64 - WE MUST GIVE PRAISE
The president of the School Board confronts critics of the school district's five-year strategic plan. Plus, the hunt for two fugitives, some fun events on the community calendar, and a look at financial news.
Weather: 'True Trans Soul Rebel' by Against Me! (againstme.net)
Music: Disparition, disparition.info
Logo: Rob Wilson, robwilsonwork.com.
Following script is auto-generated by Speech to Text Technology:
hi its me a voice this is an episode from the Welcome to Night Vale Park along with our podcast Welcome to Night Vale is also a live show that tours around the world we could very well be coming to your these live shows are full length stand alone stories that you won't hear on any of our podcasts to see where we are going these days head over to welcome tonight felt dot com so much nice hill to enjoy beyond just the podcast go to welcomes night failed dot com and click on What's New or shows or store books there are lots of links with lots of things to learn hey thanks don't judge a book by its cover judge it by the harmful messages it contains well go tonight The The The The The The The The The enormous glowing cloud that serves as president of the Night Vale School Board announced a five year strategic plan for the school district the plan put together over the past year by the twelve member board lays out new curriculum goals organizational restructuring and a comprehensive outline for eternal Pena tents before the mighty glow cloud everyone present at the press conference fell to their knees and praised the glow cloud their allies solid white gray smoky wisps swirling from their chanting Mallards hands clapping loudly in unison as miniature glowing colorful clouds swept about them children are our future low clouds said we must give praise to give our give our whole to the child of the glowing cloud to the side on of in corp or old Harry hold Harry whole year the crowd chanted along in worship of the glue clouds child who is currently a freshman at Niceville High School the young cloud is an active member of both Show Choir and the speechless debate team their education has long been part of the adult low clouds leadership in the education community the share of secret police in conjunction with several vague yet menacing government agencies are calling on all citizens to be on the lookout for two fugitives both hiring McDaniels and the faceless woman who secretly leaves in your home are wanted by authorities for their recent attempts to usurp mayoral control of Night Vale Hyrum is described as literally a five headed dragon he is eighteen feet all these heads are colored blue green gold grey and purple they each have their own personality sentence memory and distinct markings and features a gray had often feels blue and wears a green nose ray to Blu had considers logic the gold standard of intellect and has purple eyes the gold head is actually more of a stable and will talk to his blue in the face purple head has grown great with paranoid fantasies and wears a gold neck chain that has a pendant with the word Violet written in green gemstones and the Green had is the real Saudi one that wants to set everyone on fire Paul taught the secret police are also on the hunt for the faceless old woman whom they described as an elderly female without a face although no one has ever actually seen her so we're all just guessing but you'll know your knew her if you're at home particularly if your home alone and it's dark and you think you hear briefing and creaking steps in another room under no circumstances should you look don't look you will not at all like what you've seen The Secret Police said there is a reward for information leading to the arrest of either of these fugitives that reward is a gift card to Pier One a lifetime of gratitude and a couple of handwritten coupons for things like washing the dishes or a ten minute back rub of a couple of listeners have asked how my boyfriend Carlos is doing a He's still working on lots of interesting science projects in that desert other world it's been almost a year sense I last saw him in person I miss him alot and we did hear back from station management about getting vacation time so I can go visit him it's nearly impossible to get approved for vacation and even if you do you never know when or how you will find out that most businesses you just file some simple paperwork or ask your direct supervisor and after a few days they have someone from Human Resources hide in the backseat of your car and when you're halfway home they grab your face from behind cover your eyes with one hand and mouth with the other and shout your vacation has been approved congratulations and then in your excitement you take them out for ice cream but not in community radio you can wait weeks or months to hear back in the meantime though I've been taking up watercolors again and I did something I've never done for anyone else I've ever been with I painted a picture of Carlos D's in profile looking across his desert of the world he's wearing his coral Lagerfeld designed lab coat and there's a quarter size be shown for say atop a dune behind him and it might be the best painting I've ever made I had long given up this old hobby and lately I've grown so Oh I don't know out of touch lost disconnected I just needed something to occupy my time