatlad also make cameo appearances. the chaps discuss  le potager du paresseux by didier helmstetter.

extraordinary events on the estates, as the ever benign moliere actually invites some unfortunate varmints in to pilfer from his own fig trees. after much fruity frolicking and illicit barbecuing, fat lad smells a rat. the chaps discuss maudit héritage by béatrice davault.

while it might be considered wise - in this most benighted of all years - to walk fearlessly into a better future dressed only in carpe diem, the chaps decide instead to indulge in a proustian wallow through all the low points and low points of the supposed summer gone. for your delectation they ramble through molière's elysian fields, and they also find time to discuss endgame by samuel beckett and la mare au diable by george sand (again).

moliere is busy collecting his tithes in his northern estates. but he has not forsaken the listener. rather, he has recorded a choice selection of audio delights from his aquitaine environs - to both delight and to pleasure his devoted followers. marvel - as he and the other (unaccountably still breathing) toffs beat the bracken for the sans culottes! swoon - as his happy serfs gambol merrily in his fields! gasp - at the brazen and seditious mutterings in the marketplace! tremble - as moliere returns to the bouledrome for the very first time since his digit drew the ire of that unruly and ungrateful mob of many episodes ago. all recorded for the discerning audiophile on the very finest seventeenth century working steam-powered analogue reel to reel to real. so kick off your culottes, fix yourself a pernod, nibble on a french fancy, settle back on your chaise lounge, have a bout de souffle gently unwinding in the corner, play a little air accordeon, and be transported to deep france. recommended background balm for everything you might conceivably get up to in life. try it on for size as gentle meditative background for work and for play, for haymaking and for lovemaking and for much ado. this is bliss. and we are not worthy. and we are grateful. the chaps discuss absolutely nothing at all, but normal service will be resumed next time.

moliere eyes new climes, commercial opportunities and territories, irritated by the constant, crawling ranting of his own over-familiar peasants. fat lad falls in love, and just falls in general. the chaps discuss dig me out by jovana babović.

things are getting serious, as moliere takes his eco-friendly sky-chariot to the new world to learn just how free the land of the free still is. back on terra firma, he finds himself caught between a rock (upon which he berates some faux toffs who are disturbing the peace on his estates) and a hard boule that a naked peasant may or may not have dropped on his digit. fat lad takes issue with most of the world. the chaps discuss too much and never enough by mary l. trump. thank you, john.

moliere berates the youth of today for their rampant technologies and their lack of revolutionary fervour. fat lad envies moliere's boulangerie. the chaps discuss la mare au diable by george sand - and moliere even gets to spend an agreeable night in her hotel.

moliere muses on the apparent influence of the scottish enlightenment on contemporary continental european politics. fat lad wonders whether a popular retro primetime drama may in fact be a socialist utopian hidden-camera documentary. and the show comes with free soothing bucolic vintner sounds for all wannabe executive producer types. the chaps discuss germinal by emile zola.

molière wonders about corruption as he wanders his chateau gardens. are the aristocrats really beating the bracken, yonder, for the benefit of the sans culottes? fat lad goes off on one about the plague - he's very quiet in this episode, but he is shielding and he is very shy. in the literary section the chaps discussed 'a vision for europe 2020 nothing but an alternative' edited by david adler and rosemary bechler.