A Steelers/Vikings Party Crash, Miami’s Vice, the Blackjack Browns, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal

Update: 2024-09-23

Digest

The podcast begins with the hosts introducing themselves and previewing the upcoming episode, which will include a recap of week three, guest appearances for week four, and plenty of jokes. Bill Simmons jokingly inducts himself into the Bill Simmons podcast's "Ring of Honor," drawing a parallel to Arthur Blank's self-induction into the Atlanta Falcons' Ring of Honor. The hosts then discuss the Falcons' loss to the Chiefs, highlighting the Falcons' poor game management and the Chiefs' ability to capitalize on short-yardage situations. Bill Simmons expresses his disappointment with the overall quality of NFL play in the first three weeks, comparing it to a disappointing Vegas trip with mechanical issues and weather delays. The hosts continue to discuss the Chiefs' continued dominance and the Falcons' coaching staff's struggles, highlighting the contrast between the two teams' performances. Bill Simmons argues that no team in the NFL appears to be a complete team, emphasizing the importance of having a strong quarterback and a well-rounded roster. The hosts discuss the fantasy football implications of the Chiefs' offense, particularly the uncertainty surrounding the availability of Isiah Pacheco and the performance of Carson Steele. The hosts debate whether they believe in the Steelers and Vikings as playoff contenders, acknowledging the Steelers' strong defense and the Vikings' well-coached team. The hosts discuss which playoff team from the previous season is in the most trouble this year, with the Miami Dolphins emerging as the clear frontrunner due to their quarterback situation. The hosts discuss the Cleveland Browns' struggles, particularly their offensive line issues and the underperformance of Deshaun Watson. The hosts discuss the Cowboys and Rams, both of whom are in danger of falling out of playoff contention due to their respective weaknesses. The hosts express concern about the Cowboys' defense, highlighting their inability to force incompletions and their vulnerability against teams with strong running games. The hosts discuss the Rams' improbable comeback win against the Niners, praising Matthew Stafford's performance and the team's ability to overcome adversity. The hosts highlight Sean McVay's coaching ability, emphasizing his ability to get the most out of his players despite injuries and other challenges. The hosts predict that the Raiders' upset win over the Ravens in week two will be the most surprising result of the season, highlighting the Ravens' inconsistency and the Raiders' ability to pull off upsets. The hosts engage in an exercise where they predict the seven playoff teams for each conference, highlighting their reasoning and areas of agreement and disagreement. The hosts continue their playoff predictions, focusing on the NFC and highlighting the competitive nature of the NFC West, where any of the four teams could potentially win the division. The hosts discuss the Green Bay Packers' potential for a turnaround, highlighting their strong defense and the return of Jordan Love. The hosts discuss the importance of running backs and offensive lines in the NFL, highlighting the Bears' struggles in both areas and the potential for a shift in their offensive philosophy. The hosts reiterate their belief that the NFC West will have three playoff teams, highlighting the strength of the division and the potential for surprise contenders. The hosts discuss the Giants' potential for a surprise run, highlighting the impact of Malik Willis and the team's ability to compete against the Cowboys. The hosts discuss Malik Willis's exciting potential, comparing him to Tyreek Hill and Calvin Johnson and highlighting his ability to make big plays. The hosts discuss the Lions' offensive inefficiency and the Cardinals' pick six that mysteriously disappeared, highlighting the inconsistencies of both teams. The hosts discuss Chris Myers's role as the "old guard" announcer, comparing him to other veteran announcers and highlighting his unique style. The hosts discuss Tom Brady's broadcasting style, comparing it to the "Tiny Elvis" sketch from SNL and highlighting his over-the-top reactions and lack of critical analysis. The hosts discuss Tom Brady's potential for growth as a broadcaster, acknowledging his strengths and weaknesses and suggesting that he may be better suited for a studio role. The hosts discuss Lamar Jackson's ability to perform well in high-pressure situations, referencing a text from Tony Hinchcliff about Jackson's "moments." The hosts discuss Lamar Jackson's performance in the fourth quarter, questioning why the Ravens struggle in the final minutes of games. They ponder what makes a team good for most of the game but falter at the end. The hosts critique Bellacheck's playcalling, specifically a pass to Zeke that was deemed too risky and resulted in an incomplete pass. They question his decision-making and whether he's taking enough risks. The hosts discuss the Eagles-Saints game, highlighting a crucial 60-yard play by Dallas Goddard that ultimately led to the Eagles' victory. They analyze the play and question the Saints' defensive strategy. The hosts speculate on potential coaching changes for the Eagles, particularly if they continue to struggle. They discuss the possibility of Seriani being fired if they lose their next game. The hosts argue for the ability to replace coaches during games, similar to how quarterbacks are substituted. They believe that coaches who are making poor decisions should be replaced to improve team performance. The hosts discuss Derek Carr's performance for the Saints, noting his struggles and comparing him to his previous seasons. They express concern about the Saints' offense and their ability to win games. The hosts discuss the inherent inconsistency of sports, highlighting how teams can perform well one week and poorly the next. They are surprised by the Saints' low score against the Eagles and question their offensive strategy. The