95 - Zookeeper

95 - Zookeeper

Update: 2016-10-0110
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Description

Zookeeper Joanna Rey brings some animals to the studio. Plus, an update on Old Woman Josie, dragons in town, and a look at traffic.

The voice of Joanna Rey is Felicia Day.

Weather: 'Coffee' by Sylvan Esso (sylvanesso.com)

New Books: Night Vale Podcast Episodes, Volumes 1 & 2
Available now!
Plus...
Welcome to Night Vale: The Novel. welcometonightvale.com, click on books.

Night Vale European Tour Dates:
Oct 3-23, 2016
welcometonightvale.com, click on live shows.

Music: Disparition, disparition.info.

Logo: Rob Wilson, robwilsonwork.com.

Produced by Night Vale Presents. Written by Joseph Fink & Jeffrey Cranor. Narrated by Cecil Baldwin. More Info: welcometonightvale.com, and follow @NightValeRadio on Twitter or Facebook.



Following script is auto-generated by Speech to Text Technology:

election season right now huh boy am I not going to talk about any of that talk about two other things one of which is a brand new podcast what yes but the first thing is that we start our big night they live your door in just a couple days with our parish October third after that we go to Madrid to clone Copenhagen Stockholm Oslo Amsterdam Munich Berlin Prague Dublin Brighton London and Manchester some of those are sold out others are going to sell out soon for bringing our favorite life script yet creepy and moving ghost stories this will be the only time we bring the script to Europe tickets welcome to come we cannot wait to see him so second thing new show we are very proud to announce the newest podcast from the night feel percent network orbiting human circus of the air created and written by Julian Koster of neutral Milk Hotel and The Music tapes and starring John Cameron Mitchell of Hedwig AND THE angry inch and featuring folks like Tim Robbins Charlie day Mandy Putin can and someone Baldwin it is a truly strange and magical story about a mysterious show broadcast from the top of the Eiffel Tower and we were super happy to be able to bring it to you it debuts October twelve but look for a teaser to appear in the next week or so that's it Europe tour new podcast by incredible people but first enjoy this podcast by incredible people we love you Hey thanks it is a truth universally acknowledged that a single in possession of a cursed talisman must be in want of a hex reversal well come tonight the uh the the the the trail that we have a special treat for you today Joanna Rae head zookeeper at the nine bills you joins us live in studio she's also brought in several animals for us to see since this is Radio if you are not a telepathic or an omnipresent Spirit you will be able to see them you'll just have to imagine the animals but that shouldn't be difficult the old saying goes a thousand words it's worth a picture so today show should be worth about two point six pictures you will also be able to envision two point six animals during today's show Two and a welcome to our program thanks for having me I can see you brought in some really interesting what are those raccoons these are chicken whole what the evolutionary defensive traits of the chicken is its resemblance to the rec room for instance those animals have to ice and then can add the cumin add the chicken is mortal which is a term to Allah just used to describe the animals potentially tie the I remember as a small child I found a dead raccoon in our yard and I told my mother about it thought it was sleeping but that day my mother sat me down and explain death to be Cecil she said most of God's creatures are born and then one day they die just like you and be one day both of us will die one of us will do so in the much more eventful way than the other and like this raccoon which died from Iraq I dropped it why did your mother drop Iraq in direct route oh she was always the jokes tt are always up to some kind of prank dropping rocks on people and animals was just a ray of kidding around anyway these chickens are gorgeous with their bright orange and yellow beings and dozens of spiny legs what's weird is I always assume chickens were difficult because I've never seen one in person or a lot of people make that mistake in logic but just because you cannot see something that doesn't mean it doesn't exist this is something to all adjustments always remember because there are so many creatures not visible to human sight like the birds that microbes and postwar Steve when visitors come to the night Bill zoom staff members from our audience education team often hide in the shrubbery and then jumped out shouting the blindfolded zoo goers just to educate people on the existence of things they can see I've learned a lot of neat things while wearing a blindfold we'll get back to your wonderful creatures end up but first today's news is that nothing I didn't hear a low growling sound that I didn't hear old Katie Hey let's have a clearance of traffic the roads are totally clear today it's a real mess out there no one can see where the streets are because they are completely transparent I'd like to tell you which avenues and intersections to avoid but since there are virtually invisible that information is useless perhaps try walking or just staying at home wow glad I flew here today instead of deriving half a good call and update old woman Jo see several of you have written in via e mail and spray paint on the station walls that you want to know how she's doing well she's out of the hospital back home and recovering nicely apparently Joe C's