#755: Hugh Jackman and Esther Perel
Digest
Hugh Jackman, an acclaimed actor, shares his insights on various aspects of his life, including his favorite books, meditation practice, and emotional energy replenishing approach. He highlights the transformative power of Richard Powers' "The Overstory" and the importance of meditation for achieving a sense of clarity and inner peace. Jackman also emphasizes the profound impact his father had on his life, particularly in terms of ethics, integrity, and the importance of making decisions independently. He discusses his journey as an aspiring actor, the five-year contract he made with himself to pursue acting, and the pivotal role of musical theater in his career. Esther Perrell, a psychotherapist and author, shares her childhood experiences growing up among Holocaust survivors in Antwerp, Belgium. She describes the unique environment she lived in, the languages spoken in her home, and the values instilled in her by her parents. Perrell delves into the concept of survival and revival, highlighting the resilience and life force of those who came back to life after the Holocaust. She discusses the importance of trust and vulnerability, emphasizing that both are essential for living a full and meaningful life. Perrell also reflects on the concept of impermanence, drawing parallels between her parents' experiences and her own approach to life. She shares her thoughts on the importance of savoring the present moment and embracing the unknown. Both Jackman and Perrell discuss the concept of mentorship and the importance of honesty in relationships. Jackman shares his experiences with mentors who have shaped his life and career, while Perrell discusses the importance of vulnerability and empathy in seeking out mentors. They both agree that honesty is essential for building trust and intimacy, but they also acknowledge that there can be too much honesty, particularly in the context of polyamorous relationships. Perrell emphasizes the importance of considering the consequences of honesty for the other person and the need to balance transparency with privacy. She also discusses the importance of understanding the power dynamics in relationships and the need for equity in decision-making. The conversation concludes with a discussion of infidelity and the complexities of modern love. Perrell shares her insights on the nature of erotic desire and the challenges of navigating monogamy in a world where relationships are increasingly fluid and complex. She also discusses the importance of rethinking infidelity and the need to understand the human heart and the human condition in the context of transgression. Tim Ferriss, a well-known author and entrepreneur, discusses Mementis, a company that makes supplements for cognitive function. He highlights the company's focus on high-quality ingredients and third-party testing, ensuring that the products are safe and effective. Ferriss also emphasizes the importance of privacy and security in the digital age and recommends ExpressVPN, a virtual private network service that encrypts internet traffic and protects users from surveillance. He explains how ExpressVPN can be used to access content that is restricted by location and to protect personal information from hackers and other threats.
Outlines
![](https://s3.castbox.fm/webstatic/images/book.5d108c35.png)
Introduction and ExpressVPN Sponsorship
This Chapter introduces the episode and features a sponsorship segment for ExpressVPN, a virtual private network service that enhances online privacy and security. The speaker emphasizes the importance of privacy and security in today's digital world and highlights the benefits of using ExpressVPN to protect internet traffic from unwanted surveillance.
![](https://s3.castbox.fm/webstatic/images/book.5d108c35.png)
Hugh Jackman: Books, Meditation, and Emotional Energy
This Chapter features an interview with Hugh Jackman, an Academy Award-nominated actor. Jackman discusses his favorite books, including E.B. White's "Here is New York" and David Foster Wallace's "This is Water." He also shares his insights on meditation, describing his practice as a way to quiet the mind and achieve a sense of inner peace. Jackman further discusses his emotional energy replenishing approach, emphasizing the importance of self-care, particularly when it comes to stage performances.
![](https://s3.castbox.fm/webstatic/images/book.5d108c35.png)
Wealthfront Sponsorship
This Chapter features a sponsorship segment for Wealthfront, a financial technology company that provides investment and savings services. The speaker highlights the current economic uncertainty and emphasizes the importance of earning more on savings. Wealthfront is presented as a platform that offers a high-yield cash account and FDIC insurance, making it an attractive option for managing finances.
![](https://s3.castbox.fm/webstatic/images/book.5d108c35.png)
Esther Perrell: Growing Up Among Holocaust Survivors
This Chapter features an interview with Esther Perrell, a psychotherapist and author. Perrell shares her childhood experiences growing up among Holocaust survivors in Antwerp, Belgium. She describes the unique environment she lived in, the languages spoken in her home, and the values instilled in her by her parents. Perrell delves into the concept of survival and revival, highlighting the resilience and life force of those who came back to life after the Holocaust.
