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"Kieran Culkin"
Update: 2024-12-23
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Let it cascade; it’s Kieran Culkin. Acting, not-acting, Jazz, meat, and no hobbies. All this could be yours. Welcome to SmartLess.
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Transcript
00:00:00
(upbeat music)
00:00:02
- Guys, welcome to today's podcast.
00:00:08
How are you both feeling?
00:00:09
- Does somebody have a gun to your head?
00:00:11
- Yeah, well, it's just out of frame.
00:00:14
It's not so much a gun as a crossbow.
00:00:16
- I've never seen this.
00:00:17
(laughing)
00:00:18
- A crossbow.
00:00:19
- Have you guys ever shot a crossbow?
00:00:24
- Oh, no.
00:00:26
- Did I blow it?
00:00:27
Welcome to Smart List.
00:00:29
(laughing)
00:00:31
- Smart.
00:00:32
Smart.
00:00:32
Smart.
00:00:33
Smart.
00:00:38
Smart.
00:00:39
Smart.
00:00:44
Smart.
00:00:46
- Surprise guests, give us a little snap or clap please.
00:00:51
- Oh, there we go.
00:00:52
- Oh, there they are.
00:00:53
- Oh wow.
00:00:54
(laughing)
00:00:55
- There are people here rolling.
00:00:56
- The firefacker.
00:00:57
- Yeah.
00:00:58
- Oh, hi.
00:00:59
- Hi.
00:01:00
- Hi, how are you guys?
00:01:01
How are you?
00:01:02
- Can I just dive right in?
00:01:03
- Yeah, do you mind?
00:01:04
- Oh, you have some prepared material.
00:01:06
Go ahead.
00:01:06
- I don't know, I have prepared.
00:01:07
Guys, isn't the fucking ER again last night?
00:01:11
- Oh.
00:01:12
- Here's what.
00:01:12
Here's what.
00:01:13
I had a kidney stone.
00:01:14
I thought I was having a appendicitis or something.
00:01:16
So I had a kidney stone.
00:01:18
And so I haven't been to bed yet.
00:01:20
- Wait, why did you not cancel this record?
00:01:23
- Yeah.
00:01:24
- No, it's fine.
00:01:24
I'm fine.
00:01:25
I'm actually in a good mood.
00:01:26
I'm a good buddy.
00:01:27
It would have been such a quick text from me.
00:01:29
(laughing)
00:01:31
- I hear that's the most painful thing in the world.
00:01:33
- You can't even know.
00:01:34
I haven't had one in years and years.
00:01:36
- So you had one outer, you had one put in.
00:01:38
(laughing)
00:01:40
- I had one.
00:01:41
So the pain was excruciating.
00:01:42
I'm like, "Oh, Scotty, I got it, Scotty, I got it."
00:01:45
(laughing)
00:01:46
- It was awful.
00:01:48
- Tell me where it hurts.
00:01:49
Is it in the tinky or is it in the kidney?
00:01:51
- I'm gonna say it again.
00:01:52
- No, it's in your side.
00:01:53
Yeah, I'm gonna say it's in your kidney.
00:01:55
- Hey, hey, oh.
00:01:56
- And then I'm still a little bit amorphine.
00:01:58
I still have a...
00:01:59
- Oh, that's just, that's kind of fun.
00:02:01
- That is fun.
00:02:01
- Yeah.
00:02:02
- Wait a second, we never have.
00:02:04
- So Shawnee, so you're in the hospital last week or whenever it was for a couple of times in the night.
00:02:08
- I'm not a month ago, yeah.
00:02:09
- Right, twice in that one night and then.
00:02:11
- Yeah, yeah.
00:02:12
- And then this.
00:02:13
- And then you're back and then you get the full scope thing that you went and had done and then you have this.
00:02:17
And my question to you is this.
00:02:19
- Yes, yeah, yeah.
00:02:20
- Are you paying so much attention to your well-being and your condition that you're, you know what I mean?
00:02:27
- And what do you mean?
00:02:28
- No.
00:02:29
- Those are half a sentence.
00:02:31
- Yeah.
00:02:32
- That, that because you're so, I'm not saying that that's where it's happening.
00:02:36
- Yes, that's interesting.
00:02:37
- Is it real?
00:02:37
- Oh, well, yeah.
00:02:38
The fucking thing is that.
00:02:39
- Obviously it's real.
00:02:40
But there is a lot of attention paid to your health and to your condition at all times.
00:02:45
- You're saying, is he potentially creating some of the stuff by having such a good look at it?
00:02:50
- Oh, yeah.
00:02:51
- Because of psychosomatic?
00:02:52
- Yeah, because.
00:02:53
- I should have prefaced it by saying I'm not a doctor, and I think that you guys are.
00:02:56
- You're all morphine too.
00:02:57
- So it, yeah.
00:02:58
- And also not from a doctor.
00:03:00
- No, but it's like a cycle, I know what you mean, but it's a cycle because if something happens to me, then I fear that, I don't want that thing to happen again.
00:03:06
- I'm not saying it's psychosomatic, but I am, but I am suggesting that maybe you spend so much time and energy thinking about your health and your own condition.
00:03:15
- I know, I know.
00:03:16
- That if you were to think about other things or other people, you do think about other, but you're a very thoughtful person.
00:03:21
But I wonder, do you know what I mean?
00:03:24
I don't, again, I don't know people are going to say.
00:03:26
- I know that he's being careless, but he's being careless with the food that he eats, you know?
00:03:30
So that's sort of like keeping his eye off the ball and being sort of relaxed.
00:03:33
- That is true.
00:03:34
- That is true.
00:03:34
- It's surprising for somebody who's so concerned with their health because you are quite on top of it, that you should start smoking and, you know.
00:03:40
- Well, yeah, it's like me.
00:03:42
- You know what though, I was lying there.
00:03:43
I just had like bed head and I have these scabs in my ankles and I have this IV in my arm.
00:03:48
- I'm not really scottied.
00:03:49
- I'm not really scottied like that.
00:03:51
- I look to Scotty and I go, all this could be yours.
00:03:55
(laughing)
00:03:56
- Can I ask you about where the scabs from the ankles?
00:03:59
- Yeah, can I ask you?
00:04:01
- They just, not to see him just where they came from.
00:04:04
- I don't know, they just like, I don't know.
00:04:06
- Just dry skin or whatever.
00:04:07
- Wait, so now you've just got like old man scabs?
00:04:09
- Yeah, he's got old man scabs.
00:04:11
- I don't know.
00:04:12
- I keep, I imagine walking into the gym at shot gym, walking into the men's locker room and he's got a hair dryer to his nuts sack.
00:04:20
(laughing)
00:04:22
- He's one of those guys and you're like, fuck man.
00:04:24
- Morning.
00:04:25
- Dude, how you doing?
00:04:26
Like fucking dude, it's fuckers won't dry.
00:04:29
(laughing)
00:04:32
- What are you doing?
00:04:32
- That's the funny.
00:04:33
- By the way, Jay, I switched the nutcracker to the 21st if you want to go.
00:04:37
- Oh, you did, okay, great.
00:04:38
- And Willie, please come if you want.
00:04:40
- I'm gonna go, I'm gonna be back in New York.
00:04:42
- Okay, and Jay, we're going anyway.
00:04:44
So if you can go great, if not, we'll do something else.
00:04:46
- Jay, and you're gonna be, just you or are you gonna bring your nutcracker with you?
00:04:50
(laughing)
00:04:51
- No, she'll be there.
00:04:52
- Okay.
00:04:52
(laughing)
00:04:54
- It's just a great, it's a great blow to the coffee chat and here comes our guest.
00:05:00
- Wait a second, I just want to say one more thing, I was just thinking about this.
00:05:04
And I obviously, I smoke from time to time and people really don't smoke.
00:05:07
- I feel like I'm a world class smoker.
00:05:11
- Yeah, you're great at it.
00:05:12
You are.
00:05:13
- I really do.
00:05:14
And I feel like-- - You never smell like cigarettes.
00:05:15
You don't smoke a pack a day.
00:05:17
- Thank you.
00:05:18
- Thank you very much for that.
00:05:19
- I think they're gonna play this clip at my, you know, TMZ will play this clip the other way.
00:05:25
But it should be noted, it's so great, isn't it?
00:05:29
- It's a hard thing to beat.
00:05:31
Although, you know, when I quit, they didn't have the vapes and the gums and the stickers and shit.
00:05:36
So there are things to replace it now.
00:05:39
- Yeah.
00:05:40
- There are things to replace it.
00:05:42
- You know what, you're gonna, you got a lot of shit and you'll get to it when you wanna get to it.
00:05:47
- Yeah, but no.
00:05:47
- No one's pushing you.
00:05:48
- I don't know.
00:05:49
- There are things to replace it, but there's nothing to replace our guest.
00:05:51
- Oh, great.
00:05:52
- You don't even know her if I fucking guessed it.
00:05:54
But you're actually right, though.
00:05:55
- Let morphine Molly go.
00:05:56
- By the way, did you know I was about to say that?
00:05:58
- No, no.
00:06:00
- But one of my sort of cheap segues.
00:06:03
By the way, I did move today from where I'm doing the podcast 'cause I wanted to be a little bit cheerier.
00:06:08
- Okay, good.
00:06:09
- Oh yeah, yeah.
00:06:10
You used to be in the whisper booth.
00:06:12
- I didn't know.
00:06:12
- I was in my office just 'cause I wanted to-- - Jack Jack.
00:06:15
- I just wanted to be in the, yeah.
00:06:16
- I wasn't in the Jack Jack.
00:06:18
- So I forgot about my Jack.
00:06:19
- I remember the Jacksack.
00:06:21
- The goo room.
00:06:21
- I think it's the Jacksack is, I haven't used covered in cobwebs.
00:06:25
- I think they're cobwebs.
00:06:26
(laughing)
00:06:27
- Okay.
00:06:28
But you are right.
00:06:30
You are right that our guest today can be replaced and certainly won't be forgotten.
00:06:35
- I don't know why we even begin to forget because this person is so alive and vibrant right.
00:06:40
Now, it has been for a long time.
00:06:42
- It's not some clicks.
00:06:43
- You're all like this.
00:06:44
- They were really good.
00:06:45
- Those are the mark of, those are the kind of snaps and clicks of somebody who has confidence, the confidence of longevity in doing what they do.
00:06:53
And I tell you somebody who loves longevity, it's old JB.
00:06:56
- Yeah.
00:06:57
- And you're gonna love this guy because you have a lot.
00:06:59
You have certain things in common in that both of you have been performing since you were really, really young on a professional level.
00:07:07
And I love guests like this.
00:07:09
And particularly love this guest who might do not know because they are so fucking talented and so funny and cool and smart.
00:07:16
It's not Kurt Russell.
00:07:17
But this person has been nominated for - Sure, let me explain.