daughter laundry has come back tonight Bill to help care for her really hear Joe C mention her children and she didn't say much but a long trip this time either apparently a laundered decided to return to our hometown to take care of her mother because she didn't want an old woman with a broken hip trying to live on her own Joe C insisted that she wasn't living alone that she had several what she refers to as angels Erica who are taking care of her as well as her strict score Foundation which supports not only the new Old Opera House but also several local arts groups a library destruction Fund and the popular charity Cars for Kids which provides cars two kids who do not have cars the Angels according to Josie have lived at her house for several years and have shown nothing but grace love and support for her unlike her family who moved away from the desert to see if the sounds upset and sometimes the forced bond of family relationships can be frustrating but having family to take care of you when you live alone is a true blessing of listeners in turn Karim is shaking his head at me and saying Joe See lives with the angels that we went over this in the meeting Korea but we do not acknowledge the existence of angels etc etc et-cetera Joe C lives alone there's no one to take care of her oh come on don't walk out there he goes a man who doesn't believe in time travelling in trains or deer faced destroyer gods but deny a single angel has thrown a fit best wishes to old woman Josie and welcome back to Night Vale laundry so let's get back to your fantastic zoo animals the the the first two innings lifting what looks like a solid steel cube onto the desk she's opening the box of steam or vapor is coming out and was so excited what kind of exotic creature brought for us in such a dramatic carrying case the thief L R Brown tarantula the duck sound excited branch rentals are fairly common in the desert I was hoping for something exotic like chickens of course but the reason I brought Peace Ranch live to talk about our animal development initiative says not only display animals in tiny enclosures for the public back and we also train and rehabilitate many of these animals sometimes animals we bring in have been badly injured or in the case of these ranch was horribly and are educated you might not notice just by looking at but our animal development team has taught these tarantula to read they are fully sentient that the text Georgie that smash that Carmelo that Patrice that score a field somewhere the issue is hell and home there she is on the back of your shirt collar I love the they live that's me being I know there are several teach spiders to read programs here in my tail it's great to hear some of them are really working so of what book are you reading all the tarantula can't or write the street so they can read but not express to anyone what it is they have learned yet is there any consideration by the Sioux about developing sentient us in creatures who live in cages I mean do you think that the animals self awareness could bring about stages of depression or resentment or despair or even rage if they understood the prison like conditions in which the lift totally all the baby pigs the the the um your name is Walt holes and your name O Lord he's a professor noise to get the sure it's nothing did you say for that fine oh okay let's get to our program sponsor now Today Show was brought to you by Starbucks start your day off feeling great maybe grab a latte caramel macchiato a mocha Frappuccino on your way to work just make sure you're feeling great first we'll know if you're not if you purchase one of our products will not feeling great going to make us not feel great that kind of negativity is infectious no prep you think our coffee related product line will help you get beyond not feeling great in to actually feeling great but you can't rely on nutritional stimulants to achieve positivity no no caffeine and sugar will get your energy up sure but that crash is coming and it will be pretty and we don't want you hanging that on us get yourself a good place really be positive make it to you make of this pose but you better be an excellent feature to find out you showed up one of our thousands of Starbucks locations worldwide while unhappy we're going to be evicted just beside ourselves all of us every Starbucks employees standing literally beside ourselves holding hands and saying directly to you we don't come here with your nasty attitude and expect us to bear the weight oh no oh no you will not Starbucks cool your hot mess before you show your face around here a few weeks back we reported several five Hidden Dragons had to write tonight fail including the dos of Daniels the sister of current death row inmate hiring McDaniels most of them are between ten and twenty five feet tall and all have five heads are getting more and more complaints from local businesses and human night fell residents about these dragons Marjorie Bell a co manager of the dollar cinema said each dragon takes up nearly a dozen seats not to mention obstructing the view of all the seats behind the Dragons mass of long heads Williams owner of the Desert Flower bowling alley and arcade fun complex had to cancel league nights this week because he's having to buff out all of the claw marks in the lanes was actually looking for my team which is down one member Jesse recovers Bob Sturm vice president of finance for the night failed auto insurance company said his company has seen a significant uptick in Dragon initiated accidents and