#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rudeUpdate: 2025-03-15
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We’re live from Cinci to recap Summer House this week! Carl tries to get over Lindsay, Imrul bangs another ghost, and Jesse tries to figure out how to get himself out of the Lexi sitch. To watch this recap on video, listen to our Traitors bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens.
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00:00:00
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00:00:12
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00:02:56
It's been a few years.
00:03:22
We've only been doing this 13 motherfucking years.
00:03:28
It's so exciting to be back in Cincinnati.
00:03:31
We haven't been here.
00:03:32
Yes.
00:03:33
You guys, this is a wild crowd.
00:03:36
Yes.
00:03:36
Thank you for coming out.
00:03:38
Of course.
00:03:39
They told us the countess had just been here.
00:03:41
Did you guys come see the countess here?
00:03:43
Yes.
00:03:45
You know, you guys are a wild crowd.
00:03:47
This side is like, "No."
00:03:52
It's not aware.
00:03:53
I forgot about this.
00:03:54
It's a V-shape.
00:03:56
One side feels one thing and you all feel another totally different thing.
00:03:59
We could pitch you guys against each other.
00:04:02
I knew you guys would be a crazy crowd because to this day, there's only been one show in all of the history of water crappins where someone got arrested.
00:04:14
And it happened here.
00:04:18
It happened here.
00:04:19
We're so proud of you guys.
00:04:21
Yeah.
00:04:21
You guys have done great work.
00:04:23
We got here and there was a box of Narcan from a local company to give that really.
00:04:29
They're like, "Well, you take a picture with some Narcan?"
00:04:32
I'm like, "Fuck yeah."
00:04:33
I was telling him if anybody has a peanut allergy, they're like, "Rony, this is not an epic head."
00:04:40
Good try.
00:04:41
It is awesome to be back.
00:04:44
I actually came in last night since I had to come in from LA.
00:04:46
It takes like, you know, you have to go like all these different routes to get here.
00:04:49
So I came in early so I would be here on time.
00:04:52
And I've had such a fun 24 hours here in Cincinnati.
00:04:57
I went to a yoga class and I was like, "Yeah!
00:05:02
I have to tell you something."
00:05:03
It got quieter for yoga than they were like.
00:05:06
It was so hard.
00:05:07
It was like hot since Cincinnati yoga.
00:05:10
I was not expecting that.
00:05:11
I've never done hot yoga before.
00:05:13
And I was like, once again, I was the only one in the class falling over.
00:05:16
And I felt like this weird obligation as someone from LA to be like, "Really good at yoga?"
00:05:20
I was like, "Guys, I'm from LA.
00:05:22
I know yoga."
00:05:23
And I was like falling over, sweating.
00:05:26
I had like a puddle around me.
00:05:27
But it was really fun.
00:05:29
There was a super hot guy there.
00:05:31
I was like, "Good for you, Cincinnati."
00:05:32
Hot guys at yoga.
00:05:35
I don't believe in yoga because if that shit worked, Bruto wouldn't be so fat.
00:05:39
That's it.
00:05:40
You think his ass was doing the down dog?
00:05:42
No.
00:05:44
I came today.
00:05:44
I was sitting next to me while on the plane.
00:05:47
She was really cute.
00:05:48
And she's like, "I need to fit this under my seat."
00:05:50
I said, "Just put it."
00:05:51
Do you want me to put it in the overhead thing?
00:05:53
And she's like, "No, they're cookies."
00:05:54
And I was like, "Well, obviously we're on it."
00:05:58
No, first real cookies.
00:06:01
I was like, "I'm going to eat them in the overhead."
00:06:02
And she said, "No, they're important cookies."
00:06:04
And I said, "How come?"
00:06:05
And she said, "Because my brother -- I'm going to visit my brother who has dementia."
00:06:09
And I was like, "Oh."
00:06:10
And she said, "And I'm hoping that the cookies will make him remember things."
00:06:15
Isn't that sweet?
00:06:16
I was like, "Yeah.
00:06:17
Every time I take a peanut, I'm out of my belly, but."
00:06:19
And I'm like, "I remember that Amy Grant concert."
00:06:22
I totally remember.
00:06:23
So I was like, "That's so sweet.
00:06:25
I hope he remembers them."
00:06:25
And she's like, "Yeah."
00:06:25
And I was like, "They must be really good cookies."
00:06:28
And she's like, "They sure are."
00:06:30
And then I just stared at her like, "You're not going to give me a fucking cookie, what do I --?"
00:06:37
So I was like, "What were we talking about?"
00:06:40
Oh.
00:06:42
[ Laughter ] Side-out was for a cookie!
00:06:47
For a cookie!
00:06:48
What we will do.
00:06:49
I -- I got a fucking biscoff cookie after that.
00:06:52
And I just crunched it very slowly looking at her.
00:06:56
I did that thing on the airplane.
00:06:58
I love when this works.
00:06:59
You know, when you -- they come around with like a little basket of snacks.
00:07:02
You know, like, you pay hundreds of dollars for playing together.
00:07:05
They're like, "Here's a bag with one cookie in it."
00:07:07
Here's an old-ass Dorito.
00:07:09
Yeah.
00:07:09
So I got -- I got like a bag.
00:07:11
And then when she came by, I was like, "Excuse me, do you have like --?"
00:07:13
And another -- Can I get like another bag of cookies?
00:07:15
And she's like, "Sure."
00:07:16
And then they give you like five.
00:07:17
I was like, "Yes.
00:07:17
That's like the best feeling of all time."
00:07:20
Also, today, I went to Grader's ice cream.
00:07:23
[ Cheers and applause ] It's like an Ohio ice cream, right?
00:07:28
Right?
00:07:29
Not to be confused with Jennies, also Ohio.
00:07:32
Okay.
00:07:32
This is clearly Jennie's side.
00:07:35
This is the Grader's side.
00:07:37
[ Cheers and applause ] Ice cream fight!
00:07:40
I thought I was being so clever.
00:07:42
I walked in and I was like, "It's my first time in Grader's."
00:07:45
'Cause it was.
00:07:46
And I like -- I went with the lady.
00:07:47
I was like, "It's my first time here."
00:07:48
And I thought she's like, "I thought she'd be like, "Oh, honey, come on over here.
00:07:52
Let me give you a big thing."
00:07:54
And I was like, "What's your -- What are you guys known for?"
00:07:56
She goes, "Chocolate chip."
00:07:57
And I was like -- [ Laughter ] Okay.
00:08:01
[ Laughter ] I'm so glad when people who have ice cream don't pretend to be happy.
00:08:05
I'm so sick of fucking happy ice cream people.
00:08:07
We're not eating this 'cause we're happy.
00:08:09
We're eating it 'cause we're fucking depressed.
00:08:11
I know.
00:08:12
I was like, "I was trying to get -- You were trying to get a free cookie.
00:08:15
I was trying to get some free ice cream from this lady."
00:08:17
That was a free -- That was homemade.
00:08:19
She should have given me that shit.
00:08:20
I have to put that in the bag of a -- Yeah.
00:08:23
Well.
00:08:24
Stick around.
00:08:25
Lesson's earned.
00:08:27
[ Laughter ] Well, welcome to Watch Your Crappens.
00:08:30
A podcast about all that crap on Bravo.
00:08:32
[ Cheers and applause ] You know, the first time we were here at Ludlow Garage, we did summer house.
00:08:37
Yes.
00:08:38
Years and years ago.
00:08:39
It was our first summer house live recapping fence.
00:08:41
Yes.
00:08:42
We were like, "People are gonna hate this.
00:08:43
They're gonna bitch."
00:08:44
They didn't hate it.
00:08:45
They did bitch.
00:08:46
[ Laughter ] Yeah.
00:08:48
Y'all still bitching.
00:08:49
But you know how many housewives can there be?
00:08:51
And right when we went on tour, they were like, "We're not gonna show housewives anymore."
00:08:55
I know.
00:08:56
It's all over.
00:08:57
I know.
00:08:58
But we love summer house.
00:08:59
And I love that since then, summer houses become such a big popular show because it is a hilarious show.
00:09:04
And this season -- Have you guys been enjoying this season so far?
00:09:07
[ Cheers and applause ] Yeah.
00:09:09
Yeah, that was pretty good so far.
00:09:11
[ Laughter ] Why lie?
00:09:15
I mean, this is a pretty good one.
00:09:16
You know, as far as, you know, like horse people going around this day.
00:09:19
Yeah.
00:09:20
But I do appreciate what they're bringing to the art world.
00:09:22
Kyle is now a musician, so that's something.
00:09:25
He's going on tour.
00:09:26
Did you know that?
00:09:27
Yeah, he's got Cindy Sundays.
00:09:30
And also, like, honestly -- They're disgusted over there.
00:09:33
Yeah.
00:09:34
Because I see that.
00:09:36
They're like, "Fuck that."
00:09:37
Can I tell you something?
00:09:39
The world is such a shit show right now that it's literally refreshing to me that, like, one thing I can, like, hide away in is a stupid feud about a spritzer.
00:09:48
Like, that's -- A spritzer feud is really -- [ Cheers and applause ] So I need that right now.
00:09:53
I need it.
00:09:54
Well, the other art coming up is Carl.
00:09:56
Is releasing a book.
00:09:58
Oh, yeah.
00:09:59
Have you heard about this?
00:10:00
Did you know about this?
00:10:01
Ronnie just told me about this right backstage.
00:10:04
Okay, wow.
00:10:05
Wow, hate literature all you want.
00:10:07
[ Laughter ] Uh, Carl Radke.
00:10:12
The book is called Cake Eater.
00:10:15
Yes.
00:10:17
Yes.
00:10:18
Someone -- Eat it.
00:10:20
First of all, no, you're not.
00:10:22
Yes.
00:10:23
Last time we checked, you were not eating any cakes.
00:10:25
Um, so he -- Ronnie just sent this to me, like, literally 10 minutes ago.
00:10:29
The cover says, "Getting high, hitting low."
00:10:32
[ Laughter ] And trying to stay in the middle.
00:10:36
A journey to self-discovery.
00:10:38
And then it's a picture of him holding a cake sadly.
00:10:41
He's like, "Haw."
00:10:43
And then half his face is covered in the cake.
00:10:47
White jeans.
00:10:49
White jeans.
00:10:50
I'm sure.
00:10:51
[ Laughter ] All these years, his jeans have been made out of cake.
00:10:56
We just never realized.
00:10:58
He'd actually get laid if his jeans were made out of fucking cake.
00:11:01
We're like, "Why are his skinny jeans so skinny?"
00:11:04
It's like they're made of frosting.
00:11:05
Yeah, I'd blow Carl if it was cake.
