91 - The 12:37
The 12:37 train has arrived. Plus, a crowd gathers on Somerset and the return of Laser Tag.
This episode was co-written with James Moran.
Weather: 'Windows' by Angel Olsen (angelolsen.com)
New Books: Night Vale Podcast Episodes, Volumes 1 & 2
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Aug 25, 2016
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Music: Disparition, disparition.info.
Logo: Rob Wilson, robwilsonwork.com.
Following script is auto-generated by Speech to Text Technology:
it's the year five of welcomes night fell and if this is your first episode you've ever heard cool you'll figure it out quicker smart we can throw your personal information we know that about you if this is your ninety first episode glad happy with us there's some weird and cool stuff ahead first three quick things one at that show Ghost Stories is our newest and best ninth a live show and we are taking it to the Well Mom to New Jersey on August twenty fifth and then all over Europe and the UK in October and am due to the demand we are adding a second night in Stockholm on October tenth after our almost sold out October nine show that second show will go on sale August thirty at noon for info and tickets for the New Jersey and all Europe shows go to Welcome to my fil dot com and click on live shows second thing that might fail volumes two book tours that's right this September we will be releasing the first two volumes of my Philips oats in book form with surreal illustrations for every episode and a ton of behind the scenes commentary from the people that make the show and to celebrate that release we're doing a small book tour to show writers mean Joseph and Jeffrey will be having conversations with some of our favorite people like Carlos boy still in Marin and writers Mallory or for conclude if a cold and then signing books at a number of the fence across the country on September six in Brooklyn on September seven in Cincinnati fifteen in Rhinebeck the nineteenth in Menlo Park the twentieth in San Francisco the twenty first in San Diego and finally September twenty second in Los for info on the venues and who we are talking to in each town go to work and I feel dot com and click on Books you can also find out about those books there three Finally no big deal but on our store we now have a shirt that says manic Pixie Dream trance and also souvenir key tax for the Vail Public Library Community Radio Station and house that doesn't exist welcome to my fil dot com store let's get this fifth year going to be aware do not bite the hand that feeds you grab it first take the keys set yourself free then biked to hear that run well call tonight fails the uh uh the exciting news for rail and to see guests and fans of punctuality the twelve thirty seven train to Red Mesa has arrived on time at night Bill station sort of on time has not had a train station or train service in a little over a century so the train is about a hundred years late this is naturally a cause of some confusion at the moment the station which used to be where the Little League baseball fields are right now was decommissioned and torn down after it was discovered the tracks just sort of ended in the middle of the desert connecting to you nothing the share of secretly seven circled the train which is stopped right in the second baseline and has not opened its doors it is not clear where the train came from if there were any passengers and if there are what condition they are Sheriff Sam announced that they are an avid rail and easiest or as they call themself a train spotter they whittled the small caboose out of a block of Ball site to demonstrate their enthusiasm they also repeatedly pronounced my name as the sole to Soul do with that information what you will we'll keep bringing you the latest on this story in other news there's a crowd of several hundred people gathering over on Somerset they have organized themselves into a tidy single file line none of them can say what they are lined up for nor where the front of the line his neighborhood resident Wayne Ferry said he got seven this morning it was already pretty large by that point he's not sure how far back he is in the line I saw my friend sure Allen said born in Trail and then kept walking toward the back of the line said but I kept passing her L morn in sch or else I said each time eventually she let me cut in line when said feline collapses back on itself there is no beginning or end even though it appears to be a perfectly straight more and more people are joining the line just to find out what everyone is in line for Wayne added whatever we're waiting for must be pretty cool to admire such childlike optimism even though optimism is doomed to almost certain disappointment and or injury we have more on the twelve thirty seven train to read makes up dozens of volunteers have arrived to take self ease in front of the old tiny steam engine and also to be in terror at the sudden anachronism Sheriff Sam uploaded these civic minded helpers by canceling them into a small chicken wire pen and shouting at them with an electric bull horn chair Sam as part of the police investigation into this mysterious train constructed a wrought iron abstract statue seemingly depicting a bird devouring we think it's supposed to symbolize man's inhumanity to man and the frightful conditions in which immigrants were exploited in the building of our nation's railways also the iron construction surely represents the indomitable lady of American capitalism but anyone who looks directly at any form of art gets a headache and trying to understand art is usually fatal so no one is served and how did the train get here with new tracks where did it come from and now that there's a giant metal sculpture in its way how will it lead how much would a ticket even being in today's dollars who are the people gathering about the baseball fields wearing deer masks breaking news some people wearing your master gathering by the train distributing roaches to