DiscoverCrime JunkieEXPERT ON: Domestic Violence
EXPERT ON: Domestic Violence

EXPERT ON: Domestic Violence

Update: 2018-10-0255
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Description

In our last episode, we talked about Susan Powell who was a victim of domestic violence. Many of her friends talked about Josh's strange behavior and the recalled things that should have been warning signs.

Today we talk to an expert on the topic, Ashley Bendiksen. She will tell us her story of survival, what signs to watch out for and how to safely leave a toxic relationship.

Ashley Bendiksen is an acclaimed survivor speaker and award-winning activist, speaking and training nationally on the topics of domestic violence, teen dating violence, sexual assault, and bystander intervention. She also delivers motivational keynotes on resilience and leadership. Passionate about helping others reshape and redesign their lives as she once did, Ashley also offers coaching and consulting services for victims and survivors, and life empowerment coaching for women.

Ashley’s professional background includes 11+ years as a speaker, a career spanning victim services, advocacy, and PR. She holds a B.S. in Administration of Justice, graduating as Valedictorian of her class - years after dropping out because of domestic violence. She also remains active on numerous boards and initiatives and serves as an Ambassador for several national organizations.

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Comments (14)

Kirstin S.

Yeah...what is it about strangulation? Ten years later, that's more or less the moment I realized I'd let a monster be in charge of my life since I was fourteen years old.

Sep 11th
Reply (2)

Laura Eaton

It took me ten years to leave my abuser. My children seen so much abuse and the day he started taking his anger out on my son is the day I had had enough. He could do what he want to me but he was not going to do it to my children. I remember the I told him I was leaving, I ended up on the ground with him chocking me and all I could do was pray to God that he let me go and all of a sudden he let go let me up and I took my three year old and ran to a neighbors house and got help. My four children and I went to a shelter and ended up coming back home to my family. I thank God every day that he heard my prayer. That was 14 yrs ago, I have been married to a wonderful man for 13 yrs now.

Jul 9th
Reply

Marisela Barajas

I was married to a man that physically & mentally abused me. jealousy, telling me my friends were a bad influence so I had to drop my friends. 23 yrs of that and I had finally found my strength to say I haf enough & divorced him. It was not an easy break. It was very ugly. He's a narcissistic man. No one knew how he really was because our friends & famiky thought he was great. That was the side they knew. I knew both sides good & bad. It was the good side & our kids that kept me with him for so long. I'm happy now without him.

Jul 8th
Reply (1)

Sabrina Pacella

verbal abuse could be your partner constantly criticizing you and putting you down then?

Jul 8th
Reply

Timothy Drummond

Look into what a narcissist is. Love bombing and then manipulating.

Jun 22nd
Reply (1)

Sapphire Perez

Been down this road as well. These things are SO important and much needed. Hopeful helpful to listeners: 1. Support the victim by listening. eliminate saying "If I were you I would..." you dont know the victims 24/7 and it can be damaging. TRUST their intuition. if They admit they are scared they've probably endured a lot by the time they say this out loud. keep that in mind. 2. Educate yourself about DV laws for your State, signs about DV, terms and HOW to be an advocate. You'll be ready when the victim comes to you. 3. ASK the victim what she would like YOU to do. They know their abuser the best and WHAT triggers the abuser! if you do something and you dont know the triggers, you could potentially put the victim in harms way and potentially risk their life. 4. DOCUMENT! If you can write down, take pictures etc for the victim so they have evidence for court/police this will help them tremendously for their future and to (if they are ready) reassure them that it really is bad. My friend did this for me and it was a life saver. 5. SAFETY PLAN-help prepare a SAFETY PLAN for them. Where will the victim go? The children? etc. pack something the abuser wouldnt know for an emergency escape. there are helpful SAFETY plans online. KEEP any papers or documents or signs of leaving AWAY from the victims home. This will escalate the abuser and the abusers ally!!!

May 30th
Reply

Alissa Maxwell

Great information. Very relatable scenarios. I consider myself super lucky to have gotten out when it was just the early warning signs.

Apr 23rd
Reply

Traci Wilhelm

I am a survivor and I can tell you everything she is saying is true. This is such an important issue.

Oct 4th
Reply

Traci Wilhelm

I have seen this on investigation ID and so much more information is given here... I am totally stunned about how stupid the 911 operator was... just hope he was relieved of his position

Oct 4th
Reply

Mary Canafax

I've been down this road, in a far with far worse circumstances. I am so thankful for the friends and family that stayed by my side and kept encouraging me to get out not just for me but for my unborn son. It took me almost two years before I finally got the courage to leave and super thankful for my friend who knew what was going on and when I quit answering my phone he showed up in my apartment so I could call the police. He spent less than 24 hours in jail but karma got even 3 years later when he got thrown in prison for rape. I've seen the signs in a few of my friends relationships and thankfully they saw the signs shortly after being with them and left. Thank you so much for this episode and there needs to be knowledge available for (possible) victims in this situation. ❤️

Oct 2nd
Reply
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EXPERT ON: Domestic Violence

EXPERT ON: Domestic Violence

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