87 - The Trial of Hiram McDaniels
It's the trial of the century.
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we are fast approaching welcome tonight fails four year anniversary I know I know I'm getting old too and we are having a party in New York City I know most of you don't live near there that's okay we are taking are really cool brand new life script ghost stories all over the south and west of the United States this July having just taken a bunch of places last month tickets are still available for this July not for the shows they already happened and then we're taking that new live show all over the UK and Europe in October and tickets are for sale for that as well we will see all of you there but if you can get yourself New York City oh my god this is a one time exclusive welcome tonight Phil birthday party at the Bell House in Brooklyn on ch and ten featuring a live performance of a bonus night though episode that we will only ever performed that wants plus the first ever live performance of our new podcast Alice isn't Dead Episode five with that comes out this Tuesday by the way and if that wasn't enough the first ever preview of our newest podcast with in the wires and after all of that show you were invited to a dance party with the night Phil writers performers featuring some fun surprises yet tickets are on sale for our dark here in the eternal Scout members this when state may forth and then they go on sale to the public on Friday May six but all be honest this is and this is a really cool one time event so it may well sell out during the presale if you want to become a member need to do so by eight p m Eastern on Monday Bay second to get pre sale just go to Welcome to the hilltop com and click on donate this is going to be a very cool event like none we've ever done or may ever do again I genuinely don't know June ten Bell House Brooklyn happy birthday night fail happy birthday all of you whose birthday it is today you I hope know who you are hey happy birthday numbers don't lie but humans using numbers lie old that I will go to the the the the the the the the the The The The The The The The The The The The trial of playroom McDaniels five headed dragon former mayoral candidate and current presumed criminals is coming to a close there are only a few technicalities to get through such as testimony from the remaining witnesses and arguments from the lawyers and deliberation the jury that will finally all that bureaucratic mess out of the way and be able to get to the verdict will be covering the trial as it continues to stay tuned here for all your trial info and now for Community classifieds item big Rico's Pizza is looking for a new cashier must have retail experience and be good at not talking if they know what's good for them no funny business no secret we speak Easy E's would even bring that up who've you been talking to to apply look at yourself in the mirror for a long time until your face no longer seems to be your item you see the tall shadow where no shadow should be cast have you seen a person exist in two places at the same time have you seen a young girl with an upside down face to know you have it would be ridiculous grow up sincerely Richard also if anyone sees my wife please let me know I took last kept blindingly bright orb shaped often visible in the sky during daylight hours if found please worship and finally I tell I haven't forgotten you all I let you the next high be so active I love the wall made from Italy he says be in community classifieds The Night Vale Parks Department announced that after a multi year five million dollar repair and renovation project the Beatrix Logan meditation zone is once again open for public use the meditation zone a state of the art meditation facility was destroyed by a multidimensional sentient puree made almost four years ago the parks department use that crisis as an opportunity to update the meditation mats equipment and machines now you can be cooked up and meditating is no ties and it's almost twice as efficient as before when measured in gallons per kilowatt the rebuilding was funded with a simple tax levied on every school child per school day they attend it and the construction only went three years and four point nine million dollars over budget we look forward to enjoying the new Beatrix Logan zone for years to calm today the mayor herself my former intern and current friend Dana Cardinal took the witness stand in high rooms trial the final witness in the trial of the century she looked at the citizen who had tried to overthrow her beating heart to sabotage her longs to end the administration of life within her body and calmly she met his eyes and then coldly she met his eyes and then she met his eyes calmly and then still cold she met his eye as she did not even glance at the Violet head the only head who did not participate in the crimes against her her hands were tight in front of her shoulders were back she looked tired and she looked determined and heavy with stress and still barreling forward to judge as DAC pastor to swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but you want the whole truth Dana said everyone got very quiet that is not a question that is asked often in the town like ours and it carries a dangerous way I will give you all the victims and nothing but she said the defense attorney and the prosecutor two identical men both named Troy watch objective you descend all the other objections were unclear and consisted of a high pitched panicked notes taught her the judge