anyway I hung it above my desk near the window and I tell you it really gets me through the days seeing my pastel Carlos in his brush swept other world paradise let's take a look now at the Community Calendar Thursday night dark owl Records will be holding an open mike or anyone who promises not to play any music or perform any poetry or comedy or produce any kind of art at all dark owner Michelle Lind says she hopes to not have to listen to or see any more art for as long as she lifts which she sure will be for a really long time it's taking for EV err err err this lie even when said before inserting an AOL free internet for thirty days disc into her antique CD player this is the only thing I can listen to anymore when at it Friday morning the Society for a blood space war will be traveling back in time and eliminating several future enemies before they gain the training and grow powerful according to the group's press kit Friday is the official day of the event but since they'll be traveling back in time it's kind of moot because they've already done it it's just that they recently hired a new PR manager and he's being all like you can't announce an event without a date anyway they'll have preemptively assassinated all future enemy leaders by Friday morning well this certainly explains the people in space suits who broke into our break room here at the station last week and started a laser knife battle with two folks from finance and our new intern and a ref who it turns out had some pretty sick laser knife fighting skills the finance folks went down easy but Hannah managed to fight two of her attackers off before the three remaining intruders grabbed her and jumped on sacrificial mass into the temporary black hole they had created near the coffee maker thus ending his future reign of space terror to the family of intern Hannah she was a very good in turn very focused and always a friendly presence here in the office she was also a future warlord in the blood space war but you couldn't have known that only Hannah could have she will be next Saturday afternoon on the Great lawn is the onli fair sponsored by the last bank of night fail there will be some how t clowns in different too simplistic balloon shapes of dogs there will be local merchants and artisans standing hopelessly in small blocks where they should be setting up booths to showcase their wares but can't bring themselves to do so because they've lost the thread not just of the fair but of their careers and lives organizers say they expect cold rain that day so you should do and in their press release just trails off Sunday all day is the first annual Ultimate frisbee tournaments at the softball and field hockey grounds which were discovered last fall by archaeologists over near the Olive Garden in the problematic birds district the archaeologists determined this ancient site was built over four years ago by natives of this town who enjoyed outdoor activities like amateur softball and field hockey Tuesday afternoon is a pretty decent classic rock saw it has just been reported to me that the night failed PTA is upset about the strategic plan created by the night fail school board to Gordon Marino president of the PTA issued a statement criticizing the school board for not consulting parents and teachers when crafting these changes joined by Treasurer Diane Creighton whose son Josh is a ninth grader and VHS and secretary Steve Carlsberg whose stepdaughter Janice is in second grade Moreno said the school board once again showed its lack of care for parental input into the education and development of its students' parents voices must be heard to re know shouted from atop the statue of the immortal film actor Lee Marvin A sitting on Marvin shoulders legs dangling like a denim wrapped flesh scarf from the bronze sculptures muscular neck merino cold for more transparency in education planning a re know then clinched his teeth and lips and eyes as he kicked his legs back and forth in a groaning full body tantrum let's take a look at financial news two thousand nine hundred twenty one is a number which is up from many other numbers definitely up so you should get really excited or perhaps really upset over this also the following words prime debt capital offer aid and portfolio to write those down and learn what they mean do not remember anything that you learn but seek the memory of what you learned in my dream here's another number nine point eight billion that's a very large number one of the largest numbers loosen your drawl and breathe in slowly through your nose when you hear a number like that nine point eight billion that's billion with two L's wow this has been financial news John Peters you know the farmer called today to say he noticed that Frank Chen has returned to town some of you recall that Frank went missing while back and a little over two years ago his body was found by four kids who followed a railroad track Chen's body was covered in extensive Paul marks and burns most likely caused according to the coroner's report by a large dragon anyway John said he's seen Frank driving around town in his pickup truck doing some freelance construction work with a focus on carpentry and restoration just like he always did when he was alive John said Frank looks good he's real tall now and rotund John said from atop a telephone