hosts discuss Bryce Young's future with the Panthers, addressing rumors that he might be traded after the season. They debate whether Young is the right fit for the team and speculate on potential trade destinations. The hosts discuss Sam Darnold's MVP odds, finding it humorous that he's still in the running despite his past struggles. They also discuss the poor performance of the AFC South, questioning whether the division is truly competitive. The hosts criticize the Bears' coaching staff, particularly their offensive strategy. They believe the team is poorly coached and struggles to run an effective offense, especially considering their inability to block. The hosts discuss the concept of "dangling box" games, referring to games that are so unpredictable and entertaining that they become must-watch television. They compare it to the "opener" in baseball, where a reliever starts the game for a few innings. The hosts discuss the trend of six-point favorites losing against the spread, highlighting the risk involved in teaser betting. They share their personal experiences with teaser bets and their strategies for future bets. The hosts discuss a bizarre incident where fans waved Susie B Anthony flags during a game, potentially distracting the kicker and leading to a missed extra point. They find the incident humorous and question the players' reactions. The hosts engage in their weekly "Guest the Lines" segment, where they predict the point spreads for upcoming NFL games. They discuss their reasoning for each prediction and debate the accuracy of their previous week's picks. The hosts predict the outcome of the Saints-Falcons game, with one host favoring the Saints and the other favoring the Falcons. They discuss their reasoning and analyze the teams' strengths and weaknesses. The hosts criticize Raheem Morris's coaching decisions, particularly his questionable calls on third and fourth down. They highlight his poor time management and question his overall coaching ability. The hosts discuss their predictions for division winners and share their betting strategies. They debate the merits of betting on underdogs and discuss the importance of waiting for a few weeks before making bets. The hosts predict the outcome of the Eagles-Bucks game, with both hosts agreeing that the Eagles are favored. They discuss the potential impact of the previous playoff rematch and the teams' current momentum. The hosts predict the outcome of the Packers-Vikings game, with one host favoring the Packers and the other favoring the Vikings. They discuss the impact of Jordan Love's potential start for the Packers and the Vikings' recent performance. The hosts predict the outcome of the Jets-Broncos game, with one host favoring the Jets and the other favoring the Broncos. They discuss the Broncos' recent performance and the potential for a close game. The hosts predict the outcome of the Texans-Jaguars game, with one host favoring the Texans and the other favoring the Jaguars. They discuss the Jaguars' pass rush and the Texans' inability to block. The hosts predict the outcome of the Steelers-Indianapolis game, with one host favoring the Steelers and the other favoring the Colts. They discuss the potential for a close game and the Colts' struggles on offense. The hosts predict the outcome of the Bears-Rams game, with one host favoring the Bears and the other favoring the Rams. They discuss the Rams' recent luck and the Bears' offensive struggles. The hosts predict the outcome of the Bengals-Panthers game, with one host favoring the Bengals and the other favoring the Panthers. They discuss Andy Dalton's return to Cincinnati and the Bengals' offensive firepower. The hosts predict the outcome of the 49ers-Cardinals game, with both hosts agreeing that the 49ers are heavily favored. They discuss the Cardinals' struggles and the 49ers' offensive dominance. The hosts predict the outcome of the Cardinals-Washington game, with one host favoring the Cardinals and the other favoring the Commanders. They discuss the potential for a high-scoring game and the teams' offensive strengths. The hosts predict the outcome of the Raiders-Browns game, with one host favoring the Raiders and the other favoring the Browns. They discuss the Raiders' recent struggles and the Browns' potential for an upset. The hosts predict the outcome of the Ravens-Bills game, with one host favoring the Ravens and the other favoring the Bills. They discuss the unpredictable nature of the game and the potential for a close contest. The hosts predict the outcome of the Dolphins-Titans game, with one host favoring the Dolphins and the other favoring the Titans. They discuss the Titans' recent coaching change and the Dolphins' offensive struggles. The hosts predict the outcome of the Lions-Seahawks game, with one host favoring the Lions and the other favoring the Seahawks. They discuss the Seahawks' injuries and the Lions' offensive potential. The hosts discuss the importance of fantasy football trade etiquette, particularly for young players. They emphasize the need for fair and sensible trades, warning against being the "dickhead" who makes lopsided deals. The hosts discuss other "Don't Be That Guy" life lessons for 10-year-olds, including avoiding crushes on your friend's girlfriend and not leaving the strip club when it's light out. The hosts discuss Brad's unique fantasy football strategy, which involves drafting eight running backs. They find it humorous and question his decision-making, comparing his strategy to playing with a 57-card deck. The hosts revisit a historical parent corner segment from 10 years ago, where one host was suspended from ESPN for criticizing Roger Goodell's handling of the Ray Rice domestic violence incident. They discuss the controversy and the impact it had on their families. The hosts wrap up the podcast, discussing upcoming events like the Emmys and the premiere of "Mr. McMahon" on Netflix. They also mention the "Against All Odds" podcast network and the success of the "Parlay Kid" in baseball betting.

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