upheld both objections but Dana ignored all it's being mayor means carrying many secrets she said I am so young to carry so much now you will share in light burden and she began to tell the truth all of it as she knew it obviously we can report nothing of what she set most of the crowd fled horrified of what would be done with them if they heard even a fragment of the mayor's testimony the judge felt obligated to stay but put on the sound canceling headphones they assign all judges so none of them will hear anything that might make life too complicated to only hire up already charged already a criminal listen with interest as Dana unfurled the shadows within her and then she was done she said Thank you nodded to the judge nodded to Hyrum collected her belongings and walked out of the courtroom so the trial is continuing just fine and we should reach justice whatever that means quite soon obviously the transcript for this day of the trial will be burned along with the courts to Naga for and now the Children's Fun fact science corner up is up and down is down left is right and right is left to the west there are the highest highs and to the east there are the loaves the upper top is where the bluebirds go and the witching happens down below if you need to cross the street mind your shoes and mind your feet or their arm two streets then reports that leaked or cars that speed or lights that lead there is something stranger yet that wants to take you don't forget yes there is something stranger still and if it can eat food and it would and it will its teeth are sharp it's like his are sharp its voice else it may ease so walk real quick and step we liked and always look both ways look to the left to see your own death and look to the right to avoid a great fright and look for what hides under the cars that pass by under the trucks that speed under the peace between us under the asphalt and sand to look for a quick rest being an upbeat is up and down is down left is right and white is left to the west there are the highest highs and to the east there are the low is the up top is where the bluebirds go and the witching happens down below this has been the Children's Fun fact science corner the night fail Airport announced a trial run of international flights previously there were only the regular flights to lax JFK XT a Burbank and of course King City but now airport administration is unveiling plans to reach more than fifty international destinations including Mexico double Mexico and spits how these plans can be achieved in a one terminal airport with the new customs facilities and only the capacity to handle two passenger planes at the time has not been answered Martin McCaffrey local representative of the TSA waved away objections to the changes standing in front of reporters and literally waving his arms in physical dismissal of the questions being raised he also added an occasional fixed and I roll he then gave a statement now that I provided an official response to any technical questions on this matter it's time to talk about what's important to this town he opened the box which contained hundreds if not thousands of hand drawn sketches depicting a strange elongated dark figure calling out to the kitchen refrigerator Martin said I find one of these on my pillow each morning when I wake up I don't know who is drawing demo or white who is doing this to be collapsed to his knees his face a perfect portrait of anguish well above him the bright pink banner celebrating a new airport for a new night fail flapped loudly in the rising when each gust bringing a sharp bark of plastic as Martin to meet retreated into a sad helpless silence no I haven't traveled out of the country in a long time I have half a mind to hop on one of those planes and head to Spitz again who or even somewhere because listen I could check out a nice resort somewhere tropical all they be so fine the Barton is now weeping and calling away from the podium dragging his crumpled up sketches with him spit and snot dripping off his face forming a trail in the dirt below him a tropical vacation could be just what we need and finally a word from our sponsors Today Show is sponsored by Kleenex brand tissue products we know that you have a lot of choices when it comes to your nose for instance you can choose to simply do not have one just pop it right off and go on with your de un hindered or you can choose to have multiple decorative noses that turned her face into a provocative modern sculpture but instead you decided to have just the ONE knows that half the time doesn't work and is exactly between your eyes where it's it's distracting lean your vision at all times for no reason to of course your brain tunes that out unless someone calls attention to it so I guess that's not too bad but in general you've chosen the barely functioning weird knows you have and we're sure glad you did Kleenex brand tissue products you have a lot of choices in life we're glad you for some reason chose the faulty body you have this as been a word from our sponsors the update from the trial in a last minute surprise there has been a complete turnover in the makeup of the jury previously the jury was made up of seven humans and did a RI simulating a five headed dragon this was all pretty standard but now without warning announcement for any decision from the judge the seven humans were removed from the jury in their stead for seven strangers strangers were moving and blinking the pre audible even practice the hiss of air through their nostrils eyes