our pod

We’re really just two girls close on a couch. Bella loves how Ivana says “luteal.” She says it like a beautiful name. You learn something new every pod. As Ivana always says. You know, these girls aren’t bound by what’s a good movie. In a Twilight rewatch, by the time you get to Breaking Dawn Part 2, you wanna blow your fucking brains out. Has Tree Paine lost her touch or has Tree Paine just realized Taylor’s uncontrollable? The concept of “year” has always been difficult for Bella. If one of the lesbian mask-conscious people find Our Pod, we’re screwed. And you can find ways to honour music that aren’t adding a song to a picture. 

Just think about the fact that if a person from cave man time or even Victorian era drank this (Cherry Float Coke), it would be diabetic shock on impact. Ivana was having a whole life, waiting for the toilet to flush. In any dyke movie Bella’s watched, she’s never seen scenes like The Handmaiden. And that’s saying something. Ivana’s subway take would be like, this doesn’t matter. At all. The shock of seeing Lisa Barlow’s middle name literally brought Bella to tears. If Ivana could give Chris Colfer any word of advice, it would be: step into your power. And you guys gotta follow us on socials. We’re about to be outta the cusp. It’s about to blow.

Ummm… hi. It’s like, we were just here. It’s been Ivana’s Year of Ego in that she’s been experiencing a lot of negative feedback about herself. There is nothing more exhilarating than finding out someone has your birthday. That is what the crack is. Ivana’s sun is Rachel McAdams as Regina George. Bella’s sun is Victoria Beckham as Posh. Bella and Rosie O’Donnell were dust particles together at the big bang. Anyways, that was fun. We don’t have to go on Las Culturistas anymore. At the end of the day, your girls should know about your boobs a little bit. Next point… actually, it’s the next two points. Actually it’s the next three points: we are feeling things for Nicole Kidman and Sandra Bullock.

Let’s lock in sister. To prove to Hudson Williams that she was cool, Ivana gave him a double thumbs up and said "Awesome." This is always what happens when you watch too much Vanderpump rules: you go crazy. When these celebrities die, they come to Bella. Miss Violet Affleck, mama will NOT take off that mask! For context: we've been thinking about Annie. Bella’s a Holmes' head. And in terms of being the victim of a cyber bullying wave, Ivana is always reminded of her birthday twin, Tyler the Creator: How do you even get cyber bullied? Close your eyes. 

Do we have to do the first point on this list? Let’s just say there’s two RIPs on this list. Besides that, it’s a beautiful midsummers night. Bella has had what can only be described as a Good Summer. Meanwhile, Ivana got a biopsy on her boob. What else is there to do in therapy but lie? Bella did her Grade 10 speech on YouTube. Ivana did it on being against volunteering. Bella sees her sister Ivana in everything (aka. Keke Palmer’s facial expressions). People are mad at Lala Kent simply because she is a beautiful woman. The girls suspect that Barbie will decide she can have it all in Barbie 2. They have hired Dianna Agron to play a woman named Skip Binsky. And Ivana lists her findings from The Radio.