#683 - TOM SEGURA

Update: 2024-09-17

Digest

The episode kicks off with a lively introduction, featuring music and a shout-out to the audience. Tony welcomes Tom Segura, a regular guest on the show, and introduces the concept of the "bucket pool" where audience members are randomly selected for a 60-second uninterrupted set. The first comedian to take the stage is Ari Marie, an Estonian comedian, who delivers a hilarious set about her experiences in America, particularly in Seattle and Texas. She contrasts the vibes of the two cities and expresses her love for Texas's patriotic energy. Her set is so impressive that the "angry West Hollywood bear" is afraid to interrupt her. Next up is Tray Campbell, a recent transplant to Austin, who shares his observations about the city, including a humorous story about a bumper sticker he saw. He also talks about his upcoming wedding and his fiancée, Lindsay. Lindsay Tiree, Tray Campbell's fiancée, takes the stage for her first time on the show. She delivers a quirky and funny set about her life, including her work at an assisted living facility and her love for cupcakes. The episode features advertisements for Talkspace and ExpressVPN, highlighting the accessibility, affordability, and convenience of their services. Chris Martinez, also known as "Grinch," delivers a stand-up set that is described as "unbelievably terrible" by Tony. He attempts an Alex Jones impression and shares some personal anecdotes about his life. Drew Nickis, a comedian who has previously won a "golden ticket" on the show, performs a new set. He talks about his experiences with mental health facilities and shares a humorous story about dating a woman with multiple personalities. Drew recounts his first kiss with a girl, which happened in the back of her PT Cruiser. They went to Terry Blacks for dinner, where the girl's dislike for banana pudding raised a red flag. Roman Schmitt, a 22-year-old stand-up comedian, shares his experiences with being called a "faggot" by homeless people in Austin. He discusses his Catholic upbringing and his first real experience with homelessness. Roman reveals his darker side, admitting to sometimes getting annoyed by homeless people calling him a "faggot" and even resorting to aggressive thoughts. He discusses his dating life and his tendency to criticize profiles on dating apps. Cam Patterson, a regular on the show, shares his experiences with auditions and the struggles of being a black comedian in Hollywood. He talks about his manager's insistence on him sending in tapes and his frustration with the process. Mike Ivy, a comedian from the Midwest, shares a story about his friend who moved from Compton to Iowa and then back to Compton to fight the Bloods. He also talks about his love for Chick-fil-A and his desire to tempt the faithful by opening one on a Sunday. Patrick Cassaday, a 51-year-old comedian, shares his story of starting stand-up comedy after his father passed away. He reveals that his father had a stroke after receiving the vaccine and made him promise to do stand-up comedy in Austin. Scotty Heim, a comedian from the Quad Cities, shares his experience of going to a gay bar in Austin. He talks about dancing in a circle and ending the night in a hotel room with his best friend. The episode starts with a discussion about Scotty Heim's recent experience at a gay bar. Scotty describes his first time at a gay bar and his impression of the atmosphere. The conversation then shifts to Scotty's dancing skills and his "gay mime routine." Scotty reveals that he works in sales for Coca-Cola. The hosts express surprise at his location in Iowa and question his reasons for staying there. Scotty explains that he was born and raised in Iowa and enjoys the simple life. The hosts inquire about Scotty's past head injuries, leading to a humorous exchange about his experiences with a baseball bat and a four-wheeling accident. Scotty attempts to tell a joke, but it falls flat, prompting the hosts to encourage him to improve his comedic timing. The episode introduces Pat Batista, a stand-up comedian who has been performing for 10 years. Pat shares his experiences in the comedy scene, including his time at the Comedy Store in Los Angeles. He reveals that he has performed on Kill Tony three times and discusses his struggles with weed before his sets. Pat talks about his family background and his mother's passing. The hosts engage in a humorous exchange about Pat's Filipino heritage and his comedic style. Pat shares his insights on the importance of waiting until after a set to smoke weed and the challenges of dealing with pressure and nerves. The hosts challenge Pat to perform his best joke ever, with the promise of a spot on the Secret Show if it goes well. Pat delivers a joke about his long toes and his experience with tax season, which receives a mixed reaction from the audience. The episode welcomes back William Montgomery, a Kill Tony Hall of Famer, who is known for his energetic and often controversial performances. William makes a series of outrageous statements, including a comment about Lizzo's weight loss, which elicits cheers and applause from the audience. The hosts discuss William's past drug use, particularly his experiences with cocaine and vodka. William admits to being a "wild boy" in his younger days and shares anecdotes about his time at the Comedy Store. William talks about his comedy career and his plans to take a break from the road. He reveals that he has been making a significant amount of money from Cameo and discusses his frugal spending habits. William explains his preference for sitting at the back of the plane, where he can enjoy the "carnage" unfolding in front of him. The episode concludes with William's signature style of humor and a final message to the audience to have fun.

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