bystanders riches all have phrases printed on them with things lie business in the front knife in the back and hash tag not all trains weird listeners your guess is as good as mine well almost I'm pretty good at guessing things and now traffic we were driving on a foggy night or faint tail lights from a car in front of you they're also faint headlights from a car behind you all moving at a steady thirty miles per hour but then the likes of the other commerce just switch off at the same time the other car still there it's too foggy to see should you slow down speed up slow down the car behind might hit you if you speed up you might get the car infront best to stay at thirty eight years to donors creeping up to thirty five the pressure is put you on edge your boss Catherine has been really under case lately and are pressing your foot down without realizing now you're at forty should take about two thirty what if the cars are still there matching your speech is going back to thirty St should you stay of forty eight it's fifteen Now you've been so worried about driving at forty and lingering on but Catherine said to you about terrible quarter to sales or speed has crept up again you match in three cars speeding through the night all of you mere inches away from the bone crunching life changing possibly life ending collision before you know what you're doing sixty and seventy A D eighty you can scarcely believe that I mean wasn't that keen this account is not doors that failed how was quarter to your fault you can't possibly slow down now the car behind won't have time to reduce their speed and where is the car in front of you at least the road is straight or is it and are you even still on the road is there any way to go all around to was fog if you crash even if you survive will anyone find the wreckage to save you without noticing you have lifted your foot and the cars slow down to sixty you keep your foot off the gas and your car keep slowing fifty forty thirty twenty ten and then zero you've stopped no crashes no screeching tires put on the parking brake and get out of her car and walk off into the mist your face type into your stay you think about how Tina take such long smoke breaks and Catherine doesn't say a thing about that the mist coats your cold skin and to hear birds just above you this has been trafficked we have an exciting update from the baseball fields the train has opened its doors nobody's disembark yet it looks completely empty the secret police are keeping a safe distance while politely shouting at the kettles witnesses to board the train and see what's up if you are reluctantly going in the figures in Dear masks looking like the same transit lovers who built the Night Vale subway system three years ago are in an inverted V formation out in left center field their shoulders and heads bobbing as if in silent laughter so far none of the volunteers have come back out despite the Sheriff's Secret Police is repeated friendly warnings and helpful bullhorn threats the City Council could not be reached for comment on the train as this whole situation has unfortunately clashed with their annual and inaugural charity golf tournament somewhere far away from any possible danger also I didn't even bother to call them for comment Teddy Williams owner of the Desert Flower bowling arcade fun complex announce that after twenty years the laser Tag Adventure Pitt is reopening this weekend in a contrite statement released this week heading says he finally figured out how to lower the power settings on the lasers according to Williams his written statement super sorry like wow it never occurred to me that anyway things are fine now also I know a doctor who specializes in limb re attachment the statement reads the statement continued like spiders with a place can afford to lose if you write but us humans with just the two rap really what was I thinking sorry I mean nobody died for anything he said and I apologize did not die but he just gets on the radio reading out stories in that condescending way he does putting on silly voice is making a mockery of my punctuation and vernacular prose turning everything into an incredibly long sentence with a lot of sub clauses and tangents that wander out like branching paths in the forest so that when you take one forking path and it turns into another path you don't know if it's a new path or just the same path the world beyond or maybe you've just gone in a circle the whole posting so long that you forget it's somebody else's words until he says Teddy said that he said but listeners on they don't think I need to read the rest of his statement but I will mention that for re opening weekend at the laser tag event or that there's a twenty percent discount on admission and everyone gets a release form and absolutely free and updates from the baseball the shared secret police boarded the train and did not come back out shortly before they boarded they warned the remaining witnesses not to board the train then shortly after the secret police boarded the witnesses themselves boarded the train and also the comeback of many people have leaving their homes schools and places of business to walk or distinction all excited to take selfie big existential horror at his rift not only time and space but also our trust in basic physics the figures in the deer masks for all crouched pounding with their open palms are now people on the train than its capacity for passengers but people are still boarding after twisting disappearing inside it was empty everyone wants to board the train i e I feel the same urge that all would you do to board the train listeners and they were not for my strict professionalism and commitment to the show I would be on that train myself but I must resist the state here in my studio and you know what nevermind I got to go see this ok let's just go to the what are the the Louis in the In the the the the the the the the the the the the meet the The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The