Is social media making us more disconnected? š Is social media addiction now just āthe way it isā? š When was the last time you were bored? š„± In this special guest episode, Khema (@khema.1) and Nalanda (@nal.jakjan) chat with our friend Asanga about the vortex that is social media and our technological devices. We talk about conscious consumption and output of content, to add to the important and developing conversation on social media in this day and age š»š± Our guest Asanga is a Sri-Lankan Australian who grew up in the south east suburbs of Naarm. He currently is based on Ngunawal Country and works in public policy. He has a deep passion for advocating for multicultural young people having worked and volunteered for a number of youth advocacy and service delivery organisations. You can frequently find him tinkering with his camera or trying to improve a wayward jump shot. Timestamps (00:56) Introduction to Asanga (03:01) What is your relationship with social media? (03:46) Asangaās relationship with social media (07:06) Different uses for social media (08:31) Nalandaās relationship with social media (11:40) How do you handle triggering content? (14:06) Khemaās relationship with social media (15:58) Sutrayana vs Vajrayana (16:38) Not censoring content and observing how your mind reacts (17:20) Different avenues for content consumption (19:04) The algorithm can hijack you (and your senses) (20:08) Conscious consumption (20:39) Not looking at Instagram stories (22:36) We are settling for mediocre connections (23:50) But we are also conNECTED AF (26:27) Superficiality of content (27:40) An outlet for DNMs (29:34) Micro-rejections, praise and blame (32:32) Posting for yourself > for others (35:33) Not quantifying memories (36:23) You have to be prepared for feedback (37:56) A powerful tool for social impact (40:01) Delivering the positive impacts of social media (e.g. BeReal) (42:48) Our relationships with our devices (50:30) When was the last time you were bored? (51:42) Being glued to your device is socially acceptable (52:33) Restraint from consuming content (53:05) Society catering to our phone addictions (54:07) How loneliness shows up under anesthesia (55:00) Not being on your device is unusual (55:55) Aimless scrolling (56:36) Strategies to limit use of device (58:31) Downtimes and holidays (01:02:20) No phones at the temple Ā References The Rejected Generation: how weāre being shut out, and what itās doing to us (Microrejections) Gen Z is lonely ā hereās how it shows under anesthesia ā Dr. Kaveh Sabbath and the Art of Rest Substack The Eight Worldly Conditions Ā Follow us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/uawake_podcast DM us if you have questions, comments or a topic you want us to talk about in a future episode! This episode was recorded in 2023. Ā For any words said negligently or that may have caused offence, we ask for the listenerās forgiveness and take full responsibility.
šØ Trigger warning: suicide, loneliness, depression šØ Jaded (adj.) The end result of having a steady flow of negative experiences, disappointment, and unfulfilment fed into a person where they get to the point where their anger circuits just sort of burn out and they accept disillusionment. If you have reached this stage in your life, congratulations! You are well and truly a full-fledged adult! šš»šš»šš» Jokes aside, as we grow older, itās hard not to feel jaded as the Disney-induced rose-tinted glasses start coming off and the harsh realities of life set inš¹šš Tune in to Nalanda (@nal.jakjan) and Khema (@khema.1) chat about the hard-to-swallow pills in life, from losing relationships to existential loneliness, with advice from our Ajahn. Ā Timestamps (01:06) Jaded about friendships (02:21) Over-dependence (03:16) Rock bottom (07:00) Self-reliance (08:14) Trust issues (09:40) Ajahnās triple-0 (10:42) Giving without expectation (12:19) The jadedness doesnāt benefit you (12:51) Donāt blame other people if you didnāt communicate properly (13:14) People have a right to be selfish (14:04) Itās hard to ask for help (15:41) Family, career, partner > friends (17:14) Nothing has changed, itās the view that needs