97. The Path From Good To Free: Leaving A 9 Year Relationship & Coming Home To Herself with Amber Rae
Digest
This podcast episode features Elizabeth Endress interviewing Amber Rae, author of "Lovable: The Path from Good to Free." Amber recounts her experience of being in a marriage with her best friend that lacked romantic intimacy, leading to a profound soulmate connection with John. She details the courageous decision to be honest about her feelings, dissolve her marriage, and pursue an authentic path. The conversation explores the concept of "trust falls," the importance of inner worthiness, healing the inner child, nervous system regulation through practices like journaling and presence, and finding self-love and liberation. Amber's memoir, "Lovable," chronicles this transformative journey of self-discovery and embracing vulnerability.
Outlines
Introduction and Amber Rae's Journey
Elizabeth Endress introduces "The Wellness Process" podcast and guest Amber Rae, author of "Lovable." Amber shares her story of transitioning from a marriage lacking intimacy to finding her soulmate and embracing authenticity, emphasizing self-honor and inner work.
Unfulfilled Marriage and Soulmate Encounter
Amber describes her nine-year marriage to her best friend, which lacked romantic intimacy. The pandemic highlighted their incompatibility, and she subsequently met John, experiencing an immediate soulmate connection that revealed the lack of fulfillment in her current marriage.
Navigating Truth and Courageous Choices
Amber confesses to her husband about meeting a soulmate, leading to honest conversations and the dissolution of her marriage. Encouraged by a friend, she makes the courageous choice to pursue authenticity with John, embracing growth over safety.
Life After Transition and "Lovable" Memoir
Amber reflects on her deepened relationship with John despite challenges, and discusses her memoir "Lovable," which details her journey of self-love, confronting abandonment wounds, and finding inner worthiness.
Cultivating Inner Worth and Regulation
Amber offers advice on finding self-worth, reconnecting with sexuality, and healing the inner child. She shares daily practices like journaling and staying present to maintain a regulated nervous system, emphasizing "getting better at feeling" over avoiding discomfort.
Conclusion and Resources
Amber shares resources for her book and online presence. Elizabeth thanks Amber and encourages listeners to engage with the podcast.
Keywords
Trust Fall
A metaphorical leap of faith into the unknown, often involving significant life changes like ending a relationship or career. It signifies a deep trust in oneself and the universe, believing that positive outcomes will follow authentic choices.
Authenticity
The quality of being genuine and true to oneself. In relationships and life choices, authenticity means aligning actions and decisions with one's core values and inner truth, even when it's difficult or goes against societal expectations.
Inner Child Healing
A therapeutic process focused on addressing unmet needs and past traumas from childhood. By acknowledging and nurturing the inner child, individuals can heal emotional wounds, overcome limiting beliefs, and foster self-compassion and security.
Nervous System Regulation
The ability to maintain a balanced and responsive nervous system. Practices like journaling, mindfulness, and connecting with nature help individuals manage stress, process emotions effectively, and cultivate a sense of calm and presence.
Soulmate Connection
A profound and deep spiritual or emotional bond with another person, often characterized by instant recognition and a sense of destiny. This connection can be a catalyst for personal growth and self-discovery.
Self-Love
The practice of valuing and caring for oneself. It involves accepting oneself unconditionally, prioritizing well-being, and recognizing one's inherent worth, independent of external validation or achievements.
Vulnerability
The quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally. In relationships, vulnerability involves sharing one's true feelings and fears, which can lead to deeper connection and intimacy.
Memoir
A historical account or biography written from personal knowledge or special sources. Amber Rae's "Lovable" is a memoir detailing her personal journey of self-discovery and transformation.
Q&A
What is the core message of Amber Rae's book "Lovable"?
"Lovable" is a memoir about self-love and self-liberation. It details Amber's journey of leaving an unfulfilling marriage, finding her soulmate, and confronting deep-seated abandonment wounds to discover her own worthiness and loveability from within.
How did Amber Rae navigate the transition from her marriage to her new relationship?
Amber navigated the transition with honesty and courage. She confessed her feelings to her then-husband, had open conversations with John, and ultimately chose authenticity over societal expectations, leading to the end of her marriage and the pursuit of her new relationship.
What is the significance of "trust falls" in Amber Rae's and Elizabeth Endress's philosophy?
A "trust fall" represents making a courageous leap towards authenticity and growth, even when it involves uncertainty or fear. Both believe that such leaps, when aligned with one's truth, are rewarded by the universe and lead to profound personal transformation.
What are some practices that help maintain a regulated nervous system, according to Amber Rae?
Amber emphasizes journaling to understand her emotions, staying present in the moment, and connecting with nature through walks. She also highlights the importance of "getting better at feeling" uncomfortable emotions rather than avoiding them.
How did Amber Rae's past experiences influence her relationship choices?
The loss of her father in childhood led to an anxious attachment style and a fear of abandonment. This caused her to seek safety and stability in relationships, leading her to marry her best friend but lack romantic intimacy, as she unconsciously avoided situations that might trigger her abandonment fears.
Show Notes
In today’s episode, Elizabeth sits down with Amber Rae, bestselling author and speaker, to explore what happens when we choose safety over truth and the cost of staying in relationships that no longer align. Amber opens up about her experience in a sexless marriage, the fear of disappointing others, and the moment she realized love and safety are not the same thing. She shares how meeting her now husband became a catalyst for radical honesty and forced her to confront long buried wounds around intimacy, self worth, and abandonment.
They dive into why so many women stay in “good enough” lives, how contrast reveals what is truly out of alignment, and what it means to take a trust fall toward growth instead of comfort. Amber also reflects on nervous system regulation, learning how to feel rather than fix emotions, becoming a mother, and how writing her memoir Lovable became an act of self liberation.
Follow Amber Rae
Website: https://amberrae.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heyamberrae/
Follow us
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thewellnessprocesspod
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thewellnessprocess
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheWellnessProcess
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