00:07:21
- And one, Emmys, Golden Gloves, everything, you can imagine the number of films you, - Sally Struthers.
00:07:28
- You know him from, it goes down, you know, from Scott Pilgrim versus the world, you - Michael Sarah.
00:07:34
- No, it's not Michael Sarah.
00:07:36
- I could write.
00:07:37
- No, you also know him from Soderberg's no set in move, but you're really gonna know him, really, really, really, really, really well from his new film, A Real Pain,
00:07:47
but also mostly.
00:07:49
- Jesse Eisenberg, Succession.
00:07:51
- Karen Culkin.
00:07:52
- It's Karen Culkin.
00:07:52
- Oh, damn, it's finally got it.
00:07:55
- Babe and you ruined the intro when it's just kind of the guessing.
00:08:00
- Sally Struthers was close though.
00:08:02
- Sally Struthers was very close.
00:08:04
- That was not sure that me Clayton was pretty close too.
00:08:06
- Yeah.
00:08:07
- I thought, yeah.
00:08:08
- Oh, Karen, I'm so happy to see you there.
00:08:11
- It's crazy.
00:08:12
- This is really exciting for me.
00:08:13
This is one of my favorite things.
00:08:15
- This is a long time coming.
00:08:17
We had a few times where we were gonna have Karen on and then we could it for various reasons that we weren't gonna do, but anyway.
00:08:22
- Oh, this is Karen, yes, so easy.
00:08:24
- I canceled for both, like a month ago.
00:08:27
And Sean, you didn't even cancel you were the emergency room?
00:08:30
- Yeah.
00:08:31
- What Jay, what were you gonna say?
00:08:32
- I just was one of the frame up these 90 second delay on Sean, they're going, oh yes, it's Karen.
00:08:39
Just then.
00:08:40
(laughing)
00:08:42
- No, fucking morphing is because of the morphing, right?
00:08:46
- No, no, because I remember he was supposed to be on, I didn't know who it was, but you must have been that guest that we had an issue.
00:08:52
- Yes.
00:08:53
- Yes.
00:08:54
- Yeah, mine was not Kidney Stone.
00:08:55
- No, but it was beyond his control.
00:08:58
Have you ever had a Kidney Stone have you ever seen one?
00:09:00
- No, to me, that's my biggest nightmare, but I thought the, like you said, I thought the pain came from the peepee.
00:09:05
- No, it starts in your back in the Kidney, that's why it's a Kidney Stone.
00:09:09
And then it works way through to the bladder.
00:09:11
And now it's out, so it's sitting in my bladder, so I have another painful thing coming when I pee it out.
00:09:16
- No, no, no.
00:09:17
- 'Cause you're gonna pee it out.
00:09:18
- Yeah, 'cause when you pee it out, that's when it hurts, but it only hurts for five, you know, two seconds, 'cause you're-- - They break it down, right?
00:09:22
Don't they, like, break, break?
00:09:23
- If it's big, this one wasn't big.
00:09:25
- I think they also have a small tool that can spread your aperture there at the end of your tinky.
00:09:29
- Stop it.
00:09:30
- And that's the only thing you ever heard.
00:09:32
- Yeah, the Miattis, the Dime Slot.
00:09:35
- It's a clamp.
00:09:36
- When does that come in?
00:09:37
- A reverse clamp.
00:09:38
- It's a Dime Slot.
00:09:39
- When does that come out?
00:09:40
When is that?
00:09:41
Do you just, like, wait until these are coming in?
00:09:42
- That comes down January 15th, right?
00:09:43
Is President Stey weekend?
00:09:45
Is that what-- (laughing)
00:09:46
- Buy a new mattress, pee out of Kansas, then, yeah.
00:09:49
- Yeah, we're gonna, it's gonna be a huge opening weekend.
00:09:51
- Wait, Shawnee, is that truly the next stage is the breakdown and then the pee out?
00:09:56
- Your body breaks it down.
00:09:57
I mean, no, your body doesn't break down.
00:09:58
It just passes through.
00:09:59
What is that?
00:10:00
The thing that the tube that goes from your kidney to your bladder?
00:10:02
- Your penis.
00:10:03
- No, that's the, your penis hole.
00:10:05
- Two, pee tube.
00:10:06
- Oh god.
00:10:07
- Something like that.
00:10:08
Anyway, and then hangs out in the bladder.
00:10:09
Anyway, Karen, how are you?
00:10:10
- Much a doctor.
00:10:10
This is great.
00:10:11
- We're doing really well.
00:10:12
- We're doing really well.
00:10:14
- Welcome to our show.
00:10:16
- This is, I love this.
00:10:17
This is exactly what I thought I'd be talking about, a bunch of bullshit.
00:10:20
I got my wife, rather Santa Claus, got my wife, a hoodie last year that said, explain it to me like I'm Tracy.
00:10:26
- No, come on.
00:10:27
- Wow.
00:10:28
- You should sue, because I didn't buy it through you.
00:10:30
That's merch money that you guys-- - Is that an Etsy?
00:10:33
Is that an Etsy?
00:10:33
- It was like something, I think it was, or like Red Bubble, or one of those fucking things, you know?
00:10:37
- Wait, hang on a second.
00:10:38
Karen, I don't wanna run to Tracy.
00:10:40
I want one of those.
00:10:40
- Yeah, I did too.
00:10:41
- Karen, I do wanna say one thing.
00:10:42
- I can also talk at the same time.
00:10:43
- No, you can't.
00:10:44
I can't believe that JB knows about Etsy.
00:10:46
That's the thing that I'm motion on.
00:10:48
- Yeah.
00:10:49
- How do you know about Etsy?
00:10:50
- Dude, where do you think I got my throw pillows?
00:10:52
- I don't know.
00:10:54
- Karen, my sister is a big fan of yours, by the way.
00:10:57
- As a mom.
00:10:58
- Wait, Tracy's-- - That's Tracy.
00:11:00
- You haven't seen anything of mine, right?
00:11:02
Haven't you guys not watched?
00:11:03
- I've got a succession.
00:11:05
- I'm gonna make a sweatshirt that says, "Find somebody who loves you the way that Tracy loves."
00:11:09
Karen, why don't we just say that?
00:11:11
- Get that one.
00:11:12
- Karen, I do wanna get this out of the way.
00:11:14
I am very embarrassed to say I am the only person on the planet that is yet to start, only because I'm very serious about my ingestion of quality of the product.
00:11:23
Yeah, I'm waiting till I can sit down and just suck it up like the addict that I am.
00:11:28
- It's one of the biggest shows ever.
00:11:30
- Everybody I know loves it.
00:11:32
I've never heard a bad thing about it.
00:11:33
And I'm embarrassed to say I started it and then I got, and then I was like, "Okay, I gotta restart it."
00:11:38
And I have it, but I did see most of season one.
00:11:41
You are so fucking funny, dude.
00:11:44
And so facile and so quick.
00:11:46
You can tell that it's, obviously it's really well written and there's a great cast, but you have a facility to you that is really unique and really impressive.
00:11:56
- You don't really think it.
00:11:57
- It seems very, I have seen enough clips of, not only that, but everything else you've ever done.
00:12:02
I've seen those things.
00:12:03
You do seem very comfortable with what you do.
00:12:06
- Yes, you are.
00:12:07
- And that's like, it's fun to watch.
00:12:09
- That's lately.
00:12:10
- Well, then you were a great actor than I thought you were because it always looked like you're having fun, you're not working too hard in the best sense of the phrase.
00:12:21
And as a viewer, you're just, you're relaxed watching you do your thing because it looks like you're having fun and you're not stressing about your performance.
00:12:30
And are you hitting your beats?
00:12:31
And, you know, I just don't hit beats, yeah, or marks or any of that stuff.
00:12:36
- Yeah, you're right.
00:12:37
You're right.
00:12:38
I can't wait to see real pain.
00:12:40
- About like 10 years ago, my wife sort of made fun of me.
00:12:43
I was doing a play and I was like, I need to go to work and shoot, work.
00:12:46
What you do is literally called play.
00:12:48
- Right, no, my wife does the same thing, doesn't give it up.
00:12:51
Yeah, but she's kind of right.
00:12:53
Maybe I'll go out there and just have fun with it and just stick around.
00:12:56
This is not extra serious.
00:12:58
This is just us, you know, I don't know.
00:12:59
I'd like to go out there and play.
00:13:01
- Yeah.
00:13:02
- And do you think that that level of comfort and ease is because you started so young and it was not really ever framed initially to you as like an occupation, a job.
00:13:11
- Or was it though, or was it framed as a way of paying the rent?
00:13:15
- There's a lot of, there's a lot of stuff that I think because I started doing it at six, like that that's helped me now is like, I learned lines incredibly fast.
00:13:23
You know, I've listened to the show a lot, Jason, and you're the same way.
00:13:26
- Yeah, that's like, Jay.
00:13:28
- I often like, I'm on a real pain.
00:13:29
Do you guys know Jesse Eisenberg?
00:13:31
- Oh, not yet.
00:13:32
- No.
00:13:33
- Oh, no, you should meet him.
00:13:34
He's just, he's, it seems awesome.
00:13:36
- Anxiety personified.
00:13:37
And nothing caused him more panic than me walking to set and going, what are we shooting today?
00:13:44
And he's like, no, there's like a whole pays-long speech.
00:13:48
What's wrong with you?
00:13:49
He was like, I learned the lines fast, don't worry about it.
00:13:50
- Yeah.
00:13:51
- And I don't like to rehearse and I just sort of like, look it over really quickly.
00:13:54
And go, oh, those are the words, I'll just, you know, I'll probably-- - Right, rely on instinct.
00:13:57
- Yeah, just go.
00:13:58
- I'm with you.
00:13:59
- Yeah.
00:14:00
- Yeah, JB's really good at that.
00:14:01
I think that that could be, obviously, it works for you and it's very freeing, right?
00:14:06
So that you're not stuck into it.
00:14:08
- But there are certain parts, if I was more courageous, I would take on some parts that probably deserve a lot more research, study, practice.
00:14:16
But I do really enjoy kind of not acting.
00:14:22
I think we've talked about this before, like that.
00:14:24
I love watching actors that do actually-- - You enjoy not acting too.
00:14:27
- I have a lot of characters believe me.
00:14:31
- Well, I do like being, I like being the audience as opposed to being, you know, the character.
00:14:36
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:14:37
- Jason, do you think it personally, when everybody keeps encouraging you to direct more?
00:14:41
(laughing)
00:14:43
- Yeah, it's starting to wear-- - But wait, but Karen's, what about, on succession, those big scenes where there's lots of people because-- - So much dialogue.
00:14:53
- Yeah, I mean, you almost have to memorize everybody else's lines too, right?
00:14:57
- Yeah, sort of, but I can do that fast.
00:15:00
There was, you know, I've done things like that, like Sarah Snook and I had a really good rapport.