to change (17:42) False sense of security (19:08) Dhamma offers another way (19:17) No expectations > low expectations (20:09) Most of the time peopleās actions say more about them than about us (21:17) Taking kindness personally turns into entitlement (22:25) No āpersonalā relationships (25:05) Peopleās actions have to do with their qualities (25:25) Needing to feel special and seeking out emotionally unavailable people (26:47) Needing someone during really dire situations (27:13) Family ties (29:20) The vulnerability of disability and losing independence (31:42) Identifications challenged (33:00) There are people out there who have it harder (but donāt dismiss yourself) (35:15) Step 1: Acknowledging that I am helpless right now (37:02) Karma is changeable (37:56) Happy endings (38:23) Enough of Samsara (39:21) Suffered enough (41:07) Sitting with the discomfort (42:04) Burning room (44:47) Weāre all just on painkillers (45:12) Family bonds are different (46:25) There is a happiness that is permanent and lasting (47:13) Reality is daunting (47:55) Listen to the whispers (aka intuition) (48:50) A hundred lifetimes of men (49:52) āYou can call me anytimeā (51:13) Anna Akana (52:18) Psychotherapy vs Dhamma (57:24) The other shore is probably so much better tbh (58:45) Everyone else is suffering too (01:00:00) Youāre playing god for yourself (01:01:25) Escaping life and the fear of death Ā References Vaį¹į¹aka Paritta: The Baby Quail's Protection The Buddhaās Relationship Advice by Ajahn Thanissaro For When the World Canāt Help You by Ajahn Thanissaro Why I stopped drinking by Anna AkanaHow to validate yourself by Anna Akana Ā Ā Follow us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/uawake_podcast Ā DM us if you have questions, comments or a topic you want us to talk about in a future episode! Ā This episode was recorded in 2023. Ā For any words said negligently or that may have caused offence, we ask for the listenerās forgiveness and take full responsibility.
Ahhh, the Five Preceptsā¦ the bread and butter of Buddhism šš§ Are they cut-and-dried rules or are there āloopholesā? What do you do if you break a precept? Whatās the point of keeping sÄ«la (morality) anyway? Is it EVER okay to lie? And will a tiny sip of alcohol really harm anybody? In this episode Khema (@khema.1) and Nalanda (@nal.jakjan) share their practice of the precepts, stories of when their sÄ«la practice was tested, and reflections on this simple but incredibly profound teaching. š Ā Timestamps (00:49) Wim Hof Breathing (04:16) Motivation for the episode (04:48) Khemaās relationship with sÄ«la (07:39) Nalandaās relationship with sÄ«la (09:37) Ajahn Dtun on sÄ«la (12:03) āLoopholesā in sÄ«la practice? (14:00) Itās a training, not a performance (15:40) SÄ«la as a lifestyle (16:46) Gentleness when you make mistakes (17:12) It aināt a sin (17:57) āI undertake this trainingā¦ā (19:01) Rising up to occasions that test your sÄ«la (20:13) āThis is what normal people doā (21:30) Sila = Brahmaviharas (23:18) Story #1: Skilful speech (Valentineās Day drama!!) (30:50) Story #2: Copyrights (33:37) Story #3: Alcohol in food (41:14) Trusting the Buddha & wise shame (42:25) Finding the middle (43:06) What about swearing?? (45:18) Integrity uplifts the mind (46:13) SÄ«la makes you a safe person (47:11) The Five Precepts ARE the higher Dhamma (48:43) SÄ«la is letting go of ego (51:50) Going against the stream (53:11) Thought experiment: Imagine if everyone kept the Five Preceptsā¦ Ā References Damianās breath group: Yarra Valley Breath & Cold Connection Wim Hof Method Vinaya (Buddhist Monastic Code) https://accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/thanissaro/bmc1.pdf https://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/thanissaro/bmc2.pdf?ref=opendharma.com The Five Precepts (Access to Insight) Follow us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/uawake_podcast DM us if you have questions, comments or a topic you want us to talk about in a future episode! This episode was recorded in 2023. For any words said negligently or that may have caused offence, we ask the listener's forgiveness and take full responsibility.
