shunned

Lying is integral to gaslighting, pushing the false realities that create confusion and lead to controlling behaviors. “The Truth”, as Jehovah’s Witnesses refer to their religious cult, is full of lies. The organization conveniently bends truth to create narratives to support and excuse their own behavior. The constant pressure to conform creates situations that lead to inauthenticity among members. Ultimately lies are a huge part of “The Truth”, as upholding the cult’s narrative is much more important than searching for actual truth. This is the fourth in a series where I’ll break down the ways that the cult of Jehovah’s Witnesses is actively breaking individuals down, from what they do to why they do it to the real fruitage that it produces in those impacted by it. Learning what it looks like can help us to see remnants that may lie within ourselves, and perhaps even relationships that we may have kept or gravitated toward in our post-cult lives. Support the show by donating to the cause on our Patreon page, Patreon.com/shunned Are you struggling in some area of life? Feeling stuck? Need an accountability partner or some encouragement? Need to talk to someone that understands cult life? Reach out and let’s talk. I have affordable programs to help as a certified life coach. Click HERE for more information. Want more resources? Go to my other website exjwHelp.com You can join The Uprising Project and get help with your career, small business, and finances by going to: https://theuprisingproject.com/join/ Leave us a review on iTunes Find shunned podcast on Youtube, including new VIDcasts here. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram. You can listen to the Shunned Podcast Spotify playlist here for all of the songs chosen by guests of the show. This podcast was made possible by my original podcast This JW Life. You can find it on any podcast app. It is a 9 part series about life as Jehovah’s Witnesses designed to help you understand how it worked in one comprehensive story and to help you process your own if you came from that environment. Music provided by Jane and the Boy, entitled Save Myself. An ExJW podcast and ExJW YouTube Channel

Waking up to the realities of life in the cult of Jehovah’s Witnesses is hard enough to do even in the best of circumstances. But what if you were an active JW, and what if you were fighting another active JW for custody of your child? And what if, in doing so, your eyes were opened to the reality of everything that you were involved in through the behavior of others? What if, as lawyers asked you questions on the stand, it all started to fall apart? Darrin’s story is both incredibly unique, with so many twists and turns that you won’t see coming, but also so familiar to many that have fought for custody of their children within the cult.   Support the show and get bonuses as well by donating to the cause on our Patreon page, Patreon.com/shunned Are you struggling in some area of life? Feeling stuck? Need an accountability partner or some encouragement? Need to talk to someone that understands cult life? Reach out and let’s talk. I have affordable programs to help as a certified life coach with a focus on cult recovery. Click HERE for more information. Want more resources? Go to my other website exjwHelp.com You can join The Uprising Project and get help with your career, small business, and finances by going to: https://theuprisingproject.com/join/ Leave us a review on iTunes Find shunned podcast on Youtube, including new VIDcasts here. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram. You can listen to the Shunned Podcast Spotify playlist here for all of the songs chosen by guests of the show. This podcast was made possible by my original podcast This JW Life. You can find it on any podcast app. It is a 9 part series about life as Jehovah’s Witnesses designed to help you understand how it worked in one comprehensive story and to help you process your own if you came from that environment. Music provided by Jane and the Boy, entitled Save Myself. An ExJW podcast and ExJW YouTube Channel

One hallmark of gaslighting is using what is near and dear to a person as ammunition against them. Jehovah’s Witnesses weaponize their relationships with you, your normal and natural desires, the expression of those desire, and more. They use shame to make you feel like a bad person for daring to want something outside of the approved list of personal expressions. A person that is beaten down and that has given up on what they want in life is easier to control. Often people lose their ability to form an identity apart from the group. This is the third in a series where I’ll break down the ways that the cult of Jehovah’s Witnesses is actively breaking individuals down, from what they do to why they do it to the real fruitage that it produces in those impacted by it. Learning what it looks like can help us to see remnants that may lie within ourselves, and perhaps even relationships that we may have kept or gravitated toward in our post-cult lives. Support the show by donating to the cause on our Patreon page, Patreon.com/shunned   Are you struggling in some area of life? Feeling stuck? Need an accountability partner or some encouragement? Need to talk to someone that understands cult life? Reach out and let’s talk. I have affordable programs to help as a certified life coach. Click HERE for more information. Want more resources? Go to my other website exjwHelp.com You can join The Uprising Project and get help with your career, small business, and finances by going to: https://theuprisingproject.com/join/ Leave us a review on iTunes Find shunned podcast on Youtube, including new VIDcasts here. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram. You can listen to the Shunned Podcast Spotify playlist here for all of the songs chosen by guests of the show. This podcast was made possible by my original podcast This JW Life. You can find it on any podcast app. It is a 9 part series about life as Jehovah’s Witnesses designed to help you understand how it worked in one comprehensive story and to help you process your own if you came from that environment. Music provided by Jane and the Boy, entitled Save Myself. An ExJW podcast and ExJW YouTube Channel

