85 - The April Monologues
It is April, and, once again, something is different.
The voice of The Faceless Old Woman is Mara Wilson.
The voice of Michelle Nguyen is Kate Jones.
The voice of Steve Carlsberg is Hal Lublin.
Weather: It varies, depending on where you are and when.
US TOUR of 'Ghost Stories':
EAST COAST & MIDWEST APR 2-24, 2016
SOUTH & WEST COAST JUL 7-22, 2016
welcometonightvale.com, click on live shows.
NEW NIGHT VALE BOOKS!
Podcast Episodes Volumes 1 & 2
Both now available for pre-order.
welcometonightvale.com, click on books
WELCOME TO NIGHT VALE: THE NOVEL.
welcometonightvale.com, click on books.
Music: Disparition, disparition.info.
Logo: Rob Wilson, robwilsonwork.com.
Following script is auto-generated by Speech to Text Technology:
hey I'm going to talk for less than ninety seconds here about two really exciting things one of them brand new book news and then some weird fiction will happen and then your life will continue ok first off we leave tomorrow for our new live night they'll tour the new live show Ghost Stories is the strangest and most ambitious night fill light show we've attempted yet we're going to be all over the United States from Portland Maine to Portland Oregon this April and July starting on April second in Boston so we'll see if they're welcome tonight Phil dot com for tickets and now the books you may might feel script collections coming out this far on that I'd have more details soon it is soon and hear of those details the first two volumes of the welcome tonight Phil episodes of volume one mostly Voight partially stars and falling into the great glowing Qualls of the universe will be coming out September six and they are available for pre sale as of today these two volumes are every episode from our first two years plus our first two live shows all of them illustrated with truly bizarre and beautiful illustrations by Jessica Hayworth and every episode has behind the scenes commentary from the people involved in the show if you go to our website or our Twitter today you can get the first look at the stunning covers just to hit were designed and then go to welcome tonight Phil dot com and click on Books to get info on how to pre order at it for me with the second to spare and hate once again the turning of the season nearly imperceptible here are a shady of the desert heat but we feel the change in the role of our bodies in the texture of this and there is rain once in awhile if not here then somewhere else surely wild that spring has stepped in for her stall into winter's sister April and something that he's afraid it is a troll and the Danes have debt and vibrates it is April and so dear listeners night in Vail Community Radio is pleased to present the April monologues Chad the shad and beginning to understand and I wish I did not use to wear nice shirts you cut your hair regularly sometimes while you slept I would comb it to the orderly and presentable for the next morning he would shower and shave and dress for your internship search plane and well kept and precious unaware of the face assault woman secretly living in your home and then one day you did not return home you left your home you Wally Vatican to be with people you play video games and watch police dramas and read books by comedians always laughter solitude and I have always thought he was special and how completely ordinary he seemed young men are exactly what one thinks of when one thinks of the young man here in Chad always look out for you that problem you had tried all kinds of traps and poisons but the home to thousands approach her floor tied and its head removed and there was a hand scrawled note that said not bother that was me I did well I did kill the roaches that was the exterminator he was a very chat notice me we had a good way I lived secretly in face are you kind of did too only metaphorically of the I loved chat people and he had to go check out Houston sporting something for your work that store was not what it claims to be and you can return home from the landlord came I scared of this terrifying I can make belt and a bird watcher home and I protected you things were different how different the crisp all unbuttoned dangling like dried guided hunt these you rarely like what I painted the plaque or include any photos of spiders and economics played anymore to wear hoods and light candles drew a star in the middle of your floor which actually I can totally get behind e mails which were once so wonderful and full of mailing lists and social invitations and social invitation attractions and food delivery receipts detailing the stagnant nothing of a man so perfect and lovable in his comfy in her shower now they are terse coded messages to a girl I went strolling around or come over to swensens she does and he is going incense candles are growing again this one says I don't like the scandals you have to grow only to melt when not to and I certainly do not like what you brought us here in this little town my town has secretly live in what some and stop secretly living in your house because I was afraid of it but now I have returned because I feel unusual for me some obligation to do something to prevent this coming disaster recent spike in the morning and I'd ask of you telling you that he really chat did you ever think that I would make her beg anyone since I was a child a boy that we can ship those mountains recently to chat which is the reason I look at the bottom of the ocean for seventy years before this place this desert town this apartment Chad what happened team that store that wasn't a store today to healing to pry into this reality even known the destruction that awaits this town just as town perhaps the world that is not a door He opens Chad when is it or not adore when it is a chasm no you cannot see or hear me for a live secretly