pole where he Jimmy Tupper phone directly into the active lines got a tail and a bunch of colorful heads now also got one of them cross over two boxes in a class for adjustable hits for his truck John said sounding impressed guests death isn't the end John added We all have to live on in some way maybe it's in the legacy we leave for the memories other people keep a bus or the feel and they have when they hear our or stolen identities taken by someone still alive or just actual physical immortality it's all a shame whatever it is such a day M Shea everything is out till you and then there was a loud buzz and a static ey pop and the dial tone and then a different voice said You can hang up the phone now Cecil and I said okay lazy behind we've just received word that the school board has rejected the PT A's request for more transparency in long term strategic planning the president of the school board and enormous glowing cloud sighted school district code twenty five point three B dash to which states all he all hail the mighty glow Clough you are weak you are not failing you must download our give praise to the glow Clough as well as code seventeen point two eight which explicitly defines the powers of the school board president as all nip it at all him all strapped for us he said and that's exactly what it says it even has that reverb effect when you read it PTA president for a no knowing he had very little leverage in his request for power of legislative review I decided to change his strategy in to a request for forgiveness from the angry pulsing cloud animals began falling from the sky with heavy thumps and splashes and splashes the Great lawn has grown dark with carcasses and shadows as PTA officers run in search of cover I've heard from my friend Diane Creighton that she huddled underneath the Lee Marvin statue and that the lifelike bronze form of our nation's greatest living actor has done a tremendous job of blocking the various black bears and nurse sharks and ostriches falling so violently to are the low cloud has spread wide across the sky blocking out important things like spy satellites and helicopters as well as unimportant things like the moon and the illusions of mountains near the horizon from right here in the studio I can see that darkness spreading it looks like this is as good a time as any to take you to the weather was that the what the was that the the the school board and the PTA have reached a compromise that the DA's earlier grievance that long term curriculum and school district planning lacked transparency has been heard and while the low cloud in the school board could not offer complete openness and inclusion in all school district decisions for the PTA they could offer to stop dropping dead animals on everyone if the PTA never mention transparency or questioned authority again a PTA president Marino agreed to these terms panting yeah oh yeah short never again please just let us be please then he breathlessly repeated all hail all hail all hail as the residue of some fall in Beast dripped slowly off his swollen face and onto his torn shirt Diane Creighton safe beneath the Lee Marvin statue cost perhaps a PTA liaison on the school board would be but Moreno jumped in no no liaison we're fine and I and we must give praise and die and didn't say a word but she said a lot Ray noted not acknowledge the look in Diane's eyes Steve Kohls bird then added No I don't know it doesn't matter I'm sure he added something Steve always done is I hope you are all safe dear listeners I hope you were all okay I know I am safe sadly though I am not okay the following animal carcasses collapsed a small section of the outer wall around a radio station no one was injured but it was the wall where my desk was my new painting it's been so long on it I mean I can replace it but it's just that it's just that it brought me such happiness such a reason to get up such little joys like it's not hard to find images of Carlos we have science with its phones and screens and psychic projections and at that picture art creation destroyed I mean I can paint another I can I can just paint another it'll be fine just excuse to do some fine painting I'm glad we're all okay Diane's okay even Steve I'm glad he's okay too I can just pay the fine everything's fine stay tuned next for the quiz show Ask Me Another but all never talk you fiend I'll never talk it's our most popular program and is always night and failed at night I look into that Bell is a production of commonplace books it is written by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Kramer and prettiest by Joseph and the voice of Night Vale The Cecil Baldwin original music by disperse and all of it can be found at dispersion dot info or at disposition got band camp dot com This episodes weather was True trans Soul rebel by Against Me find out more against me dot net comments questions email us at info at Welcome to Night Vale dot com or follow us on Twitter at night a radio check out Welcome to Night Vale dot com for more information on the show as well as all sorts of cool night feel stuff you can own and while you're there consider clicking the donate link at the cool of you today's proverb Don't bring a gun to a knife fight don't bring a knife to a knife fight either stop going to knife fights all together what's your deal with my face