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A Pickled Egg Christmas

A Pickled Egg Christmas

Update: 2020-03-02
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  • Having nothing to plug.

  • Consuming all the media available because you're in high school and it's the 80s.

  • Not being sure if the media you're consuming, or about to consume, is worth your time.

  • Forgetting everything else as a prerequisite for getting anything done.

  • Humans figuring out what to do with their drive to make art once computers are better at making art.

  • Collectively choosing to limit the art you consume to create an artificial culture in your collective.

  • A fake band invented by the internet come alive.

  • Computers taking over art curation, too.

  • Making a statement in a specific context that can't be as easily transplanted into another context and that making you a luddite weirdo.

  • Cultivating a healthy creative space being super weird now, but will make more sense in the future when the creative.

  • Liking pickled eggs but not being able to find them in any local store.

  • The hypothetical fraughtness of purchasing pickled eggs online.

  • Buying a bunch of gross stuff and being disappointed.

  • Hating the pickled eggs you bulk-purchased and feeding them all to your dogs.

  • Pickled sausages -- a southern specialty.

  • Selling your pickled products at a discount because they're past their sell-by date.

  • Pickled Thai eggplant about the size of marbles.

  • Not being diligent enough to look up how to include Pickled Banana Blossoms in a prepared dish and just eating them like popcorn and being disappointed.

  • The entire egg pickling community thinking your egg pickling method is heretical.

  • Asking everybody in your family for pickled eggs for Christmas and throwing a pickled egg party to get rid of all your danged pickled eggs.

  • Consuming twenty pounds of pickled eggs on a Topic Lords live show.

  • Being really impressed by somebody's child-rearing technique.

  • The "blank slate" theory -- that children are born with no personality -- being total bullshit.

  • A sample size of three technically counting as a pattern.

  • Having a dialog with your children rather than just telling them what to do.

  • Growing up hating authority and how that informs parenting strategy.

  • Doing the bare minimum and getting great results because everyone else just sucks.

  • Parents who are basically still children themselves.

  • Not having any parenting books to read because you are the first person who has ever been a parent.

  • Doing everything being indistinguishable from doing nothing.

  • Not having any good way to choose between all the available child-rearing options.

  • Not knowing why you read a particular parenting book twenty years ago and also not being sure if it shaped your parenting strategy.

  • Making bad decisions because we're all human and we all make bad decisions.

  • Being well-equipped to adapt to a changing world.

  • Not making a lot of art because your penmanship is terrible and it would just be a blob of nothing.

  • Your parents forcing you to take guitar lessons because it would help you get into a good school and it actually getting you into a good school.

  • Kids rarely being good at anything.

  • The amazing child drummer who amazingly turns into a commensurately even more amazing adult drummer.

  • Noodling around with a keyboard as an adult being informed by a decade of rigorous piano lessons as a child.

  • Loving Mechwarrior and spending all of grade school drawing spaceships and giant robots.

  • Growing up a Scream Tracker kid.

  • Loading up a song you like into a tracker and digging deep into its technical details.

  • Explaining that this song is only four channels and 200 kilobytes and your mom remaining unimpressed.

  • An incredible technical feat that is entirely meaningless to anybody not embedded in its context.

  • Coming from a position of empathy and charity by default.

  • Two wooden reeds tied together like a duckbill creating a much smoother sound than a wooden reed resting against a hard surface.

  • Your band teacher not knowing enough about the bassoon to critique your bassoon playing and your next band teacher switching you to piano.

  • Trying to remember all the words you want to look up the etymology of next time you're at a computer.

  • Conjectural etymology that seems sensible but isn't actually backed up by evidence.

  • Reading ahead because you are bored in class, but that just meaning you'll be even more bored later.

  • Getting to 80th percentile of a skill or subject and then moving on to another skill or subject.

  • Accidentally hiring someone pretty good at both social work and IT work but it being ridiculous to try to hire someone like that on purpose.

  • The multivarious sub-skills required to run a UPS store.

  • Not recommending anybody follow your career path because your resume looks like you have some kind of personality disorder.

  • Nobody wanting to hire a generalist.

  • Just shipping at 90% done because most likely that's good enough.

  • Making the news one day but in a year a kid breaking your record.

  • Everybody being sad because they're not the best in the world and the best in the world being sad because they're not even better.

  • Getting really good at a skill and then computers taking your job anyway.

  • Enjoying learning for the intrinsic value of learning.

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A Pickled Egg Christmas

A Pickled Egg Christmas

Jim Stormdancer