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Abby & Ryan Resist Change

Abby & Ryan Resist Change

Update: 2021-04-23
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“Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.”
- Tony Robbins (probably)

WHY DO WE RESIST CHANGE??

  • LOSS. There's a loss, which means pain. Even if there's a gain, it's unknown; the loss is always known. Known is more comfortable than unknown.
  • ANTICIPATION & PREDICTABILITY. A 2016 study showed that "knowing that there is a small chance of getting a painful electric shock can lead to significantly more stress than knowing that you will definitely be shocked." (https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2016/03/160329101037.htm)
  • CONTROL. Intentionally maintaining a painful circumstance gives a sense of control, whereas moving into the unknown is a loss of your sense of control. Feeling out of control is often more uncomfortable than the pain of the present moment.
  • ATTACHMENT TO OUTCOMES. A change threatens the possibility of arriving at a specific future you want to reach.


ANTIDOTES:

  • SURRENDER. Know what you can't control, and stop trying to control it.
  • PRESENCE. Get out of the past and future, and come back to now.
  • SELF ACCEPTANCE. Disengage from stories about how circumstances (preferable or painful, real or imaginary) affect your value or identity.


“We are often more threatened by the possibility of a relationship with others changing than the possibility of the relationship with ourselves staying the same.”
- Vienna Pharaon


THE CHANGE CYCLE:

  1. Dissolution - change happens, the status becomes not-quo, and suffering takes hold.
  2. Adjustment - you formulate a plan to adjust to the new thing.
  3. Integration - Your new plan becomes a new way of life.
  4. Maintenance - The new status becomes quo. I realize I'm using that phrase horribly.


*** Moving from 4 to 1 feels like three steps back, but it's really one step forward. It's the Change Cycle, not the Change Unidirectional Linear Progression ***

THE BECKARD-HARRIS CHANGE EQUATION: D x V + F > R

  • D = Dissatisfaction with the present circumstance
  • V = Vision for what the future could be
  • F = First Steps (putting on your shoes and getting to the running trail)
  • R = Resistance to change


GRATITUDES:

  • Ryan is grateful for his dad.
  • Abby is grateful for her clients who are really doing the work.


TIME CODES:
19:43 - The Change Cycle
31:32 - Alexander John Shaia - The four gospels and the cycle of change: https://amzn.to/3tYS1Gt
1:00:12 - The Beckard-Harris Change Equation

WHAT OUR TRIBE IS UP TO:


MORE DEETS:


🥪🌊🍀🦃🥧

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Abby & Ryan Resist Change

Abby & Ryan Resist Change

Abby & Ryan