In today’s video, I’m going to talk about a thought experiment you can try if you feel like your girlfriend’s past relationships are “killing” you.







Read or watch below if you’ve ever said the words “My girlfriend’s past is killing me!”



















Zachary Stockill: As you probably know, I get endless emails from retroactive jealousy sufferers from all over the world. In particular, a lot of men write to me saying that their girlfriend’s past relationships are killing them.







In most of these cases, there’s a specific thought experiment that I would recommend that I think it’d be really helpful in this scenario. 







So if you feel like “my girlfriend’s past is killing me,” I think you’re going to want to read the rest of the article.







By the way, for all of the people watching this, who don’t know what the heck the word or the term retroactive jealousy means: the term retroactive jealousy refers to unwanted intrusive thoughts, sometimes obsessive curiosity, and what I call “mental movies” regarding a partner’s past relationships and/or sexual history.







It’s a serious problem that plagues thousands of people from all over the world. 







If you’re struggling with the fact of your girlfriend’s past relationships and/or her sexual history, and if you’re wavering on the point of “Should I stay? Or should I go? Is this a dealbreaker? Or is it not?”







If that sounds familiar, if that describes your current situation, I want you to try this thought experiment:







So just imagine that the intrusive thoughts are completely gone. 







Pretend that there’s a switch in your brain that you can just flick, and you’ll never have those thoughts ever again.















You’re never going to be struggling with the obsessive curiosity and the need to know more, you’re never going to have that urge to ask questions, and no more mental movies. It’s completely out of your life. It’s not an issue.







However, the truth of your girlfriend’s past is still the same. 







In other words, all that stuff still happened. She still has her past, whatever it looks like, whatever happened. That’s still true. But you never think about it. It still happened. But it’s not an issue in your life, because you never think about it. 







In this thought experiment, in this imaginary world that I’m creating, I ask you: you still may not love your girlfriend’s past. But can you live with it?







You don’t have to love it. But you should be able to live with it. Or should I say: if you want to stay in your relationship, you should be able to live with it.







I wanted to relate this thought experiment because I think it brings up an important point, an important perspective:







At a certain point when you’re struggling with retroactive jealousy, it’s about making that choice. It’s about saying,