00:11:07
So anyway, Ronnie just sent this.
00:11:09
I got so excited because I had no idea that this was happening.
00:11:11
So smart to put it on your computer.
00:11:12
Because I just look like I'm texting.
00:11:14
I'm like, "Thanks for coming."
00:11:17
So, uh, so I guess he announced it on social media or something.
00:11:22
But he has actually -- he's written some paragraphs to explain this book.
00:11:26
And this is real.
00:11:27
This -- we're reading this verbatim.
00:11:28
Carl is like that Bronwyn from Salt Lake City.
00:11:32
She can't just make a post.
00:11:34
Like, look, I'm at the Golden Globes.
00:11:36
It has to be 10 pages of like, "Well, like the font on her picture is this small."
00:11:40
You're like, "Bitch, I'm trying to read this."
00:11:42
When you said Bronwyn, I was thinking Bronwyn from Orange County.
00:11:45
And I was like, "Do you know?"
00:11:48
Okay, so we're never going to start this recap.
00:11:50
[ Laughter ] Did you guys see that she posted a thing being like -- It was like a few months ago or two months ago.
00:11:56
She was like five years ago.
00:11:58
I began my journey of sobriety.
00:12:00
It began when I went to the Watcher Crap and Sculdin Crapies.
00:12:04
[ Laughter ] And the audience booed me.
00:12:08
But the audience only booed her because she was standing up for Tamara.
00:12:12
And so the audience was like, "Boo!
00:12:13
I have to do it!
00:12:15
I have to do it!" Like, stood up and started yelling at everybody.
00:12:18
And she's like, "I'd like to publicly apologize to Watcher Crap."
00:12:22
That's like, "Are you kidding?
00:12:23
That's our dream."
00:12:24
She apologized to everyone except for Tom Sandivall.
00:12:27
That was there that night.
00:12:29
Okay, so Carl -- so he released his book.
00:12:33
And this is what he has to say about it.
00:12:35
He says, "Ha."
00:12:37
[ Laughter ] To everyone who has followed me.
00:12:42
Reach out to me.
00:12:44
Share their own stories on recovery.
00:12:47
Or just give my mom a really cool hat.
00:12:50
This book is for you.
00:12:53
Uh, thanks for announcing Cake Eater.
00:12:57
I'm proud to announce that my book Cake Eater will be out soon.
00:13:01
You may be asking, "Why Cake Eater?"
00:13:05
Or, "Why a book?"
00:13:07
[ Laughter ] "Why Cake Eater?"
00:13:12
I want to call the -- I want to call the editor.
00:13:14
Just be like, "Why Cake Eater?"
00:13:16
[ Laughter ] 'Cause you know she eats cake.
00:13:19
She's like, "You know who needs a book, Carl?"
00:13:22
So she's like -- He says, "Cake Eater."
00:13:25
You may be asking, "Why Cake Eater?"
00:13:27
Oh, being from the South Hills of Pittsburgh and Upper St.
00:13:30
Clair?
00:13:31
[ Laughter ] Oh.
00:13:34
I'm already so excited to find out the rest of the sentence.
00:13:37
[ Laughter ] Got a happy, let's see where this goes.
00:13:41
[ Laughter ] Other locals will know that Cake Eater is a privileged upper-middle-class person who has handed everything.
00:13:50
Well, I was called this many times.
00:13:52
That wasn't my reality.
00:13:54
Yeah, you guys, no.
00:13:56
Just 'cause he appears at the Hamptons every single summer on a TV show and has not had to have a job in seven years, does not mean he is an upper-middle-class privileged man.
00:14:10
[ Cheers and applause ] Finally a book that teaches us.
00:14:15
You can be bullied when you're privileged, too.
00:14:18
So for anyone who's been looking for a book with a title that has a hyper-local reference.
00:14:25
[ Laughter ] Specifically of the Upper St.
00:14:28
Clair region of South Hills of Pittsburgh, look no further than Cake Eater.
00:14:34
We're coming at you.
00:14:36
All right, shall we?
00:14:38
Yeah.
00:14:39
All right.
00:14:40
Previously on "Summer House."
00:14:43
[ Cheers and applause ] Ooh, another summer!
00:14:48
[ Cheers and applause ] Ding-ding-ding, everyone!
00:14:53
I haven't announced my name.
00:14:56
Um, guys, my journey started years ago.
00:15:02
First, there was ever.
00:15:04
And then, I got a taco contract.
00:15:07
And then, I demanded a man make me a sandwich, too.
00:15:11
15 minutes later.
00:15:12
And then, there was July.
00:15:14
15 minutes later.
00:15:15
A bunch of other random guys that didn't deserve me.
00:15:17
15 minutes later.
00:15:19
And then, there was Carl's finger.
00:15:21
15 minutes later.
00:15:23
And then, there was pizza beads.
00:15:25
15 minutes later.
00:15:26
And then, there was the rest of Carl.
00:15:28
[ Laughter ] And now, in the summer of Lindsay, I...
00:15:33
You look parking, by the way.
00:15:35
[ Laughter ] Carl!
00:15:37
Carl!
00:15:38
I'm having a baby.
00:15:40
[ Cheers and applause ] Whoa.
00:15:44
Whoa.
00:15:46
This is, like, really hard on me.
00:15:48
[ Laughter ] Yeah, I just...
00:15:50
I want you to be softer, not pregnant or...
00:15:52
[ Laughter ] And I just...
00:15:54
I don't like...
00:15:54
I don't even know how to say hi to you.
00:15:56
[ Laughter ] And you just say hi, Carl.
00:15:58
Don't know!
00:15:59
No.
00:16:00
Huh.
00:16:01
Hi.
00:16:02
Fish tank!
00:16:03
No, that's not it.
00:16:04
Skinny jeans.
00:16:05
Huh.
00:16:06
I can't do this.
00:16:07
It's too hard.
00:16:08
Stress wall.
00:16:09
So, West, you had sex with me even though I wanted a boyfriend.
00:16:13
And then you talked shit to me in the New York Times.
00:16:17
Yeah, well, about...
00:16:19
You suck.
00:16:20
You suck, West.
00:16:21
Well...
00:16:22
Your hair is fucking stupid.
00:16:23
Yeah.
00:16:24
I'm just like a boy with a girl.
00:16:26
I don't know.
00:16:28
You don't even have Rizz.
00:16:29
You're Rizzless.
00:16:31
Oh, wow.
00:16:32
Rizzless mother fucker with stupid fucking hair.
00:16:34
Fuck you.
00:16:35
What a heart.
00:16:36
That like really hurt.
00:16:37
I don't know what to say.
00:16:38
And then we have Imroll.
00:16:39
Who says, "Hey, I'm Imroll.
00:16:41
I'm the new guy Imroll."
00:16:42
I ride a motorcycle.
00:16:43
And I fuck.
00:16:44
I fuck a lot.
00:16:45
I'm getting a blowjob right now.
00:16:49
Five people, sex swings, Lou Bra, Unra, all the things.
00:16:56
Upside down, inside out.
00:16:57
In a circle.
00:16:58
Circle jerk, square jerk, triangle jerk, all the shapes.
00:17:04
I fuck.
00:17:05
Do you want some hand sanitizer?
00:17:09
Hey, everyone.
00:17:12
I want to welcome everyone, the new person house.
00:17:18
Everyone, please welcome Bailey.
00:17:21
Bailey?
00:17:22
Bailey, where are you at?
00:17:23
Bailey, where are you at?
00:17:24
Where are you at?
00:17:25
Where are you at?
00:17:26
Where are you at?
00:17:27
Where are you at?
00:17:28
Where are you at?
00:17:29
Hi, I'm Maxi.
00:17:32
Hey, I'm Justin.
00:17:35
Oh, you mean because I'm a model.
00:17:39
What's going on?
00:17:40
I'm Jesse Solomon.
00:17:43
You've got a juicy booty.
00:17:45
You like it?
00:17:46
Yeah, Papa like it.
00:17:49
Wanna touch it?
00:17:51
Yeah.
00:17:53
Yeah, I do.
00:17:57
Yeah.
00:18:00
You can touch it when you're my husband.
00:18:04
And scene.
00:18:07
So that was a little bit along for those husbands along for the ride.
00:18:15
All right, well, where we left off, Kyle has just done his annual Rage Texting of someone.
00:18:25
This time it was Paige.
00:18:27
He raged texted her about both Hannah and Craig, and she was not having none of it.
00:18:33
And now they're going to talk it out on a beach.
00:18:36
Let's go over and talk about it on the beach.
00:18:39
Or look, I mean, sorry we're even having to have this conversation.
00:18:42
Like, I know you're your own person and stuff, but like, I'm in my feelings, all right?
00:18:47
Like a lot of things are brought up last night, all right?
00:18:49
It's like personal, you know, like my business, my business was under attack.
00:18:54
Like, I'm going to crumble.
00:18:56
I'm crumbling.
00:18:58
Um, first of all, I'm not Hannah, and I'm definitely not Craig.
00:19:02
Thank God.
00:19:03
I just want to let you just remind you of that.
00:19:07
And like, I told Craig to like not do this.
00:19:09
And if you're going to like do this, then like can't have a conversation with Kyle.
00:19:12
And like, like, I don't understand why you've been talking to me.
00:19:13
Like, I don't even like talking to you when you're not raged texting me.
00:19:16
So this is even worse.
00:19:17
I mean, Kyle, I'm so supportive of you.
00:19:20
I pretended to like month fruit sweetener in my alcohol for six years.
00:19:27
So Danielle is watching from afar.
00:19:29
She's like, oh my God, the body language does not look great.
00:19:32
I'm wacky, Danielle.
00:19:34
Danielle, your body language isn't great.
00:19:38
Danielle, what are you doing?
00:19:42
Looking good.
00:19:43
This beach looks so different since I was last here.
00:19:46
How time passes when you're gone for a week?
00:19:52
All right.
00:19:52
Well, you know what?
00:19:53
I'm like competing with me.
00:19:55
All right.
00:19:56
It's just that like, it's a competitor.
00:19:58
It's just hurt.
00:19:59
You know, it hurts that he's competing with me.
00:20:01
Does that make any sense?
00:20:03
No.
00:20:03
I broke down crying.
00:20:06
I cried after we had a text exchange.
00:20:09
I sobbed.
00:20:10
Wait, you cried?
00:20:12
No.
00:20:13
Hold on.
00:20:13
When we just privately laughed to myself.
00:20:16
I was saying it felt like it's sad me.
00:20:21
It felt like it's sad me.
00:20:22
I wish.
00:20:22
Have you ever been stabbed before?
00:20:26
Do you want to be?
