Your identity is how you define yourself in this world. It’s who you see yourself as and what you believe about you. God has an identity for you, and the enemy wants to replace it with an imitation. God knows if you ever really saw yourself as who he created you to be, then you would be a mighty force of his power. Satan knows if he can trick you into settling for his imitation identity for you, then you will forfeit God’s power and no longer be a threat.

That’s the battle – identity. Who are you and why are you here?

The story of Paul in our Bible shows us a man who had one identity, then that identity was radically changed by God. Like many in that time, he had two names. Saul was his Hebrew name, Paul was his Greek name. When talking to the Jews, he used the name Saul. When talking to the Gentiles, he used the name Paul. Don’t be confused by the two names – Saul and Paul are the same man. It’s very similar to a difference in pronunciation. (In America, I’m Pamela – But when I’m in Italy, I’m Pau-mel-uh. I prefer me in Italy.)

The book of Romans is Paul’s letter to the church in Rome. He wrote this letter about 25 years after the crucifixion of Jesus. Paul identifies himself in the opening line of the letter. Romans 1:1, “This letter is from Paul, a slave of Christ Jesus, chosen by God to be an apostle and sent out to preach his Good News.” In one sentence, he declares his complete identity. He says, this is who I am and this is my place in this world.

There’s simply no wiggle room there. There’s no cracked door for the enemy to creep in and peddle his imitation. There’s no questioning. It’s clear. Paul says I know who I am and I know what I’m here to do.

That leaves me to question – Do I securely know who I am and what I’m here to do? Am I absolutely certain of my identity? Or have I left myself vulnerable to Satan’s insistent offerings of something less? I’m personally discovering if you don’t continually stay grounded in God’s truths, you’ll get twisted up in a half-truth and find yourself believing you’re God’s girl, but also believing you’re not quite good enough for his purposes.

Personally, I’ve been in a bit of a battle. You likely don’t know that because you only hear my voice and my voice still sounds remarkably skinny, now doesn’t it? But my body isn’t. My body is going through some tough seasons and changes and it’s generally confused and disgruntled – thus my body has decided no matter what I do it’s going to self-insulate like a bear going into hibernation, and ya’ll it’s looking like the first snow is coming soon around here. The only thing that still fits me are my earrings. I’ve had several good cries about it and a few mini-breakdowns while on live video.

I’m sharing this with you today, not to make excuses or to try and rally the troops and complain about menopause. Nope – that does none of us any good. I’m sharing this to say, I understand an identity issue. When I got quiet and brought this struggle with my body to God, what he showed me was my identity had been left vulnerable to attack. The enemy had gotten in my head and whispered, “Pamela, no one wants chunky you. You’re not fit to be used as a vessel for God.”

Anyone else hear a similar voice? A voice that takes something so personal and uses it against you? A voice that disses you – dismisses you, discounts you, disables you, disappoints you, and disgusts you. Oh honey, you’ve been dissed, haven’t you?

I think Paul must have heard very similar voices. Paul had a history, and it was a history of being courageously and adamantly WRONG. Using his other name, Saul, he was a crusader AGAINST Christ.