00:15:04
So sometimes I would say, "Hey, can you just take my lines "or, you know, vice versa?"
00:15:07
We even did a scene once for, like, by like the third take.
00:15:11
I just jumped in and stole her line and gave her a sad eye.
00:15:14
And then she looked at me like, "All right, game on."
00:15:16
And then later on, she took mine, you know?
00:15:18
- Yeah, that's great, I love that, I love that.
00:15:20
- That was pretty cool.
00:15:21
- But we ran it like, we started it like a play.
00:15:23
There wasn't really a lot of rehearsing.
00:15:25
We would go in there, we would always run the full scene, like three, four, maybe five times.
00:15:29
Cameras were always vaguely somewhere.
00:15:31
There was no such thing as, like, coverage, pick-up shots.
00:15:34
- Oh, really that.
00:15:35
- Wow, wow.
00:15:36
- I remember, like, the camera system, like, he showed up.
00:15:38
It was like a new guy.
00:15:39
And we were kind of rehearsing.
00:15:40
He put a mark down and I just looked, I stopped the rehearsal and looked at him and said, "First day?"
00:15:44
- Yeah.
00:15:45
- Yeah.
00:15:46
- Yeah, that sounds like a rest of the development.
00:15:47
We got multiple cameras and they're just sort of tagging different stuff on each take.
00:15:51
And by the time you run it three or four times, it's fully covered.
00:15:54
- That's why that show was so frickin' alive.
00:15:56
I'm on my third viewing of that show.
00:15:58
That show was great.
00:15:59
- We were never, yeah, but it's true.
00:16:00
We were never really aware of the cameras in that way.
00:16:03
And talk about a sense of play.
00:16:05
Truly, we had that same feeling, which was, it was super fun.
00:16:09
And you could kind of do anything.
00:16:11
- It's so alive that that's why, like, because you guys were connecting and, like, you guys were very live.
00:16:16
And that's what people respond to, I think.
00:16:18
- And we didn't learn, we also didn't learn our lines before.
00:16:21
We would kind of do it.
00:16:23
We'd have a sort of a camera blocking as it was.
00:16:25
It was pretty loose.
00:16:26
And we would just kind of, everybody, we just kind of throw it out there and write JB, and we, how many times, do you remember when we, that time we would come back to shoot that extra,
00:16:37
the first Netflix season, and the whole, the first day Jason and I had a 12-page two-man scene, which was just, just, do you remember that?
00:16:45
And then we were walking towards stage and make sure it comes up to us and he goes, "Hey guys, so I kind of rewrote the thing."
00:16:50
And we were like, "Uh-huh."
00:16:51
So he gave us, and we were just going, "That's on the way to say, going, uh-huh."
00:16:54
And then, okay, you're going to come in here, you come in the front door, all right.
00:16:56
I'm going to go there, you're going to go there, and rolling, and here we go.
00:16:59
- Perfect.
00:17:00
- And you just kind of fucking go so far.
00:17:03
- Yeah, you're back against the wall, you got to go.
00:17:05
- And Karen, do you, are you, are you excited to find another project that is similar to that?
00:17:12
Is it now a way in which you love to work, that you'd love to replicate on all future jobs, or do you want something like the polar opposite, where it's very, you know,
00:17:22
specific and measured, what do you think?
00:17:25
- That is a really good question, 'cause I think like when I started working on succession, I had to throw everything that I used to do out the window, because I'd never done a TV show before.
00:17:34
My thing was like, be off-book months before, learn everyone else's lines, and be extremely prepared, and then because it's the nature of a TV show, where you don't know the next episode, and also our show we were getting rebrands on the day,
00:17:45
similar to what you just said.
00:17:47
I had to abandon that, and just go fly by the sea of my pants.
00:17:51
But it lent itself to that character, because he was the kind of guy who could sort of talk his way in and out of any situation, so he didn't really have to think before he spoke, so it was sort of like,
00:18:02
he was that guy.
00:18:02
So I've been trying to mentally prepare for like, as it feels like going backwards, like, you know, doing a job with coverage and things.
00:18:10
And so when we started doing a real pain, I sort of thought we were going to do that, which we did kind of on the first day or so.
00:18:16
But the character in that movie is like, the most spontaneous sort of surprising person, it's the kind of thing where just when you think you sort of have him down, just to spite you, he's going to give you a different reaction than what you're expecting.
00:18:29
- Which is a great counterbalance to Jesse's character, correct?
00:18:33
- Exactly, yeah, and he wrote it, he directed it.
00:18:36
He like shot this the whole thing.
00:18:37
Before I got there, he like shot it on his phone, playing my character, and he would tell me things like, okay, so on this scene, you sit over there, and I would go, how do you know?
00:18:46
- I do.
00:18:47
- He's like, well, what do you mean, how do you know?
00:18:48
I was like, well, we haven't tried it.
00:18:49
He goes, well, why can't you sit there?
00:18:50
So maybe I could, but we haven't tried it.
00:18:52
What do you mean, why doesn't it work?
00:18:53
I'm sure it works.
00:18:54
And we talk clean of the frickin circle for a while.
00:18:57
- I love you, you get to set the first day, he's like, hey, I got a cut of the movie right here.
00:19:01
You were great, we're just doing pickups today.
00:19:05
- So then, how was he like, you would say like, well, yeah, maybe I don't sit there.
00:19:09
Maybe I'd stand over here.
00:19:10
That way he would just like, throw out all of his coverage and just be like, oh, fuck.
00:19:14
- He kind of abandoned it on like the second or third day.
00:19:17
- Wow, really?
00:19:18
You forced him to?
00:19:19
- Well, because, yeah, well, we had to shoot the sequence that he had mapped out, but the whole idea of it was like, we're gonna, I want my picture taken in front of the statue and then I start gathering the other people in this tour group to come with me.
00:19:30
And he had planned it all out.
00:19:34
And I was like, well, isn't sort of the point to just, for me to get them into the idea and we're all gonna take a photo together.
00:19:39
And he's like, yeah, so do you mind if we just try it once and then he basically just told the cinematographer, like, nevermind, fuck the shot, let's pick up the camera.
00:19:45
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's great though.
00:19:48
- How cool is that?
00:19:49
Because then you guys ended up creating something together and much more collaborative.
00:19:53
- Yeah.
00:19:54
- And I wonder if, and JB, you can kind of maybe address this a little bit, having directed so much now.
00:20:00
Having that for Jesse, I don't know, we should ask him.
00:20:04
Having that sort of set that shot list, everything the way he wants to see it, and he was so ready and so regimented, you come in, you kind of throw a wrench in that whole thing.
00:20:11
And I bet you freed him up in a lot of ways.
00:20:14
- Maybe, I think it freaked him out a lot though.
00:20:16
I'm sure I figured I could scare the shit out of him, but yeah.
00:20:19
- 'Cause the clock is ticking, you got this call sheet, you got to get done in 12 hours, and it's like, you know, I got a fucking pain in the ass actor that's throwing it all up.
00:20:26
- Yeah, but we ended up getting our scenes a lot faster, actually.
00:20:28
That's how I felt anyway, sort of like, well, you know, let's just run the whole thing a couple of times instead of picking up these pieces, and then, you know, you get to shoot it how you want.
00:20:36
- And we will be right back.
00:20:39
And now back to the show.
00:20:44
- Keir, now you're gonna take all of that, that way you're working all that kind of stuff.
00:20:49
How is this gonna be different?
00:20:50
You're now gonna go and you've worked obviously, you've done theater before, but you're going back to Broadway, is that right?
00:20:57
In the spring?
00:20:59
- Yeah, I am, Glen Gary, Glen Ross.
00:21:00
- Glen Gary Glen Ross.
00:21:02
- Oh, wow.
00:21:03
- Can I be in it?
00:21:04
- Yes, but no, a 30 cast.
00:21:07
- Where do you need an understudy?
00:21:09
- It was the rest.
00:21:10
- Sure, it could be my understudy.
00:21:10
Bob Odenkirk's in it, Bill Burr, Michael McKean.
00:21:13
- Oh great, great.
00:21:14
- That's great.
00:21:15
- I know.
00:21:16
- What a cast.
00:21:17
- What a fucking terrified.
00:21:18
I thought I was, yeah.
00:21:20
- When do you, when do you open?
00:21:21
- Ah.
00:21:22
- (imitates gunshot)
00:21:23
March?
00:21:24
- I don't know, they don't even have a theater, but they keep telling me that- - I think it'll be fine.
00:21:30
- Try the Tabasco, it's spicy, it's big.
00:21:32
- It's a great theater tabasco.
00:21:34
Oh my God, a good viasker.
00:21:36
And it was a great night, good night, good night.
00:21:38
- Good night, good night, good night.
00:21:39
- You bet to ask, Shawnee, you bet to ask me about funny theaters.
00:21:42
- Yes, yes, if you have anything's gonna happen?
00:21:45
- If you have any, please share them.
00:21:46
I love it.
00:21:47
But look, Karen, you can- - Let him do a theater story.
00:21:51
- No, I wasn't actually prompting myself for a funny bit.
00:21:53
I just know that she wants to ask that.
00:21:55
Or it's audition stories, or- - Yes, jump in, I love those are my favorite stories if you have one.
00:22:00
- I got a really quick one, which is- - Yes.
00:22:02
- I did a play 10 years ago with Michael Sarah.
00:22:04
- Nice.
00:22:05
- This is her youth, and I had food poisoning.
00:22:07
And- - It's already funny.
00:22:09
- The moment the show started in lights came up, I realized, oh, I'm flocked.
00:22:13
So I spent like an hour just trying not to vomit.
00:22:16
And by the end of the first act, I had this whole speech, and I realized I can't open my mouth, I'm gonna vomit.
00:22:21
And I had this whole speech where I have to get the money, there's an amount, and what I'm spending it on.
00:22:25
And I stood up next to the door to leave the apartment, I'm wobbling.
00:22:29
And I had this speech, and there's like a five, six second long pause that's not supposed to be there.
00:22:34
And I hold my hand out, and I just went, "Money."
00:22:37
And he put the money in my hand.
00:22:39
I ran out, and the stage manager, I guess, had put a bucket right next to the door.
00:22:42
- Oh, God.
00:22:43
I had to violently, loudly vomiting in this bucket.
00:22:46
They were trying to drag me away, but I couldn't, I was just holding onto this bucket for dearly vomiting.
00:22:51
I asked Michael afterwards, I said, "Could you guys hear me?"
00:22:53
He goes, "Are you fucking kidding me?"
00:22:55
He goes, "It was the most surreal shared experience I've ever had with the group of people of listening to a grown man vomit in a bucket."
00:23:01
- I just imagine that Michael's just dry takes out to the house while everyone's hearing, just like it just, right.
00:23:08
- He said he grabbed the comic book and started trying to casually read a comic book as if it wasn't happening.
