Digest

This episode of the I Have ADHD podcast delves into the topic of masking, a common experience for individuals with ADHD. Host Kristen Carter defines masking as acting in a socially acceptable way to fit in and avoid judgment. She emphasizes that while masking can be helpful in certain situations, it can also be harmful, leading to exhaustion and a disconnect from one's true self. Carter highlights the importance of creating safe spaces, particularly at home, where individuals can unmask and be accepted for who they are. She encourages listeners to identify environments where they feel comfortable masking and those where they feel the need to hide their true selves. Carter also distinguishes between symptom management and masking, emphasizing that managing ADHD symptoms is essential for functioning in society and not necessarily a form of masking. She provides examples of symptom management strategies, such as showing up early to avoid being late, and encourages listeners to differentiate between these strategies and masking. The episode concludes with a discussion of the Adult ADHD Masking Measure (AAMM), a tool designed to help individuals identify and understand their masking behaviors. Carter encourages listeners to use the AAMM as a self-reflection exercise and to prioritize creating safe spaces where they can unmask and be their authentic selves.

Outlines

00:00:00

Introduction

This Chapter introduces the I Have ADHD podcast, hosted by Kristen Carter, who has ADHD. The podcast aims to provide education, encouragement, and coaching for adults with ADHD, focusing on the challenges and humor of adulting, relationships, work, and achieving with this neurodevelopmental disorder. Carter emphasizes her commitment to helping listeners understand their unique brains, unlock their potential, and navigate life's challenges.

00:01:45

Masking: What It Is and Why We Do It

This Chapter dives into the concept of masking, explaining that it involves acting in a socially acceptable way to fit in and avoid judgment. Carter provides definitions of masking from ADD.org and Medical News Today, highlighting the common practice of camflashing or impression management. She acknowledges that masking is prevalent among neurodivergent individuals, including those with ADHD and autism. Carter emphasizes that masking is often learned behavior, stemming from societal expectations and the desire to avoid rejection. She discusses the potential benefits of masking, such as survival in certain environments, but also highlights its detrimental effects, including exhaustion, a disconnect from one's true self, and the pressure to constantly perform.

00:25:39

The Impact of Masking

This Chapter explores the impact of masking on individuals with ADHD. Carter shares personal stories and insights from members of her Focus ADHD coaching membership, illustrating the toll that masking can take on mental and emotional well-being. She emphasizes the importance of creating safe spaces where individuals can unmask and be accepted for who they are, starting with their own homes and close relationships. Carter encourages listeners to reflect on their own masking behaviors and to identify environments where they feel comfortable masking and those where they feel the need to hide their true selves. She emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance and creating a safe space for oneself before seeking acceptance from others.

00:39:12

Stopping Masking: The Importance of Safety

This Chapter focuses on the steps involved in stopping masking. Carter emphasizes the importance of safety and creating environments where individuals feel comfortable being their authentic selves. She highlights the need for acceptance and understanding from close relationships, particularly at home. Carter introduces the Adult ADHD Masking Measure (AAMM), a tool designed to help individuals identify and understand their masking behaviors. She encourages listeners to use the AAMM as a self-reflection exercise and to prioritize creating safe spaces where they can unmask and be their authentic selves.

Keywords

Q&A

• What is masking and why do people with ADHD mask?

  Masking is acting in a socially acceptable way to fit in and avoid judgment. People with ADHD often mask to avoid rejection, fit in with neurotypical expectations, and because they were taught to mask by caregivers. It can be helpful in certain situations, but it can also be harmful, leading to exhaustion and a disconnect from one's true self.

• What are some examples of masking behaviors?

  Examples include controlling impulses, rehearsing responses, copying the behavior of neurotypical individuals, pretending to understand something you don't, and hiding your struggles.

• How can I tell the difference between symptom management and masking?

  Symptom management is about using strategies to help you function in society, like showing up early to avoid being late. Masking is about hiding your true self to fit in. Ask yourself if you're managing your symptoms or hiding who you are.

• How can I create a safe space to unmask?

  Start at home. Make sure you're not judging yourself for your ADHD symptoms. Then, find a few people you trust and slowly test unmasking with them. It takes time and effort, but it's worth it.

• What are some of the benefits and drawbacks of masking?

  Masking can help you avoid rejection, get a job, and be included. However, it can also lead to exhaustion, a sense of inauthenticity, and a fear of being rejected if people knew your true self.

• What is the Adult ADHD Masking Measure (AAMM) and how can it help me?

  The AAMM is a self-assessment tool that can help you identify and understand your masking behaviors. It's a list of questions that you answer about how often you engage in certain behaviors. It can be a helpful tool for self-reflection and understanding your own masking patterns.

• What is the Focus ADHD Coaching Membership and how can it help me?

  Focus is a monthly coaching program that provides support and guidance for adults with ADHD. It includes group coaching calls, workbooks, and a supportive online community. It can help you understand yourself better, feel better, and create the life you want.

Show Notes