00:20:28
I know you're own person.
00:20:31
I know you have no good at all.
00:20:32
I know those people in your life are going to say whatever.
00:20:35
It was just like not wrong.
00:20:36
I mean, been smacked.
00:20:38
I don't know.
00:20:39
I just don't want to be in the middle.
00:20:42
It's like being fashioned between two poorly dressed buns.
00:20:48
I want to be your friend.
00:20:48
You're a whiny, entitled alcoholic that refuses to grow up.
00:20:53
In another timeline, I'd probably be dating you right now.
00:20:58
Listen, if you came to me and said, would you be willing to be in the middle of a Coca-Cola feud?
00:21:02
I would say yes.
00:21:03
But a spritzer feud?
00:21:05
No.
00:21:05
I will not do this.
00:21:06
I'm going to talk to him.
00:21:07
If he genuinely doesn't understand, I've got a detailed buy chart to go over with him.
00:21:14
I'll cry in a way that he understands.
00:21:17
I knew that Kyle and I were going to be fine because he's probably too drunk to remember we were in a fight in the first place.
00:21:23
So whatever.
00:21:23
I just told him to talk to Craig and Hannah.
00:21:26
Whatever.
00:21:27
I'm more...
00:21:30
The rest of my thought doesn't even matter because Kyle doesn't even deserve it.
00:21:37
Oh wow, you stop sobbing.
00:21:38
Do you need to make a wee wee before we go?
00:21:40
We're in your bathroom, the earth.
00:21:42
I do.
00:21:44
It's time for commercial.
00:21:46
It's time for a crap and it's commercial.
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00:24:02
So they they're fine obviously as they go back to the group and now that that's all settled now Lindsey can do the guys can we talk about my pregnancy.
00:24:16
Oh my god look at that seashell who has bigger boobs me or the seashell I'm like so pregnant.
00:24:22
You guys I have a question and since I'm pregnant do you think my belly buddy my belly button is going to like pop out and be an outie?
00:24:30
Yes I have a question who who looks more pregnant me or the horse who crap that's dying over there just wondering.
00:24:36
I hope you have an outie outies are fucking hot.
00:24:40
Yeah it's Jazzy.
00:24:42
Yeah well yeah it's cool that you're pregnant you're so cool that you're pregnant Lindsey and then it got the Lexie she's like Yeah Lexie's like um dealing my belly would pop my belly button whatever pop out I've been so insecure about my belly button.
00:24:58
I mean I'm only talking about belly buttons this is bullying.
00:25:02
Because they're all like wow Lindsey your boobs.
00:25:06
Lindsey your boobs big on her.
00:25:08
I was eating them before.
00:25:10
I was so big.
00:25:12
And Lexie's like Lexie's like.
00:25:14
Yeah but I can kind of see where Lexie's coming from because Jesse's like wow nice cans.
00:25:20
You guys should touch your cans do each other.
00:25:22
You guys should touch and raw dog it.
00:25:24
Yeah pull your tits out just raw dog them right now.
00:25:26
It's because I'm pregnant.
00:25:30
I know I tried to weigh my boobs in Italy because I was on a pregnancy vacation there and like it was in kilometers instead of bounds.
00:25:38
So I still this day don't know how much my pregnant boobs weigh.
00:25:42
Because I'm pregnant.
00:25:44
You measured in the kilometers those tits run fast.
00:25:48
Fast tits.
00:25:50
Lexie's like I'm Canadian I know what those measurements mean.
00:25:54
I'm going to cut to Jesse or Lexie just looking down at herself when she's like.
00:26:00
I mean like I'm like talking about my biggest insecurity right now.
00:26:06
Like I've had agents in the past be like you know you can never get a certain job because of your body type.
00:26:12
And I'm like just because I don't have double t is like I mean that's not fair.
00:26:18
Like I said the girls the good.
00:26:20
I'm a model.
00:26:22
Guys I just found out I can't do gay porn.
00:26:28
It's not fair.
00:26:30
I've always been shamed for not having no penis.
00:26:34
They're all talking about that.
00:26:36
I can not get behind a bullying project of this girl.
00:26:40
This is not the Trevor project man okay.
00:26:46
So then Lindsay is still talking about all this stuff and Wes is like okay I have a serious question for you.
00:26:52
Like what sport do you think you want your daughter to get into?
00:26:58
Or like do you want her to go into patch?
00:27:02
Oh my god are you about to see patches?
00:27:06
Like I didn't know.
00:27:08
I'm like she's just like now patching girls are getting bullied.
00:27:22
So Lindsay's like well I grew up in the suburbs so like raising a child in the city is going to be like really different.
00:27:28
And Wes is like yeah like a lot less like yard activity.
00:27:34
I suppose the body training kid without an outside.
00:27:40
I mean you know yeah I'm like we don't even like live together yet.
00:27:46
You don't live together Lindsay.
00:27:50
Yeah.
00:27:52
But like wait fucking damn y'all okay.
00:27:56
But I mean like if I weren't pregnant we wouldn't be living together anyway.
00:28:00
So like we've only been eating like six months.
00:28:02
You don't live with this man and you let him put a baby inside of you.
00:28:06
She's like well you didn't live with the balloon guy and you walked around with like a poodle twisted in your badge for like mine.
00:28:14
Excuse me she is a CEO and founder please show some respect.
00:28:20
Did you guys see Megan Markle has a new podcast out for founders?
00:28:24
Who else was like Danielle you better get booked.
00:28:28
Oh my god the Megan Markle can we cover the Megan Markle cooking so.
00:28:32
You guys see it?
00:28:34
I love jam.
00:28:36
It just makes me feel so one of the people.
00:28:40
I taste this jam and I feel like maybe I could be walking on a sidewalk.
00:28:46
The first 20 minutes was her putting things into successfully smaller plastic bags.
00:28:52
My favorite thing to do is take epsin salts and just put them in a bag.
00:28:56
In a smaller bag and then I cut it in half cook it with some pasta and put it in an even smaller bag.
00:29:02
I just want my guests to feel at home.
00:29:04
People hate that girl.
00:29:06
I was watching her make toast and there were eggs being splattered on the window.
00:29:10
I was like man they even founder said they hate her.
00:29:14
So Lindsey's like oh yeah we don't have to live together and have a baby.
00:29:18
Because like you know like having a baby puts enough pressure on a relationship without having to live together too.
00:29:24
But what is he going to move in Lindsey?
00:29:26
I can't deal with this.
00:29:28
Is he ever going to move in?
00:29:30
Like how do you know that he's even suitable for you if you don't even live with him?
00:29:34
I was like yeah well like to move in together.
00:29:38
We need to have like a normal pace to this relationship.
00:29:40
You're pregnant.
00:29:42
You're sick from pregnant.
00:29:44
I like Lindsey's like we need to take it slow.
00:29:48
First we have a baby.
00:29:50
Yeah.
00:29:52
But Danielle still such a judgmental asshole.
00:29:56
I'm allowed to be because I'm not her friend.
00:29:58
If that was my friend I'd be like you go girl don't you ever marry that man.
00:30:02
Let's eat fucking deserve that.
00:30:04
Why should you move in with him?
00:30:06
But I'm mean so I get to say.
00:30:08
Yeah.
00:30:10
But Danielle sucks.
00:30:12
Danielle I can imagine being concerned with my friend who just got whatever term relationship it was with Carl.
00:30:20
And then being like and suddenly I'm pregnant with like a new person.
00:30:24
I can imagine me like whoa what's going on.
00:30:26
And I do love that Lindsey's response to make sure Danielle feels like it's everything's okay.
00:30:30
She's like well he found her baby nurse.
00:30:34
He looked at the restaurant on Yelp once so like it seems pretty much pretty active in this.
00:30:40
Yeah.
00:30:42
And Danielle's like I mean normal couple of days.
00:30:44
I think like the ship sells on that one.
00:30:46
I mean like if it's going well like why wouldn't you want them there physically all the time.
00:30:52
Like why given the opportunity to not be there like does that sound like kidnapping.
00:30:56
It's not kidnapping if you're in love right hold my ring hold on my ring counts.
00:31:00
My ring counts.
00:31:02
Oh shit.
00:31:04
The UPS guy is trying to untie himself.
00:31:06
Hold on.
00:31:08
It's really cute we might have something going.
00:31:10
I think the reason why Lindsey doesn't want him there is because she wants the relationship to last.
00:31:14
Well at this point look you're saying like you're saying if it was your friend you'd be like worried.
00:31:20
But if it was me and I was like I'm going to have a baby you wouldn't be like moving with the guy.
00:31:26
I mean for the baby sick nobody needs to see me with somebody else.
00:31:30
I would be like baby just say do you have a maid that's all you need to ask.
00:31:34
I'd just be like it was great being friends with you.
00:31:38
That would be a great time.
00:31:40
Every time you let me like guys bends out of town today thankfully little Rondle is here.
00:31:46
Rondle.
00:31:48
Little baby it's like muppet babies it's like Ronnie up here.
00:31:50
Who's the best house like.
00:31:52
He's a van der Pum.
00:31:54
Good job here's men and in.
00:31:56
Go to your room.
00:31:58
Hey what's place on the canjo.
00:32:02
So now it's time for the everyone shot the Turner and I don't live together.
00:32:08
I'm not moving too fast I'm pregnant.
00:32:12
I mean I'm doing all the right steps.
00:32:14
Thanks to Carl I had a bachelor at party.
00:32:18
And then I got to plan my wedding and now I have a baby.
00:32:22
She's actually kind of done everything right.
00:32:24
It's just been with different people.
00:32:26
Yeah I at this point like Lindsey's want look.
00:32:30
She's put a lot of time to those power points.
00:32:32
Just let her have the baby.
00:32:34
There was a list.
00:32:38
I want to have a bachelor at party.
00:32:40
I want to have a man.
00:32:42
I want to have a baby.
00:32:44
I want to have a apartment.
00:32:46
I want to be an influencer.
00:32:48
Whatever the fuck she's done it all.
00:32:50
Yeah and in every step of the way that she's like I want to have this.
00:32:52
I want to have this.
00:32:54
She's really only had been stuck with like Danielle.
00:32:56
So I'm just like let her have her baby.
00:32:58
Let her let this step of it come true and it'll all be good.
00:33:02
What does this game cam jam?
00:33:04
I don't throw you throw Fritz piece into a trash.
00:33:08
Throw your trash into a trash.
00:33:10
How about let's make a game out of that.
00:33:12
You fucking beach ruiners.
00:33:14
Why can't they just sit still.
00:33:16
Every time they go to the beach they always have to play like one of the stupid games.
00:33:19
Just sit still and tan.