00:23:14
- At the book until you made your re-entrance?
00:23:16
- No, the understudy came in and act too.
00:23:18
- No, really?
00:23:20
- While I spent, yeah, I was vomiting upstairs for the next few hours, and they somehow drag me home for hours more, vomit.
00:23:26
- That's the best theater story we've heard yet, Sean.
00:23:28
- That's really good, Sean.
00:23:29
- I think that's really great.
00:23:30
I love that.
00:23:31
- So this was in London, then?
00:23:33
- No, that one was in New York, but Wikipedia is correct.
00:23:36
I did do that play in London like eight years before that.
00:23:39
- No, no, no, no.
00:23:40
- Well, you're the one who had time to actually do the research.
00:23:43
- I actually do know that you did this at your youth also in London.
00:23:46
I have a very close relationship with this at your youth because the original cast, Miss Yeager was in the original cast, whom I lived with at the time.
00:23:54
She was my girlfriend in the '90s.
00:23:56
- I knew that.
00:23:57
- And I remember when they first did it, and she and Kenny first did it, and with Mark and Josh Hamilton, I thought about 42 times.
00:24:05
- Yeah, that's amazing.
00:24:06
- It's a great play.
00:24:07
It's such a great, it's such a brilliant play.
00:24:10
I can't let it go.
00:24:11
Like I played it as the character Warren in London, and I felt like I never got it right.
00:24:16
So I spent like years trying to do it again, and then realized I actually was right for the other part.
00:24:20
I just had to spend years convincing Kenny Lonergan that I was right for that part.
00:24:25
And then I got to do it like in Chicago, Sydney.
00:24:28
- No, no way.
00:24:29
- I can't let it go.
00:24:30
- Well, that I did not know.
00:24:32
Would it make a good movie?
00:24:34
- I don't know.
00:24:35
I've always tried to crack that one.
00:24:37
I don't think I, I don't know.
00:24:39
- What about that, what about directing a movie?
00:24:43
- Directing?
00:24:43
- Or anything.
00:24:44
- I don't know, I don't have that thing.
00:24:46
- You don't have a directing thing.
00:24:47
- I'm not that ambitious.
00:24:48
- I doubt that's true.
00:24:49
I doubt it.
00:24:50
- I don't know.
00:24:50
- Yeah.
00:24:51
- You've been around, you've been around film, and you've been making films since you were, as you said.
00:24:55
- Sex, well first of all, what was the first, let's get into this.
00:24:58
What was the first professional experience you had working in TV film, et cetera?
00:25:04
- Professional experience I had was a commercial when I was six, and I actually don't quite know what it was for.
00:25:09
But it was like for something to do with learning disabilities.
00:25:12
And I remember that I was put, the concept was I'm standing in front of a chalkboard, the chalk in my hand, and I don't know how to solve the easy thing in front of me.
00:25:20
And the, and the kids in the class are supposed to be calling me dummy and stupid all that.
00:25:24
And I have a distinct memory of being there and the director going, okay, he's like action, and he starts going dummy, idiot, stupid.
00:25:32
(laughing)
00:25:33
- Oh my god.
00:25:34
- And like even then, I'm thinking like, you know, I get it, I'm six, like stand here and look sad.
00:25:38
I'm not fucking method.
00:25:39
I'm six, and that's wrong with you.
00:25:41
- Right, right, right, right.
00:25:42
- Oh my god.
00:25:43
- Oh my god.
00:25:44
- But why do I have, I have this image of you.
00:25:46
I can't remember when I was watching where you were either you hosted or your brother hosted at SNL, and you were-- - Oh good, I thought you were gonna say, I have this image of you in my hard drive.
00:25:53
Okay, keep going.
00:25:53
(laughing)
00:25:56
- Well, that's, yeah, that's it.
00:25:58
But wait, why were you on, what was I watching?
00:26:00
Where they did it zoom in on you and you were like on stage at SNL or something.
00:26:04
- So I hosted SNL a couple of years ago, and it was 30 years.
00:26:08
- Oh, that's what it was.
00:26:09
- It was 30 years almost to the day.
00:26:10
It was like a couple day shy of being 30 years from when my brother hosted.
00:26:13
- Okay.
00:26:14
- And I got to be in like three sketches.
00:26:15
So they had like, I got to be there for the good nights and stuff like that.
00:26:18
- That's really cool.
00:26:19
That was so cool.
00:26:20
- Was that surreal?
00:26:21
- That really was, and it was one of those things I thought would never ever happen, but was, there's very few like things I, like I said, I'm not very ambitious.
00:26:30
I don't like have these big aspiring dreams, but like hosting SNL was like that one.
00:26:36
That one in like voicing the Simpsons, which I still haven't done yet.
00:26:38
Those are like the two things I've always wanted to do.
00:26:39
- Here they come.
00:26:40
- I remember one time when I remember when JB was asked to host the first time.
00:26:45
This is true story.
00:26:46
And you probably don't remember this.
00:26:49
And you were first, you got asked to do it.
00:26:52
And this was in, you did it like January of 2005, I think.
00:26:57
- It wasn't after like the first year or second year?
00:27:00
- Second year, yes.
00:27:01
- Yeah, but January 2005.
00:27:03
And I remember you going, going, dude, they just asked, I'm gonna host, I said, no, I go, that's fucking great.
00:27:09
And you go, I mean, it's like a dream come true.
00:27:11
And I was like, yeah, no shit.
00:27:15
- Honestly, it's a fucking, when you think you're fucking this, it's like, this is a dream coming true for me.
00:27:20
Oh, is it?
00:27:22
(laughing)
00:27:23
- No, but a lot of people, but there's a lot of people, and I won't mention their names here, 'cause maybe they're not excited about it, but they will never host SNL because it's so frightening to them after that.
00:27:37
It's like the thing they would least like to do.
00:27:40
And they've turned it down a million times.
00:27:42
There's tons of 'em.
00:27:43
- Yeah, I guess.
00:27:44
So that's probably where it's coming from.
00:27:45
- Okay, that's a good thing.
00:27:46
- You want one of my favorites, my favorite good nights, stories, you know, like, 'cause when you, when you do the good nights at the end, all that's on the cue card is like the musical guest and anybody else that showed up.
00:27:56
And like, while you're like five seconds TV, Lauren goes, okay, enjoy.
00:28:01
And I go, what do I say?
00:28:02
'Cause anything you want, and walks away.
00:28:05
And all I'm doing is looking at the cue cards and then, you know, but I said the normal good nights, but my favorite I've ever seen was Liam Neeson hosted, like in the early 2000s.
00:28:13
And the camera cuts to him and he just goes, "Modest Mouse."
00:28:17
(laughing)
00:28:19
And then just quiet, and then they just start playing the music.
00:28:22
It's so good.
00:28:23
- It's just reading the cards, not doing it at all.
00:28:24
- Literally just read the cue card.
00:28:26
- I love it.
00:28:27
- On his mouse.
00:28:27
- I had started hugging.
00:28:29
- But Karen, you can't, you can't be you and not be super smart.
00:28:33
Like, you seem hyper intelligent because while you talk fast, like I usually do, not today on morphine, but you talk, but you, it seems like you're firing in all cylinders, your brain.
00:28:44
- Did they say that you had to smoke the morphine?
00:28:45
I don't get it.
00:28:46
(laughing)
00:28:47
So, they give you the option that you're like, - I still have it.
00:28:49
- I still have it.
00:28:50
I have it.
00:28:51
What is it called?
00:28:52
A drip of works.
00:28:53
- A drip of works.
00:28:54
- But you seem really like, you talk fast, which means if you think fast, which means you, can probably like to, when Will is talking to you, or Jason talking about directing, it seems like people who fire in all cylinders,
00:29:05
all the time can do stuff like that.
00:29:07
So, if you don't want to do that, what do you do to like, occupy all that extra bandwidth?
00:29:12
- Yeah, I don't, I don't know, drive my wife crazy.
00:29:14
I don't even have like hobbies.
00:29:16
- Rockswords.
00:29:17
- Not even, I do like, you know, whirtle-curtle bullshit.
00:29:20
Like, I know he is.
00:29:21
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:29:22
- Isn't it weird that I know stuff about you 'cause I listen to your show too much?
00:29:24
- Will pull him in.
00:29:25
There's that empty seat.
00:29:27
Have you guys ever filled my seat?
00:29:28
- Yeah, no, we had a way to say that.
00:29:30
- Better way to say that.
00:29:31
- I'm just going to see, we still play every morning.
00:29:35
Yeah, I'm still.
00:29:36
- Wirtle-curtle and octurtle.
00:29:37
- Octurtle.
00:29:38
- You do the octurtle?
00:29:39
- I haven't done it in a while.
00:29:40
- Oh, yeah.
00:29:41
- Yeah, a while.
00:29:41
- I don't know why I don't have my favorite.
00:29:42
- In a while.
00:29:43
- A lot of dipshit.
00:29:45
Yeah, you just said I'm smart and I speak best.
00:29:46
Not correct.
00:29:47
- Quirtle was really, I will say today was really tough.
00:29:50
It was a bust.
00:29:51
We had three busts on, on Quirtle today, which was a big, it was sending shockwaves through our, our, our octurtle-curtle-wirtle.
00:30:00
- What are we called, "Nurtle"? - Now, Karen, I find it hard to believe.
00:30:03
- Nurtle does exist.
00:30:04
It's a mouthful.
00:30:05
- You're really saying you do not have a hobby.
00:30:07
I don't buy it.
00:30:08
What, tell me, what do you live in New York full-time?
00:30:11
- Are you in New York, guys?
00:30:12
- I live in New York full-time, but also like, I am amazed that people do things in a day.
00:30:17
Like, I just don't, I don't get it.
00:30:19
- But you wake up.
00:30:19
- Time to, exactly.
00:30:21
- You get the kid off to school.
00:30:22
How many times do you have to do that?
00:30:24
- That's it, that's it.
00:30:25
That's the whole, I just woke up and then something like, I'm already getting ready for bed.
00:30:28
And how did that happen?
00:30:29
What did I, what did I get?
00:30:30
- How many kids do you have?
00:30:31
- I have two, a three-year-old and a five-year-old.
00:30:33
So that's my hobby, I guess.
00:30:34
Is that any time I'm not, like, this is really lovely and I really want to be here, but I feel like any time I'm doing something, I'm just trying to get home to be with the kids.
00:30:42
- Right, exactly.
00:30:43
And then, are you like me?
00:30:44
Do you put on the PJs as soon as you're home?
00:30:46
If you know you're not leaving again the rest of the day, even if it's one-third in the afternoon?
00:30:50
- Yeah, yeah.
00:30:51
I mean, like, my walking around, like, it's a pair of shorts and a big t-shirt, but yeah, it's the same idea.
00:30:55
- Right.