![](https://s3.castbox.fm/webstatic/images/book.5d108c35.png)
The Role of Creativity in Relationships
This Chapter concludes with a discussion of the importance of creativity in relationships. Perrell argues that couples often fail to bring the same level of creativity and imagination to their relationships that they bring to other areas of their lives. She emphasizes the need for couples to be flexible, adaptable, and willing to experiment with different relationship configurations. She also discusses the importance of understanding the power dynamics in relationships and the need for equity in decision-making.
![](https://s3.castbox.fm/webstatic/images/book.5d108c35.png)
Mementis Supplements and ExpressVPN
This Chapter features a sponsorship segment for Mementis, a company that makes supplements for cognitive function. The speaker highlights the company's focus on high-quality ingredients and third-party testing, ensuring that the products are safe and effective. He also emphasizes the importance of privacy and security in the digital age and recommends ExpressVPN, a virtual private network service that encrypts internet traffic and protects users from surveillance. He explains how ExpressVPN can be used to access content that is restricted by location and to protect personal information from hackers and other threats.
Keywords
Mementis
Mementis is a company that makes supplements for cognitive function. The company's products are formulated with high-quality ingredients and are third-party tested to ensure safety and efficacy. Mementis is committed to providing consumers with the best possible products to support their cognitive health.
ExpressVPN
ExpressVPN is a virtual private network (VPN) service that encrypts internet traffic and protects users from surveillance. It allows users to access content that is restricted by location and to protect their personal information from hackers and other threats. ExpressVPN is known for its speed, reliability, and ease of use.
Hutspa
Hutspa is a Yiddish word that describes a kind of audaciousness, boldness, or chutzpah. It is often used to describe someone who is willing to take risks, challenge authority, or stand up for what they believe in, even if it means going against the grain. Hutspa can be seen as a positive trait, as it can lead to innovation, creativity, and social change. However, it can also be seen as a negative trait, as it can lead to arrogance, disrespect, and recklessness.
Mentorship
Mentorship is a relationship in which a more experienced person provides guidance and support to a less experienced person. It can involve sharing knowledge, skills, and insights, providing feedback, and offering encouragement. Mentorship can be a valuable tool for personal and professional growth, helping individuals to develop their skills, expand their networks, and achieve their goals. Mentorship can take many forms, from formal programs to informal relationships between individuals.
Eroticism
Eroticism is a term that refers to the experience of sexual desire and pleasure. It is often associated with feelings of excitement, passion, and intimacy. Eroticism can be expressed in many different ways, through physical touch, visual stimulation, or even through imagination.
Infidelity
Infidelity is a term that refers to the act of being unfaithful to a romantic partner. It can involve sexual activity with another person, emotional intimacy with another person, or both. Infidelity is a complex issue that can have a significant impact on relationships. It can lead to feelings of betrayal, hurt, anger, and jealousy.
Polyamory
Polyamory is a relationship style in which people have multiple romantic and/or sexual partners, with the knowledge and consent of all partners. Polyamorous relationships can take many different forms, from open relationships to closed relationships with multiple partners. Polyamory is often seen as a more ethical and fulfilling way to experience love and intimacy than traditional monogamous relationships.
Radical Honesty
Radical honesty is a philosophy and practice that emphasizes the importance of being truthful and authentic in all aspects of life, including relationships. It encourages individuals to express their thoughts and feelings openly and honestly, even if they are uncomfortable or difficult. Radical honesty can be a powerful tool for building trust and intimacy, but it can also be challenging to practice, as it requires a high level of vulnerability and self-awareness.
Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a victim's mind, making them question their own sanity. The term comes from the 1938 play "Gas Light," in which a husband manipulates his wife into believing she is going insane. Gaslighting can be used in romantic relationships, workplaces, and other settings. It is a form of abuse that can have a devastating impact on the victim's mental health.
Q&A
What are some of the key benefits of using ExpressVPN?
ExpressVPN encrypts your internet traffic, making it impossible for hackers, governments, or your internet service provider to see what you're doing online. It also allows you to access content that is restricted by location, such as streaming services or websites that are only available in certain countries. ExpressVPN is also very fast and reliable, so you can stream high-quality videos without any lag or buffering.
What are some of the key ingredients in Mementis supplements?
Mementis supplements are formulated with high-quality ingredients that are third-party tested to ensure safety and efficacy. The company uses ingredients that are known to support cognitive function, such as choline, alpha-GPC, and lion's mane mushroom.