00:33:20
Okay?
00:33:22
Any more cans talk.
00:33:24
Why are people always moving around to the beach?
00:33:28
So Jesse is checking in with West and everything or West checking with Jesse.
00:33:36
And he's like I haven't seen you talk about Lexi today.
00:33:40
He's like oh don't worry.
00:33:42
I actually talked about her quite a bit in the car.
00:33:46
It's like oh thank god.
00:33:48
He's like you know I mean that girl talking to me like she wants to be with me.
00:33:54
It's like really she's jealous like that kind of scares me.
00:33:56
That really does kind of scare me.
00:33:58
You know when she told me she really only wanted to be with me when I was in a relationship.
00:34:02
So I fucked her and now I'm refusing to be in a relationship with her chicks.
00:34:06
Am I right?
00:34:07
It's crazy.
00:34:08
It's crazy.
00:34:09
It's crazy how when you love bombs someone that they can start to get jealous.
00:34:12
Crazy.
00:34:14
So West is like well she does kind of owe you after like taking my guy.
00:34:20
You know if I had to go to club solos.
00:34:22
And then Jesse gets like all sad.
00:34:24
He's like yeah by the way last night I thought it was interesting that you left everyone behind.
00:34:30
It was just like weird like in summer.
00:34:32
You shouldn't have to do that.
00:34:34
He spent the night on a sofa somewhere else.
00:34:38
He didn't cheat on you.
00:34:40
He's like I'm terrified of Sierra though.
00:34:42
My had to.
00:34:43
I had to sleep on the couch.
00:34:45
Why haven't we talked about what West is wearing by the way?
00:34:49
Listen, I saw this teenage boy today you know what I'm going to say with the hair.
00:34:55
He's got the perm and the hair come forward and I just walked past him and you know did like every older person does.
00:35:01
I just went fucking idiot.
00:35:03
And laughed you know.
00:35:06
But I can't imagine being like twice that age and being like I'm perming my hair and I'm coming it forward.
00:35:11
It's going to look right.
00:35:12
You know what I should do is get a grandma scarf and tie it around my head and then put a sun hat over it.
00:35:18
Yeah.
00:35:20
With a sleeveless tennis sweater from 1930.
00:35:23
Stop trying so hard.
00:35:25
You're already youngish.
00:35:26
You're already finished.
00:35:28
He's got the fame bug.
00:35:29
He's already you know we're losing him.
00:35:31
We've lost him.
00:35:32
He's gone.
00:35:33
He's just an empty husk now.
00:35:35
Just trying to make his way on to Trader some season.
00:35:39
Let's be honest.
00:35:40
You won't get there.
00:35:41
Traders has too much taste.
00:35:42
They're going to be like no.
00:35:43
Alan will take one good look at that fashion and be like.
00:35:54
Yeah.
00:35:55
Let's just say right now.
00:35:56
No west on traders.
00:35:58
Okay.
00:35:59
Anyone else.
00:36:00
No west.
00:36:01
Jesus.
00:36:02
Every round table would be like.
00:36:03
But I didn't do anything.
00:36:08
And also if you're standing in the next room and you can only hear the vibrations through a wall.
00:36:14
That's how west sounds.
00:36:15
So.
00:36:22
His lip biting.
00:36:26
It would take him so long to accuse someone at the round table too.
00:36:29
He'd be like.
00:36:30
I just.
00:36:31
I'm like.
00:36:32
Really.
00:36:33
I'm like scared to say this.
00:36:36
I'm like, okay, I'm done with the traders.
00:36:38
Well, you know, like I thought maybe we had something, but maybe we don't have anything.
00:36:43
We're not trying to date you by the fucker.
00:36:46
Just say who murder whoever else.
00:36:48
By the way, I'm just going to say.
00:36:50
Ronnie, you were so right the other day on the podcast.
00:36:52
That's all you needed to say.
00:36:53
Stop there.
00:36:54
That's it.
00:36:55
Well, it's not like I doubted you on this, but I finally got to see with my own eyes.
00:37:01
Gabby from the Traders, her social media has just been so wonderful.
00:37:05
She's so good.
00:37:08
I listened to her podcast.
00:37:09
Have you guys ever heard her podcast long?
00:37:13
Long-winded with Gabby.
00:37:16
She's like, I don't want to fucking do this podcast today.
00:37:22
But I fucking have to.
00:37:25
Because I have contracts and agents.
00:37:30
The hand-tacking to you long, labiant mother fucker.
00:37:38
Today, she was like, so I got a call from my psychiatrist because I'm crazy.
00:37:48
And the Traders psychiatrist called my psychiatrist.
00:37:52
She was like, just so you know, this show has themes of deception and lying and murder.
00:37:58
And I was like, stop.
00:38:01
It's a game.
00:38:06
Love her.
00:38:07
Check it out.
00:38:08
Long-winded with Gabby.
00:38:09
What's your face?
00:38:11
Okay.
00:38:12
My labia's so long.
00:38:14
I was like, for me, it's like a horror show and a podcast.
00:38:19
I love it.
00:38:20
I've learned so many things.
00:38:22
Okay.
00:38:23
So Jesse's still having his heart to heart with West.
00:38:25
And he's like, you know, it's just so weird, bro.
00:38:27
Like, you're just as secretive now.
00:38:30
And he's like, do you think I'm losing myself?
00:38:32
And he's like, no, you're still cheesy and badly dressed, you know?
00:38:36
It's just that gaslighting women is more fun when it's a team sport, bro.
00:38:40
It's only been here a long.
00:38:42
But it was like only the second weekend.
00:38:44
And now he's like, man, what's going on this summer?
00:38:47
You changed.
00:38:49
So now they come back from the beach and our old friend, the stubborn doors back.
00:38:53
Last weekend, it was like, they were all so happy.
00:38:56
They're like, oh, my God.
00:38:57
Like, the door's working.
00:38:58
And I think we've all been there with stubborn doors.
00:39:00
With the door, it gives you that moment of hope.
00:39:02
You're like, thank God, things are fixed.
00:39:04
We'll never go back to the dark days of you being a stubborn door.
00:39:07
It's like, sorry, I'm the lock.
00:39:09
I just didn't want any guys trying to get out.
00:39:12
I'm looking for some day.
00:39:17
Day, I'm home.
00:39:20
So they're all getting ready to do dinner things.
00:39:22
And West says that they're going to go to dinner with Carl Beasts.
00:39:26
Where did Carl Beasts come from?
00:39:28
Was that approved by the community?
00:39:31
But he doesn't even come up with original ones for everybody.
00:39:34
He goes, Carl Beasts, Jess Beasts, Page.
00:39:42
Ah, fun fact.
00:39:44
Growing up in Pittsburgh, specifically the South Hills near upper San Clair.
00:39:51
Carl Beasts actually means that you're a very, very poor person.
00:39:58
So Danielle and Lindsay are talking, oh, no, sorry.
00:40:01
Lindsay calls Turner, her guy, Turner.
00:40:03
And she's like, oh, my God.
00:40:05
She's a Turner.
00:40:06
And she's like, yeah.
00:40:07
And she's like, oh, Danielle said Thai babe.
00:40:09
And Danielle's like, hi, stop trying to run.
00:40:14
I can see you.
00:40:18
And everyone's still-- all this activity is happening in the house.
00:40:21
Imrul comes into the kitchen and Kyle's like, whoa.
00:40:24
Did you change since I last saw you?
00:40:27
It's like you are living in a house.
00:40:29
People change clothes.
00:40:31
You're at a beach.
00:40:32
He's not wearing a bathing suit anymore, yes.
00:40:34
So they're getting ready in poor Carl.
00:40:36
You know, and I get it.
00:40:37
Like when you're fucked up a lot of the times, you don't know how to do things not fucked up.
00:40:41
You know what I mean?
00:40:42
And he still knew it.
00:40:43
And he's still learning.
00:40:44
Thankfully, I've only ever shopped it old Navy.
00:40:46
So it's like the same for me wherever I go.
00:40:49
But Carl doesn't really get that.
00:40:51
And so he walks into the room.
00:40:52
And he's like, hey, everybody ready to go out?
00:40:54
And they're like, whoa.
00:40:57
And Lindsay's like, um, are those crocs?
00:41:00
[LAUGHTER]
00:41:03
And then he goes, you know, there's bright green crocs.
00:41:05
And he goes, aw, they're like little clog things.
00:41:10
Crocs, they're crocs.
00:41:11
Oh, I guess I'm just a cake eater then.
00:41:13
Oh, somebody wanted me.
00:41:16
And he goes, am I going to get made fun of again tonight?
00:41:19
Oh, Carl, you can't even wear crocs in a human.
00:41:22
Be soft with my crocs.
00:41:24
Aw.
00:41:25
Thanks to Crocs, they're an advertiser.
00:41:27
Love your stuff.
00:41:28
We love the crocs.
00:41:29
So Jesse is now saying vital Lexi.
00:41:31
He's like, uh, by a scene of it, you're not going to come out?
00:41:33
He's like, no.
00:41:34
Just have fun without me.
00:41:36
But they might either text me.
00:41:37
How much you love me non-stop.
00:41:39
But not about boobs.
00:41:40
[LAUGHTER]
00:41:43
So then, uh, one half of the house goes out to dinner.
00:41:50
The other half stays behind.
00:41:51
And they have fascinating conversations such as Kyle, saying to Sierra, were you napping?
00:41:57
Yeah, I was in my bed.
00:41:58
I was like setting the mood.
00:42:00
I let some candles.
00:42:01
I turned off the lights.
00:42:02
I scrolled.
00:42:03
I threw dirty clothes on my bed.
00:42:06
And I was like, fuck this fucking dirty clothes.
00:42:08
I threw on the fucking floor after that.
00:42:11
But then I picked him up.
00:42:13
And I put him on my bed again.
00:42:15
And then I, like, fucking rolled around on him.
00:42:18
What are you doing?
00:42:20
[LAUGHTER]
00:42:21
Kyle.
00:42:22
Kyle's like-- Yeah, they're like, Sierra, what's your storyline to season?
00:42:25
She's like, close on the bed.
00:42:27
[LAUGHTER]
00:42:28
The fuck do you think it is?
00:42:30
Kyle's like, I'm just trying to find a way to prolong this spritzer fight.
00:42:33
So can I talk about a little bit?
00:42:35
They're like, no.
00:42:36
[LAUGHTER]
00:42:38
So, Sierra was like, what's the vibe with y'all?
00:42:40
Because, you know, Craig's going to come.
00:42:41
And he's like, well, I have one idea of friendship.
00:42:43
And he had another idea of friendship.
00:42:45
So, you know, am I the first person to catch Craig plainly lying?