00:30:56
Yeah.
00:30:56
And then, so, then, is it television?
00:30:57
Is it a book?
00:30:58
Like, what are you, you're not just sitting on a couch staring at the wall?
00:31:01
- God, I haven't read a book since I had a kid, so it'll be five years ago.
00:31:04
- I mean, yeah, I forgot, you're not a reader.
00:31:06
'Cause we're just keep coming at you, right, Jason?
00:31:08
- Yeah.
00:31:09
- TV.
00:31:09
- Yeah, that's too much.
00:31:10
- 'Cause we're watching TV.
00:31:11
- The words just keep coming at you.
00:31:13
- I really do, they just, it's relentless, like, you know.
00:31:16
Almost no time for TV or movies, unless, like, I can put it, like, in a schedule, I don't know.
00:31:22
- Yeah.
00:31:23
- So, when you're done with us today, well, you log off and then, what, what happened?
00:31:28
- I have, like, a little Zoom meeting right after you, and then I have to go do some, I'm still doing press for the movies, so then, like, about an hour after that Zoom, I go do a press.
00:31:35
I actually don't know what the thing is I'm going to.
00:31:36
I stopped looking at the itinerary.
00:31:38
They tell me to, like, get in the car at 11.30, I get in at, like, 12.15 and hope for the best.
00:31:43
- Yeah.
00:31:44
- I literally, this happened a couple of weeks ago.
00:31:47
I got in the back of a car, about 45 minutes late.
00:31:49
And the guy said, "Delta Airlines."
00:31:51
And I went, "I don't know."
00:31:52
And he said, "He goes J.A.K."
00:31:55
And I said, "Beats me, man.
00:31:56
"I really don't fucking know that.
00:31:56
"I probably know."
00:31:58
- I called my publicist.
00:31:58
- Literally, I wasn't even sure if I was going to the airport except for that I had a bag that was already packed.
00:32:03
I got to the airport, I put my passport in the machine, and as I put it in, I realized, I don't know where I'm going today.
00:32:08
- Wow.
00:32:09
- Yeah.
00:32:10
And it was a good thing, too, 'cause it was a long flight.
00:32:11
I was going to Warsaw.
00:32:12
I'm glad I brought my passport.
00:32:13
- Why are we going to Warsaw?
00:32:14
- Warsaw.
00:32:15
- The movie was shot in- - Oh, oh, oh, this movie.
00:32:17
- Yeah, this movie was shot there, head like a- - How did you like Warsaw?
00:32:21
- Yeah, I was good about to say.
00:32:22
- I hardly saw it.
00:32:23
I was, we were shooting like six day weeks.
00:32:25
- More like no-saw.
00:32:26
- That was good.
00:32:27
- All right, yeah.
00:32:28
That was good.
00:32:29
- That was good for you, Will.
00:32:30
- Thank you.
00:32:31
- It's, Paul and I here is a very, very beautiful country.
00:32:35
- Oh, you've been hearing that?
00:32:37
- I have been hearing that.
00:32:38
I have not yet visited yet.
00:32:39
Yeah, but hearing it, it's a lot.
00:32:41
- It's nice.
00:32:42
- On the grapevine or-- - Text reds.
00:32:44
- Really nice parks.
00:32:47
My wife's from London and she always brags about how the parks and the London are the best in the world.
00:32:51
- Yeah.
00:32:52
- But the best parks she's ever seen were in Warsaw.
00:32:54
- Really?
00:32:55
- Yeah.
00:32:56
- So she went with you, the kids went with you?
00:32:58
- At the beginning.
00:32:58
They were there for the first like 11 to 12 days and then once they left, I was, yeah, popping up.
00:33:03
- And how long were you alone without them?
00:33:06
- 25 days.
00:33:07
That was, yeah.
00:33:09
Oh no, that was murderous, yes.
00:33:11
- 25 shooting days, that's five weeks.
00:33:12
- 25 full days.
00:33:13
- No, 25 full days.
00:33:14
- 25 full days, right?
00:33:15
- And actually, yeah.
00:33:17
I tried to actually back out of the movie once I saw that that was the schedule.
00:33:20
Jesse didn't know about that.
00:33:21
- Wow.
00:33:22
- 'Cause I had recently, I don't know if you guys have these rules, like I just did, when I was doing succession, I had to do eight days away and I was like, that was tough, but manageable.
00:33:28
And then I had to do 11 and went, I can't do that.
00:33:31
- Yeah, yeah.
00:33:32
- Eight is my, that's my new rule.
00:33:34
- Wait, you live in New York, the show is shot in New York.
00:33:36
Why would you not do that?
00:33:37
- That's the episode of Your Rule, right?
00:33:38
Which is it minimum six months away.
00:33:41
(laughing)
00:33:42
Or you're out.
00:33:44
- Well, they're just so noisy these kids.
00:33:46
- What about, where did you have to go for succession that took you out for eight and 11 days away from New York?
00:33:52
- There were a lot of places, you know.
00:33:54
There's usually like once per season watch the show that we ended up somewhere else.
00:33:58
(laughing)
00:34:00
Italy, Norway.
00:34:01
- John's never seen the development and we've been doing this part and we've been friends for four years.
00:34:05
- I know, still?
00:34:06
- Yeah, I know, I haven't seen.
00:34:07
- I've watched three times.
00:34:09
I haven't seen Ozark, it's okay.
00:34:10
- I always say I've seen it as much as they've watched Will and Grace.
00:34:13
- I've seen a lot of Will and Grace and I was fucking on Will and Grace.
00:34:16
- Yeah, yeah.
00:34:16
- It's on Will and Grace.
00:34:17
- Yeah, so when you're sitting there passing your stone or nothing else, you can't do fuck all.
00:34:23
Watch a couple episodes.
00:34:24
So, you guys shot an incredible locations for succession.
00:34:29
That I do know, you guys shot like an-- - Croatia, Tuscany, yeah.
00:34:34
Norway, we were all over the man.
00:34:36
- I know, how good is that?
00:34:37
- But it wasn't that, no, it wasn't that like nice.
00:34:39
I remember like at the end of season two, my wife was like heavily pregnant.
00:34:43
It was August, she's back in New York and she was basically been playing about how it was and she was alone and all this stuff.
00:34:48
And she's like, and you're on a yacht in Croatia.
00:34:50
I'm like, I'm not on a yacht.
00:34:51
I'm on a fucking set.
00:34:52
It's not like I'm going swimming between banks and all that.
00:34:55
That's the thing when we travel all these places, unless you can specifically get some time off after.
00:35:00
You're not really seeing the stuff.
00:35:02
- Yeah, I know, yeah.
00:35:03
- Wait, Karen, so you've always been in New York, or I want to get back to this.
00:35:06
'Cause I saw a video, something of you recently, not even in anticipation of doing this.
00:35:14
I just saw it out in the world of you revisiting your childhood apartment.
00:35:18
- Oh wow.
00:35:19
- Oh yeah, that was on CBS Sunday morning, which is a great show.
00:35:22
- Yeah.
00:35:23
- Right, that was a great.
00:35:24
- Yeah, it was really cool.
00:35:25
And I loved you going in and seeing your former neighbor and-- - That was not planned at all.
00:35:29
We were just like, they were setting up a camera outside and he was like, "Oh, I hear no, look at all this."
00:35:34
Oh, thanks.
00:35:35
- Yeah, we were.
00:35:36
- Talk a little bit about like growing up into New York and auditioning for stuff and what that was like.
00:35:42
And now, as I mentioned in the lead in, that Jason, we often talk about people, about being able to have that longevity and be able to kind of take what you be a child actor and have that translating to becoming an adult actor as well.
00:35:58
Is really rare, yeah, petrified.
00:36:02
- I feel like, other than what I mentioned earlier about like learning lines fast and knowing that stuff, I feel like everything I did as a kid, I don't think I apply it.
00:36:10
The acting stuff I used to do as a kid to what I do now.
00:36:13
- Really?
00:36:14
- I think it's the-- Yeah, 'cause sometimes I see that in former kid actors, I don't know if you know what I'm talking about where there's sort of like bad habits, you could sort of pick up along the way that you just have to be mindful to-- - Right,
00:36:25
you mentioned like, in Igbie, the director was like, I'm seeing the kid tricks, just talking, knock it off and be better, basically.
00:36:34
- Yeah, stop showing me what you're doing.
00:36:36
Stop, you know, trying to show me what the character's doing, your chat's showing me what's happening in the scene.
00:36:42
- Right, you know, that's my job.
00:36:44
- Yeah, force us to lean in and read your mind, right?
00:36:46
- So you kind of, you shifted what you did, like Jason, I'm sure a lot of the stuff that you used to do like on growing pains is now different.
00:36:53
- No, I know, that's Kirk Cameron, will.
00:36:56
- No, sorry, can I talk to you for a second?
00:36:59
- Yes, Kirk Cameron.
00:37:01
- This whole time?
00:37:02
- The whole time I've never been, yeah.
00:37:04
But now, Karen, did you have the same level of panic and horror when you were start thinking about my god, am I gonna be able to transition my ability to make a dollar into adulthood or should I go to college?
00:37:23
Should I get something where I have a diploma and I have a reasonable expectation of sort of a base salary and some consistency and predictability in my life?
00:37:31
- God, I don't really think all that often.
00:37:34
So all I know is, like, I suddenly found myself at like 20 and I remember my manager who I'm still with, I've been with her for 30 years.
00:37:44
She used the word career and I kind of panicked 'cause I've been doing it since six.
00:37:47
But it's like a six year old shouldn't really pick their occupation for the rest of their life.
00:37:51
That's not really, they're not really qualified to do that.
00:37:53
You know, so I think I kind of panicked and was like, okay, well, I don't know if this is what I wanna do.
00:38:00
So I think I spent many years trying to figure out what I wanna do.
00:38:03
But at that point, you're 20.
00:38:05
- At that point, you're 20, so you could still kind of start college, you'd be a 20 year old freshman, which is not cute.
00:38:10
But you still could have done it.
00:38:12
- I'm a high school dropout as well.
00:38:14
I don't really, you know?
00:38:15
- Yeah.
00:38:16
- Yeah.
00:38:17
- But like Jason, you asked that, remember, we asked this recently to Kerry Russell and she was like, no, I had no thought about making the leap from being a child actor to it.
00:38:29
She didn't worry about it at all.
00:38:30
- Yeah.
00:38:31
- You did.
00:38:32
You were cognizant of it.
00:38:33
But I still didn't do anything to mitigate the risk.
00:38:35
In other words, I wasn't taking like night classes in real estate, you know?
00:38:39
Like, it was just, I mean, it's really fucking stupid what I did and what you did, Karen, what Kerry did.
00:38:44
Like, we're still at this, I'm 55.
00:38:47
I'm still running sort of wild great show, by the way.
00:38:51
- Yeah.
