DiscoverWild & Waking172 | The Growth Gap: Choosing Yourself Without Losing Each Other with Marriage Coach Maggie Reyes
172 | The Growth Gap: Choosing Yourself Without Losing Each Other with Marriage Coach Maggie Reyes

172 | The Growth Gap: Choosing Yourself Without Losing Each Other with Marriage Coach Maggie Reyes

Update: 2025-11-06
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What happens when your personal evolution begins to stretch the space between you and your partner? In this deeply honest and compassionate conversation, Emily sits down with feminist marriage coach Maggie Reyes to explore what she calls The Growth Gap, the tension that arises when one partner is actively growing, healing, or awakening, while the other clings to what feels safe, familiar, or expected.

Together, they unpack how to navigate seasons of self-discovery, faith shifts, and identity work without losing connection or abandoning yourself. Maggie introduces her signature “Power of One” philosophy, rooted in systems theory, which teaches that when one person in a relationship changes, the entire dynamic begins to shift. Through humor, real-life stories, and grounded examples, she offers practical tools for honoring your transformation while creating deeper intimacy, even when your partner isn’t “doing the work.”

They discuss what it means to “go first,” how to recognize the difference between fear and disrespect, and how to communicate your growth in ways that invite curiosity instead of defensiveness. Maggie also shares powerful re-frames around resentment, compassion, and the myth that both partners must grow at the same pace or in the same way.

Whether you’re deconstructing long-held beliefs, exploring new layers of yourself, or simply feeling the growing pains of change within your relationship, this conversation is a breath of relief and a roadmap for love that expands instead of contracts.

In this episode, we explore:

  • What The Growth Gap is and why it happens when one partner evolves and the other resists change
  • How to honor your personal growth without abandoning your relationship or yourself
  • Maggie’s “Power of One” framework and how one person’s transformation can shift the entire relationship
  • The myth that partners must grow at the same pace (and what actually sustains long-term connection)
  • How to communicate your insights and new awareness without triggering defensiveness
  • The difference between fear, indifference, and contempt, and how to know which you’re facing
  • What to do when your growth brings up tension around faith, identity, or worldview differences
  • The mindset of “I go first” and why it’s key for creating healthy change
  • Why curiosity, consent, and compassion are essential for meaningful conversations
  • How to know when growth differences are workable, and when they signal deeper misalignment

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172 | The Growth Gap: Choosing Yourself Without Losing Each Other with Marriage Coach Maggie Reyes

172 | The Growth Gap: Choosing Yourself Without Losing Each Other with Marriage Coach Maggie Reyes