Life happens, both for the better and for the worse. Being a kid is hard, especially as it relates to school. Families fight. Relationships come and go. Individuals have their own internal struggles. There are amazing people in this world that seek to uplift others, and also people that prey on others and hope to take them down. Cherie’s story highlights how these normal life events happen, but no matter how bad life can be, Jehovah’s Witnesses can always add stress and drama to the situation that wouldn’t have been there otherwise. In the end, Cherie had to choose herself in order to protect her own peace. The song that Cherie chose to represent her story is Not Ready To Make Nice by The Chicks. Support the show and get bonuses as well by donating to the cause on our Patreon page, Patreon.com/shunned   Are you struggling in some area of life? Feeling stuck? Need an accountability partner or some encouragement? Need to talk to someone that understands cult life? Reach out and let’s talk. I have affordable programs to help as a certified life coach with a focus on cult recovery. Click HERE for more information. Want more resources? Go to my other website exjwHelp.com You can join The Uprising Project and get help with your career, small business, and finances by going to: https://theuprisingproject.com/join/ Leave us a review on iTunes Find shunned podcast on Youtube, including new VIDcasts here. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram. You can listen to the Shunned Podcast Spotify playlist here for all of the songs chosen by guests of the show. This podcast was made possible by my original podcast This JW Life. You can find it on any podcast app. It is a 9 part series about life as Jehovah’s Witnesses designed to help you understand how it worked in one comprehensive story and to help you process your own if you came from that environment. Music provided by Jane and the Boy, entitled Save Myself. An ExJW podcast and ExJW YouTube Channel

One hallmark of gaslighting is the denial of what happened, even in the face of proof. Jehovah’s Witnesses are masters of spin, from the organization itself to the individual members of the cult. When you hold something dear and you call it “The Truth”, you need it to be true no matter the cost. Whether it is the denial of their systematic shunning policies, their failed predictions of the end of the world, their denial of the Australian Royal Commission inquiry into child sex abuse and Jehovah’s Witnesses, or any number of things, what happened didn’t really happen if you ask members of the cult. It is easy to claim truth if you deny any challengers to it, and it is easy to feel alone or crazy when you see things that don’t add up and everyone around you acts like you didn’t see what you saw. The denial can cause a person to question their own reality, thus making them more pliable in the face of such control. This is the second in a series where I’ll break down the ways that the cult of Jehovah’s Witnesses is actively breaking individuals down, from what they do to why they do it to the real fruitage that it produces in those impacted by it. Learning what it looks like can help us to see remnants that may lie within ourselves, and perhaps even relationships that we may have kept or gravitated toward in our post-cult lives. Support the show by donating to the cause on our Patreon page, Patreon.com/shunned   Are you struggling in some area of life? Feeling stuck? Need an accountability partner or some encouragement? Need to talk to someone that understands cult life? Reach out and let’s talk. I have affordable programs to help as a certified life coach. Click HERE for more information. Want more resources? Go to my other website exjwHelp.com You can join The Uprising Project and get help with your career, small business, and finances by going to: https://theuprisingproject.com/join/ Leave us a review on iTunes Find shunned podcast on Youtube, including new VIDcasts here. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram. You can listen to the Shunned Podcast Spotify playlist here for all of the songs chosen by guests of the show. This podcast was made possible by my original podcast This JW Life. You can find it on any podcast app. It is a 9 part series about life as Jehovah’s Witnesses designed to help you understand how it worked in one comprehensive story and to help you process your own if you came from that environment. Music provided by Jane and the Boy, entitled Save Myself. An ExJW podcast and ExJW YouTube Channel

Jess grew up between two worlds, the one at her father’s house and the one at her mother’s. Both involved abuse and created much trauma for her, and as a child she would have to choose which home to stay at. That often meant staying at one home until she could no longer tolerate it, and then moving to the next. Add in bullying at school, by other family members, and the destructive cult of Jehovah’s Witnesses, and Jess had to be stronger than she could ever realize to make it through. Support the show by donating to the cause on our Patreon page, Patreon.com/shunned Are you struggling in some area of life? Feeling stuck? Need an accountability partner or some encouragement? Need to talk to someone that understands cult life? Reach out and let’s talk. I have affordable programs to help as a certified life coach. Click HERE for more information. Want more resources? Go to my other website exjwHelp.com You can join The Uprising Project and get help with your career, small business, and finances by going to: https://theuprisingproject.com/join/ Leave us a review on iTunes Find shunned podcast on Youtube, including new VIDcasts here. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram. You can listen to the Shunned Podcast Spotify playlist here for all of the songs chosen by guests of the show. This podcast was made possible by my original podcast This JW Life. You can find it on any podcast app. It is a 9 part series about life as Jehovah’s Witnesses designed to help you understand how it worked in one comprehensive story and to help you process your own if you came from that environment. Music provided by Jane and the Boy, entitled Save Myself. An ExJW podcast and ExJW YouTube Channel

On March 15, 2024, Mark Sanderson of the Governing Body of Jehovah's Witnesses gave an update to his cult followers. This comes on the heels of a country like Norway taking the cult to task for their shunning policies, something that most Jehovah's Witnesses likely won't even know happened, and a court case that the JWs lost. As a result, funding was cut for their religion. This announcement of theirs was a lot of deflecting and obfuscating to make it look like they don't really shun individuals. They're just trying to help. They are the real victims of shunning, after all, not the people that they shun. However, some exciting things came out of this video, like the ability to say a quick greeting to a shunned person if they come back into their house of worship, the ability for grown women to decide if they want to wear pants or not, and grown men to decide if they want to wear a tie and jacket. When a man that has millions and millions of people hanging on his every word speaks, someone has to acknowledge what was really said, and I say the quiet parts out loud for him. Are you struggling in some area of life? Feeling stuck? Struggling with perfectionism, building a social network, codependency, or feeling like you're not enough? Need an accountability partner or some encouragement? Need to talk to someone that understands cult life? Reach out and let’s talk. I have affordable programs to help as a Cult Recovery Coach. I work with many ex-JWs, along with ex-other groups, and your average person that has never been in a cult that wants better things in their life. Find out more here: https://storyworkscoaching.com I also have an ExJW specific site here: https://exjwhelp.com Please consider supporting the show's Patreon if you appreciate the time, effort, and money that goes into producing these stories at: https://www.patreon.com/shunned You can also join The Uprising Project and get help to grow in your career or small business with a private Facebook group, monthly group coaching call, resources, advertising opportunities, and more at: https://www.patreon.com/shunned Show notes and information on how to be a guest or find other resources for the podcast can be found here: https://shunnedpodcast.com/episodes/ Music provide by Jane and the Boy, entitled Save Myself An ExJW podcast and an ExJW YouTube channel #exjw #jehovahswitnesses #cult

