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slanderhour
Author: slanderhour
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A weekly pre-sleep, post-thought audio play investigating the nature of latent boredom and the strip-mining of emotional bereavement.
Semi is written & performed by Mark Simpson, Garth Simmons and Jim-John Harkness, and is produced by Stephen Landerhour for BBC Sounds.
Semi is written & performed by Mark Simpson, Garth Simmons and Jim-John Harkness, and is produced by Stephen Landerhour for BBC Sounds.
138 Episodes
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and in the moment of silence,i search for my forsaken voice,buried somewhere,far and adrift,under the summit of sufferings,the rivers of rage,under trampled dreams,under the mottled page,the voice so aloof,i have forgotten it so well,the past of calamity,only if i had a voice; i could tell
You are asThe silver moonlightWhich with its graceDances on the surface of this lake.You, who penetrates my depthsAnd ripples into my beingCausing waves to quake.I will be your shelter,In my open armsI will be your rest.I will be as the caves of old,Within me you may find peaceFrom the raging tempest of the world.You may shutter your eyes and dream,For the fire will remainEven if to fuel it, I must burn.
In smoky halls where shadows dance,
There strides a man with flair and stance.
With saxophone in hand, he's seen,
Shane Ritchie, the jazz machine.
His fingers glide on keys so fine,
A melody born from his mind's design.
Each note he plays, a tale untold,
In his jazz world, he's bold and bold.
His voice, a velvet, smooth and low,
Sings of love lost and nights aglow.
The rhythm flows through every chord,
In Shane Ritchie, jazz is adored.
In every riff, a story's spun,
Of midnight dreams beneath the sun.
With passion deep and soul so pure,
Shane Ritchie's jazz will endure.
There once was a scientist named Kelly
Whose name was made famous quite quickly
He spoke on the radio
About WMDs, you know
But then he was found dead in on a hilly
In childhood's realm, young Barrymore did dwell,
A world apart, where trials and hardships swelled.
No tender hands to guide him on life's path,
Alone he wandered, facing nature's wrath.
With naught but strength and grit as his allies,
He forged ahead beneath the open skies.
No sheltered haven, no familial care,
Yet in his heart, a fire burned, aware.
Through solitary hours, his spirit grew,
A resilient bloom, steadfast and true.
He learned to navigate life's turbulent tide,
As independence became his faithful guide.
In iambic pentameter's rhythmic sway,
The tale of Barrymore's youth takes its play.
A child untamed, but with a noble flame,
He braved the storms, each challenge he overcame.
Though trials marked his path in early years,
His spirit soared above all doubts and fears.
In each footfall, a tale of strength untold,
A young soul destined to break the mold.
So let us ponder, in poetic rhyme,
The resilience of Barrymore's early time.
A child of fortitude, his own beacon bright,
Who forged a path, defying starless night.
In the spotlight's gaze, Michael Barrymore stood,
A figure of laughter, a king of the hood.
With charm and wit, he graced the TV screen,
A maestro of entertainment, a living dream.
His laughter contagious, a gift he shared,
A jester of joy, he truly cared.
From game shows to variety, his talents unfurled,
Delighting audiences, across the wide world.
But shadows cast their veil on his life,
As troubles emerged, piercing like a knife.
Adversity struck, tarnishing his name,
A fall from grace, a tarnished flame.
Yet through it all, a flicker remains,
A man of resilience, enduring the strains.
For in his heart, redemption may reside,
A chance for renewal, a rising tide.
Let us remember the laughter he brought,
The moments of mirth, the battles fought.
For within every soul, there lies a tale,
Of triumph and struggle, of strength that won't fail.
So, let us reflect on Michael's journey untold,
With empathy and compassion, let our hearts unfold.
For amidst the highs and lows that he's seen,
Michael Barrymore, a complex human being.
So it goes, dear listener, that among the myriad of things that sets man apart from his animal counterparts is the gift of gab and the mastery of language. To be a man is to be a creature of speech and discourse.