00:42:49
No.
00:42:50
[LAUGHTER]
00:42:51
And, by the way, he continues to lie about getting kicked out of my wedding.
00:42:55
No doubt it.
00:42:56
Ooh.
00:42:57
It's a fun though.
00:42:59
So we kicked out of that wedding after-- Ah.
00:43:03
And we kicked out of Kyle's wedding.
00:43:04
Kyle probably got kicked out of his own wedding.
00:43:05
Yeah, let's be honest.
00:43:06
Get him out.
00:43:07
That wedding's caused a lot of drama.
00:43:08
I love that.
00:43:09
I love that for the wedding.
00:43:10
So, why he got kicked out, right?
00:43:11
Do you remember?
00:43:12
Why Craig got kicked out?
00:43:13
Did he get drunk and start berating someone like everyone on Bravo seems to do?
00:43:17
Yeah, but it's really good.
00:43:18
Okay, so they were getting married to the parents.
00:43:20
A state or something, right?
00:43:21
Right, New Jersey.
00:43:22
And so, only the bridal party could pee inside.
00:43:24
And everybody else had to go in a porta potty.
00:43:27
And so, Craig tried to go inside.
00:43:30
I love this show.
00:43:31
I love Craig, too.
00:43:32
What an idiot.
00:43:35
So, he's like, "I'm always-- I'm going inside."
00:43:38
Because, like, why am I going to a porta potty?
00:43:41
I'm rich.
00:43:42
And the brother-in-law was like, "No, you have to go in the porta potty."
00:43:45
You're not in the bridal party.
00:43:46
And so, the sister-in-law was like, "Yeah."
00:43:48
And then Craig's like, "Yeah, fuck you."
00:43:50
And he started yelling at the sister-in-law until she just started crying.
00:43:54
And he got kicked out because he wouldn't piss in a porta potty.
00:43:58
That's like some Ramona singer-level shit.
00:44:03
So good.
00:44:04
So, Craig is coming next weekend.
00:44:06
And rule will be coming tonight.
00:44:07
And then-- I'm sorry, I have to interrupt you.
00:44:09
So sorry.
00:44:10
One more point.
00:44:11
Let's all remember that Paige, at all, totally blasted Lindsay for this shit all those years ago.
00:44:18
Never fucking forget, you know?
00:44:21
Paige may be like cuter and more thine and funny.
00:44:23
But Lindsay is usually right.
00:44:25
Listen to Lindsay.
00:44:26
I said it.
00:44:28
I don't fucking care.
00:44:29
In old lay-in yard, it kept me from cookies today.
00:44:32
Think you're gonna scare me?
00:44:34
I stole those cookies too.
00:44:36
What if I did?
00:44:37
What if I was like-- And then I pushed that old lady down, and I took a fucking cookie.
00:44:41
(laughter)
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00:45:51
So now we go out to the people going out to the restaurant.
00:45:57
And it's like Jesse, West, Carl, Amanda, and Paige.
00:46:02
So they're all sitting down.
00:46:04
They're all talking and Paige is like, oh, by the way, Lexi's not here.
00:46:07
How do you feel about that, Jesse?
00:46:09
He's like, it's great, Paige.
00:46:11
I love it so much.
00:46:12
You're looking wonderful tonight, Paige.
00:46:14
You're looking sexy with those earrings.
00:46:16
OK, so you're right back at it.
00:46:18
I'd love to hear that.
00:46:19
Yeah.
00:46:20
And Jesse's like, well, I mean, I need to hear Paige.
00:46:22
What if we get married, huh?
00:46:24
And Carl's like, oh, you and Jesse, whatever, have a dance.
00:46:28
Whatever, have a dance.
00:46:29
I'll marry you when I want to you on a fucking Wednesday.
00:46:32
On a group on day, Carl.
00:46:35
I'll cheat on Jesse with you, Carl, in 60 years.
00:46:39
So then we see six summers ago.
00:46:41
Carl and Paige making out in the pantry.
00:46:43
That was disturbing.
00:46:45
Paige was so young and fresh.
00:46:47
I know.
00:46:48
And Carl was like, come, come into the closet.
00:46:50
I know.
00:46:52
Can you imagine going into the pantry with Carl now?
00:46:56
He's like, oh, so hold on.
00:47:00
It's like, oh, my God, are you trying to kiss me?
00:47:02
No, I'm just actually trying to reach those lorna dunes behind you.
00:47:05
Yeah.
00:47:06
I love these cookies.
00:47:07
Are they cookies or they biscuits?
00:47:09
I don't know.
00:47:10
It's just really, really hard being in the closet.
00:47:13
After with Lindsay put me through.
00:47:15
Shut the fuck up.
00:47:16
Burn the closet.
00:47:18
So Wes is like, so when did you last have sex?
00:47:22
He's like, guys, like, I just came to the house this summer because I want to learn.
00:47:27
I'm like, be single.
00:47:28
Yeah.
00:47:29
And, like, can I be honest?
00:47:31
I looked over at Lindsay and she's the last person I had sex with.
00:47:35
And now she's pregnant.
00:47:36
You do the math.
00:47:37
And they're like, wait, it's been a lot of months.
00:47:42
But I do take a while.
00:47:44
I'm a late bloomer.
00:47:45
I'm a late bloomer.
00:47:46
Yeah.
00:47:47
Guys, this is really hard for me.
00:47:49
I kind of want to just hold my hand right now.
00:47:51
I need never want to be really tender because I got to say, let's say, oh.
00:47:55
I haven't had sex in a year.
00:47:57
And they're like, whoa.
00:47:59
Oh.
00:48:00
Gross.
00:48:01
Stupid.
00:48:02
Why would you do that to yourself?
00:48:07
I can't do that.
00:48:09
I haven't had sex with Crank.
00:48:12
Jesse's, Jesse's Lily's, he's like, but I mean, Carl, you could walk outside here in the hamptons and have sex with whoever you want.
00:48:19
And it's like, cut the count just the way I'm like, you damn right, he could.
00:48:24
Right here, if you and Sag Harbor, let me tell you something.
00:48:27
Nothing's sagging in this harbor.
00:48:29
I get over here, boy.
00:48:32
Well, guys, just like, emotionally, it hasn't felt right.
00:48:38
And no one can appreciate a half a boner like Lindsay could.
00:48:43
You know, other girls make partial impotence sound like a hindrance.
00:48:47
But Lindsay would just dance and she would just aim and dance like nobody's watching.
00:48:52
You know, miss that girl.
00:48:54
What were we talking about?
00:48:56
The West is like, damn, he needs like a subscription to browsers or something.
00:49:00
Like some porn.
00:49:02
Did anybody else Google browsers after that?
00:49:09
Straight people are crazy.
00:49:11
Everyone knows what browsers is.
00:49:13
I mean, I felt like gay people were the perverts.
00:49:15
That's what I always learned growing up.
00:49:16
Like you're perverted.
00:49:17
You're going to hell.
00:49:18
I'm like, we're going to hell.
00:49:19
You've been to browsers.
00:49:20
Good Lord.
00:49:22
They're guys coming out every place.
00:49:25
I don't have a subscription to browsers.
00:49:28
But I do have a subscription to Perseus, which is like women moderately dressed.
00:49:33
So I don't want to get a boner because I just want to be soft.
00:49:40
I just renewed my subscription to ankles.
00:49:43
Ladies lifting their skirts in the 20s.
00:49:47
Hey, just like, oh my god, I just love this juxtaposition so much.
00:49:51
You know, Carl became a priest and Lindsay is pregnant with their third child.
00:49:55
Yeah, I haven't really been dating on the past seven or eight months.
00:49:59
My focus has just been trying to take care of myself, which is what I've been saying for five years on this show.
00:50:04
I just want to get rid of all this anger and resentment I have towards the person that I dumped.
00:50:08
Yeah, it's like been so hard having so much anger and resentment to the woman I embarrassed on national television.
00:50:16
You know, when you get dumped, it's hard, but when you're at the dumper, I get so much anger.
00:50:21
It's really rough.
00:50:25
It's really rough guys.
00:50:25
So they cheers and stuff.
00:50:27
And they're like, oh, wow.
00:50:28
Yeah, to like West, to West, getting some cutie.
00:50:34
What's that?
00:50:35
What did you say?
00:50:36
What did you say?
00:50:38
I don't hear it.
00:50:39
To Carl, getting some cutie.
00:50:41
Cutie.
00:50:42
Cutie.
00:50:43
Is that correct?
00:50:44
Did I write that correct?
00:50:45
No one here knows what it is either.
00:50:47
We all need a browser subscription in here.
00:50:50
Cutie.
00:50:51
I assume anything with two syllables and two double letters is slang for pussy, right?
00:50:56
Cutie, pussy, buppy, guppy.
00:51:00
Puddy.
00:51:01
Guppy.
00:51:02
Yeah, like bro, I got some guppy last night.
00:51:06
That sounds like an offense that could put you behind bars.
00:51:11
Yeah.
00:51:12
That's straight people shit.
00:51:13
So baby fish grows.
00:51:15
So now they're asking somebody else if they're dating, I don't know.
00:51:19
And a man is like, wow, oh, West.
00:51:21
And a man is like, that's a wild question to ask West if he's dating with.
00:51:26
How many girls are you fucking?
00:51:29
And he's like, um, guys like technically speaking, like, um, people just mostly make fun of my hair and my outfits.
00:51:38
But, um, I do have a dating show coming out on the internet, so that's something.
00:51:43
That is not your dating life.
00:51:45
What the fuck are you talking about?
00:51:46
Get that scarf off your car.
00:51:47
I know.
00:51:48
He's tried it to promote it.
00:51:50
He says he has a show called West Date Ever.
00:51:53
And we see footage of him on a quote unquote date with Hawke Tua.
00:51:59
But it does actually kind of fitting because you know everybody who goes on a date with West says that at some point.
00:52:05
Did you ever know, and they're talking about how old they are.
00:52:13
Because pages like, oh my god, I'm so old, I've never even seen the original Hawke Tua video.
00:52:17
I saw it recently.
00:52:18
Have you seen it?
00:52:19
I have, yeah.
00:52:20
I still don't understand why she's a thing, but I have seen it.
00:52:27
Yes.
00:52:28
What are you the first person to spit?
00:52:31
I could have been rich years ago.
00:52:34
So, I didn't know that would make you famous.
00:52:39
Anything these days.
00:52:40
So, West is like, yeah, right now my job is like really tough.
00:52:44
Because I have to fly around a lot and go on dates with Hawke Tua.
00:52:47
And like, the worst thing is that like, now I just throw away my recycling.
