DiscoverTopic Lords17. A Buzzsaw Made Of Bananas
17. A Buzzsaw Made Of Bananas

17. A Buzzsaw Made Of Bananas

Update: 2020-02-17


Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!




  • Refusing to be a Topic Lord because you're just on Topic Lords to promote your alternative podcast Beast Lords.

  • Not having anyone to plug this time either but maybe you have a Soundcloud somewhere.

  • Choosing all of your topics while driving to the zoo.

  • Containing multitudes and being super excited.

  • A band of adventurers being led by an operatic soprano.

  • A party of all bards.

  • Appropriating spam musubi because it's delicious.

  • Not technically being part of a band of adventurers but you play a tambourine and own the van.

  • Stealing the spam musubi from your bass player's bag of holding because they're going to go bad eventually.

  • Keeping both gold coins and spam musubi in the same bag of holding and having to dig around for the money when you buy anything.

  • Finally having a dog on this podcast.

  • Putting your dead dog in every D&D party you're in for the rest of your life.

  • Putting your dead dog in every platformer you make for the rest of your life.

  • All your D&D adventures going wrong because you're just musicians and can't actually deal with monsters.

  • Putting monsters onto the bus to the next town over.

  • Putting a fishtank bubbler on your bag of holding so all the monsters in there can breathe.

  • Fixing it then ruining it.

  • Coming to your chosen profession late in your life.

  • Age gaps getting less weird as time goes on.

  • Thinking about watching new TV to be able to relate to young people and deciding nobody has that kind of time.

  • Old people being full of stories from their lives.

  • Not talking to your friend as much as you used to because she lives in Ohio now.

  • Spending your retirement taking care of dogs.

  • Responding to difficult situations with grace and tact.

  • Stopping going to work because they stopped paying you.

  • The English teacher bubble in Japan.

  • Seeing the only other white person for a mile in any direction and wondering if you should nod at them.

  • Seeing the only other white person for a mile in any direction and thinking "frickin Americans!"

  • Not wanting to talk to strangers except in your favorite coffee shop.

  • Telling your wife something a week ago and then finding out it's a myth and having to correct her on a podcast.

  • Bananas being especially susceptible to disease.

  • Replacing the Cavendish banana with an even shittier banana after it succumbs.

  • Hiding your bananas because if your son sees them he won't be able to think about anything else.

  • Giving your son bananas because he already poops enough.

  • Foot-long avocados.

  • A giant box of intimidating tropical fruit being the best Christmas gift.

  • Drinking soursop juice tasting flights at a Mexican restaurant.

  • Bananas that look like a buzzsaw made of bananas.

  • Your infant son seeing a rambutan and realizing that maybe some things don't go in your mouth.

  • Haunted fruit.

  • Remembering trauma that happened when you were way too young to remember stuff.

  • Visiting your dad in prison and he's wearing fake shoes.

  • Riding in the back of a pickup truck and sharing Now & Laters with your older sister.

  • The US government deciding that televising court trials is a terrible idea after televising the OJ Simpson trial.

  • Knowing when a thing happened because you remember where it happened.

  • Trying to construct a mind palace like Hannibal and Sherlock and after a day of hard work deciding you don't need to remember anything that badly.

  • Yelling "story math!" when you correctly predict a story beat.

  • Realizing at the end of the episode that he's been inside his mind palace the entire time.

  • Copying your old hard drive onto the new one always working until one day you get an SSD drive and nothing fits.

  • Paying Dropbox money to get more storage and Dropbox starting to spam you about features you don't care about.

  • Only having a laptop to more effectively play your favorite web game.

  • Most people not really having any use for a desktop PC any more.

  • Having to remember life milestones differently because your life has settled down.

  • Liking a salad that doesn't have any lettuce in it.

  • Never having so badly wanted to go make a salad.

  • Peeling cucumbers so you don't get Cucumber Gas.

  • A hot cucumber.

  • Flashing your CEO badge to get into the food truck even.

  • The burger joint offering you a salad with cheddar cheese crumbles on it and it turns out to just be a slice of cheddar they broke into a few pieces.

  • Crisping cheddar cheese in the broiler and throwing away the rest of your meal because you've peaked.

  • Trying to convince your wife that if you add mayo to a cheese plate it becomes a salad.

  • Not understanding when the young folks talk about going to sleep.

Support Topic Lords









Sleep Timer


End of Episode

5 Minutes

10 Minutes

15 Minutes

30 Minutes

45 Minutes

60 Minutes

120 Minutes

17. A Buzzsaw Made Of Bananas

17. A Buzzsaw Made Of Bananas

Jim Stormdancer