What are some of the key takeaways from Hugh Jackman's interview?
Hugh Jackman discusses the importance of meditation for achieving a sense of clarity and inner peace. He also emphasizes the profound impact his father had on his life, particularly in terms of ethics, integrity, and the importance of making decisions independently. He discusses his journey as an aspiring actor, the five-year contract he made with himself to pursue acting, and the pivotal role of musical theater in his career.
What are some of the key takeaways from Esther Perrell's interview?
Esther Perrell shares her childhood experiences growing up among Holocaust survivors in Antwerp, Belgium. She describes the unique environment she lived in, the languages spoken in her home, and the values instilled in her by her parents. Perrell delves into the concept of survival and revival, highlighting the resilience and life force of those who came back to life after the Holocaust. She discusses the importance of trust and vulnerability, emphasizing that both are essential for living a full and meaningful life.
Show Notes
This episode is a two-for-one, and that’s because the podcast recently hit its 10-year anniversary and passed one billion downloads. To celebrate, I’ve curated some of the best of the best—some of my favorites—from more than 700 episodes over the last decade. I could not be more excited. The episode features segments from episode #444 "Hugh Jackman on Best Decisions, Daily Routines, The 85% Rule, Favorite Exercises, Mind Training, and Much More" and #241 "The Relationship Episode: Sex, Love, Polyamory, Marriage, and More (with Esther Perel)."
Please enjoy!
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Timestamps:
[00:00 ] Start
[05:46 ] Notes about this supercombo format.
[06:49 ] Enter Hugh Jackman.
[07:22 ] What books has Hugh gifted most?
[10:35 ] Hugh's meditation practices.
[14:07 ] Summoning and maintaining the emotional and physical energy necessary for performing.
[19:59 ] What lessons did Hugh's father teach him about being an example to others?
[25:32 ] The contract Hugh made with himself at the end of drama school.
[29:13 ] Best decisions Hugh made in the first years of being an aspiring/working actor.
[34:23 ] How has Hugh learned to trust his intuition?
[37:07 ] The design of the day and the efficacy of manifestation.
[39:38 ] The most efficient exercises Hugh knows.
[40:53 ] The importance of incorporating relaxation into physical activity (the 85% rule).
[44:17 ] Enter Esther Perel.
[44:41 ] Esther's background.
[46:11 ] Growing up among Holocaust survivors in Antwerp.
[53:45 ] Her parents' survival: chance vs. choice.
[1:02:27 ] Trust or vulnerability: which comes first?
[1:04:24 ] Impermanence as motivation for living fully.
[1:06:24 ] Esther on being counterphobic.
[1:09:35 ] Studying in Jerusalem.
[1:14:02 ] Seeking and approaching mentors.
[1:22:39 ] Eroticism as an antidote to death.
[1:26:04 ] Options for couples with sexual listlessness.
[1:33:04 ] Too much honesty in relationships? American vs. European views.
[1:39:07 ] Complete sharing vs. caring in relationships.
[1:40:16 ] Guiding patients through infidelity disclosure.
[1:45:29 ] Overcoming fear of abandonment in non-exclusive relationships.
[1:52:23 ] Quarterly relationship report cards.
[1:53:54 ] "Don't ask, don't tell" in polyamorous relationships.
[1:55:46 ] Innovation and flexibility over rigid ideology in relationships.
[1:58:43 ] Relationships as power dynamics.
[2:02:20 ] The research process for Esther's book on adultery.
[2:08:36 ] Arguments for marriage today.
[2:13:47 ] Divorce rates in second marriages.
[2:15:13 ] Marriage's effect on relationship behavior.
[2:17:54 ] Human questions explored through infidelity in Esther's book.
[2:21:48 ] Books Esther frequently gifts and rereads.
[2:22:42 ] Esther's billboard.
[2:23:15 ] Parting thoughts.
*
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Past guests on The Tim Ferriss Show include Jerry Seinfeld, Hugh Jackman, Dr. Jane Goodall, LeBron James, Kevin Hart, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Jamie Foxx, Matthew McConaughey, Esther Perel, Elizabeth Gilbert, Terry Crews, Sia, Yuval Noah Harari, Malcolm Gladwell, Madeleine Albright, Cheryl Strayed, Jim Collins, Mary Karr, Maria Popova, Sam Harris, Michael Phelps, Bob Iger, Edward Norton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Neil Strauss, Ken Burns, <a hr
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