00:52:52
And I used it like, take time to wash it out.
00:52:54
But now I don't even do it anymore.
00:52:57
I'm so busy I can't even wash out like Chinese takeout containers anymore.
00:53:03
It's like you poor fucking thing, West.
00:53:06
So, now they're talking about Lexi and Jesse.
00:53:09
And Carl's like, yeah, is that a filter yet?
00:53:13
No, Jesse has some concerns, Jesse.
00:53:16
Tell 'em.
00:53:17
Yeah, she made a few comments where he took it.
00:53:20
Like, you might be a jealous girlfriend, right?
00:53:22
And she's like, yeah, any out if you're going to keep commenting on my photos.
00:53:25
Please keep commenting on my phone.
00:53:29
Which, she needs that.
00:53:31
She's married to Kyle.
00:53:32
She needs all the validation she can get.
00:53:35
Sad but true.
00:53:37
I'm gonna start commenting on her photos.
00:53:39
She's like, I'm selling these MySnie sweaters for Christmas.
00:53:43
Nice cans.
00:53:46
Hashtag Hawke Tua.
00:53:49
Hi y'all.
00:53:51
So, they're like, well, I mean, she really likes you.
00:53:55
Obviously, a haul.
00:53:56
You know how you can tell?
00:53:57
Like, as she called you, cocaine Jesse got.
00:53:59
Or like, suggested you'll never have an idea that's profitable.
00:54:03
You know, Hawke Tua.
00:54:09
It actually means something quite different if you live in a certain part of Pittsburgh and the south part.
00:54:15
It means that you have a library card.
00:54:17
Only the working class.
00:54:18
Only the working class with men, please.
00:54:21
It means you.
00:54:23
So, Jesse's like, yeah, guys, you know, it's on.
00:54:26
I'd be leaving this weekend excludes a lot of hervo.
00:54:28
I just don't know anymore.
00:54:30
Shut up.
00:54:31
Why are you acting like that with her then?
00:54:32
When you're around her, you're like, I don't want to look at anything, but you and your juicy booty, baby.
00:54:37
If we're going to be together, we're going to be together.
00:54:39
And then he gets away from her.
00:54:40
He's like, folk and stalker.
00:54:42
Get her away.
00:54:43
I know.
00:54:44
Seriously.
00:54:45
Wow.
00:54:47
Wow.
00:54:48
Now.
00:54:51
So, back at the house, Kyle is at his little DJ set up at Club Send It.
00:54:55
And he's like, ladies and gentlemen, the Chevy Lumina has arrived.
00:55:01
I laugh at him, but I know I would 100% be doing the same thing.
00:55:07
Any time anything shows up at the door, I'd be like, hold on, guys, I've got to get to my DJ set up.
00:55:12
Ladies and gentlemen, an Amazon box has arrived.
00:55:15
Please pick it up.
00:55:16
So, Sierra's like, hey, Paige, do you want to do a TikTok?
00:55:19
I'm just like, no.
00:55:21
Do it, Paige.
00:55:22
No talk.
00:55:23
Come on, Paige, do a TikTok, Diana Fire Talk.
00:55:25
Diana Fire Talk.
00:55:26
I'm not doing that shit.
00:55:27
So, Paige, don't do it.
00:55:28
So, the rest of them do a TikTok.
00:55:30
It's a surprise Wes wasn't there, actually, because that seems like it.
00:55:32
I know.
00:55:33
I'll bend dance.
00:55:35
Let me do it.
00:55:36
And then, yeah, they all go out, they party, they come back.
00:55:39
And then we get, I guess the new tradition on this season, which is that Imrul brings back a ghost.
00:55:47
He fucks a ghost.
00:55:48
He brings back a little arrow.
00:55:49
I mean, he really likes him thin.
00:55:51
Every one of them has just looked like this.
00:55:53
I know.
00:55:54
It's like-- At this point, I'm like, is he just boning a door?
00:55:58
It's like, you see a door open, and it's like, Imrul's visitor.
00:56:03
'Cause I hate Casper.
00:56:05
Ladies are in there eating some bagel bites.
00:56:07
All right, if you want, so I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name.
00:56:09
And Imrul's like, don't worry, she'll catch Plenty tonight.
00:56:13
I'm doing to you.
00:56:14
Which, by the way, it really sucks for these visitors, because if they're hoping to get on TV, and then they're getting edited to be basically, like, Niles' wife on Frazier.
00:56:24
That sucks.
00:56:26
Yeah, 'cause you know they're assigning those releases.
00:56:29
Yeah.
00:56:30
It's like, no, we're not giving you the pleasure.
00:56:31
Well, there's a lot of releases happening there.
00:56:34
Legal releases, guys.
00:56:38
God, stop watching Brasers.
00:56:40
So now Lexi and Jesse are in bed, and he's like, oh, I'm gonna go.
00:56:47
It's like, where are you going?
00:56:49
No, no, no, good trying.
00:56:50
He's like, oh.
00:56:51
Sorry, it's hard to get into your pants.
00:56:53
You can't really blame me for trying, right?
00:56:55
I mean, you got such a juicy booty.
00:56:57
And you think, oh my God, I've always been so insecure about my booty.
00:57:00
When they talk about it.
00:57:01
It's like, oh.
00:57:02
So now it's the next morning.
00:57:07
The ghost has left the house.
00:57:09
And they leave early, too.
00:57:11
What is Imrul doing to these girls?
00:57:13
Oh, no.
00:57:14
I'm not like that.
00:57:15
If I sleep with somebody, I'm sleeping in.
00:57:17
I don't care where it is.
00:57:18
It could be on a bus bench.
00:57:20
I'll be like, give me a bagel.
00:57:21
Yeah.
00:57:22
So we see a trail of Loub going to the door.
00:57:31
I mean, you saw, was it last week, when Wes felt down the stairs a little bit?
00:57:36
You know why.
00:57:37
You know why.
00:57:39
So Jesse and Lexi wake up, and he's like, you're so pretty.
00:57:44
Like every time I look in your eyes in the morning with no makeup, I'm like, God.
00:57:48
This girl's so fucking pretty.
00:57:50
But also, why does her nose look like a twig?
00:57:53
Is that in my mind?
00:57:54
And she's like, um, it's called contouring.
00:57:59
My gold nose is a pinky finger.
00:58:02
So are you feeling?
00:58:04
Because she really does.
00:58:05
Her nose is beautiful, but she contours it like this.
00:58:09
It looks like snot dripping from her eyebrows.
00:58:12
Just down here.
00:58:14
Well, the family that contours together stays together.
00:58:17
That's what we've learned from her family.
00:58:19
No, that other girl.
00:58:20
Her sister doesn't contour.
00:58:21
What's the opposite of contour?
00:58:23
We're just like, make it look like one big.
00:58:26
I believe that's called a pro-tour.
00:58:28
She just gets that lipstick and puts it all over her face.
00:58:32
She doesn't.
00:58:33
Yeah.
00:58:34
It's my sister Tiffany.
00:58:35
She's like, oh, gosh.
00:58:36
That girl's crazy face.
00:58:39
Yeah.
00:58:40
She's...
00:58:41
I want some Tiffany on this.
00:58:42
I know.
00:58:43
I mean, she does come on looking like she's doing Phantom of the Opera with makeup.
00:58:46
Did you know if the chandelier fell on to Carlotta?
00:58:50
Okay.
00:58:51
So...
00:58:52
Paul, what?
00:58:53
Did you know that Lexi has a podcast with her mom and her sister called the 69 Girls?
00:58:58
I can't.
00:59:00
We are a mom.
00:59:02
Come on.
00:59:03
I can't believe I missed that compelling content.
00:59:07
I was so distracted by Carl's press release.
00:59:10
Why is that?
00:59:11
His press release.
00:59:14
So...
00:59:15
Oh, and I'm on, my nephew said we're getting cakey to her in 69 Girls.
00:59:21
Yeah.
00:59:22
So Jesse's like, yeah, you're so pretty.
00:59:24
Are you feeling good about us?
00:59:26
Because I feel great about us.
00:59:27
That's why I told everyone you're becoming a raging jealous bitch.
00:59:30
Anyway, what do you think?
00:59:32
She's like, yeah, I'm pretty good.
00:59:34
Although I just started to realize you're not famous.
00:59:36
And I've been doing famous guys.
00:59:39
No, I just want you to know.
00:59:41
I can be jealous.
00:59:42
He's like, I know.
00:59:43
Okay, but now that we're in bed, we can talk about it.
00:59:45
Because like, being a model, like, basically my entire existence.
00:59:48
Since I was 10 years old, I was completely picked apart.
00:59:51
It's been like so hard.
00:59:53
Like, I'm never good enough.
00:59:54
Like, everyone keeps saying, oh, Jesse's a boob guy.
00:59:57
Jesse's a boob guy.
00:59:58
He's like, what?
01:00:00
Who said that I'm a boob guy?
01:00:03
Couching.
01:00:04
I mean, his press release did nice, too.
01:00:07
What?
01:00:10
Are you getting a Charlie horse?
01:00:14
I had one this morning in bed.
01:00:16
Thanks to yoga.
01:00:19
Just be careful.
01:00:22
That was nice.
01:00:23
Okay.
01:00:24
For those listening at home, Ronnie just circled the chair.
01:00:27
Yeah, I mean the separate cross.
01:00:29
That was nice.
01:00:30
That was adorable.
01:00:32
Hey, by the way, you feeling good about us?
01:00:36
I'm feeling really insecure and I'm so hard being so pretty.
01:00:42
So he's like, where?
01:00:44
Who says I'm a boob guy?
01:00:45
That's ridiculous.
01:00:46
He's like, everyone.
01:00:47
Well, no one said that Jesse's a boob guy, right?
01:00:49
Because we see clips that prove that they didn't.
01:00:51
But you're right.
01:00:52
He's like, it's nice tits.
01:00:53
He's like, Uber's here, guys.
01:00:55
Love your cans.
01:00:56
Love your cans.
01:00:58
Hey, Wes, don't worry about not doing the recycling.
01:01:00
Because I will always take care of some cans.
01:01:03
So he's like, I'm not a boob guy, I'm a butt guy.
01:01:06
Yeah, show me that juicy booty.
01:01:09
Yeah, juicy booty.
01:01:11
So then-- So she's like, well, I've always been insecure about my butt, too.
01:01:14
What do you think about my elbow skin?
01:01:17
It's hard.
01:01:18
Can I put my dick on it?
01:01:20
I'm only giving up this wattle when I'm engaged.
01:01:23
So then everyone else is waking up and everything.
01:01:29
And Paige is like, wait a second.
01:01:32
Something smells oily.