I thank you somehow my receipt into dreams and sticks in your memory you must undo what you've done for just too late you must add that creature that monster you summon is here staring at me with eyes that could never be mistaken for human walking toward me how does it seem each ad no one sees me Chad is looking my hand stop it it's bringing me a tennis ball the puppy is bringing me a ball I will not play fetch with you around could you see me you monster Chad we must do the weight you must do what you have done it needs nothing but you will to the stone to this world most importantly from my perspective to a thesis old woman that secretly lives in your home stop staring at the un holy peace the beagle go fetch the stupid ball Grove turns out to the new sprout brings to mind the way out of which it grows each day leads to its office in every moment he's able to turn every second is the history of the universe is taking the risk of heart let us take this moment its composite parts breakdown feast day into the person thought we were turning down the road one loss to the thinking lately about loneliness not because I'm lonely I just like to behead the curve by comes to thinking about things obviously I'm not lonely I'm Michelle Ring owner of the coolest and only record store in town and I'm not lonely just like a performance artist and main medium is solitude I've been listening to a lot of hardcore lately it's my new favorite genre its recordings of a purse and hopping but soft totally great and you wouldn't have heard of it because I meet myself and shared it with no one it's a recording of me hopping I recorded that and I am listening to it it's the new thing Murray came by nervous jock plants hair parted hands fluttering stopping restarting sighing Maureen she was looking for something new to listen to said things are stressful at her internship she had to lead an army or whatever and she did something that would relax her I suggested easy listening like Slayer or some silence but she said she was tired of all the top forty stations playing no sound at all sounds too mainstream and she wanted something new out honest I actually like silence I shouldn't it's like it's so popular but my favorite silence is the hum of the dryer from the next floor down I also like the swish of a highway that you thought was too far away to hear now that it's so quiet you can hear a distant and dissipating like the sizzle of foam on a Wi Fi Corey Leonard Cohen's new album The Wonder he talks in a gravelly voice and women sing along behind him she rolled her eyes and walked out I think she likes to hold a Welcome to the records he very well you want the new album by the US how original well all that sex act is upstairs it's like it the old joke I listened to Bach often but never the Beatles I love this hot core recording and made it on the all beige her at the back office here at the store I did in socks so it would be extra quiet you have to hold still like even hold your breath to hear it but it's there you have to really pay attention to notice me but I'm there I don't actually listen to Bach often what this sellout you see his HBO special I did but it was bad it's a quite time for record sales usually it's really busy which is annoying I hate when people are like please go to pay you a lot of money for physical albums it's like the getting back line the one leading to the cash register ring open it's your turn but I've let the temporary staff dissolve back into mud for the season and I won't have to mutter the ink anti sianz to bring them back to life for another month or two it's just me behind the counter me like always I'm all a need and the ultimate underground hit no one's heard of me no one's listening just the way I like it yes I know this is a once Regal the ferry before I actually have any meals it's like the old job as the law often but he left his last Maureen came by steady got a hair loose hand swinging shuffling restarting sighing Marine she said she liked Leonard Allen but she had heard it enough now well say have never thought I do this but I gave her some of my favorite recordings of these I love those recordings that I've listened to enough times now that I don't ever need to hear them again it's like the sound became part of me and I know better than the recordings to you now or maybe don't know probably that you're probably still a saint at Woody Guthrie sang on repeat because you just listen to whatever big music tell you this is my favorite part of the hardcore recording it's the part where the thumb of my hopping gets so quiet that it isn't any sound at all it's the silence and you have to know I'm there to recognize me in the silence and still hopping even though you can't hear it listen that's me in there in that no sound at all they seek music is made up the spaces between notes and that light is made up of the moment their eyes are closed because you blinking and that books are made up of blank pages that everyone pretends have words on them so they'll cease fire and the bling and the states I'm the pot I'm the cat hole that I have a customer you surely have a customer is a new low it made me green someone misses then feeling like Jesse has the record she feels like music or whatever that person is the worst hole that someone is actually coming in oh I'll be back Maureen came back i satisfied Jolie's hair up hands idling striding stopping restarting sighing Marie she said she loved the peas recording she wanted something like it but even more so similar but so different that it would startle her I knew exactly what she meant with that thirst but had to satisfy there's only so much music you know and there's so much human desire what you are now going to believe this probably like you won't even understand I gave her the recording of me hopping