00:38:52
- You know, like, if this doesn't work out in the next, what, six months, things could go completely dry.
00:39:01
- At any point in any of our careers, we don't have a diploma, or degree in something that says, no, no, no, I'm not going on the door.
00:39:08
I should give me a job.
00:39:10
- But isn't that the thing that drives you?
00:39:11
Is that fear?
00:39:12
Like, I got this anxiety that's behind all the time.
00:39:15
- I know, I know.
00:39:17
- I think a really good antidote to that, also for me has been rich parents.
00:39:22
- Yeah, that's not true.
00:39:23
- I'm kidding, I'm kidding, they're not.
00:39:25
- That's not true.
00:39:25
- I'm being, I'm being flippin' it's true.
00:39:28
- It's not true, it's not true.
00:39:29
I remember my grandma, like, about 20 years ago, she was in North Dakota, she asked me, like, she goes, you're still acting?
00:39:35
I said, yeah.
00:39:36
And she goes, boom, it's your last job.
00:39:37
And I said, oh, God, it, like, a little over a year ago.
00:39:40
And she goes, you should get into meat.
00:39:42
People always need meat.
00:39:43
(laughing)
00:39:44
- Oh, really?
00:39:45
- I feel like your grandma's not terrible.
00:39:47
- Not terrible, not terrible.
00:39:48
- Not terrible advice.
00:39:49
- Yeah, people will always eat it.
00:39:50
We'll be right back.
00:39:53
And now, back to the show.
00:39:57
- Forgive me, is it just you and McCauley that wore actors?
00:40:02
Or would there other people in your family?
00:40:04
- My brother wore, actually, at some point, he was all sort of, like, given the opportunity to act and some of them just didn't take to it, some did.
00:40:12
- And then- - And then- - And then- - Seven of us.
00:40:15
- And then parents and- - Seven kids.
00:40:16
- Seven kids, yeah.
00:40:18
- Seven kids, yeah.
00:40:18
- And that small little heart, sorry.
00:40:19
Where do you fall in that?
00:40:20
- Right in the middle, yeah.
00:40:22
- Okay.
00:40:22
- But I don't really have that middle child thing.
00:40:24
- Uh-huh.
00:40:24
- 'Cause I was like the favorite.
00:40:26
- Yep, there you go.
00:40:26
I don't, I don't really believe in birth order as much as other people do.
00:40:31
- Yeah.
00:40:32
- You had, you're one of four, right, Willie?
00:40:33
- Yeah.
00:40:34
- Yeah.
00:40:35
- Yeah.
00:40:36
- I was the baby, like, my whole, I was the baby for almost 10 years then my brother was born.
00:40:39
So, you know, two older sisters.
00:40:41
And I don't know.
00:40:42
I just don't buy into it.
00:40:43
- Yeah.
00:40:44
- Yeah, you make of it.
00:40:45
You make of it what you will, like any- - Any- - Exactly.
00:40:48
- Whatever you will.
00:40:48
- A good, real, real quick, their names.
00:40:51
- Hell, no.
00:40:53
- Jack, what?
00:40:54
- No.
00:40:55
- Jack, what?
00:40:56
- We'll let you come back on that.
00:40:57
- Okay.
00:40:58
- I do love them, I think.
00:40:59
- Look at them.
00:41:00
(laughing)
00:41:02
- I don't have a question for again.
00:41:03
- No, I was just saying so, but then as far as, as far as the lineage of the lineage of the- - Culkin family.
00:41:11
- I'm just threw up right now.
00:41:12
- Well, I love them.
00:41:13
- And the kidney stone comes on my throat instead of my people.
00:41:16
(laughing)
00:41:18
(laughing)
00:41:19
- No, but parents and grandparents and like, or did this acting bug start with you, the kids of the Culkin family?
00:41:27
- I think my father and his siblings did it as kids.
00:41:32
That's sort of my understanding.
00:41:33
'Cause actually I only know that, 'cause a few years ago, we went through an old storage unit and I found this pamphlet of, I guess what his parents were trying to like, I don't know what exactly what it was, but it was like,
00:41:44
hey, we have a son that's an actor and we have this other son that's a magician.
00:41:47
- Oh wow.
00:41:47
- And it was like sort of like, we have these performing arts kids.
00:41:51
- Wow.
00:41:52
- Isn't it amazing the stuff you find out about your parents way later?
00:41:56
Like, I grew up, I grew up without knowing anything about my mom or obviously my dad, but my mom.
00:42:02
- No idea your dad was such a great driver.
00:42:04
- I know, do you know the make of the car?
00:42:06
(laughing)
00:42:07
At least.
00:42:07
- Yeah, I didn't know that your dad didn't own a map.
00:42:11
- Oh yeah.
00:42:11
(laughing)
00:42:14
- We had a bad memory, or we had a bad memory.
00:42:16
- Wait, do you guys remember that car, the MG?
00:42:18
The MG?
00:42:18
- No, sure.
00:42:19
- My dad owned that.
00:42:20
- No kidding.
00:42:21
- He built a car built for one.
00:42:24
(laughing)
00:42:25
- Built for barely two.
00:42:26
(laughing)
00:42:27
- And he had five kids.
00:42:28
(laughing)
00:42:30
- That's the first sign, man.
00:42:31
- Yes.
00:42:32
(laughing)
00:42:33
- You should have punctured the tires.
00:42:36
- I know.
00:42:36
(laughing)
00:42:37
- Isn't that the truth?
00:42:39
(laughing)
00:42:40
- Isn't that the truth?
00:42:41
Like, that's such a red flag.
00:42:42
- Oh, God.
00:42:43
- It's a red flag.
00:42:44
- So, do you ever get to...
00:42:45
- You know the other red flag was what he said?
00:42:48
I'm fucking out of here.
00:42:49
(laughing)
00:42:52
- Oh, man.
00:42:56
- Oh, fucking funny.
00:42:58
- It's so weird for me because it feels like, like, you're just meeting me, but I feel like I'm hanging out with my old friends that are just fucking with each other.
00:43:05
- You are.
00:43:06
- My wife used to tell me for months, she was listening to this show before I listened to it.
00:43:09
She would, this happened a more than one occasion.
00:43:11
She'd be like, "Oh, my friend said blah blah blah the other day, "we were having this chat."
00:43:14
And I said, "Which friend was it?"
00:43:15
And she'd think, "Oh, fuck, that was marvelous."
00:43:18
- Hello.
00:43:18
- I have it all the time.
00:43:20
- That was cool, man.
00:43:21
Was that Choms that will, no, I know that she actually, like a couple of months ago, we were at this, 'cause her favorite episode is the one you guys did with Matthew Reese.
00:43:28
- That was a good guy.
00:43:29
- She loved it.
00:43:30
- She listened to it more than once and she, so we're at this party and she goes, "Oh, Matthew's here.
00:43:33
"Let's go say hi."
00:43:34
And she started dragging me over.
00:43:36
And I was like, "Matthew, who?"
00:43:36
And then she, right before we got to him, she stopped being sort of pushing me.
00:43:39
She was, "Never mind.
00:43:40
"We haven't met him.
00:43:41
"We're not friends.
00:43:42
"Oh, my God.
00:43:43
I love her already.
00:43:44
What is her name?
00:43:45
-Jazz.
00:43:46
-Jazz.
00:43:48
-Jazz.
00:43:48
-Jazz, easy.
00:43:49
And it's not short for anything.
00:43:50
Actually, right when I met her, I was one of the first things I said, "It's not.
00:43:54
It's dumb."
00:43:54
When I first met her, I shook her hand and I said, "What's your name?"
00:43:58
She went, "Jazz?"
00:43:59
I said, "Jazz, Jay, easy.
00:44:00
Like the music."
00:44:01
She went, "Yeah, I said, "Well, that's fucking stupid."
00:44:03
And it just came out of me.
00:44:04
And right away, I was like, "I blew it, but instead she laughed, so it worked out pretty well."
00:44:09
-Where were you when you guys met?
00:44:10
Tell us the stories.
00:44:11
Is it a meat kill?
00:44:12
-A bar.
00:44:13
But that was it.
00:44:14
I mean, what I love about the stories, it's fast.
00:44:16
That was pretty much it.
00:44:17
The only other thing was when I walked into a bar with a friend, I saw her.
00:44:21
Yeah, that's a New York City.
00:44:24
I don't know where the car's taking me, but yeah.
00:44:27
-My dealer.
00:44:28
-My dealer.
00:44:29
I walked in a bar.
00:44:31
I saw her in a yelled, "Holy shit."
00:44:33
-What city?
00:44:34
New York.
00:44:35
New York.
00:44:36
-New York.
00:44:36
-Yeah.
00:44:37
-And I was with this dude.
00:44:38
And I said, "Hey, we need to go stand near this girl, which I'm realizing now, sounds kind of creepy."
00:44:43
And so we stood near her.
00:44:45
-So what we had to do before these dating apps, you just had to, like, kind of circle show up.
00:44:50
-You're an easy now, right?
00:44:50
This was 13 years ago.
00:44:52
She was sitting at a table with some dude, and the moment he got to leave to go to the bathroom, I just jumped in there and stole his seat.
00:44:59
-No way.
00:45:00
-And I literally, like, all I did is I sat down and said, "Sorry, I just stole your friend's seat."
00:45:04
And she went, "That's okay."
00:45:05
I said, "Was that your boyfriend?"
00:45:06
She said, "No."
00:45:06
I said, "Do you have a boyfriend?"
00:45:07
She went, "No."
00:45:08
I said, "Then I'm Keirin."
00:45:09
-Wow.
00:45:10
-Oh, wow.
00:45:11
I've never been this in my life.
00:45:13
-Oh, wow.
00:45:13
I've never been this in my life.
00:45:13
-And then she said, "I'm jazz."
00:45:14
And you said, "That's fucking stupid."
00:45:15
-And I said, "That's fucking stupid."
00:45:17
-And then what are you drinking?
00:45:18
-You guys have been making music ever since.
00:45:20
-And you guys have been making music ever since.
00:45:20
-What put her down again, do you remember?
00:45:23
-It was, what the hell was the name of the place?
00:45:25
It was on 7th and A.
00:45:28
It was called "Cabin Downblow."
00:45:30
-Oh, nice.
00:45:31
Do you know that one?
00:45:32
-I don't know if I know Cabin Downblow.
00:45:34
-7th and A.
00:45:35
That's so that is lower east side.
00:45:37
-I don't want to see it.
00:45:37
-Lower east side.
00:45:38
One of those places where I kept getting turned away every time I tried to go there, they were like, "It's a private party because I didn't, I wasn't dressed cool or I wasn't famous."
00:45:47
But they knew my wife.
00:45:50
There was one time I went there and I was with a couple of some not meaning to name drop.
00:45:54
I was there with a couple famous people.
00:45:56
And I walked up first and they were like, "Sorry, private party."