When you hear the term āself-loveā, you think bubble baths, manicures, ice cream. šš šØWeāve discovered after some years of experimenting that, no, it is not, in fact, about bubble baths, manicures and ice cream - itās about being a friend to yourself š„° This is actually the practice of mettÄ or loving-kindness, which is an important foundation of the practice. We feel itās not talked about enough so we are! Tune in to hear Khema (@khema.1) and Nalanda (@nalanda.jakjan) discuss loneliness, independence, self-empathy and mettÄ š Timestamps (00:48) - Catch-up (03:33) - Motivation for the episode (06:11) - Gentleness in the practice (07:42) - Loneliness (08:35) - Advice from Ajahns (11:45) - Self-love, self-empathy (13:47) - Fill your own cup first (14:48) - Like a friend would (15:27) - Notice the way yoau talk to yourself (19:25) - Like serving a client (22:12) - Glitches in the mind (23:16) - You canāt do this practice without metta (26:12) - Being intense but also having metta?? (27:45) - The criticiser and the critised (29:37) - Independence is a quality of the stream-enterer (30:52) - You seek out what you lack (31:31) - Being independent vs needing support (35:33) - AttÄ hi attano nÄtho (36:41) - What if you have a negative personality? References: - Dhammapada verse 160 - Upaddha Sutta Resources: - Virtual Metta Retreat (series) by Ajahn Sona Follow us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/uawake_podcast DM us if you have questions, comments or a topic you want us to talk about! This episode was recorded in 2023. For any words said negligently or that may have caused offence, we ask the listenerās forgiveness and take full responsibility.
Todayās episode is a long-awaited catch up episode recorded at the end of last year in 2022 with Khema (@khema.1) in Malaysia and Nalanda (@nalanda.jakjan) in Thailand. We finally have the opportunity to share this episode with you all and this time in video format! The episode features stories from Nalandaās trip to Chiangmai in November 2022, visiting Thai forest monks in the North, learning about the history of the places that she visited with the Vimokkharam committee and our Ajahn, Ajahn HÄsapaƱƱo. Timestamps: (1:28) - Food poisoning (8:51) - Reflections on Thailand vs. Melbourne (10:04) - Chiangmai Trip (10:13) - Wat Dhammasanti (Luang Pu Insom) (12:25) - Wat Tham Dok Kham (Ajahn Mun) (12:40) - Wat Pah Achan Man Phurithatto (Luang Por Moo) (13:21) - Wat Pah Kantitham (Luang Por Lai) (14:01) - Wat Pah Panyawuttharam (Prah Ajahn Khemanando) (17:21) - Places where Ajahn HÄsapaƱƱo tudonged. (17:40) - Phrao market (18:02) - Hill tribe people (20:01) - Wat Doi Mae Pang (20:36) - Wat Pah Nanachat (21:02) - Ajahn Sumedho (22:45) - The Hard Drive (25:14) - Nalanda's string of bad luck (25:25) - Birds (27:24) - Luang Pu Waen Suciį¹į¹o (Wat Doi Mae Pang) Follow us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/uawake_podcast DM us if you have questions, comments or a topic you want us to talk about! This episode was recorded in 2022. For any words said negligently or that may have caused offence, we ask the listenerās forgiveness and take full responsibility.
Generosity can be a very confusing, complex concept in society. We could be guilted into giving - "You have so much, and they have so little - if you don't give, then you're just selfish and privileged." We could be giving to save face - "If I don't do this favour for them, what will they think of me?" We could be giving out of pity - "These poor people have such sad lives - the least I can do is give them something..." We could be giving out of other various negative intentions or emotions. It might not feel good because there can sometimes be a sense of reluctance or the feeling that we've been pressured into giving when we don't really want to. In this episode, Khema (@khema.1) and Nalanda (@nalanda.jakjan) discuss generosity and how they view and practice giving, following the guidelines given by the Buddha, which makes it a straightforward and uplifting act for the mind š¤²āØš Timestamps Ā (0:51) - Motivation for the episodeĀ (01:38) - Generosity in mainstream cultureĀ (02:21) - Feeling pressured to giveĀ (04:32) - Pressuring people to giveĀ (12:11) - Suspecting that youāre giving to a scammerĀ (15:32) - Giving can be complexĀ (16:15) - Do your research before givingĀ (17:51) - Giving to āsave faceāĀ (20:51) - It's not worth giving if you have break sila to do itĀ (21:31) - Giving to preserve harmonyĀ (22:10) - Buddhism provides a clear guideline for givingĀ (23:01) - Give where you feel inspiredĀ (23:49) - Giving out of pity vs compassionĀ (25:20) - Give at your capacity and with equanimity (27:16) - Generosity as a practice, not an obligationĀ (27:55) - Equality/ eradication of poverty is just a lofty idealĀ (30:01) - Status of giving in society is degradedĀ (30:55) - Types of giftsĀ (31:20) - Purity of the giver and receiverĀ (32:20) - Giving encouragementĀ (33:26) - There are many opportunities to giveĀ (34:07) - Hilarious stories of bogus monks, hahaĀ (38:26) - Knowing how to judgeĀ (39:07) - Generosity as a way to uplift your mindĀ (40:31) - Giving with expectation of something in returnĀ (41:46) - Gift-giving - 'troublesome' cultural ritual? (42:57) - Intrinsically motivated to giveĀ (43:39) - Marie Kondo it - "does it spark joy?" āØ References: The Economy of Gifts by Ajahn ThanissaroĀ MN 142 Dakkhiį¹Ävibhaį¹ gasutta: The analysis of religious donationsĀ Divine Abidings and their perfection (Brahma-vihara) [Info on near and far enemies]Ā Three (not four - sorry!) types of giving - The Perfection of Giving by Acariya DhammapalaĀ Follow us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/uawake_podcast DM us if you have questions, comments or a topic you want us to talk about! This episode was recorded in 2022. For any words said negligently or that may have caused offence, we ask the listenerās forgiveness and take full responsibility.
When we think of Buddhists, we can imagine them being pretty zen and peaceful people, meditating on a cliff somewhere. In reality, while we're not inherently angry people, we do experience anger in day-to-day situations. In this episode, Khema (@khema.1) and Nalanda (@nalanda.jakjan) share epic stories of our internal and external struggles with people, from Nalanda battling it out with a guy at Chadstone car park, to Khema standing her ground with an airport Karen, we'll share tips of how we deal with our anger, while growing to become more assertive in our adult lives.Ā Ā Ā Ā References:Ā Akkosa Sutta. Ā (https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/sn/sn07/sn07.002.than.html) Follow us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/uawake_podcast Ā Ā Ā Ā DM us if you have questions, comments or a topic you want us to talk about! Ā Ā Ā Ā This episode was recorded in 2022. Ā Ā Ā For any words said negligently or that may have caused offence, we ask the listenerās forgiveness and take full responsibility.
Kids: to have or not to have? š¤ That is the question.Ā We're reaching that age (mid 20s, to 30s) where we're starting to think about things like marriage and maybe starting a family... šŖš¶š¼Ā Ā As we look around us, our friends are getting engaged, married or already having children.Ā Will I be a good parent? Do parents even have time to themselves, let alone find time to practice meditation? And what is it that makes us want to have children? Ā Ā Ā Tune in for this discussion between Khema (@khema.1), Nalanda (@nalanda.jakjan) and our very special guest/ friend/ older 'sister', Narissa (@narissa.jd) šĀ Ā Timestamps:Ā Ā (02:05) - Do you want kids?Ā Ā (06:51) - Is it just a ābiological clockā ticking in?Ā Ā Ā (08:05) - Can you still prioritise your practice if you have a kid?Ā Ā Ā (11:04) - Developing unconditional loveĀ Ā Ā (13:21) - Reasons why people want kidsĀ Ā Ā (15:14) - How people react when you say āI donāt want kidsāĀ Ā Ā (18:28) - Having kids āas investmentāĀ Ā Ā (22:00) - Considering our partners in the decisionĀ Ā Ā (24:35) - Pressure from parents to have kidsĀ Ā Ā (27:26) - Having children to āimprove the worldāĀ Ā Ā (29:32) - The Story of Dipa MaĀ Ā Ā (32:23) - Giving human birth as a giftĀ Ā Ā (34:10) - āI would kill for my childā - is that unconditional love?Ā Ā Ā (37:18) - Trauma, healing, attachment theory, responsibilitiesĀ Ā Ā (40:57) - Just do your best <3Ā Ā References:Ā Ā Karaniya Metta SuttaĀ Ā Dependent OriginationĀ Ā Indian couple sue only son for not giving them grandchildrenĀ Ā Dipa Ma ā Mother, grandmother, yogi | PriyavajraĀ Ā Follow us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/uawake_podcast Ā Ā Ā DM us if you have questions, comments or a topic you want us to talk about! Ā Ā Ā Ā This episode was recorded in 2022. Ā Ā Ā For any words said negligently or that may have caused offence, we ask the listenerās forgiveness and take full responsibility.
