Digest

This episode of "This is Actually Happening" delves into the unique experience of growing up in a polyamorous family. The guest, a writer and advocate for non-monogamous families, shares their personal story, detailing the complex dynamics of their family unit, which included multiple parents, siblings, and partners. They discuss the challenges they faced, including navigating societal misunderstandings and the fear of judgment, as well as the benefits of having a supportive and loving network. The guest also reflects on how their upbringing shaped their own views on love, relationships, and society, leading them to embrace non-monogamy and challenge traditional norms. The episode highlights the importance of understanding and accepting diverse family structures, and the need for greater representation and acceptance of non-monogamous relationships.

Outlines

00:00:00

Introduction and Content Warning

This Chapter introduces the podcast "This is Actually Happening" and its focus on real experiences, often including traumatic events. It also provides a content warning for listeners and directs them to the show notes for more information about support services.

00:00:09

The 82% Series: Growing Up Polyamorous

This Chapter introduces the six-part mini-series "The 82%" which explores modern stories of love and family. The episode focuses on the guest's experience growing up in a polyamorous family, setting the stage for a discussion about the complexities and nuances of non-monogamous family structures.

00:02:36

The Guest's Family Story

This Chapter delves into the guest's personal story, detailing how their parents met through medieval reenactment and the unique dynamics of their family unit. The guest describes the relationships between their biological parents, their non-biological mother, and their uncle, highlighting the fluidity and complexity of their family structure.

00:10:54

The Polycule Metaphor

This Chapter explores the concept of a "polycule," a metaphor used to describe the network of relationships within a polyamorous family. The guest shares their personal experience of understanding their family structure through this metaphor, emphasizing the interconnectedness and fluidity of relationships within a polyamorous context.

00:13:16

Navigating Relationships and Boundaries

This Chapter discusses the challenges and strategies involved in navigating relationships within a polyamorous family. The guest shares how their parents balanced their romantic relationships with their commitment to providing a stable and supportive environment for their children.

00:15:46

Societal Challenges and Code-Switching

This Chapter explores the societal challenges faced by the guest growing up in a polyamorous family. They discuss the experience of code-switching and the fear of judgment and misunderstanding from those outside their community.

00:19:30

The Impact of Family Structure on Identity

This Chapter examines the impact of the guest's family structure on their own identity and development. They discuss their journey of self-discovery, including their exploration of non-monogamy, sexuality, and gender identity, and how their upbringing influenced their perspectives.

Keywords

Q&A

• What are the challenges of growing up in a polyamorous family?

  Growing up in a polyamorous family can present unique challenges, including navigating societal misunderstandings, facing judgment and discrimination, and learning to code-switch to protect oneself from harm. The guest also discusses the fear of child protective services and the pressure to keep their family structure a secret.

• How did the guest's upbringing influence their own views on love and relationships?

  The guest's upbringing in a polyamorous family instilled in them a belief in the possibility of multiple loving and committed relationships. They reject the idea of monogamy as the only acceptable form of love and embrace the concept of non-monogamy as a valid and fulfilling way to live.

• What is a polycule and how does it relate to the guest's family structure?

  A polycule is a metaphor used to describe the network of relationships within a polyamorous family or community. The guest uses this metaphor to explain the interconnectedness and fluidity of their family structure, highlighting the various relationships and dynamics that exist beyond traditional nuclear family models.

• What are some of the benefits of growing up in a polyamorous family?

  The guest highlights the benefits of having a supportive and loving network, including the presence of multiple caregivers and the opportunity to build strong bonds with a variety of individuals. They also emphasize the importance of learning about consent and communication within a family context.

• How has the guest used their experience to advocate for non-monogamous families?

  The guest has used their personal story to advocate for greater understanding and acceptance of non-monogamous families. They have spoken at events, written a book, and engaged in online activism to challenge societal norms and promote inclusivity.

• What are some of the societal misconceptions about non-monogamous families?

  The guest discusses the common misconception that non-monogamous families are inherently dysfunctional or harmful to children. They challenge these assumptions and emphasize the importance of recognizing the diversity of family structures and the potential for healthy and fulfilling relationships within non-traditional family models.

• How has the guest dealt with online hate and harassment?

  The guest shares their experience of being targeted with online hate, including threats, slurs, and doxing. They discuss the impact of such harassment and the challenges of navigating online spaces while facing hostility and discrimination.

• What advice does the guest have for others who are navigating non-monogamous relationships or families?

  The guest encourages individuals to embrace their authenticity and to seek out communities and resources that support their choices. They emphasize the importance of communication, consent, and respect in all relationships.

• What is the significance of the guest's story for broader societal understanding?

  The guest's story highlights the importance of challenging societal norms and embracing diversity in family structures. It encourages greater understanding and acceptance of non-monogamous relationships and the need for more inclusive representation in media and society.

• What are some of the key takeaways from this episode?

  This episode emphasizes the importance of understanding and accepting diverse family structures, the need for greater representation and acceptance of non-monogamous relationships, and the challenges and rewards of navigating a non-traditional family dynamic. It also highlights the importance of challenging societal norms and embracing authenticity in all aspects of life.

Show Notes