The Queen Bee - The virgin simpleton vs. the chad brothers: Tiny creatures have a big day when a much less clever Tyrion Lannister teams up with an army of ants and some very questionable bees to do some dumb puzzles and win a wife. The bee queen sits on the faces of a bunch of young girls (not kidding) and makes out with them while they're drugged and unconscious in order to decide which one is the youngest/hottest (still not kidding). Then, the idiot's ALPHA brothers (who have been doing coke and partying this whole time, by the way) burst onto the scene and take the girl's hot sisters for themselves. It's a win for everyone, but an L for respecting women. Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.

The Hare's Bride - Why don't you have seat right over here for me? I'm Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC and I want to ask you some questions. "Oh, no" what? Please keep the carrots right where I can see them. What were you planning on doing with those? Persuading an underage girl to run away and get married to you? Inviting a bunch of other animals to it? What were you planning on doing with them? Well, we have the transcripts. Sir? Come here for one second. Why don't you come back over here, sir?

The Rose - A boy gets a flower from a ghost and he gives it to his mom and it blooms and the kid dies. HELLO, EPIC DEPARTMENT?? I'D LIKE TO FILE A CLAIM.

The Seven Ravens - A wholesome tale about love, sacrifice, and redemption. A father's love for his daughter (not in a bad way) and a sister's love for her brothers (again, not in a bad way) are the focus of this adventure that takes us on a journey we never could have imagined. The earth is flat, the sun is evil, stars are zooted off that good good, and the glass mountain dwarves are LIT. ..Just talking about this story makes me regret my shamefully low rating, actually. I really regret that now. What was I thinking? This story had everything. BRACE YOURSELVES, A RETRACTION IS COMING.

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Intro/Outro Music: From Russia With Love - Huma-Huma

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