00:46:00
And I looked back at one of my friends.
00:46:02
I'll just tell you who it was.
00:46:03
It was Scarlett Johansson.
00:46:05
She's like, "I got this."
00:46:06
And she walked up and she goes, "Hi, they're with me."
00:46:08
And he looked at her and said, "It's a private party."
00:46:10
And then he looked at the wind.
00:46:13
He looked at the wind.
00:46:14
Jazz?
00:46:14
And she was like, "Oh, are they with you?"
00:46:16
And she said, "Nice.
00:46:17
Come on."
00:46:18
-Oh, man, the wind.
00:46:20
-She's a fucking people.
00:46:21
She's like, "That's one of those New York fucking people."
00:46:23
-Jazzy Jazz.
00:46:24
She's one of those people, man.
00:46:26
She makes friends everywhere.
00:46:27
-Now since you guys are, since acting is generational, what about the three-year-old and the five-year-old?
00:46:33
What are you thinking?
00:46:34
I'm not against that.
00:46:35
-You're going to support it?
00:46:37
-Yeah.
00:46:37
I mean, I had a really nice experience with it growing up.
00:46:41
Yeah, it was never fun.
00:46:42
-However, it is that thing.
00:46:44
Getting back to that other point.
00:46:45
It's like, "Are you going to, at some point, I would imagine you would say, "Now, would you want to kind of help your odds a little bit by going to college at the same time,
00:46:56
maybe?"
00:46:57
-I would probably encourage an education.
00:46:59
I never got one, but I don't know.
00:47:02
You have would probably encourage that.
00:47:04
I don't really know.
00:47:05
I've also heard of people.
00:47:06
This is something I kind of wish.
00:47:08
It hasn't come to bite me in the ass really, but I remember doing a lot of press as a kid, and I feel like I would maybe try to protect them from doing that a bit, because sometimes I'll get quoted on something stupid.
00:47:19
I said, "I'm like, I was 13.
00:47:20
That's not really actually think.
00:47:22
I don't, you know?"
00:47:23
-Sure.
00:47:23
I remember that time you paid that guy to bite you in the ass.
00:47:29
-Sorry, just remind me of that story.
00:47:32
-Surprisingly cheap, too, wasn't it?
00:47:34
-Yeah.
00:47:35
I mean, he lowered his rates for me.
00:47:37
There's also the part about training yourself to believeably be someone else at a time when you're trying to figure out who you are,
00:47:50
like, starting to act when you're a little kid.
00:47:51
Did that ever screw you up at all?
00:47:53
-No, I think other things probably screwed me up.
00:47:56
I don't know if that was it.
00:47:57
-Yeah.
00:47:58
-What fuck do you guys up?
00:47:59
-You're feeling pretty balanced now.
00:48:01
The self-analysis or professional analysis?
00:48:05
-I'm a big therapy.
00:48:06
-No therapy.
00:48:07
I prefer to go undiagnosed.
00:48:09
-Yeah, I love therapy.
00:48:11
-Just I should.
00:48:12
I know if you guys...
00:48:13
-Long walks work, too.
00:48:15
-Yeah, Sean, you got therapy.
00:48:18
-I go to therapy every week.
00:48:20
I love it.
00:48:21
-Yeah, you do.
00:48:21
-Instead of dumping it all on Scotty, I just pay somebody to listen to it.
00:48:24
-Again, I pay somebody to jump it all.
00:48:27
-Damn it, fuse the baby to it.
00:48:29
-Oh, my god.
00:48:34
-All right, Karen, what about are we a sports fan television show fan?
00:48:40
-No, no, no, no.
00:48:43
I don't understand it.
00:48:47
-I don't know, I just don't have time.
00:48:48
I don't even get to the gym.
00:48:49
-So do you go to meet people for coffee?
00:48:50
Do you like...
00:48:51
-No, I don't really even have friends anymore.
00:48:53
-What will you have?
00:48:54
-Click and you just hang out.
00:48:55
-Kinda.
00:48:55
-What will you do after this, Karen, after you're done with this little...
00:48:58
-He's got to zoom and then he's got to go do more press.
00:49:01
-I'm not like a press thing and I got the thing.
00:49:03
I like doing this.
00:49:04
This is kind of a new one.
00:49:05
I think I need therapy because I like flower arrangements now.
00:49:08
-Do you really?
00:49:10
-I do, I like doing that.
00:49:11
-That gives me some calm.
00:49:12
-What about a garden on the roof of your apartment?
00:49:13
-That's such a nightmare.
00:49:15
It's New York.
00:49:15
That's not going to be nice.
00:49:16
-There's public gardens.
00:49:17
You can rest a public square garden in a public square.
00:49:20
-Bit of a bummer too, I find.
00:49:22
-I'll do crafts with you until we...
00:49:24
-Careful, Karen.
00:49:25
-All the time until what?
00:49:27
-Yeah, I don't know, but we could get macaroni and glue and make stuff on a paper plate.
00:49:31
-I could do that with my children, but yeah, please come on over.
00:49:33
-Yeah, I do.
00:49:34
You can enjoy this.
00:49:35
We got all that stuff.
00:49:36
-He's turned into morphinetics.
00:49:38
He's going to steal your silver wire.
00:49:40
It's not...
00:49:41
-I'll never leave him alone with the kids, but yeah, he can come over and supervise.
00:49:43
-Now, when do you start rehearsals on the play?
00:49:46
-Yeah.
00:49:47
-Oh, gosh.
00:49:48
February or something like that.
00:49:49
-Can we get a commitment?
00:49:52
Can the three of us come to the opening night of your play?
00:49:56
-Yeah, you're invited.
00:49:57
The public is inviting my stupid ass.
00:49:59
-No, I'll ask you if you don't publicize.
00:50:01
-You need me to give up one of my five ticket seats?
00:50:04
-Yes.
00:50:05
-I mean, I could.
00:50:05
Yeah, fine.
00:50:06
-Yeah, yeah, I mean, leave him alone.
00:50:07
-I'm sure you have connections with yourself, but fine.
00:50:09
You three are my guests.
00:50:10
-You want to come?
00:50:11
-No plus ones, though.
00:50:12
-Exactly.
00:50:13
-Now, is jazz in the business as well?
00:50:15
-No, not at all.
00:50:16
-But she understands enough about what you do to...
00:50:20
-It's taken a while.
00:50:22
-That felt nice.
00:50:23
-She used to think that, like, she goes, "I don't understand why actors get awards and things."
00:50:28
She's literally thought that, like, directors puppeteered the actor, told them where to sit, and the cadence on how to speak.
00:50:35
So that's literally what her point of view was on it.
00:50:37
She had never been on a set or anything around it.
00:50:39
-Right.
00:50:40
-She's come to understand.
00:50:41
-Where'd she grow up, Chechnya?
00:50:42
Like, what's going on?
00:50:43
[ Laughter ] -London.
00:50:45
But, yeah.
00:50:46
-Okay.
00:50:47
-Closer than here.
00:50:48
-I do like clothes.
00:50:49
You guys spend a lot of time over there as a result of that.
00:50:51
-We do.
00:50:51
Yeah, I love it out there.
00:50:53
That'd be always...
00:50:54
-I do too.
00:50:55
I notice the throw...
00:50:56
-Yeah, that is what we do here.
00:51:00
-Look at Sean.
00:51:01
Look at Sean's right eye.
00:51:03
Is it...
00:51:03
-Oh, my God.
00:51:04
Is it open?
00:51:05
-No, no.
00:51:05
The whole show, it's just been half open.
00:51:08
The left one's fully open.
00:51:09
The right one is really tired.
00:51:11
-Oh, my God.
00:51:13
-This morning Sean spent 45 minutes bent at the waist outside of Sean's door this morning.
00:51:18
[ Laughter ] -It's so true.
00:51:22
-It's so true.
00:51:22
I was at the ER at Seaters, and there was, like, it was a seven-hour wait.
00:51:27
-What?
00:51:27
-But it's wrong with you.
00:51:28
Why didn't you cancel?
00:51:30
Because I had...
00:51:32
There's no other option.
00:51:33
-Was Scottie with you?
00:51:34
-Yeah.
00:51:35
-So you didn't take the driverless cab this time?
00:51:38
-I told him, I'm like, "Fuck off.
00:51:39
I'll just take the thing."
00:51:41
-That's weird.
00:51:42
-What's it called again?
00:51:42
-Waymo.
00:51:43
-Waymo.
00:51:44
And you did have a good experience, right?
00:51:45
-Yeah, I love the waymo.
00:51:47
-Yeah.
00:51:48
-Did they have that yet in New York?
00:51:49
-Yeah.
00:51:50
I would never...
00:51:51
-If the driverless is the driverless...
00:51:53
-Oh, that's because it's shit out of me.
00:51:54
No, I haven't seen any here for no reason.
00:51:55
-How do you get around New York?
00:51:56
Are you a bike rider?
00:51:57
-Oh, God no.
00:51:58
I don't do that either.
00:51:59
See, that would fall under hobby probably.
00:52:01
Or at least exercise, and I don't do that.
00:52:03
Yeah, no.
00:52:03
-Are you a subway guy?
00:52:04
-Subway, yeah, yeah.
00:52:05
That's the best way to get my kids to school.
00:52:07
-And if it's raining, you'd take a cab.
00:52:09
-No, it's not today.
00:52:11
It's rainy today.
00:52:12
-How do you...
00:52:14
You know what I've never figured out about the Subways?
00:52:16
Once you come up out of the stairs after you've reached your destination, I can't figure out whether I'm looking north, south, east, or west, because I can't find the sun.
00:52:24
-Oh, my God, because you're used to getting in the back seat and your driver just taking you places?
00:52:27
-Oh, yeah.
00:52:28
-Sir, can you change your radio station?
00:52:30
-Oh, host.
00:52:34
I actually requested nobody talk to me on this ride.
00:52:37
You know how you know a lot of the times JB is because on the avenue, certainly on the avenues, you know which direction they go, whether they go uptown or downtown,
00:52:47
so you can get a sense of that.
00:52:47
-Yeah, you can look at the numbers.
00:52:48
I think if you can count, you can sort of figure out.
00:52:50
-Yeah, but that necessitates walking a block to see if the numbers are going up or down.
00:52:54
That's...
00:52:55
-Oh, that's my problem.
00:52:56
-Yes, you might walk one block out of the way.
00:52:59
-But I shouldn't have to walk a block to figure out which way I'm going.
00:53:02
-Well, you also have like smart phones now.
00:53:04
-Do you want to go to a council meeting in New York?
00:53:06
Maybe you can be heard, you don't mean that.
00:53:08
-What would you suggest?
00:53:11
Is somebody at the exit of every station telling you where to go?
00:53:14
-In England, they take the time to paint on the road there, look left.
00:53:18
You know, like maybe New York can say, you are facing north on the ground.