Young Jacob was diagnosed with cancer at just 5 years of age and suddenly found himself in different environments that garnered attention. However, as he would move on throughout his life, Jacob would find himself on the outside looking in, trying to be good enough to qualify to do the things that he saw other Jehovah’s Witnesses doing around him. Jacob discusses these matters, living with autism in the congregation, and how he came to realize that he was raised in a cult. The paper that Jacob wrote about the BITE model and Jehovah’s Witnesses can be found at: https://www.reddit.com/r/exjw/comments/bwi43n/jehovahs_witnesses_religious_cult/?share_id=X6gItqQ6FhpLimP6ExXvf&utm_content=1&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_source=share&utm_term=1 The song that Jacob chose to represent his story is Vindicated by Dashboard Confessional. Support the show by donating to the cause on our Patreon page, Patreon.com/shunned Are you struggling in some area of life? Feeling stuck? Need an accountability partner or some encouragement? Need to talk to someone that understands cult life? Reach out and let’s talk. I have affordable programs to help as a certified life coach. Click HERE for more information. Want more resources? Go to my other website exjwHelp.com You can apply to be included in The Uprising Project, where we will be working to lift the ExJW community financially by bringing new opportunities to it, and get more information at: https://exjwhelp.com/the-uprising-project/ Leave us a review on iTunes Find shunned podcast on Youtube, including new VIDcasts here. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram. You can listen to the Shunned Podcast Spotify playlist here for all of the songs chosen by guests of the show. This podcast was made possible by my original podcast This JW Life. You can find it on any podcast app. It is a 9 part series about life as Jehovah’s Witnesses designed to help you understand how it worked in one comprehensive story and to help you process your own if you came from that environment. Music provided by Jane and the Boy, entitled Save Myself. An ExJW podcast and ExJW YouTube Channel

Through gaslighting, one person or one group of people can become the reality check for an individual, whether that person wanted that reality check or not. A person is systematically broken down, detaching from themselves and attaching to the one doing the gaslighting. Cults often employ gaslighting to get oneness of mind, unity, sameness. Jehovah’s Witnesses don’t just tell you what to think and how you should feel, they also demonize what YOU actually think and how YOU actually feel. Your thoughts and feelings are gradually replaced with theirs, as you start to doubt yourself and look to them to tell you if you’re right or wrong in what you think, feel, and how you want to behave in this world. This is the first in a series where I’ll break down the ways that the cult of Jehovah’s Witnesses is actively breaking individuals down, from what they do to why they do it to the real fruitage that it produces in those impacted by it. Learning what it looks like can help us to see remnants that may lie within ourselves, and perhaps even relationships that we may have kept or gravitated toward in our post-cult lives. Support the show by donating to the cause on our Patreon page, Patreon.com/shunned Are you struggling in some area of life? Feeling stuck? Need an accountability partner or some encouragement? Need to talk to someone that understands cult life? Reach out and let’s talk. I have affordable programs to help as a certified life coach. Click HERE for more information. Want more resources? Go to my other website exjwHelp.com You can apply to be included in The Uprising Project, where we will be working to lift the ExJW community financially by bringing new opportunities to it, and get more information at: https://exjwhelp.com/the-uprising-project/ Leave us a review on iTunes Find shunned podcast on Youtube, including new VIDcasts here. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram. You can listen to the Shunned Podcast Spotify playlist here for all of the songs chosen by guests of the show. This podcast was made possible by my original podcast This JW Life. You can find it on any podcast app. It is a 9 part series about life as Jehovah’s Witnesses designed to help you understand how it worked in one comprehensive story and to help you process your own if you came from that environment. Music provided by Jane and the Boy, entitled Save Myself. An ExJW podcast and ExJW YouTube Channel

Getting baptized as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses is a forever contract with a cult. In Justin’s case, that decision to get dunked in a pool of water was made as a young man, a young man that knew he was gay. Because of that, ultimately he would never be able to be what they wanted him to be. He realized that if he were ever to be disfellowshipped from the cult because he was now an official member and they see being gay as a gross sin, he could now lose contact with his mother, the person that he cared about more than anything. The song that Justin chose to represent his journey is Brand New Me by Alicia Keys. Support the show by donating to the cause on our Patreon page, Patreon.com/shunned Are you struggling in some area of life? Feeling stuck? Need an accountability partner or some encouragement? Need to talk to someone that understands cult life? Reach out and let’s talk. I have affordable programs to help as a certified life coach. Click HERE for more information. Want more resources? Go to my other website exjwHelp.com You can apply to be included in The Uprising Project, where we will be working to lift the ExJW community financially by bringing new opportunities to it, and get more information at: https://exjwhelp.com/the-uprising-project/ Leave us a review on iTunes Find shunned podcast on Youtube, including new VIDcasts here. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram. You can listen to the Shunned Podcast Spotify playlist here for all of the songs chosen by guests of the show. This podcast was made possible by my original podcast This JW Life. You can find it on any podcast app. It is a 9 part series about life as Jehovah’s Witnesses designed to help you understand how it worked in one comprehensive story and to help you process your own if you came from that environment. Music provided by Jane and the Boy, entitled Save Myself. An ExJW podcast and ExJW YouTube Channel