01:01:35
Was there someone in here last night?
01:01:38
Was there a person in this house that we just never saw?
01:01:41
I mean, I know I seem to remember saying hi to something, but I thought that was a floating vase.
01:01:46
I could have sworn I woke up in the middle of the night and I just saw slimy footprints on the door on the floor and then a floating bagel bite being chopped.
01:01:56
Wait a second.
01:01:57
Was that sex swing always there?
01:02:00
Oh, that's just me, guys.
01:02:02
That's just me, it's just Emerald.
01:02:04
So now people go to the pool.
01:02:06
Oh, well, first Jesse lets out a big long two-minute fart.
01:02:11
Sneak preview of my hotel room later tonight.
01:02:15
He's like, oh, whoa.
01:02:19
I wasn't even done farting and I got a text from Lexi.
01:02:23
Farting makes me insecure.
01:02:26
Just like, I have like really small farts.
01:02:32
It's been like so hard to have model farts.
01:02:37
So then, Sierra, they're talking about the fact that Emerald brought back another girl.
01:02:41
And Carl was like, y'all, it was crazy.
01:02:43
He was like making out with her at the table and I was like, that kind of world is like so far now.
01:02:49
Like, I can't just like meet someone at a club and be like, oh, you're hot and start making out.
01:02:54
How do you even do that?
01:02:56
I'm like, Carl, you're sober.
01:02:58
You still get erections.
01:02:59
Come on now.
01:03:00
He's playing it too hard.
01:03:01
He's playing his whole-- I'm not a dutch bag anymore.
01:03:04
I'm called 9.0.
01:03:06
Like, he's playing it a little too hard.
01:03:08
It's a little bit too much.
01:03:09
Fix your boner.
01:03:10
At this point, just fix your boner.
01:03:12
Because we already knew it was a problem last season when Lindsay's like, we've tried my seven times ad sex.
01:03:16
And he's like, oh, it's because you don't like my idea of brick and mortar.
01:03:20
[LAUGHTER]
01:03:24
So they all-- No one ever stopped getting boners because they were afraid of Elise.
01:03:28
We're just telling you that right now.
01:03:31
Who's Elise?
01:03:33
Actually, remember Elise?
01:03:35
Who remembers Elise?
01:03:36
Elise Sloan?
01:03:37
New York?
01:03:38
Yeah.
01:03:39
She was great.
01:03:41
God rest her soul.
01:03:42
So, anyway, they all go out.
01:03:45
There's been an Elise murder in here.
01:03:48
What Elise do?
01:03:50
She's the ghost that came in.
01:03:52
Hi, I'm Elise.
01:03:53
I'm here to fuck 'em, Roll.
01:03:55
So they all go out to the pool.
01:03:57
They're hanging out.
01:03:58
And they start asking.
01:03:59
They're like, wait a second.
01:04:00
We just realized we have a new person living with us.
01:04:02
I guess we should ask him questions about his life.
01:04:04
So, Emerald, what's the deal with you?
01:04:06
And he's basically like, yeah, I was married.
01:04:09
It actually was-- I was a totally different person back then.
01:04:14
I met this girl, and I really loved her.
01:04:16
I didn't just marry her for a green card or anything.
01:04:19
So, we went to City Hall.
01:04:21
She took the ball guy I got her mouth.
01:04:25
They said, we've never seen someone in all latex here.
01:04:28
But we'll let it slide.
01:04:29
I said a lot of things slide.
01:04:31
It was a nice relationship.
01:04:32
I mean, I will never forget the moment we exchanged cock rings.
01:04:35
It was-- It was special.
01:04:38
It was really special.
01:04:40
And then I just realized, you know, I just had to fuck more people.
01:04:43
And she was like, do it.
01:04:45
So, it wasn't for a green card, you know?
01:04:47
And it's basically because I came here as an illegal immigrant.
01:04:50
And Kyle goes, so, what did I call that, a documented?
01:04:55
[LAUGHTER]
01:04:58
Yeah, a question.
01:04:59
In this world, where you're talking to fucking Emerald, listening to this story, and you're still more embarrassing, Kyle.
01:05:06
Come on.
01:05:07
Ah, a question.
01:05:12
If you're an illegal alien, are you allowed to promote lover boy?
01:05:14
[LAUGHTER]
01:05:17
So, they're shocked that this guy is actually married.
01:05:19
Or it was married.
01:05:20
We don't know, still, I guess.
01:05:22
I think he's still married, but now they're just fucking people.
01:05:24
No, they-- I know, I think they're divorced.
01:05:26
And now, he was like, I realized after that marriage that if it's not the one, I might as well fuck everything inside until I find the one.
01:05:34
Yeah, why not?
01:05:35
Welcome to the gay life.
01:05:36
Yeah.
01:05:37
Okay, so try it.
01:05:39
You might like it.
01:05:40
So, he's like, yeah, he really, they give him a big long monologue.
01:05:44
It goes on and on here.
01:05:46
And this is the cast's face.
01:05:48
[LAUGHTER]
01:05:54
They're like, my amount of ten of us have fucked Carl and we're still grossed out by you.
01:05:57
I don't know.
01:05:59
We thought it'd be like funnier than that.
01:06:02
[LAUGHTER]
01:06:04
I know they thought it would be fun, you know?
01:06:06
Because it's like the Golden Girls like Blanche comes and she tells like her slutty stories.
01:06:11
And they're always good.
01:06:13
But it's like if Blanche just came in and she's like, I fucked a lot of people.
01:06:17
[LAUGHTER]
01:06:19
I just hate cheesecake.
01:06:20
You be like, what the fuck is she doing?
01:06:22
Hope I don't keep anyone up.
01:06:24
We were fisting.
01:06:25
You're like, aw.
01:06:26
Yes, goes too far.
01:06:28
Blanche going way too far.
01:06:30
So they-- Carl's like, wow, you know, I appreciate you sharing that.
01:06:35
You're like the wind to my non-working wing.
01:06:38
It's like, it feels great.
01:06:40
I don't even know what that's like to fist anymore.
01:06:43
I can't even go into a sex club anymore and know what to do.
01:06:46
[LAUGHTER]
01:06:49
But I did vote for Obama.
01:06:52
Never could I believe hope.
01:06:56
Every gay guy who passed that was like, mm.
01:06:59
[LAUGHTER]
01:07:02
I was like, what was the connection?
01:07:04
I was like, hope.
01:07:05
And every time I passed it, I was like, aw.
01:07:10
I'll vote for you out of solidarity.
01:07:12
But I'm not ready for that.
01:07:16
So everyone goes home.
01:07:18
We go back to the city.
01:07:19
And then the main event happens, which is a date with Paige and Craig.
01:07:24
By the way, anyone who watches TikTok.
01:07:27
I learned on TikTok today because I didn't bring my little steamer thing.
01:07:30
And if you have clothes and you just rub them really hard with friction, it will iron the clothes like the heat will-- It doesn't work.
01:07:37
It's still clipping up.
01:07:39
So in case anyone's wondering why I'm giving myself nip jobs, I'm trying to make myself presentable.
01:07:44
That's how the pioneers did it when they-- Heather Gaye's great, great, great grandfather only made it to Salt Lake by doing self-ironing.
01:07:58
So Craig and Paige go to an Australian restaurant.
01:08:03
And based on Australian restaurants on Bravo, I would say not a good sign.
01:08:09
Not a good sign.
01:08:11
All right.
01:08:12
So they go in and they have to order.
01:08:16
And Paige is like, oh, this is like a legit kangaroo?
01:08:20
She's like, oh, yeah.
01:08:22
This is actually Australian.
01:08:23
It's not just a cute name.
01:08:25
Like, does that freak you out?
01:08:28
Like, you got to try new things every once in a while, you know?
01:08:34
Like, I've tried lying before.
01:08:38
Oh, fuck off.
01:08:39
How do people watch Craig for five minutes and think, that guy's so cute.
01:08:43
He ate a lion.
01:08:44
You know, why are we stringing Jimmy John's that?
01:08:47
You know, get Craig.
01:08:49
It's the circle of life.
01:08:51
So Paige is like, I'm trying to think of like, what's the grossest thing that I've had?
01:08:58
Maybe a lean cuisine once.
01:09:01
Have you tried squirrel?
01:09:04
No.
01:09:05
You can eat a squirrel crack that's a rodent.
01:09:08
So we're penguins and we eat them.
01:09:11
We don't eat penguins.
01:09:13
No, that's why there was that movie called The Dinner of the Penguins.
01:09:17
It's called The March of the Penguins.
01:09:19
It sounds nothing like that, Craig.
01:09:20
Stop making stuff up.
01:09:22
With mustard.
01:09:23
No, Craig, now you're just making things up.
01:09:25
So, you know, you got to do what you need to do to feed your family.
01:09:30
By the way, so the waitress comes over.
01:09:32
I love this.
01:09:33
The waitress comes over and they go, can you tell us more about the kangaroo?
01:09:38
And the waitress goes, well, it's kangaroo.
01:09:44
And that's it.
01:09:46
Okay, we'll have that.
01:09:48
Yeah, I'll have kangaroo in a cappuccino.
01:09:50
What the fuck?
01:09:52
The signs were everywhere, people.
01:09:55
Everywhere.
01:09:56
What kind of palate do you have?
01:09:58
And so-- Page.
01:10:01
Yeah, Page is like, I'm getting a cappuccino after breakfast is frowned upon in Italy and also just in my personality.
01:10:10
You know, that a fewer Italian.
01:10:12
He's like, I'm Dutch.
01:10:13
So I don't care.
01:10:14
I do what I want.
01:10:15
Yeah, well, do you still listen to your parents?
01:10:17
He goes, I'm 36 years old.
01:10:21
Yeah, well, in my 31 years on this earth, my mom has never been wrong once.
01:10:27
So why all of a sudden, when I got married and have kids, would she ever be wrong?
01:10:31
Because I'm going to be your husband and I'm going to have a say in things.
01:10:35
Oh, honey.
01:10:36
No, you're not.
01:10:37
You're dating Page.
01:10:38
And then your husband's standing out there really thinking that that's going to happen.
01:10:41
Fuck you, too.
01:10:44
We don't marry you to give you a say.
01:10:47
I can go masses.
01:10:49
If you were getting your way-- It's not you.
01:10:51
Yeah, if Craig were getting his way, he would still be punching walls in Charleston.
01:10:55
Okay.
01:10:56
Page was like, you're going to start wearing polo shirts and make money.
01:11:00
Thank you very much.
01:11:01
So I'm like, well, sometimes I feel guilty about certain decisions because of my parents.
01:11:05
You know, like dating you.
01:11:07
My mom's disgusted.
