70A - Taking Off
It's the first broadcast of a new radio station in a desert otherworld. Plus, a huge research project reaches its conclusion.
The voice of Kevin is Kevin R. Free.
The voice of Carlos is Dylan Marron.
Weather: 'Pyramid' by Jason Webley (jasonwebley.com).
Music: Disparition, disparition.info and Joseph Fink.
Logo: Soren Melville.
Following script is auto-generated by Speech to Text Technology:
this is an archived episode of Welcome to Night Vale you are you I hope this information helped clarify things for you if you've been enjoying these archived episodes of Knight fail we hope you'll consider becoming one of our donors we genuinely depend on our monthly donors to be able to keep making the show as a thank you we provide all sorts of cool benefits like exclusive member episodes of Knight fail and personalized audio thing cues from our narrator Cecil Baldwin had to welcome tonight Phil dot com to learn more and there are many more things we do hit us up welcome to the cause of the Kali they're pretty self explanatory what's new shows store books you'll get a hang of it you've used a website before and hey thanks we all have to start somewhere we all have to end somewhere too but let's concentrate on the other thing welcome to well uhm welcome to a desert other world the the the the the the the we come up with a better name for this place names are after all extremely important hi I'm your radio host Kevin I'm speaking to you from our brand new station and this is our inaugural broadcast I'm so excited to be back on the air I'm not sure we have any listeners yet but we will need later in the show will be talking to dog and deletion leaders of the army of masked Giants who roam this desert and you have been instrumental in building our new city has been so welcoming to us outsiders not all outsiders though they are after all of violating the territorial Army but some outsiders people like me and like my friend Carla whose he's a scientist's he's a beautiful man who does beautiful things I have Carlos on the phone with us right now with some breaking news Carlos tell everyone about the huge project you've been working on this past year I think having me on the show first off does unleash are here in my kitchen she built a refrigerator from some had twine and three different kinds of birds and now they're making a bunch of pasta salad for lunch this week to save some for you if you'd like how delightful I'm totally disgusted by path to sow and can't stand the taste or the smell in fact to look and it causes me to heave it but thank you so Kai seemed right so this new experiment and I have to tell you I am really excited about it you know how our cell phones always work in this desert other world even though there are no towers and how they never seem to run out of battery yes I love taking these facts for granted well on the verge of uncovering what's causing that here in my laboratory which Duggan a leash and one of the other soldiers whose name is the the for me I've been hard at work piecing about in front of a row of conical flask sneakers and white tubes furiously writing Greek letters and Arabic numbers and I think later today I will make an enormous breakthrough what did you find out I can say Yes I'm just waiting on my computer to finish calculating everything okay I don't know a leash and dog look really agitated they're jumping up and down by the window the other giant soldiers are running into formation outside I need to see what's wrong while Carlos checks on our favorite soldiers let's give an update now on the roller coaster inhabitants I'm referring to the roller coaster Doug and the leash a bill for our new town months ago it looks terribly fun it has a tall first hill and on ninety degree drop off that is almost six hundred feet I'm told and then goes into a series of loops and turns and figure eights and then some spirals with the writers go upside down several times per second and then there's a sheet of flames as you approach it looks like you're about to go right through the fire but the last second that tracks spirals a GED and you go through the fire upside down old oh anyway it's an exciting looking ride I haven't been on it yet that's because after they started it on its first trip they have been able to stop it they didn't invent breaks so that's an issue even though they cut the power to the ride it's still going with the same passengers caught in an interminable cycle of wine oh we have Carl speck on the line again Carlo has been a leash are gone it turns out that the commotion was over another army marching along the horizon Dugan Alicia ran screaming around the house and through the kitchen overturning my cutting board and grabbing their weapons Lisa took my chef's knife and Doug made a makeshift slaw corn out of one of my large funnel so that he could call their army to action good for them for being our community know what I was trying to explain that the other army was marching perpendicular to us they were not marching towards us this desert is filled with small armies always marching in different directions we can't attack them all for no reason