The Covid-19 pandemic brought a lot of change to the world. Many started to wear masks for protection. But for many Jehovah’s Witnesses, their facial freedom was about to be granted as a result of something that is seemingly totally unrelated. Will these bearded brothers continue to grow their beards bred in captivity, or will they eventually become the free range beards that we all wish for them? Only time will tell, but this pandemic left its mark on the formerly fresh faces of these men. Support the show by donating to the cause on our Patreon page, Patreon.com/shunned Are you struggling in some area of life? Feeling stuck? Need an accountability partner or some encouragement? Need to talk to someone that understands cult life? Reach out and let’s talk. I have affordable programs to help as a certified life coach. Click HERE for more information. Want more resources? Go to my other website exjwHelp.com You can apply to be included in The Uprising Project, where we will be working to lift the ExJW community financially by bringing new opportunities to it, and get more information at: https://exjwhelp.com/the-uprising-project/ Leave us a review on iTunes Find shunned podcast on Youtube, including new VIDcasts here. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram. You can listen to the Shunned Podcast Spotify playlist here for all of the songs chosen by guests of the show. This podcast was made possible by my original podcast This JW Life. You can find it on any podcast app. It is a 9 part series about life as Jehovah’s Witnesses designed to help you understand how it worked in one comprehensive story and to help you process your own if you came from that environment. Music provided by Jane and the Boy, entitled Save Myself. An ExJW podcast and ExJW YouTube Channel

Finding a way out of a cult is one of the hardest things that a human can do. To find one’s own way free, to take a stand against everything you’ve ever known while knowing that it will cost you dearly, is hard. For many it costs them their entire family, and in this episode I talk with a couple that made it out together. That comes with its own unique challenges, and Natasha and Ben were open in discussing their struggles and victories along this path. Under the cover of Zoom meetings held during the height of Covid, Ben saw a path out of the cult of Jehovah’s Witnesses. Listen to find out what that path was and how both of them found their way to freedom. The song that Natasha chose to represent her journey is New Beginnings by Moonlight Scorpio, Equanimous, and Nyrus. The song that Ben chose to represent his journey is Anthem Part 2 by Blink 182. Support the show by donating to the cause on our Patreon page, Patreon.com/shunned Are you struggling in some area of life? Feeling stuck? Need an accountability partner or some encouragement? Need to talk to someone that understands cult life? Reach out and let’s talk. I have affordable programs to help as a certified life coach. Click HERE for more information. Want more resources? Go to my other website exjwHelp.com You can apply to be included in The Uprising Project, where we will be working to lift the ExJW community financially by bringing new opportunities to it, and get more information at: https://exjwhelp.com/the-uprising-project/ Leave us a review on iTunes Find shunned podcast on Youtube, including new VIDcasts here. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram. You can listen to the Shunned Podcast Spotify playlist here for all of the songs chosen by guests of the show. This podcast was made possible by my original podcast This JW Life. You can find it on any podcast app. It is a 9 part series about life as Jehovah’s Witnesses designed to help you understand how it worked in one comprehensive story and to help you process your own if you came from that environment. Music provided by Jane and the Boy, entitled Save Myself. An ExJW podcast and ExJW YouTube Channel

