Welcome to Episode #122 of the Fight for a Happy Life podcast, “Yin or Yang: A Tale of Two Black Belts.”

There are many paths to choose from in the martial arts… but how do you know if you’re on the right one? Wait—there’s actually an even bigger question to think about—

Should you be following in someone’s else’s path at all?

Don’t get me wrong—I’ve been blessed to train under several amazing teachers over the years, but the fact is they all believed in different things! One says do this, one says do that.

As a student, it’s been confusing (and frustrating!) to seek advice from teachers I respect, only to receive concepts and tactics that completely contradict one another. I’ll bet that’s happened to you, too!

So, in this episode, let’s see if there’s a greater wisdom hiding behind all of that well-meaning, but conflicting advice. Is it possible we’re not supposed to choose between Yin or Yang? Is it possible to walk a path that reconciles both?

Check it out and let me know what you think!

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Yin or Yang: A Tale of Two Black Belts

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TRANSCRIPT

Howdy, Ando here from Happy Life Martial Arts. Welcome to episode #122 of Fight for a Happy Life, the show that believes even a little martial arts makes life a whole lot better.

Now, last time, episode number 121, the theme was confidence. Self-defense is rooted in self-confidence, that was my claim. But where does confidence come from?

The answer, I say, it should come from you. It shouldn’t come from a teacher. It shouldn’t come from a panel who votes for you. It shouldn’t come from a certificate. It should come from within.

So today, I want to stick to that theme and give you another example of how I’ve come to this way of thinking.

A Tale of Two Black Belts. Let me introduce you to two teachers that I have worked with. They don’t know each other. And I’m not going to share their names because, well, they didn’t ask to be dragged into this.

So let me tell you about these two teachers. I think you’ll be amazed at how many similarities they share. I’m always amazed by it.

First of all, both of these teachers are male. Okay, they’re both smaller gentlemen. They would never be the biggest person in the class. So let’s say they’re both around five foot six. Let’s say they’re always around 130, 135 pounds. No more.

They’re also both about my age, so over 50. So right off the bat, that’s a lot of similarities.

They’re also both good guys. They’re also both intelligent people. They are also both blessed with a good sense of humor.

They’re also lifers. They’ve been training in the martial arts of one kind or another their entire lives. They’re also both grinders. They’re not lazy about it.

They’re in great shape. They work at it. They’re compulsive about it.

They also are teachers of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, but that’s not all. They also have instructor level status in multiple arts. They know how to hit and they know how to submit.

Now, they’re also both professionals. I should say that they’re full timers. This isn’t something they used to do in their 20s or 30s. They’re still at it.

So that’s a huge list of similarities. For two guys who have never met, never crossed paths, every time I work with either one of them, I’m always reminded of the other.

The biggest difference between them, yes, there’s a difference, which always strikes me as odd, is that they don’t fight the same at all. And that always blows my mind.

Because I keep thinking, man, you’re just like this other teacher I know, in every way except the reason that I seek you out. The way you fight.

How can that be?

They face the same problems, how to fight and defend themselves against people who are bigger and stronger. They have about the same tools. They have the same experiences. They’ve been on the mats about the same number of hours, let’s say. And yet, they’ve come to completely different solutions.

And that blows my mind.

So at the risk of oversimplifying, let me sum up how they fight in this way. One is Yin and one is Yang. Yin and Yang.

One of them believes in attacking first, taking charge. They believe in getting in your face, coming in hard, creating impact. And I can tell you, when you roll or you spar with them, you know you’re in a fight. Right from the beginning, you know it, you can feel it.

The other one, no. The other one believes in counterattacking. They believe in yielding and flowing. They believe in turning things around. When you spar or you roll with them, you don’t really know you’re in trouble until it’s too late. They’ve been setting a trap for you the whole time.

Completely different.

Now, don’t get me wrong, they’re both well-rounded martial artists, but for sure, if you spar to work with either one of them, I think you’d come to the same conclusions that I have.

Now, I find that really frustrating because if I seek them out as teachers, they’re giving opposite advice, right? I seek smaller teachers. I like working with smaller teachers because to me, that means they must by trial by fire, they have figured out how to deal with larger, stronger attackers, which is the dream, I think, of every martial artist. You want to be outgunned, but still figure out how to survive.

So when I go to either one of them looking for the tricks, the secrets of the martial arts, and to find out that they have different sets of answers, it bothers me. Because that means the answers have to come back from me.

I can’t just take one of their bag of tricks and use it for myself. Because there’s another teacher that I respect that has the complete opposite opinion. Frustrating.

And of course, I’m reducing my entire martial arts career into just these two teachers, but this is true for every teacher I’ve worked with pretty much. Sure there’s things that they have in common, there are some principles that overlap, but overall, my teachers all disagree with one another.

They don’t know each other. They’re all great at what they do, but they give me different advice.

One teacher absolutely believes in forms, in kata. That is the lifeblood of their practice. Other teachers that I respect have zero use for kata, think it’s a waste of time. Why would you ever do that?

Some of the teachers that I respect, not into sparring, don’t like it. Other teachers I respect, absolutely, there’s going to be sparring every time you get with them.

One might be into weights, other teachers not so much, body conditioning. One’s into meditation, visualization, a lot of mental work. Others, no, waste of time, keep moving, use it or lose it.

Some teachers believe in teaching techniques first, and over time you decode the principles behind them. Other teachers say, no, I don’t teach techniques, I will only teach you principles and you’ll have to create your own techniques out of that.

What is going on? How can this be? How can you have such completely opposite opinions and yet still all be really good at what you do?

This reminded me of my experience taking philosophy in college. When I took philosophy in college, I may have talked about this before, at first I was thrilled because the first generation of lessons that I got, the first philos