The art of conversation holds a significant role in our lives. It can ease our sorrows and afflictions, amplify our delights and jubilations, and enhance our understanding of the world. Indeed, conversation is a powerful tool that allows us to convey our thoughts, emotions, and experiences with great significance. It is a valuable vehicle that propels us forward on our journey of self-discovery and communal growth.
Garth meets a priest.
Public transport drama.
Garth and his friend have a difference of opinion.
Exploring the SUBconscious
Other things
Your face did not rot
like the others—the co-pilot,
for example, I saw him
yesterday. His face is corn-
mush: his wife and daughter,
the poor ignorant people, stare
as if he will compose soon.
He was more wronged than Job.
But your face did not rot
like the others—it grew dark,
and hard like ebony;
the features progressed in their
distinction. If I could cajole
you to come back for an evening,
down from your compulsive
orbiting, I would touch you,
read your face as Dallas,
your hoodlum gunner, now,
with the blistered eyes, reads
his braille editions. I would
touch your face as a disinterested
scholar touches an original page.
However frightening, I would
discover you, and I would not
turn you in; I would not make
you face your wife, or Dallas,
or the co-pilot, Jim. You
could return to your crazy
orbiting, and I would not try
to fully understand what
it means to you. All I know
is this: when I see you,
as I have seen you at least
once every year of my life,
spin across the wilds of the sky
like a tiny, African god,
I feel dead. I feel as if I were
the residue of a stranger’s life,
that I should pursue you.
My head cocked toward the sky,
I cannot get off the ground,
and, you, passing over again,
fast, perfect, and unwilling
to tell me that you are doing
well, or that it was mistake
that placed you in that world,
and me in this; or that misfortune
placed these worlds in us.
Love me, use me, Never let me go.
Quench this unbearable thirst, this fire in my soul.
...
Use me, hate me, ravage me, destroy me,
As long as in the end you promise to hold me in your arms and love me.
...
Grab my neck and pull my hair only keens and moans will be gotten from there.
...
Stroke me like a harp, pluck me like a live wire string.
Tighten me up, and snap me so I scream.
...
Fill me, tempt me, push me, pull me.
Throw me to the bed and make me sing
...
Hold me down and shatter me,
Pick me apart, and rebuild me made just for you.
...
You met me a cracked photo frame empty and useless,
Now fixed, filled full with only your image.
...
Please don't leave me I promise to obey!
Hold me apart so my pieces don't stray,
Here in you arms Sir forever I will stay.
The jolt that comes to bones
inside a tumbled streetcar
is what the painter considers
as she strokes her-
self into story. There is
less to the jolt that
comes as he shuts his eyes
before the monitor, save
what he imagines—a lightning
bolt, a god tapping
the shoulder. He imagines the
sky swelling
with ceiling fans or the
guano of extinct birds,
a jolt riding from his
shoulder
blades to his eyelids,
dropping with roller
coaster clacks to his
fingers. Here, he dreams of Frida
Kahlo. Here, he says, let me
spread my flesh out like a
table linen, let my bones be
silver that touches,
making, again, that clack. My
skull will be a glass,
set properly, I have class
enough. What jolt is
it to chew over class, his
body set before him as
a reader sips (perhaps) a
glass of something heady? We give
books spines, we break them.
The table will have
its legs, its head. The body
is upon us. Does the table have
a stomach? Is it simply there
to bear our hunger
without its own, like a
eunuch bathing a stripper?
What is the poet without eyes
or ears—reading, listening? He is
a platform—a place to set,
that to set it with. And if this is
all, what will he do when the
reader finishes a glass,
rises from the poet’s head,
and passes
into the city? Covered with a
linen, he is waiting for
something to spill, perhaps a
girl in Mexico rolling
her ankle in a street-
car.
I took my life and threw it on the skip,Reckoning the next-door neighbours wouldn’t mindIf my life hitched a lift to the council tipWith their dry rot and rubble. What you find
With skips is – the whole community joins in.Old mattresses appear, doors kind of driftAlong with all that won’t fit in the binAnd what the bin-men can’t be fished to shift.