Many people don’t realize that Jehovah’s Witnesses were among the many that were persecuted and brutally murdered by the German Nazi Party. Growing up, this was put to me as both a source of unusual pride but was also used to instill fear in me that someday this would likely happen again… to us, because it was always about us. We were told many JW centered stories about the event, and although I always knew intellectually that it was primarily the Jewish people that were targeted, it always felt like the event was really focused on us as Jehovah’s Witnesses. A trip in 2023 to St. Louis, and a spontaneous visit to the Kaplan Feldman Holocaust Museum that we didn’t know existed until we were there, sparked a lot of feelings about that event and the portrayal of it by the cult of Jehovah’s Witnesses. This is my personal experience. Support the show by donating to the cause on our Patreon page, Patreon.com/shunned Are you struggling in some area of life? Feeling stuck? Need an accountability partner or some encouragement? Need to talk to someone that understands cult life? Reach out and let’s talk. I have affordable programs to help as a certified life coach. Click HERE for more information. Want more resources? Go to my other website exjwHelp.com You can apply to be included in The Uprising Project, where we will be working to lift the ExJW community financially by bringing new opportunities to it, and get more information at: https://exjwhelp.com/the-uprising-project/ Leave us a review on iTunes Find shunned podcast on Youtube, including new VIDcasts here. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram. You can listen to the Shunned Podcast Spotify playlist here for all of the songs chosen by guests of the show. This podcast was made possible by my original podcast This JW Life. You can find it on any podcast app. It is a 9 part series about life as Jehovah’s Witnesses designed to help you understand how it worked in one comprehensive story and to help you process your own if you came from that environment. Music provided by Jane and the Boy, entitled Save Myself. An ExJw podcast

Tana was raised in a home where her parents weren’t on the same page. Her mother, a devout participant in the cult of Jehovah’s Witnesses, raised her to follow that path. Her father, a racist man that struggled with alcohol and rode bikes, clearly had other views of life. These differences caused her tremendous problems growing up, but when a blood transfusion was needed for a 15 year old and disfellowshipped Tana after a horrific accident, it was Tana’s father that came in to save the day. The song that Tana chose to represent her journey is Closer by Goapele. Support the show by donating to the cause on our Patreon page, Patreon.com/shunned Are you struggling in some area of life? Feeling stuck? Need an accountability partner or some encouragement? Need to talk to someone that understands cult life? Reach out and let’s talk. I have affordable programs to help as a certified life coach. Click HERE for more information. Want more resources? Go to my other website exjwHelp.com You can apply to be included in The Uprising Project, where we will be working to lift the ex-JW community financially by bringing new opportunities to it, and get more information at: https://exjwhelp.com/the-uprising-project/ Leave us a review on iTunes Find shunned podcast on Youtube, including new VIDcasts here. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram. You can listen to the Shunned Podcast Spotify playlist here for all of the songs chosen by guests of the show. This podcast was made possible by my original podcast This JW Life. You can find it on any podcast app. It is a 9 part series about life as Jehovah’s Witnesses designed to help you understand how it worked in one comprehensive story and to help you process your own if you came from that environment. Music provided by Jane and the Boy, entitled Save Myself.

Behold the tale of the Smurf doll and the Kingdom Hall. A legend told by adult Jehovah’s Witnesses that made it across the United States and to other continents as well. Learn about this legend, and share your own stories of demons and fear promoted by the cult below in the comments. Support the show by donating to the cause on our Patreon page, Patreon.com/shunned   Are you struggling in some area of life? Feeling stuck? Need an accountability partner or some encouragement? Need to talk to someone that understands cult life? Reach out and let’s talk. I have affordable programs to help as a certified life coach. Click HERE for more information. Want more resources? Go to my other website exjwHelp.com You can apply to be included in The Uprising Project, where we will be working to lift the ex-JW community financially by bringing new opportunities to it, and get more information at: https://exjwhelp.com/the-uprising-project/ Leave us a review on iTunes Find shunned podcast on Youtube, including new VIDcasts here. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram. You can listen to the Shunned Podcast Spotify playlist here for all of the songs chosen by guests of the show. This podcast was made possible by my original podcast This JW Life. You can find it on any podcast app. It is a 9 part series about life as Jehovah’s Witnesses designed to help you understand how it worked in one comprehensive story and to help you process your own if you came from that environment. Music provided by Jane and the Boy, entitled Save Myself.