Dear caregivers of kids who have been through really messy and hard stuff,

We are so grateful for you - the way you show up for the kids in your lives even when you feel lost with how to best support them, when their behaviours look so overwhelming, and when you start to wonder if things can get better. Relationship trauma takes a long time to heal from, and when a young, vulnerable child is in an environment that for whatever complex reasons can't be present for and responsive to their innate needs for security, it can feel like the resulting wounds might be too hard to repair. When you are in a parenting role with a child who is relearning how to trust their adults, their expressions of their trauma, fear and mistrust can feel insulting, personal, and unsafe for YOU. We know this and we understand.

We're here to get real about the impacts of attachment trauma but also to provide models of understanding about what we can do to give our futures their best chance. Humans are shockingly resilient. Let's stay open to surprises, particularly when parts of us are convinced there's no way through to healing.

Renae is a Registered Clinical Counsellor and parent (both biological and adoptive) and she uses the P.A.C.E approach - a model developed by Dr. Daniel Hughes which Renae refers to as a "game changer" both personally and professionally.  Today she'll walk us through what P.A.C.E. means, how and why it works, and she's even agreed to come back for a bonus episode in follow up to this conversation which will serve as a "lab" of sorts. I'll provide her with some situations and scenarios that come up with kids who have had relationship traumas in their past, and she'll demonstrate how the P.A.C.E. approach would sound like in response.

If you want to check out Renae's work, you can find her information HERE.
To read more about Dr. Daniel Hughes' approach, go to his website http://www.danielhughes.org/
And if you want to learn more about complex trauma and brain development, we'd encourage you to listen to our previous podcast episode {S8E6} with Dr. Chuck Geddes, which you can listen to HERE or wherever you listen to Parenting in the Trenches.

If ever there was a deep trench of mud, it's parenting kids who have a history of trauma. We want you to have support and resources to stay well and to help your child find healing. 

Holding steady with you,
Karen