Another episode on parents! Our relationships with our parents are always morphing as we find a comfortable footing with them as adults. We've had some insights since the first 'parents' episode (ep #7: parents are human too) and we'd like to share them with you. Khema (@khema.1) and Nalanda (@nalanda.jakjan) talk gratitude, entitlement, boundaries - and how our parents are a little bit like devas or angels šš§š»āāļøš„ŗš„°šš» Follow us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/uawake_podcast DM us if you have questions, comments or a topic you want us to talk about! This episode was recorded in 2022. Please note that our reflections on parents and family reflect our individual experiences and are not intended to be generalised to all families. We recognise that each individual has a unique experience of parent-child and familial relationships, depending on factors like cultural context and individual family culture and values. For any words said negligently or that may have caused offence, we ask the listenerās forgiveness and take full responsibility.
Kicking back off with an intense topicā¦ which hopefully teaches you how to deal with intense pain š¤Ŗ - or how to decide when enduring with pain is unnecessary š Khema (@khema.1) & Nalanda (@jakjan.nalanda) share their experiences from knee pain in meditation to period pains to broken bones š¦“Ā References: Ā Ā Samyutta Nikaya 36.6 Sallatha Sutta: The ArrowĀ Healing through pain (from Khemaās blog)Ā Follow us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/uawake_podcast Ā DM us if you have questions, comments or a topic you want us to talk about! Ā Ā This episode was recorded in 2022. Ā For any words said negligently or that may have caused offence, we ask the listenerās forgiveness and take full responsibility.
Itās the last episode of the season!! Ā In this special episode, Khema (@khema.1) & Nalanda (@jakjan.nalanda) speak to two guests (and dear dear friends!!) - Gwen Lyne and Dara - about speaking up and learning how to say 'no' as young women. They share funny stories of times they were not able to speak up, and how they have reflected on and learned from those experiences. TL;DR: speaking up is definitely a skill and a part of Right Speech! Ā Follow us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/uawake_podcast Ā DM us if you have questions, comments or a topic you want us to talk about in season 2! Stay tuned! Ā This episode was recorded in 2022.Ā For any words said negligently or that may have caused offence, we ask the listener's forgiveness and take full responsibility.
As we transition into adulthood, there are some serious growing pains - especially in our relationship with our parents. Ā Ā How do we reconcile the idea of them being these amazing, perfect beings from our childhood and the fact that they are... well, just humans, who experience their own difficulties as individuals? Ā Ā Khema (@khema.1) & Nalanda (@jakjan.nalanda) share their difficulties and lessons from their relationships with their parents. Ā Ā References:Ā Anguttara Nikaya 2.31-32 KataƱƱu SuttaĀ Voice Hugs Podcast (by Rowena Tsai & Vivian Van)Ā Follow us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/uawake_podcast Ā Ā DM us if you have questions, comments or a topic you want us to talk about in a future episode! Ā Ā This episode was recorded in 2022.Ā For any words said negligently or that may have caused offence, we ask the listener's forgiveness and take full responsibility.
We are fans of Japanese šÆšµ and Korean š°š· dramas - and weāre sure many of you are too. In our very first guest episode (!!!), our friend Minhyeok joins us all the way from Seoul to dive into the world of dramas.Ā How have these romantic stories affected our real-life relationships? How have they shaped our view of romance? We investigate the many cultural perspectives within these Japanese and Korean dramas, note how each society is reflected in these stories, and also how life is portrayed unrealistically within them. Ā Ā Ā Ā Follow us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/uawake_podcast Ā Ā Follow Minhyeokās poetry page on instagram: @hwamok._.happy Ā Ā Khemaās IG: @khema.1 Nalandaās IG: @jakjan.nalanda Ā Ā DM us if you have questions, comments or a topic you want us to talk about in a future episode! Ā This episode was recorded in 2021. Ā For any words said negligently or that may have caused offence, we ask the listener's forgiveness and take full responsibility.
