stream of consciousWes

thanks for listening

thanks for listening

This is a conversation I had with my grandfather, Amp, my mother's father. I recorded us on a whim after a family gathering to celebrate my return to Iowa after a year-long road trip back in 2021. 4 years later and a lot has changed in my life and in Amp's life. I moved back to Iowa in October 24' to be closer to him and to the rest of my family. I was able to be a caregiver for him several times a week for about 6 months before he moved into a memory-care unit in mid March 25'. He has had some rapid decline in his ability to walk and balance, he has also become regularly confused and forgetful. He passed away on April 27th, 2025. I was able to be there in the hospital with Nani for about a day as he slowly and without pain passed away. I had no idea the way things would unfold when we recorded this conversation years ago. He sounds so incredibly full of life and I am absolutely filled with gratitude that I have this recording of his stories and his personality.I have discovered an interest and calling to work in end-of-life care. This conversation is very meaningful to me because it feels like I captured a part of Amp's essence, his personality, his charm. He is who he is, and I love every bit of him. Thanks for listening and finding some beauty in these stories from my grandfather.

thanks for slowing down, taking some deep breaths, and listening to this episode about money, society, desire, community, and just like life. :)

it's okay to start something and not finish it. to do a workout one time. to paint a painting and not want to paint again for years. to read a few pages of a book. to make a healthy meal and not want to make it again. to go to a yoga class and not go back. to post a video and not want to create a content schedule to post more. to follow your intuition and your interests as they are TODAY. tomorrow is not the time to become your best self, today is the time to live with intention.

You believe that your future holds so much potential and then it becomes the present and you have to act on your ideas of who you want to be and what you want to accomplish. This can become an experience that leads to a lack of trust in yourself. Providing evidence over and over again that you fail at becoming what you have the potential to become.Go easier on yourself. Break everything down into smaller pieces. Do one thing today that will feel good to have done when you look at it tomorrow. Start with little wins.00:00 Managing Time11:22 Internet Spaces and Communities15:42 Local communities22:16 Big media and advertising31:07 capitalism & gambling50:42 sports betting as faux investing54:50 hoards of money are stagnant01:02:00 TLDR01:04:46 Outro

are our creative efforts our own under capitalism? must we transform our individual artistic efforts into a business plan to survive? this is a common predicament humans find themselves in these days.lets discuss :)

keeping up with and forming friendships these days feels incredibly difficult to manage. our lives have become more and more isolated as going out becomes more expensive and we become more familiar with a lifestyle and routine of staying in our homes and our little bubbles.

Share with others when your cup runneth over. Acknowledge when the time you spend in isolation isn’t serving you. We all need rest, but if all we do is rest and unwind and destress in our own lil comfortable nests, it starts to isolate us from the stuff that fills up our cups. Don’t worry about what it looks like to others when you try something new. Don’t hate your body to get yourself in the gym. Don’t despise the time spent scrolling social media in order to get off your phone. Don’t look towards the things you want to eliminate to find your motivation for new actions. Honor your past and your ‘mistakes’ and let them inspire your art. AND REMEMBER: WHO YOU ARE RIGHT NOW IS GOOD ENOUGH! IF YOU NEVER BECOME A ‘BETTER’ VERSION OF YOU, YOU ARE STILL WORTHY OF LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE. YOU DO NOT NEED TO CHANGE YOURSELF OR WHAT YOU DO TO BE AN AMAZING PERSON, PARTNER, FRIEND, FAMILY MEMBER, AND HUMAN. love yall this video inspired by: ace of cups the lovers reversed 2 of swords reversed 4 of swords 6 of pentacles 7 of wands the sun the fool

One of my strengths is my ability to narrate and observe. This is how I discovered the power of tarot. This is how I discovered freestyle rapping and improvisational creation. In my expression and story-telling about what I’m going through, I hope that you can hear something that helps you to shine a light on your own life. This episode starts off talking about jobs and having to draw boundaries or figure out if where we’re currently at is where we want to stay. And if we want to pull the trigger on starting a new job or new opportunity, we often will have to put an end to what we are doing right now. And that, for me, is daunting. It has been very common for me to get a job and just stay there until I move to a new city, which I have done every few years for the past decade. The way we interact with our employers can often mimic how we interacted with the elders in our lives as children. Showing respect, doing as we are told, being expected to quietly go about our business without making waves I’m the status quo. “Stick to the status quoooooo-ooooo-oooooo” as they said in High School Musical. So I am excited to be met with new opportunities to advocate for myself, and that means facing my fear of letting people down as I start becoming more aware of my desires and trusting my intuition to guide me to the things that are meant for me. Thanks for listening.

art exists in so many forms. I often feel bound to do what ive already done, to do the kind of art I chose to do as a teen. It feels easy to let my past guide me to the choices and options I think I’m already good at. Being a beginner is intimidating and I think it can feel harder and harder as we get older. SO get out there and experiment. Draw a picture of your dog and then another one and another one and another one. Sing along to your favorite song and memorize the lyrics and harmonize and belt it out with all your heart. DO a puzzle. Cook a meal that youve never had before. Write a long letter to your grandmother and send it in the mail. Make a collage. do something just for the sake of being in the moment of creation. I love you! thanks for watching check out my other episodes and follow me @consciouswes on insta and tiktok :)

ITS NOT AS SERIOUS AS I TEND TO THINK

honoring a honey bee’s life, commentary of cultural masculinity and emotions, some fun freestyles. Tune in for a great ‘sode :)

life is beautiful and SO ARE YOU. dont forget it! This episode is about my creativity, my flow, my freestyles! so listen in because you’re in for a treat! who knows where we’re going but let’s have a good time on the journey! lol

today is made of choices. so was yesterday. so is tomorrow. it doesn’t have to be any bigger than that.

it’s easy to get caught up in the idea of what we thought was going to happen. and when our feelings and energy levels differ from that we might feel like we aren’t living up to who we should be. let’s instead just honor how we’re feeling I’m this moment and think about what we could do to honor and assist our current state of being.

who you are is enough. all you gotta do is follow your interests. give stuff a shot. see how it feels. see what you’re capable of. easier said than done. don’t let others get you down.

presence doesn’t demand our attention the way other stuff does. we deserve some peace and quiet sometimes.

dare to dream

we adjust to a change in our environment. we can choose to slowly inch our way into the newness or we can cannonball. either way, we have agency in how to approach the transitions I’m our lives. let’s not take any hour for granted, we don’t even get a million of them.