fixed on nothing judge as Jack said that she does not approve of this change but also that she's too scared to question it and anyway she would find it hard to enforce any actions against it since that they live two is now a stranger and moving except that every time the judge looks away and looks back again she swears the stranger is slightly closer than she was before the defense attorney on behalf of the four heads he represents offered strong objections from behind his desk where he was hiding from the strangers the prosecuting attorney joined his objections and also joined him behind the desk was very little comment from the observers in the gallery as most of them to have been replaced by on moving greetings stranger well I guess we should get right to deliberations that showed the judge through the closed and locked door of her chambers but we haven't even given our closing arguments said both attorney simultaneously sitting back to back so that they could keep their eyes on as many of the strangers as possible the judge consider this argument and responded by screaming that one of the strangers was in her chamber and how did he get in there that Roy's did not have an answer for that and so the deliberations begin listeners while we wait to hear the verdict to this eventful and historic trial let's take a quick peek at the weather the The The fires as he saw the the seeker I still serve boohoo the The it's not due fair the the end we are all absurd you're cool just as sound through leave The trial of hiring McDaniels is over a verdict has been reached the jury that consisted of an AI simulation of a five headed dragon and seven silent and moving strangers only deliberated for a few minutes before returning with a verdict of guilty on all charges strangers briefed having visible breaths the AI whooped and whistled it was all very quiet and polite and quick my room's heads responded in ways as different as their personalities green of course ward and spat out a stream of fire unlike any ever seen from him before White meets your seat gold nodded gravely a politician politically accepting bad news blue didn't react visibly at all gray slumped and curled into his own neck a look of supreme to Junction on his reptilian features and purple sat tall in satisfaction rather than celebration judge as Dec said Well let's get to sentencing that and Troy Watch lawyer for the defendants prepared to speak but the judge went on to say there are no arguments to be made of Hiram is guilty of attacking the mayor of attacking the very civic structure of our town then Hyrum must be put to death we have no choice she concluded even Troy Walsh the prosecuting attorney was taken aback by this sudden and severe sentence he met eyes with his identical legal opposition and made a small shrug I supposed to do here he signaled through the expressive language of the body this isn't my problem I guess it's a problem but not my problem the judge continued sent it to be carried out once all appeals have been received and disposed of the guilty foreheads will be killed with a single bullet each was not to harm the lungs heart or any other part of the body shared with the Violet had was not charged by the score but Violet shouted but I am connected to them completely if my other heads die then on I will die too green continued to roar and for the first time there was a hard spine of anguish within the pulse of his anger re solved loudly and unashamed gold still nodding of the court with the politicians Poker Face surprised himself by throwing up and in doing so gave up the pretense of genealogy he too began to solve I'm afraid to judge as DAC removing her glasses and cleaning them distracted lead with a bit of her robot that justice is more important than the life of every innocent to come through this court if there is damage to more than the perpetrators than that is unfortunate but unavoidable take him away sense the bailiff was in on moving stranger be helpful but doomed CT stain on her for lead hire him away Violet how will that she couldn't do this that he was not charged with any crime but no one intervened a janitor trundle her cart forward to mop up the vomit left by gold the few humans left observing the court seemed at a loss for what to do and started to disperse in uncertain and even groups the A I did not move because it was a computer to strangers in the courtroom did not move either although they seem just a little closer to the onlookers than they were before and so that's it that was the trial of Hyrum Daniels he will be killed is Violet head in assent will also die so that's justice gaffes guess we've done a good work OS gets stay tuned next for the awful void of your own doubts and feelings goodnight the I guess the the the welcome tonight the production of Night Bell presents it is written by Joseph H and Jeffrey crater and produced by Joseph and the voice of night fell and Cecil Baldwin original music by distortion all they can be found at discretion dot info or desperation got band camp the dot com This episodes weather was cocaine by Holy moly find out more at Cal punk Holy moly got band camp dot com comments questions email us at info at Welcome to Night Vale dot com or follow us on Twitter at night a radio check out Welcome to Night Vale dot com for more information on this show as well as all sorts of cool night feel stuff you can lie to their consider clicking the donate link that be amazing today's proverb venues the brakes skid said the most annoying driving instructor ever the