01:11:09
They still do it.
01:11:13
Or like, you know, like Lindsey had a baby.
01:11:13
And my first reaction was ew.
01:11:14
And then my second reaction was like, sesquence is coming out of that.
01:11:19
And then my third reaction was ew.
01:11:22
And then my fourth reaction was stop reacting ew.
01:11:25
And then I thought, my mom's going to be mad that Lindsey had a baby before me.
01:11:28
He's like, you want to have babies?
01:11:29
She's like, no.
01:11:30
I just-- I don't want to embarrass my mom.
01:11:33
And I just-- I don't want to be 75 like Lindsey when I have my first baby.
01:11:38
It's so hard when you're having a geriatric pregnancy.
01:11:43
And you're actually a geriatric athlete.
01:11:47
Well, you shouldn't be having a baby because your parents want to be grandparents.
01:11:51
You should be having a baby because I want you to have a baby.
01:11:54
You shouldn't do it for your parents.
01:11:56
You should do it for a man.
01:11:59
And I was like, oh, you know, I just think it's like a bummer sometimes because like we both have like single lives.
01:12:05
But then like, we need to be together.
01:12:08
I'm like, you wear so many shoes and you could be barefoot in the kitchen.
01:12:12
The vibe design.
01:12:13
So it sounds like you're ready for the next step.
01:12:15
And he's like, I'm not ready for the next step.
01:12:17
I'm just ready for you to take off your fucking shoes and have my baby's fucking complainer.
01:12:23
So then the-- I brought you a gift.
01:12:25
Oh my god.
01:12:26
It's a red cape with a white hat thing.
01:12:30
Thanks, Craig.
01:12:31
Thanks, Craig.
01:12:32
Thanks, Craig.
01:12:33
But seriously, listen to how he's talking.
01:12:36
He's like, no, I don't want anything to change.
01:12:38
But you know you can't still have a career like this once we have babies.
01:12:42
Better learn to sew your fucking house shut sewing down south.
01:12:48
Oh my god.
01:12:49
Fuck is wrong with him.
01:12:51
Well, there clearly was a lot of tension, but thankfully the kangaroo arrives to-- pages like ill.
01:12:58
So by the way, this is kind of like a health check on the relationship because like we're happy now and like cut to her frowning.
01:13:08
And like let's continue because we put effort into it that we make each other priority no matter how busy we get.
01:13:14
Yeah.
01:13:15
Well, you know, that's why I feel like you're bringing it up because I feel like there's a tinge of you being like maybe not happy, which is wild because I'm page in your Craig and you should be so fucking happy to even be sitting here having a meal with me.
01:13:26
Yeah, but all I'm saying is like you're like legitimately more successful and busier, which is awesome.
01:13:34
Yeah, I'm just saying like sometimes it's a bummer that we can't do stuff like have babies and get married.
01:13:41
And she's like, I'm sorry, I'm famous now.
01:13:43
And he's like, well, if I was being honest, like if you're busy for the rest of our lives, I just don't see this working out.
01:13:49
Bye!
01:13:50
Can we clap this kangaroo and this nasty ass cappuccino up for this bad breath mother fucker and somebody put them on the train.
01:13:59
Thank you.
01:14:00
Who's cheese?
01:14:02
That's fine.
01:14:04
I know.
01:14:05
She's literally selling out Radio City Music Hall multiple nights in a row.
01:14:09
And he's like, come hang out by my pool in Charleston.
01:14:13
You got a friend from college stoning you a couple of pillows sit down, sir.
01:14:20
So she's like, well, it just makes me feel like if I get more successful, like that's a bad thing.
01:14:25
And he's like, yeah.
01:14:27
She's like, wait, are you breaking up with me in an Australian restaurant?
01:14:33
Do we have to call Ashley Darby?
01:14:34
He's like, huh.
01:14:37
I just never thought I'd be like in such a submissive relationship.
01:14:40
Really?
01:14:41
Have you not watched the past 10 years of your show?
01:14:44
When have you not been a fucking was?
01:14:47
Cut to Naomi.
01:14:48
Craig, are you ever going to leave the house?
01:14:50
You've been here all week.
01:14:51
You haven't taken a shower and all you've done is stare at that stupid sewing machine.
01:14:55
Get a fucking life you smell.
01:14:57
I think, what's the matter with my sewing?
01:15:01
You've been in nothing but submissive relationships.
01:15:04
Now put the gag back in your mouth.
01:15:06
And she's like, should I apologize for being strong and independent?
01:15:11
And he's like, yes.
01:15:14
That would be nice.
01:15:16
So he's like, I just want you to be everything you want.
01:15:18
But then I just want you to give it up to bear my popsicle children and clean my house.
01:15:22
She's like gross.
01:15:24
So at this end, I just wish she would have just murdered him maybe, like killed him.
01:15:31
So I'm going to say death on the table.
01:15:36
So that's pretty much that, huh?
01:15:37
I thought I had Mark as I had to about to go previously on summer house.
01:15:41
I wrote that all at the end.
01:15:42
Next week.
01:15:45
Next week on summer house.
01:15:48
So here's the thing.
01:15:50
So the reason why I'm a cake eater is because I've had so many struggles in my life.
01:15:56
My teeth have been yellow for so long.
01:15:59
I'm kind of on the ground living here short.
01:16:01
Are you eating cake right now?
01:16:03
I'm not just trying to steal my soul.
01:16:06
That brings us to the end of summer house.
01:16:08
Thank you so much.
01:16:09
Thank you so much.
01:16:10
Thank you.
01:16:11
Thank you for having us back.
01:16:12
And we'll see you next time.
01:16:14
Good night, everyone.
01:16:16
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We could all learn from Jennifer Kerns.
01:17:09
She's our kind of message.
01:17:10
Jennifer Messer.
01:17:11
Sip some scotch with Jessica Tratch.
01:17:13
Knock, knock, knocking on Katie Manock's door.
01:17:16
She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock.
01:17:19
Kristen, the piston Anderson.
01:17:21
Get a B in your bonnet with Lacey B.
01:17:23
Ringing the funk.
01:17:24
It's Leslie Plunkett.
01:17:25
She gets a name from us.
01:17:27
It's Lindsay D.
01:17:28
Let's give a kiss Arino to Lisa Lino.
01:17:31
Fresh as a Daisy.
01:17:32
It's amazing McKinnery.
01:17:33
We love her on the rocks.
01:17:35
It's Melissa Cox.
01:17:36
Megan Berg.
01:17:37
You can't have a burger without the burger.
01:17:39
This is live in with Michelle Vivian.
01:17:42
I love a ya Olivia Williamson.
01:17:44
Taste dear than Flanderson.
01:17:46
It's Rachel Anderson.
01:17:47
She sure as swell.
01:17:49
It's Raquel.
01:17:50
Yes, we can.
01:17:51
It's Savannah.
01:17:53
Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman.
01:17:55
Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.
01:17:57
The Bay Area Betches.
01:17:59
Betches.
01:17:59
And our super premium sponsors.
01:18:02
She's VVIP.
01:18:03
It's Amanda V.
01:18:04
Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.
01:18:06
Somebody get us 10 CCs of Betsy MD.
01:18:09
She's got to leg up.
01:18:10
It's Beth Ani.
01:18:12
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva.
01:18:15
Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neal.
01:18:17
Don't get salty with Christine Pepper.
01:18:19
Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
01:18:22
Who what?
01:18:23
Why wear and Gwen Pendland?
01:18:25
It's our queen.
01:18:26
It's Queen Laifa.
01:18:28
Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall.
01:18:30
Know your worth with Jason Kerr.
01:18:32
We got our wish.
01:18:33
It's Jen Plish.
01:18:34
She's not harsh.
01:18:35
She's Jill Hersh.
01:18:37
She's a little bit loony.
01:18:38
Juni.
01:18:39
My favorite murder.
01:18:40
Karen McMurdo.
01:18:42
She gets an A.
01:18:43
It's Kelly B.
01:18:44
We love him madly.
01:18:45
It's Kyle Podd.
01:18:46
Chadley.
01:18:49
We're right or die for Lisa Ryder Baron.
01:18:49
She's a whiz.
01:18:50
It's Liz Sorthy.
01:18:51
Always killing it.
01:18:52
It's Lowal Kalani.
01:18:53
The incredible edible Matthew sisters.
01:18:56
She eases our woes.
01:18:57
It's Melissa St.
01:18:58
Rose.
01:18:59
Give him hell, Miss Noel.
01:19:01
She's the queen B.
01:19:02
It's Sarah Lemke.
01:19:04
Shannon out of a cannon Anthony.
01:19:06
Let's take off with Tamela Plane.
01:19:08
She ain't no shrinking Violet Coochar.
01:19:11
We love you guys.
01:19:13
If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad free right now by joining Wendry Plus in the Wendry app or on Apple Podcasts.
01:19:24
Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.
01:19:27
Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wendry.com/survey.
01:19:33
At 24, I lost my narrative.
01:19:35
Or rather, it was stolen from me.
01:19:37
And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics.
01:19:46
I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours.
01:19:50
Something you possess is lost or stolen.
01:19:52
And ultimately, you triumph in finding it again.
01:19:56
So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks both recognizable and unrecognizable names about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph.
01:20:06
My hope is that people will finish an episode of reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up.
01:20:12
They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful.
01:20:19
Follow reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wendry app or wherever you get your podcasts.
01:20:24
You can listen to reclaiming early and ad free right now by joining Wendry Plus in the Wendry app or on Apple Podcasts.
01:20:32
In the 1980s, a Rose swept the country.
01:20:36
Hey, Mike, I really like this white infantile.
01:20:38
Okay, now put it down.
01:20:39
I'm going to try another one.
01:20:40
White Zinn became America's top-selling wine.
01:20:43
But most don't know that this sweet drink has a sour history.
01:20:47
What began in 1986 with counterfeit bottles.
01:20:50
A big fraud, a multi-million dollar fraud.
01:20:53
Cent investigators chasing one of the most powerful families in the business, the Lachardis.
01:20:59
But the closer the feds got to them, the more dangerous things became.
01:21:03
It's a story of deceit.
01:21:05
The time I was paranoid.
01:21:07
Threats.
01:21:08
You touched my kids.
01:21:09
I will kill you.
01:21:10
And murder.
01:21:11
With a 22 caliber bullet to the head.
01:21:14
What started with the scheme to mislabel wine spilled into a blood-soaked battle for succession.
01:21:20
Welcome to Blood Vines.
01:21:23
You can binge listen to Blood Vines exclusively and ad free on Wendry Plus.
01:21:28
Join Wendry Plus in the Wendry app, Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
01:21:32
