Digest

This episode of "This is Actually Happening" delves into the personal story of Caden Coleman, a transgender man who challenges societal norms and redefines what it means to be a father. Caden candidly shares his experiences growing up, including his struggles with gender identity, his mother's abuse, and his journey of self-acceptance. He recounts his transition, the challenges he faced in dating as a gay trans man, and his unexpected journey to becoming a father. Caden's story highlights the complexities of navigating societal expectations, the importance of self-love, and the power of embracing one's true identity. He also discusses the unique challenges of being a seahorse dad, a term used for trans masculine individuals who carry and birth their own children, and the pushback he received from both the trans community and society at large. Caden's story is a testament to resilience, self-acceptance, and the power of challenging societal norms.

Outlines

00:00:00

Introduction

This Chapter introduces the podcast "This is Actually Happening" and its focus on real experiences, often including traumatic events. It also mentions the six-part mini-series called "The 82%" which explores modern stories of love and family.

00:00:50

Caden Coleman's Story

This Chapter introduces Caden Coleman, the guest for this episode, and the theme of the episode: "What if you were a seahorse dad?" Caden shares his personal story, starting with his childhood and his experiences with his family, including his mother's abuse and his relationship with his father. He also discusses his journey of self-discovery, his struggles with gender identity, and his transition.

00:21:32

Caden's Transition and Self-Acceptance

This Chapter focuses on Caden's social transition and the impact it had on his life. He describes the challenges he faced in getting on testosterone and the sense of liberation he felt when he started presenting as male. Caden also discusses his journey of self-acceptance and how transitioning helped him embrace his femininity and find comfort in his own skin.

00:26:57

Caden's Housing Insecurity and Relationship with His Husband

This Chapter explores Caden's experiences with housing insecurity, which was often caused by his mother's actions. He also shares his relationship with his husband, who accepted him fully despite the challenges he faced as a trans man. Caden discusses his decision to get top surgery and his marriage to his husband.

00:28:24

Caden's Unexpected Pregnancy

This Chapter focuses on Caden's unexpected pregnancy. He describes the lack of symptoms, his initial disbelief, and the emotional rollercoaster he experienced upon realizing he was pregnant. Caden also discusses the societal and medical challenges he faced as a trans man navigating pregnancy.

00:35:48

Caden's Public Announcement and Pushback

This Chapter details Caden's decision to go public with his pregnancy and the mixed reactions he received. He discusses the pushback he faced from both the trans community and society at large, including being told he wasn't a real man and that he was an embarrassment to the community. Caden also explores the reasons behind this pushback and the importance of challenging societal norms.

00:46:54

Caden's Second Pregnancy and Postpartum Experiences

This Chapter focuses on Caden's second pregnancy and the challenges he faced, including navigating pregnancy during the COVID-19 pandemic and the lack of postpartum care. He also discusses the unique challenges of being a black trans man in maternal spaces and the importance of advocating for oneself. Caden shares his experiences with postpartum depression and the importance of seeking support.

Keywords

Q&A

• What is a seahorse dad?

  A seahorse dad is a trans masculine individual who carries and births their own children. The term is a metaphor based on the male seahorse, which carries and gives birth to the offspring. It is used to celebrate and acknowledge the unique experiences of trans masculine individuals who choose to parent in this way.

• What are some of the challenges Caden faced as a transgender man navigating pregnancy?

  Caden faced a number of challenges, including societal and medical biases. He was often misgendered and treated as if he didn't belong in maternal spaces. He also had to advocate for himself to receive the care he needed, and he experienced a lack of support from some members of the trans community.

• How did Caden's experiences with his mother impact his life?

  Caden's mother was abusive, and her actions led to him experiencing housing insecurity and feeling unloved. This had a lasting impact on his life, shaping his views on parenting and his desire to create a different kind of family dynamic for his own children.

• What is Caden's message to those who might be struggling with their gender identity?

  Caden's message is one of self-acceptance and embracing one's true identity. He encourages listeners to be kind to themselves and to seek support from others who understand their experiences. He also emphasizes the importance of challenging societal norms and creating a more inclusive world for all.

• How does Caden's story challenge traditional notions of family?

  Caden's story challenges traditional notions of family by demonstrating that love and family can take many different forms. He shows that a family can be created through choice, not just through biological ties. He also highlights the importance of embracing diversity and challenging societal expectations.

• What is the significance of Caden's decision to go public with his pregnancy?

  Caden's decision to go public with his pregnancy was a bold and courageous act. It challenged societal norms and helped to raise awareness about the experiences of transgender men who choose to parent. His story has inspired many others and helped to break down barriers for LGBTQIA+ families.

• What are some of the key takeaways from Caden's story?

  Caden's story highlights the importance of self-love, embracing one's true identity, and challenging societal norms. It also demonstrates the power of resilience, the importance of seeking support, and the beauty of diverse family structures.

• How does Caden's story relate to the theme of "The 82%"?

  Caden's story perfectly embodies the theme of "The 82%" by showcasing a modern family structure that challenges traditional norms. He is a transgender man who is a father, which is a unique and often overlooked experience. His story highlights the diversity of family structures and the importance of embracing all forms of love and family.

• What is the role of community in Caden's life?

  Community plays a vital role in Caden's life. He has found a strong online community that provides support and encouragement. He also emphasizes the importance of building real-life connections and finding people who understand and accept him for who he is.

• What is Caden's approach to dealing with trolls and negativity?

  Caden has developed a strong and resilient approach to dealing with trolls and negativity. He recognizes that their actions often stem from their own insecurities and chooses to focus on the positive aspects of his life. He also uses his platform to educate others and promote understanding and acceptance.

Show Notes