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When survival becomes your whole identity, integration can feel impossible. We invited children’s therapist and author Stacy Schaffer to share how she moved from early trauma and institutional harm to a practice built on safety, consent, and repair—and how those same tools can help any family navigate grief, anxiety, and big feelings.

Stacy opens up about not being believed at first, the perfection armor that followed, and the moment she chose to stop splitting her life into “then” and “now.” From there, we dig into practical, repeatable tools: the “right to pass” that gives kids control in hard conversations, simple scripts to request a do-over after conflict, and the surprising power of naming emotions in real time. We talk about how apologies change attachment, why vulnerability makes clinicians stronger, and what it means to become the adult you needed when you were young.

You’ll also hear the everyday habits that keep healing grounded: kickboxing to process stress, co-regulation with a therapy dog in training, and inner child check-ins that link current triggers to past needs. Stacy’s new book blends memoir with caregiver guidance and is available in print and audiobook to reduce barriers to support. Whether you’re a parent, educator, clinician, or survivor, you’ll leave with language you can use, boundaries you can hold, and hope that feels practical—not performative.

If this conversation helped you, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs encouragement today, and leave a quick review so more listeners can find stories that make them feel seen.

Connect with Stacy:

Instagram: @hoperestored

Facebook: Stacy Schaffer

Website: https://stacyschaffer.com/

Book: With Love from a Children's Therapist: #lessonsihavelearnedalongtheway

Author Website: https://authorstacyschaffer.com/

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