I threw away my life, and there it layAnd grew quite sodden. `What a dreadful shame,’Clucked some old bag and sucked her teeth: ‘The wayThe young these days … no values … me, I blame…’
But I blamed no one. Quality controlHad loused it up, and that was that.‘Nough said. I couldn’t stick at home. I took a strollAnd passed the skip, and left my life for dead.
Without my life, the beer was just as foul,The landlord still as filthy as his wife,The chicken in the basket was an owl,And no one said: `Ee, Jim-lad, whur’s thee life?’
Well, I got back that night the worse for wear,But still just capable of single vision ;Looked in the skip; my life – it wasn’t there!Some bugger’d nicked it – without my permission.
Okay, so I got angry and beganTo shout, and woke the street. Okay. Okay!And I was sick all down the neighbour’s van.And I disgraced myself on the par-kay.
And then … you know how if you’ve had a fewYou’ll wake at dawn, all healthy, like sea breezes,Raring to go, and thinking: `Clever you!You’ve got away with it.’ And then, oh Jesus,
It hits you. Well, that morning, just at sixI woke, got up and looked down at the skip.There lay my life, still sodden, on the bricks;There lay my poor old life, arse over tip.
Or was it mine? Still dressed, I went downstairsAnd took a long cool look. The truth was dawning.Someone had just exchanged my life for theirs.Poor fool, I thought – I should have left a warning.
Some bastard saw my life and thought it nicerThan what he had. Yet what he’d had seemed fine.He’d never caught his fingers in the slicerThe way I’d managed in that life of mine.
His life lay glistening in the rain, neglected,Yet still a decent, an authentic life.Some people I can think of, I reflectedWould take that thing as soon as you’d say Knife.
It seemed a shame to miss a chance like that.I brought the life in, dried it by the stove.It looked so fetching, stretched out on the mat.I tried it on. It fitted, like a glove.
And now, when some local bat drops off the twigAnd new folk take the house, and pull up floorsAnd knock down walls and hire some kind of bigContainer (say, a skip) for their old doors,
I’ll watch it like a hawk, and every dayI’ll make at least – oh – half a dozen trips.I’ve furnished an existence in that way.You’d not believe the things you find on skips
Breaktime, I'll write something for you
Breakfast or lunch, I think of you
Birds outside the window, chirp at me
Birds of the same feather, follow me
Be it short or long, poem I write you
Braided or craze, your hair, I describe you
Below or over my head I scribble for you
Beaten or scrambled egg, I'll fry for you
Better late than never
Bread or butter I will serve you ever
Brevity in my poems I pen so tender
Bending or standing, I'll never surrender
Bright or dim lights will aid my bleary eyes
Blunder or sentimental, my heart for you never die
Earlestown is named after Sir Hardman Earle (11 July 1792 – 25 January 1877) a slave owner whose family was steeped in the slave trade. He was the Chairman of the London and North Western Railway.
Earlestown Town Hall is an imposing building, fronted by a war memorial. In 1962 the Beatles visited Earlestown for a night gig and played at the town hall. On the same night Newton Boys Club on Graffton Street was opened by Frankie Vaughan for the local community.[6]
Another significant building included the art-deco former Curzon cinema which was demolished in January 2010.
Earlestown has a small but busy town centre with many shops including high-street outlets such as Tesco, Boots, Wilko and several high street banks alongside independent retailers, bookmakers and fast-food takeaways. There are a range of traditional pubs, such as The New Market, The Ram's Head, The Railway Inn, The Griffin, and The Wellington. Earlestown is well served by many fast food outlets offering a good range of Indian and Chinese dishes as well as fish and chips and the ubiquitous McDonald's. Most of the local restaurants are curry houses; Earlestown's 'curry quarter-of-a-mile' on Queen Street has three Indian restaurants and a Tandoori take-away.
How little it takes to stain the character.
A single drop of ink is a very small thing,
yet dipped into a tumbler of clean water,
it blackens the whole.
And so the first oath, the first lie,
the first glass of drink, seem very small things,
yet leave a dark stain upon the character.