and now my kitchen counter is demolished who will grow back so I was so excited to learn more about your research into the strange properties of his region I think you once called this desert other world the most scientifically interesting community in the U S Well you know my exact words were No we do expect the results don't think whenever you come up with could possibly be a monumental shift in how we perceive thermodynamics was well I'm at my lab right now hunched over my computer waiting for it to complete its final report then comparing its results to my thousands of handwritten notes from the past year I believe I can pinpoint the exact source of this desert energy it shouldn't be long please don't rush me great let us know soon well Carlos does that perhaps I can tell you all a little bit about our new radio station take you on an audio tour if you know we have a tall broadcast tower made of stones and Doty those zig zag electrical bolts busily shooting outward from the top of the tower those are actual radio waves inside the building itself we have a small broadcast booth with a couple of new money takes some of the members of the massed army of giants helped me decorate my studio too it was so empty and bloodless before it required a lot of lizards and rodents but it's finally starting to feel like home I've got a producer's just off to my right eye can see my old interred the saying and as some I were a bit understaffed so Vanessa has been having to act as my producer as well as Head of Sales and Marketing and even answering phones good thing she has a doppelganger to help out most people kill their double play that such a waste of opportunity the more the merrier the more productive I say oh we're hiring right now if you have experience in any of the following areas ad sales graphic design office management entomology for Tran programming Falcon re or sports law please send your resume to radio station care of Kevin we have no postal service in the desert other world nor any mailboxes so it's important that you carefully re read The Secret by Rhonda Byrne in order to wish your resume into my office sounds like Carlos is back on the line did you get the results from your dog on a leash are back good so wonderful to have dear friends around to be a part of your brilliant achievements yup they are in no condition to celebrate the great strides scientific study right now most of the army returned from fighting but there are more than a dozen who did not only show I lost two fingers and dug his bleeding quite badly because of a compound fracture in his forearm everyone who returned isn't treatable condition I believe he'll be fine but their wounded and need lots of rest and no more fighting a long time it's a mess over here good thing they have such a good and helpful friends in new snow tell us about your study of the strange energy here in the desert I can't yet the army came in so quickly dropping their weapons everywhere with some detached limbs that I don't even think belong to them and all of my journals which I had left out and open on my desk and been rendered unusable there are broken beaker is in blood soaked composition notebooks everywhere I don't even know where to begin cleaning up all of this blood I'm sorry did you say something new the just like your story carry on the back Kevin I have to go Doug just constructed a makeshift splint out of rocks and snakes he just grabbed his axe and ran out the backdoor oh and there goes a leash or stop going to war the clay back in the camp go on like this listeners I'm getting of strong winds out of the East stirring up dust Devils and hurling plant debris and weak willed animals through the air this is a rare sun less days before our other world desert while Carlos tries to get his notes on bloodied let's have a closer look at the weather from the The The The The The The The The The The but this coming one she the the you know the the jist were The The The The The The The ah the statue in mm does the shadow of the Who was it the ways she View you I know that hell am I went and what the two hit the bottom the um the with the zeal of some of that scandal last say the the the story the black and we turn the page the the the the God the God that I got from the bottom that the the that is the the the and the bad news for the baby the the the the mood says the candidate the the the can wow told that weather report was in for M I had no idea how dangerous a storm that was until I heard that report to be a radio broadcaster who gets to tell stories about things that make us unhappy thrills me to my bones because by telling people about all they can make us unhappy I prepare them to truly enjoy those happy moments when they come once my hometown of desert Bluffs had a deadly outbreak of spiders hundreds were diagnosed with this usually treatable disease but it was a particularly virulent strain and many people died or were left without voices and lower jaws when it was all over almost a day wouldn't go by where you didn't hear a fit of strenuous coughing punctuated by a muffled pop only to turn around and see a Cascade of tiny spiders