that they would no longer cover anyone who owns a caulk then deliberately broke his own arm with the wrench and default nervously it's been a tough adjustment that fail to a five headed guests from another world that we are a friendly town remember to welcome strangers with a friendly point as you shout into low for them also it's considered good neighborly behavior to follow strangers home while repeating what are you doing where you off to the dragons I'm kind of shore mean us no harm Joanna have you ever seen a dragon up close I Yes why they're beautiful things really intelligent and funny creatures fiercely loyal the well to their own kind I mean a taxi on Friday and she doesn't text back and you're like Santa I would like to see you it's been weeks is everything okay and then one day you get a phone call and got his whole head is like you're a great woman I've had in the rain but her green head is like it's over Joanna and the crying and crying for what we want the real sue over animals have you brought him along wants to hear it's so majestic wow look at those words also those wings wings of the best part of this year I'm always in awe of animals who can fly at night just so delicious too and not to indict your face it's like the dry and endanger the in your hand US the listeners in old she's jumping onto the old mine is not good when you are the views from the listeners to we need to the pic that's what know I one we tried to restore let me take you to the microphone to her not for eating they are smarter than all things to add up one with the wood Mdm wee wee wee woo woo the who who who who who who whoo The The The The The The The The The to the show which stated The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The who drove the the show's second day The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The the uh uh the uh I A and we are back our special guest today has been to enter a head zookeeper at the night till soo thanks for being on her show Joanna thanks for having me you've eaten all of the animals you've brought in today well except for the torrential as they wandered off not sure where they win just like a bunch of spiders to be there one second and down the next oh my intern cream tells me they all wandered over to the human resources department here at the station and a flight for sales jobs apparently they were strong interviewers despite not being able to speak or write all that said big success for our animal development initiative there is so much good food does for animals besides lock them up and examine them which is of course just part of maintaining a natural environment for these creatures without the conservation efforts of the zoo these animals would just be locked up and examined by predators but in the confines of the zoo they seem to be at risk of being devoured by zoo staff members who turn into predatory cats feet all the alleged attack about so you just got overwhelmed with hunger and your body turned into a Panther and you ate all the animals I'm a shape shifter see Phil only take the form of a cat when I see because people get all upset when I devour an entire cow looking like a human I'm sorry about the damage to your studio I really am I should even before I can but don't so quick to judge shape shifter Cecil we don't get overwhelmed we just use our appearance is based on what we want to express my cloaking you might wear say AT T shirt around the house doing chores or while on vacation the Imagine you have different outfits to wear to work oh guess although today is plastic poncho Wednesday so I'm dressed up a bit more but yeah for work I usually wear a cover binding Capri pants because it's important to me that people understand I am a journalist I see what you're saying to Adam that spare be able to take the form of different animals in fact makes your job alot easier at the zoo or ever use this ability to latch but I said great guy to try to work sometime well thanks for being on her show today Joanna sure you know there's still a lot of chicken blood pooling around your desk to get another paper towel oh no no it's no bother intern cream could you come here stay to next night veil for the sound of scrubbing followed by the sound of gagging followed by the sound of liquid dribbling into a metal pan and is always Good Night Night Vale good night the rockin' Tonight has a production of Night Vale presents it is written by Joseph Fink and chef Rick Rainer and produced by Joseph A The Voice Of Night Vale is Cecil Baldwin the voice of was Felicia Day Original Music by distortion all of it including his brand new album The Palm in mirror can be found at discretion dot info for a description got band camp dot com This episode sweater was coffee by Sylvan esto find out more at Sylvan aso dot com and for the story of how that song was made check out the amazing podcast song explode or comments or questions email us at info at Welcome to Night Vale dot com or follow us on Twitter at night till radio were look inside your heart using a chisel check out Welcome to Night Vale top com for more information on this show as well as our live touring show coming to your town soon maybe while you're there consider clicking the donate link it's how we're able to do everything we do today's proverb One of the old people born in twenty four teams have already graduated college don't know what a trombonist and are all named after gourds the er the the the er the the uh oh
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95 - Zookeeper

95 - Zookeeper