Look out for the first stain.
When first I came down Yorkshire,
Not many years ago.
I met with a little Yorkshire lass,
And I'd have you know,
That she was so blithe, so buxom,
So beautiful and gay,
Now listen while I tell you,
What he Daddy used to say.
Oh treat me daughter decent,
Don't do her any harm.
And when I die I'll leave you both,
Me tiny little farm.
Me cow, me pigs, me sheep, me goats,
Me stock, me field and barn.
And all the little chickens in the garden
Well first I came to court the girl,
She was awful shy.
She never said a blooming word,
When other folks was by.
But as soon as we were on our own,
She bade me to name the day,
Now listen while I tell you,
What he Daddy used to say.
Oh treat me daughter decent,
Don't do her any harm.
And when I die I'll leave you both,
Me tiny little farm.
Me cow, me pigs, me sheep, me goats,
Me stock, me field and barn.
And all the little chickens in the garden
Well at last I wed this Yorkshire lass,
So pleasing to me mind,
And I did prove true to her,
So she's proved true in kind.
We have three bairns, there grown up now.
There's a grandbairn on the way.
And when I look into their eyes,
I can hear their grandaddy say
Oh treat me daughter decent,
Don't do her any harm.
And when I die I'll leave you both,
Me tiny little farm.
Me cow, me pigs, me sheep, me goats,
Me stock, me field and barn.
And all the little chickens in the garden.
the clearing was large enough to fit about twelve of your Lion King themed picnic blankets without coming close to the forest’s edge. I thought about bringing you out there and telling you that and then I remembered that you got rid of the blanket 2 months ago when your new boyfriend said that Lion King was overrated and the blanket had too many holes in it. I would never have the guts to tell you this in person but maybe someday you’ll come across this poem and know that if you ever want to spread out 12 new Lion King themed picnic blankets in a clearing I will be there with chicken salad sandwiches and 6 of those pineapple cinnamon ciders you love.
My brother,
is a wonderful guy.
Even though
he’s a little bit shy
My brother,
is a wonderful guy.
He’s funny and smart,
I cannot deny.
He understands,
the art of the of persuasion.
And is ready to use it,
at every occasion.
He’s one of those guys,
that is interesting and unique.
With his original style,
he’s one cool geek.
Always determined,
to achieve any goal.
Blesses so many,
with his beautiful soul.
My brother,
is a wonderful guy.
I love him a lot,
I’m not gonna lie.
Oh Venerable Zeus, grant Persephone’s petition to retain Adonis!
I, as Queen of the Underworld, can
Protect his charming body from vicious men
It is here where he found his safest den
Here I’ll protect his flesh from being stricken
Oh Venerable Zeus, grant Persephone’s petition to retain Adonis!
I, as keeper of this handsome lad since his childhood
Seeks for him nothing, but everything that’s good
It is his well-being that lights up my mood
I’ll badly be hurt when he’s hurt by someone shrewd
Oh Venerable Zeus, grant Persephone’s petition to retain Adonis!
Shrewd is his rival for the love of Aphrodite
He will be in great danger with her, can’t see?
Surely from Ares wrath, he’ll experience something nasty
And also with the god of fire, he’ll surely die violently!
Oh Venerable Zeus, grant Persephone’s petition to retain Adonis!
Have mercy! Have mercy! To this youth so fine!
Have mercy! Have mercy! To this youth of mine!
To deadly earth above, don’t allow him to incline
If this bad fate happens, my eyes will emit brine
Oh Venerable Zeus, grant Persephone’s petition to retain Adonis!
Witness me mourn for the loss of this lad!
Do you want the Queen of the Dead to feel bad?
If Adonis is gone, my brain will also be mad!
Oh Venerable Zeus, grant Persephone’s petition to retain Adonis!
From this sanctuary, do not take him away
Do not let my life be in disarray
To make him remain here, tell me the way
I bow, I kneel, I prostrate, I pray!
A day in Afghanistan is like a week at home.
Ross Kemp