pouring over the craggy ledge use to be a person's lower teeth each day I got to report these upsetting stories but the best part about it was when does the Bluffs residents eventually stopped losing part of their faces to throat spiders and we all rejoiced in our newly healthy and happy lives as the saying goes it's always good on the moon and speaking of sunshine Carlos just arrived here live in the studio with you Carlos did you go out whether you're covered in dust and those are quite friction burns in the shape of lab goggles on your face k deductible we should make it back not yet they What is this all over your studio is that barbecue sauce I just love em some old bones and loose teas and be and things I finally decorated thanks for noticing and ah I just notice you have a piece of paper in your hand must be your final report look at how we both notice things about each of their low that I I um well you sound sad which is great news because it means you'll be happy again eventually it's a tough day what with all the weather and the wars apply to your boyfriend will soon be moving from Night Vale to come live here with you well about that and and you finally have the scientific result of your hard scientific work I don't I don't have results Kevin when the army marched out again I went back to trying to recover my notes I had just gotten the lab desktop screen when the leashes large dog bounded through the lab and out the front door sending every glass to binge or crashing onto the floor when I bend over to see the damage I saw my computer there too just on the tile snapped nearly in half a tuft of white fur covering the keyboard singed slightly by the smoke streaking out of the broken monitor I lost it all come an entire year of study is gone what's the paper then did you at least learn some of your results this is nothing that some just a letter I wrote to a friend oh i love letters letters are so fun to receive not this one it's a sad letter a letter about regrets about mistakes you know how sometimes you spend a lot of time with someone and you think that someone makes you happy but then suddenly one day you realize maybe weren't happy at all maybe you both would be better off doing what you love in different places without each other maybe neither of you as happy as either of you thought that his sad sounding letter I don't understand or like that at all I have spent the last year all wrong I believe in you Carlos don't let destruction blood and war hold you back you're a brilliant scientist I realize and to just start everything over re dedicate myself I need to do it right this time no more distractions can spend another year like this one so it pains me to carry this letter but I rode it to set my boundaries so you know there's no postal service here yet I know that's why I am hand delivering oh remember no one should ever be sad choose not to be sad Carlos in fact choose to be happy perhaps your letter is the first step to choosing happiness even while it makes someone else sad I understand listen I should go and headed to nine Vail one final time I need to talk to cease all about home about some changes thanks for everthing haven't been so kind to me in this difficult year by Carlos well it's a shame huge scientific breakthrough didn't quite happen today as the old phrase goes The best laid plans of mice and men are completely different kinds of plans altogether very different creatures those too but it's not a total wash our next show should feature spine tingling adventure stories about today's desert battle we have so much to do us so much to explore and understand so much to make here in our great desert other world say really do me for this place things without names don't really exist so I'm going to call this how I'm going to call it desert Bluffs are blessed with the name of my home town and buy maybe you desert loves this place becomes my new hometown we are in my home we are in desert Bluffs no matter where we are in space or time what is a town but gay rights until next time nude as it looks like Carlos left behind that letter he was supposed to hand deliver better not read the No better not until next time you desert Bluffs until next time oh no this who said that no I don't like this set welcome to Desert Glass is a production of commonplace books it is written by Joseph ink and Jeffrey trainer and produced by Joseph and the voice of Kevin was Kevin R Free the voice of Carlos was Dylan Marin original music by discretion and Joseph ng so they can be found at desperation dot info or desperation Band Camp dot com This episodes weather was pyramid by Jason Webb Lee find out more at Jason Wesley dot com and see him play live in the UK and Ireland with the Welcome to Night Vale touring live show comments questions email us at info at Welcome to Night Vale dot com or follow us on Twitter at night Del Rio ticker Welcome to Night Vale dot com for more information on the show as well as all sorts of cool might feel stuff you can own and while you're there consider throwing money at the computer screen that be cool with you today's proverb A Rose By Any is called something else