How often do we do things just because we think society expects it of us? Ā How often do we go after things that we donāt really want? Ā Ā These questions are part of the turbulent process of trying to answer the questions: Who am I and what do I want?Ā Ā In this episode, we talk quarter-life crises. Theyāre definitely a thing. As ānon-startersā who have had many roadblocks in starting our careers, we understand the pain. It can get frustrating comparing where we are with where our peers are at - but things happens in their own time. Khema (@khema.1) & Nalanda (@jakjan.nalanda) share about social pressures that they have faced as young adults and what they have learned. Ā Ā References: Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata Follow us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/uawake_podcast Ā Ā DM us if you have questions, comments or a topic you want us to talk about in a future episode! Ā Ā This episode was recorded in 2022.Ā For any words said negligently or that may have caused offence, we ask the listener's forgiveness and take full responsibility.
There probably arenāt many things in life that feel worse than losing a pet - but as with all suffering, it can teach you. Khema (@khema.1) & Nalanda (@jakjan.nalanda) share their stories of navigating the process of taking care of furbabies close to death and dealing with the very difficult experience of loss. We also discuss euthanasia, karma and rebirth. Ā References: Petavatthu (Access to Insight, Sutta Central) Follow us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/uawake_podcast Ā DM us if you have questions, comments or a topic you want us to talk about in a future episode! Ā This episode was recorded in 2021. We would like to dedicate it to Phoebe (2018) and Scotch (2021).Ā For any words said negligently or that may have caused offence, we ask the listener's forgiveness and take full responsibility.
As Buddhists itās easy to think that weāre not āallowedā to have depression or anxiety - after all, weāre meant to know the way out of all suffering, right? This week, Khema (@khema.1) & Nalanda (@jakjan.nalanda) chat mental health, stigma and the extra layer of difficulty surrounding these issues as Buddhists, and finding the middle way in practice.Ā References: AN3.65 Kalama SuttaĀ Follow us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/uawake_podcast Ā DM us if you have questions, comments or a topic you want us to talk about in a future episode! Ā This episode was recorded in 2021.Ā For any words said negligently or that may have caused offence, we ask the listener's forgiveness and take full responsibility.
Do you get nervous around monks? Feel like you have to stand a little straighter? Feel like you gotta be extra holy? We understand. This week, Khema (@khema.1) & Nalanda (@jakjan.nalanda) reflect on their experiences and misconceptions around monks and how that has changed over time. Over time, weāve learned that monks are very human and that the fear doesnāt serve you. We also talk about the importance of being discerning in choosing which teachers to follow. Ā PS HAPPY WESAK!!!! Resources: Majjhima Nikaya 47: VÄ«maį¹sasaka SuttaĀ Follow us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/uawake_podcast Ā DM us if you have questions, comments or a topic you want us to talk about in a future episode! Ā This episode was recorded in 2021.Ā For any words said negligently or that may have caused offence, we ask the listener's forgiveness and take full responsibility.
As practicing Buddhists, we sometimes feel a pressure to compare and judge ourselves based on how much we have āachievedā in our own practice, how many Dhamma books we have read, how many hours we meditate and what Jhanas we have attained. In Episode 1, Khema (@khema.1) & Nalanda (@jakjan.nalanda) chat about greed in the practice, meditation retreat PTSD, guilt and shame, and learning to take a chill pill and transcend all of that. Ā Follow us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/uawake_podcast Ā DM us if you have questions, comments or a topic you want us to talk about in a future episode! This episode was recorded in 2021. For any words said negligently or that may have caused offence, we ask the listener's forgiveness and take full responsibility.
After about a year in the making... the u awake? podcast is finally here! Khema (@khema.1) & Nalanda (@jakjan.nalanda) tell you a little bit about themselves, reminisce about their spiritual journeys and share their hopes for the podcast. Ā Follow us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/uawake_podcast This episode was recorded in 2022. For any words said negligently or that may have caused offence, we ask the listener's forgiveness and take full responsibility.