Lords:

• Linker


• Alexa

Topics:

• Variations in vampire stories: types of powers, origins of vampires, lack of consent lol


• Anthropomorphism/Connection in media


• Get a free burger when you join my rewards


• Meditation at Lagunitas by Robert Hass
  
  
  
  
  • https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/47553/meditation-at-lagunitas
  
  


• What letter of the alphabet would win in a Royal Rumble


• Anti-Lesbian Vampire Propaganda of the 1970s as shown in The Vampire Lovers (1970)
  
  
  
  
  • https://crossingsjournal.ca/index.php/crossings/article/view/283
  
  

Microtopics:

• Being American and then being Canadian-American.


• Elephantasy and Elephantasy Flipside.


• Crazy Aaron's Thinking Putty.


• 3D-printed worms.


• A plastic casing attached to your keychain that used to have a clicky button on it.


• What we did to fidget after the industrialization of textiles.


• How office workers goofed off before the Internet.


• Bella's lead skull that prevents Edward from mind-controlling her.


• Making up a power to be your favorite vampire power.


• What happens when you inhale a vampire in mist form.


• Using a picture of Cat's Cradle to illustrate the concept of telekinesis.


• Putting the vampire coffin in steerage and the familiar has to sit in coach and then pull the coffin off of the luggage conveyor belt.


• Would it be fun to turn into mist and be collected in a cup and then drunk?


• Miss Frizzle, vampire expert.


• Getting frustrated at a stealth video game and giving up being a pacifist as a metaphor for being an old vampire.


• New Money vs. Old Money vampires.


• Vampires going on Fetlife to find ethically sourced food.


• One mysterious vampire at Goth night at the nightclub quietly asking to drink your blood, vs. twenty vampires going around begging and everyone's like jeez, this again?


• Nobody expecting you to embezzle the blood.


• Talking to a computer like it's a person you have absolutely no respect for, in a way you'd never talk to a real person because you assign a baseline respect for just being a real person, and people overhearing you are like "holy shit they're really mad" but you're not mad, you're just talking to a computer.


• Apologizing to the table you just ran into.


• It Takes Two.


• Following the instructions of the book of love.


• Creation of personality in moments of friction.


• Interacting with video games in similar ways as you would a person, expect without the social anxiety.


• Why would you ruin this perfectly good complex system with social anxiety?


• We've got teamwork at home.


• Sentient burgers enslaving other sentient burgers.


• Being rewarded with a free burger but then turning into a burger and being given away as a reward.


• Chicken stars! They're like chicken nuggets but they're shaped like stars!


• Where were you when you were drafted into the Rewards Wars?


• Naming your rewards program "My Rewards" so when the mascot refers to it it sounds like the rewards belong to the mascot.


• Demanding to see the terms and conditions before you eat this hamburger.


• A word that is elegy to what it signifies.


• Moments when the body is as numinous as words.


• Taking some LSD and learning about non-symbolic states.


• Ignoring poetry in the same way that you ignore ads.


• Vampire jokes!


• Transylvanian Hounds.


• Serif H being much more combat-ready than sans serif H.


• The most bouba letters.


• Capital O rolling around crushing the other letters of the alphabet like in Raiders of the Lost Ark.


• Distraction the ref so you can stab.


• Which letter of the alphabet could do the best backflip.


• Whether the ampersand counts as a letter.


• Letters that are good at stabbing vs. letters with broad sturdy bases.


• The nuclear family emerging in response to the financial boom following World War II.


• Anti-lesbian propaganda films that are far too sexy to be effective.


• Heteronormative fiances.


• Carmella the lesbian vampire stealing your wife.


• The vampire lesbians receiving their comeuppance and the heteronormative couple living happily every after.


• Be gay do crimes. (Murder.)


• Buying Linker's games so he doesn't die.

Support Topic Lords