the the the the the is shown I the boom the the in the the the the listeners and back I am back in the radio with the twelve thirty seven train to wherever certainly not to read Mesa is gone as the doors closed on us inside the passenger cars we heard the framing of the massive engine churning of gears and wheels great steam whistle looking out the windows I saw the baseball diamond so how's isn't trees I felt as moving gaining speed accelerating felt in my years of the cars trees houses the baseball fields did not seem to move at all at first then the trees with three went to the ground the house is disassembled themselves this time power poles and tall buildings vanished they were more plants watered the grass grew up higher and higher until the baseball fields with beer the imprints on my eyelids the clouds moved more and more rapidly the sun curl across the sky like a pop fly to right I saw it over and over to ferment pulsed blue and orange and black and yellow blue and orange and black and yellow blue and orange and black and yellow faster and faster recovery dark and light flickering dark and light disorienting strobe being inside our passenger car in the millisecond darkness is I saw empty seats all the ground in the millisecond likeness is seated about me were all of my fellow nine till six these two realities simultaneous an overlay at the front of the car visible only in the rapid flashes of dark that a woman wearing a D or mask she stared straight into me walking slowly stumbling every couple of steps not clumsily but deliberately a painful and grotesque dance she seemed to lose control of her whole body only to recover gracefully and repeat she stopped inches from me I could see her body was covered with roaches she said they take our miniature buildings they put them in crates and deliver them to warehouses across the desert their interests furthered could not be or terrible future like the tiny nation of people under Lane five of the bowling alley an arcade fun complex oh did you know that the reopening the laser tag she took off or to your mask actual face to face a fifty year or face for exactly Who are you I asked she leaned in insects scuttling brown snout I am the destroyer they take our buildings they put them in crates their interests are furthered I am the destroyer strobe light from the spinning son stopped and it was only dark now think they'll even the deer headed woman was gone around me barely visible in the dark train scattering of man dressed from a bygone era holding wooden crates are sitting twisted silently uh scalp itch tickle nice reach to scratch more I screamed and swatted them away hundreds shirt my hair but it's foot the Crescent are still some light above me I smell trees I heard a woman's voice I tasted nothing C So why are you in our field you should be at work Lucia Terrace Chico one of the Little League coaches and also a ghost standing over me a group of kids in ball caps and jerseys behind her I'm sorry Lucia I said getting up patting my chest feeling for insects to use your train here just power some men with crates with a long pause Lucia looked like she wanted to either answer me or hit me see so you've got something on you she said I reached my hand to my neck and pulled back a Roach look closely at o What Is This It says on the cockroach we both looked at the lettering across the roaches back to our car we read together dude named for a bug she said Now go back to work Cecil we do infield drills now called Carlos but he had no knowledge of the train or what happen today the culture of Sam who laughed at the notion and then complained about the media for fifteen minutes I tried contacting representatives from the night transit authority but their line is busy as it has been since they opened their offices three years ago called Teddy Williams some questions about the tiny nation of people under Lane five but the screen upon reached out to Wayne ferry and confirmed the line of people on Somerset is totally real and they're all still waiting on whatever the line is for didn't hear anything about a train track to train women in the D or masked men with crates or were lucid and maybe the military was test marketing some new chem trails or the transit authority was test marketing a new imaginary train system cups of cream cheese probably some lemon and honey tea smells real and it feels warm in my hands the whole and hot on my lips thank you for that e Kareem and thank you for the realist thing I felt all day the twelve thirty seven train to parts unknown from parts unknown is gone and like most everything else in our it likely was never there to begin with but we took our first real bright green cars real ice I saw a Roach loose of the ghost who coaches Little League she showed me Prima shaking his head in backing out the studio don't forget to blink Curry him he's gone the the state to next for the sound of a beating heart the muffled solve the nearby whisper while you are supposedly alone in the dark and all of your other favorite jams of the nineteen eighties and nineties and as always good Night Night veil that night was the lot and tonight they'll is a production of Night Vale presents it is written by Joseph A and Jeffrey trainer and produced by Joseph ang today's episode was co written with James Moran the voice of Knight Bale is Cecil Baldwin original music by discretion all of it can be found at dispersion dot info or a desperation shot band camp dot com This episode sweater was Windows by Angel Olsen find out more at Angel Olsen dot com comments questions email us at info at Welcome to Night Vale dot com or follow us on Twitter at nine till radio check out Welcome to Night Vale dot com for more information on this show as well as all sorts of cool night they'll stuff you can while you're there consider clicking the donate link that being said today's proverb here's the church here's the steeple open it up and see all the people screaming about the giant that just tore the roof open the The