I know that Lake Bruins it because now someone else's listen to it but somehow I don't mind if Maureen he said I think maybe then I'd like that hope she comes back soon I mean don't get me wrong I love it when the record store is empty when they're in customers clamoring for music to listen to the loan is the best but I also kind of like it when Marine comes by her being here is cool too I guess just to figure out what album to show her next only there's so much good music you know each leads to the next season's record or we proceed through and the door at the end of the corn tortillas black and death let's appreciate the warmth of this narrow corridor or how small this world and how small we all offer for living in it and how joyful a small device can be so let us return for one last time for one last small tie to the April monologues I try to be helpful I know I can always fix everything I know my limits and they are many but still try to be helpful so when the kid came by did my best he was scared shorter because he could see them to the glowing the sky dotted lines and arrows and circles to the sky is a chart that explains the entire world and he could see it with a terrifying thing if you're prepared for it he was shaking so bad his ball cap was pulled low over his face Stevie said Steve Carell as Burt I know you can see them to help me and I tried I tried to be hopeful I like the evenings when it's quiet parts of the world to big cities things don't change much from morning to afternoon to evening to see even light the sink people in a hurry but here every time of day has a different tone and shade in the mornings before anyone else is up to desert his golden and the horizon light illuminates every detail in the mountains to the west feel bad for the folks who don't believe mountains won't see even that the birds come and hop around outside the kitchen window I like to watch them as I make coffee but brother in law he never sees the birds on account of he likes to grind the coffee himself and the pounding of his coffee have or keep the birds away but me I don't mind the pre hammered stuff it's a soft treat for the birds and then the afternoon with a light deepens and widens in the mountains turn to blue cut outs against the white blue sky and then the sunset loud and fragrant like sunset usually are and then evening of fast quiet empty just me and Abbey and Janice loading an island of a family in the rich darkness of the desert nothing the kid was so scared he had in him he tries to be hopeful to I could tell and so wasn't enough to know you wanted to do something about it he said he'd been fed to a sporting good store that they thought might have been a front for the World Government I know the place the world government is at the half of it going at sporting good store to find a real racket I love but yeah that place holds the core of it and this kid he goes in there a nice easy once you've seen it what you know you can't ever not know become who you once were after you become what you are now glowing arrows in the sky dotted lines he understood what I understand the folks that one night they'll they think they have control but you can't control what a person knows the more you think you had that contain the more it eludes you runners will try to control the weather the they try to do that to you using cloud seeding drones and laser but it never works out the way they planned what we do about it the boys kept asking poor kid who was my brother will take better care of his interns at the radio station and send them to places they had no right being like sporting good stores run by the World Government but it's not up to me as a fall seasonal can run it like the way he wants and he won't ever hear from me about it the other way these homes the kid understood how the world worked you could see the structure of it all bless him he wanted to fix it to make it right again and he wanted me to tell him how much we can do but understand they told him that much to do but know that he wouldn't accept if you want it to all of those glowing arrows in the sky like they were a map to somewhere and not a labyrinth in which a monster lives listen I said listen Chad I said I think in time you'll feel better maybe get a puppy I told him with a puppy infestation few years back Helen the insulation and some load bearing joists but it was chuffed with purring yes he said some in a puppy well I said sure but more just get a puppy like adopt is probably the word you're looking for I said to adopt a puppy sure the smile would wag their tails and roll around very cute I said this is how we would change things he said some in a puppy the World Government will never see it coming and thanked me and walked away oh well I'm surely what's happen I set out back down could smell coming then I went it was Abby's dinner at the genious with love in the day and so we reached the end of the role model all there is much that could be set on I will say none of it the Welcome to Night Vale is a production of Night Vale presents it is written by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey trainer and produced by Joseph A The Voice Of Knight Bale is Cecil Baldwin the voice of the faceless old woman was Mara Wilson the voice of Michelle when Miss Kate Jones the voice of Steve Carlson her was how local and regional music by discoloration can be found at desperation dot info or registrations at band camp dot com comments questions email us at info at Welcome to Night Vale dot com or follow us on Twitter at night Bill radio check out Welcome to Night Vale dot com for more information on as well as all sorts of cool night they'll stuff you can at home plus pre order links to our new illustrated scripts collections today's proverb but here and take care how it's put your and all of