00:53:22
-Yeah, but it doesn't say which direction you're facing.
00:53:25
-No, but I'm saying...
00:53:26
-Case dismissed.
00:53:27
-That's why you don't get hit by a car.
00:53:30
-I'm saying, you know, I understand.
00:53:32
But I'm saying there are efforts that the infrastructure folks can go to, you know, to help out the people on the road.
00:53:38
-This is real stuff.
00:53:39
-Sean, I remember last time you were having dinner at Richard and Jenny's and you came outside and I was bent over at the waist.
00:53:43
This is true and I said that I looked at him and go, "Yeah, how are you?"
00:53:46
Do you remember that?
00:53:48
-That was...
00:53:49
-I was one of the hardest.
00:53:50
-When you were left, then why?
00:53:51
-When you hunched over at the waist.
00:53:53
-You know, Richard, Richard Ehrlich.
00:53:54
-Yeah, that was the worst realtor.
00:53:56
If you're looking for a house in Los Angeles area, contact Richard earlier.
00:53:59
-That's a true story.
00:54:00
-That is true story.
00:54:01
And we walk out to our cars at night's over and we're walking out to his driveway and Will goes acting like he's completely bombed out of his mind.
00:54:11
He goes, "Hey, man, can I ask you something?"
00:54:14
I go, "Yeah, he goes, "Do you know where I can get some heroin?"
00:54:17
I'm just asking for a friend.
00:54:18
I'm asking for a heroin.
00:54:21
I'm asking for a friend.
00:54:22
-I don't want anything to do with it.
00:54:24
-Let's not make light of people who are struggling with it.
00:54:27
-No, of course not.
00:54:27
-It was just a funny time.
00:54:29
-We're just having fun because Sean happens to be hooked on morphine.
00:54:33
-Oh, God.
00:54:36
-I'm addicted to.
00:54:37
-Karen, this is it.
00:54:41
-We could just talk to you all day knowing that you have nothing else to do.
00:54:44
-Oh, man.
00:54:45
-You can do this all over again.
00:54:47
You've got to do it all over again, right?
00:54:49
-Is there anything you want to ask Sean?
00:54:50
Is there anything because you've listened to a few episodes?
00:54:53
Is there anything you need to know from Sean?
00:54:54
Go ahead, he's...
00:54:55
-Ask him why he hates his colon so much.
00:54:57
-Yeah, why is he always in the hospital?
00:54:59
What is wrong with you?
00:55:00
-No, because my heart thing is the big thing.
00:55:04
But it's all being taken care of.
00:55:06
-Well, you know why, Karen, if you went to Sean's Gotty's house every day, every meal, it's like a 12-year-old's birthday party.
00:55:12
-This is true.
00:55:12
-Okay.
00:55:13
-I know.
00:55:14
-It's true, it's true.
00:55:15
-Now, it's hard to be the same.
00:55:17
-I'm kind of the same when it's the food thing.
00:55:20
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:55:22
-You like the food?
00:55:23
-I do, and it's the shitty stuff.
00:55:25
My wife, the other day, reached in and grabbed some cheetos that I was eating and was about to.
00:55:30
And then she let go and said, "What am I doing?
00:55:32
Wait, what are you doing?
00:55:33
Where did these come from?"
00:55:34
When I said, "They were in the house."
00:55:35
She goes, "How?
00:55:36
Stop putting this in our house."
00:55:38
-Right, how old the man are you?
00:55:40
-42.
00:55:41
-Yeah, and I can't be eating like that.
00:55:42
-Do you guys take turns going to the market and doing the shopping?
00:55:46
-Yeah, and then, you know, I do that thing where I shop hungry, and then I'm buying the, I find they have, like, that chicken in a biscuit.
00:55:52
You know those, like, box crackers, chicken.
00:55:53
-Yeah, I love those.
00:55:54
I'll buy them by the case.
00:55:56
-I love just pushing the cart row by row by row.
00:55:59
No list at all.
00:56:00
I'm just going to go down.
00:56:01
Each row, however long it takes.
00:56:02
I'm going to look at everything and see what I want.
00:56:05
-But you don't put anything in the cart, right?
00:56:06
Because you need to check out.
00:56:07
-Oh, no, I feel it.
00:56:08
-JB, I love hearing you describe sort of normal, you know, everyday necessity for people as a novel idea.
00:56:15
You know what I mean?
00:56:15
It's like a fun-- -Hastag relatable food.
00:56:17
-You know what I mean?
00:56:17
-It's fun.
00:56:18
-You can do an office and do all the places.
00:56:21
-I like to pretend I have a job.
00:56:22
I was like, "Berk, berk, berk."
00:56:24
[ Laughter ] -Oh, amazing, amazing.
00:56:28
Kieran, tell me what a delight you are.
00:56:30
-Yeah, I have a lot of delight.
00:56:32
-You're a good man.
00:56:34
-You'd be a good dinner hang.
00:56:35
Well, maybe we'll hit you up for dinner in New York.
00:56:37
-Come see the show.
00:56:38
-Yeah, I want to see the show.
00:56:40
I really want to see the show.
00:56:40
-But first of all, hang out and do the thing.
00:56:42
-Yeah.
00:56:43
-You guys never do repeat guests on your show either, right?
00:56:45
-We have done it on live when we did the tour.
00:56:48
We did some repeats and had some friends.
00:56:49
-I remember that.
00:56:50
I watched that.
00:56:51
Doc, he was great.
00:56:52
-Yeah, yeah.
00:56:52
-That's when I learned from you, Jason, and I think about it every time.
00:56:55
I'm about to shake a salad.
00:56:56
You said, "Don't shake it."
00:56:57
Do you remember that?
00:56:58
You put, like, whatever you put the dressing into salad, you don't shake it.
00:57:01
-Don't shake it.
00:57:02
-I think of it every time now.
00:57:03
And I go, "Oh, wait, I'm not supposed to shake it."
00:57:05
And I go, "Wait, why?
00:57:06
What's wrong with you?"
00:57:06
-Let it cascade.
00:57:07
-Why?
00:57:08
-No, you got to shake it.
00:57:08
You got to shake it to get it even.
00:57:10
-I'm a pretty bigger shaker now.
00:57:20
Merch, this is what you guys need.
00:57:21
More clothes like that.
00:57:22
What a cascade.
00:57:22
That's a sweater right there.
00:57:23
-And the Tracy one.
00:57:24
-That's right.
00:57:25
-Yeah, and the Tracy one, which he wears.
00:57:26
-Talk like I'm Tracy.
00:57:27
-I would talk and see you.
00:57:29
-You are a guy who you deserve all the success that you're having now, especially considering how hard you worked and how talented you are.
00:57:36
Such a massive fan.
00:57:37
Dude, honestly, what a thrill to have you.
00:57:39
-Yeah, keep going.
00:57:40
-This is a dream come true.
00:57:41
I mean, thanks, guys.
00:57:42
Tracy, Tracy, big, big fan.
00:57:44
-See you in a few months.
00:57:45
Go get it.
00:57:46
-Bye, Karen.
00:57:47
-Bye, Karen.
00:57:47
-Thanks, pal.
00:57:48
And he's slamming it.
00:57:50
-They told me to not slam it, but I'm slamming it.
00:57:52
-Who says not?
00:57:53
-I know, no, don't slam it.
00:57:54
-They said don't slam it.
00:57:54
-Because you've done doing your work.
00:57:56
-Are you doing your work?
00:57:57
-I am.
00:57:58
That's why I got to do a thing.
00:57:59
Do I do a thing now?
00:58:00
-Do your thing, and then you can slam it.
00:58:02
-This is a great goodbye.
00:58:03
-Yeah.
00:58:03
-I don't know how to do it.
00:58:04
-What do I do?
00:58:10
What do I do with the thing?
00:58:13
I don't know what I'm doing.
00:58:15
-If you bring your mouse to the bottom, do you see that little sound icon?
00:58:18
-No.
00:58:19
-Yes, no.
00:58:20
-Click on that.
00:58:21
-Yes, and then it hits stop.
00:58:22
-It hits stop and then hits say.
00:58:23
-You've got to use this as part of the goodbye.
00:58:24
Okay.
00:58:25
I press stop, and then no.
00:58:26
I just press stop.
00:58:27
I don't see anything that says save.
00:58:28
We're fucked.
00:58:29
-At the top left, file and save.
00:58:30
-Save.
00:58:31
-Save these.
00:58:32
-Oh, my God.
00:58:33
-I can slam it now.
00:58:34
-That's it.
00:58:35
-Slam it.
00:58:36
-Love you, bye.
00:58:37
-Love you, bye.
00:58:38
-Love you, bye.
00:58:39
-Now, there's a nice young fellow, Will.
00:58:42
-There is a nice young fellow.
00:58:43
You're right.
00:58:44
What a great guy.
00:58:45
I've been excited to have him.
00:58:48
Like I said, we had to reschedule.
00:58:51
That was a whole thing.
00:58:53
But I was like, oh, God, we were so close to getting him.
00:58:56
So glad we had him on.
00:58:57
-I've always wanted to meet him.
00:58:59
-The interviews I've seen him do, I just thought, God, that's a great guy.
00:59:03
I wonder if they just got him on a good day.
00:59:05
You know, I hope he's really liked that.
00:59:07
And he really is.
00:59:08
-He is.
00:59:09
-He really is like that.
00:59:10
-I want to work with him.
00:59:11
I want to hang with him.
00:59:12
-Hey, Sean.
00:59:13
No, as you scanned the bias.
00:59:14
-I wanted to talk to him about his eyes scanned.
00:59:15
-Well, I'm about to watch Home Alone again because I watch it every year.
00:59:16
And he's got a little time.
00:59:17
-He's in it and Home Alone.
00:59:18
-Yeah.
00:59:19
-I love that.
00:59:20
-I bet she's still getting residuals on that.
00:59:28
They're not thick ones anymore.
00:59:33
-I should.
00:59:34
-You know what film he was in?
00:59:36
He was in the first one.
00:59:37
-Willie's painting.
00:59:38
-And also the second one.
00:59:39
-Yeah.
00:59:40
-Which is what?
00:59:41
-Father of the...
00:59:42
-Bright!
00:59:43
-Bright!
00:59:44
-Bright!
00:59:45
-Bright!
00:59:46
-That was pretty good.
00:59:48
-Smart.
00:59:49
-Smart.
00:59:50
-Smart.
00:59:51
-Smart.
00:59:52
-Smart.
00:59:54
-Smart.
00:59:55
-Smart.
00:59:56
-Smart.
00:59:57
-Smart.
00:59:58
-Smart.
00:59:59
-Smart.
01:00:00
-Smartless is 100% organic.
01:00:02
And artisantly handcrafted by Rob Armjurf, Bennett Barbaco, and Michael Granterry.
01:00:14
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01:00:22