Lords:

• Ryan


• CisHetKayfaber

Topics:

• My vocal stims are getting out of control now that I don't have pets.


• Training to become a Tetris Grandmaster
  
  
  
  
  • https://www.youtube.com/@cishetkayfaber/videos
  
  


• Switching to not-bifocals


• Eagle Eye Cherry - Save Tonight
  
  
  
  
  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nntd2fgMUYw
  
  

Microtopics:

• Introducing yourself or plugging something.


• Going to Cape Town for Playtopia.


• Enemies to enemies to lovers.


• A game conference with a name that sounds way too much like Fruitopia.


• What you would do for an Orbitz right now.


• An apple juice with basil seeds ensconced in it, like an Orbitz.


• I'm not mean, I'm just trying to manifest bullying.


• Semisolid Kind of Life.


• A dog following you into the kitchen and acting like a Ghostbusters trap except for all your bullshit rather than ectoplasm.


• The movie about the prep school kids who poop on the floor at their magic school.


• Making yourself laugh by doing a Gollum voice while you make a sandwich.


• Hanging up a happy face on the fridge and writing "mirror" on top of it to convince yourself that you're okay.


• An action figure that absorbs all the dark energy aimed at you.


• Giving advice to someone that you really have no basis for.


• The dog who loved your terrible celebrity impressions and the dog who gives you a look like "I expected more of you"


• Your online source for news about what water parks Jim and his family went to.


• The kind of Tetris that you become s grandmaster in.


• Tetris but the pieces don't fall, they just instantly appear at the bottom of the well.


• How the Tetris company wants you to play Tetris.


• Delayed Auto-Shift.


• Doing a hadouken move to place the zigzag piece in the correct column.


• Stack faster, stack better.


• A skill you can practice and get better at.


• Training for three or four hours a day on a hacked PlayStation Vita to become a Tetris Grandmaster.


• How the Tetris the Grandmaster community feels about leverless controls.


• Going several years between occasions to say hello to your wife.


• Going for a walk around the block so you have an excuse to say hello to your wife when you get back.


• Seeing a person and immediately infodumping at them.


• What they have now instead of bifocals.


• Training your eyes to look through the part of the lens that does the thing.


• Going to the optometrist and saying "just fuck me up"


• Why they don't make bifocals for text at the distance of a computer monitor.


• There's still time, and there's dignity.


• Watching the VOD of your own death because you missed the livestream.


• Getting used to your vision swimming in a new way when you get new glasses.


• Getting an eye exam and saying "I'd rather not say" when they ask you what letters you see.


• Freeballing your corneas.


• A fellow glasses enjoyer.


• A cursed gem that gives you astigmatism.


• Doing the Magic Eye thing in order to learn to read.


• Being born a trust fund kid, except it's your eyeballs.


• The return of the quarter speed music video.


• Even slower slow motion.


• Why can't Eagle-Eye Cherry crawl?


• Wondering why you haven't leaped yet.


• Singing to the camera while being robbed.


• Watching music videos at 1.5x speed as practice for watching them at .25x speed.


• Suddenly the dog takes its mask off and it was Eagle-Eye Cherry the whole time!


• Promising to eat your glasses frames on camera.


• Forgetting how cool your whole premise is and just stopping doing it.


• Literal music videos.


• A houseplant can't save shit. A houseplant doesn't know what time it is.


• People running around New York and looking sad at the camera.


• Buck Cherry. (Named after Chuck Berry.)

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