Digest

This episode of Comedy Bang Bang features a diverse cast of characters, including a historian, a bear, and a Dutch traveler. Robert Carro, a historian specializing in mid-20th century American history, discusses his unique approach to historical writing, which involves embellishing the truth for a more engaging narrative. The bear, who is actually a real bear, shares his experiences in Hollywood, including his breakout role in "Cocaine Bear" and his current work as a flight attendant on hair transplant flights to Turkey. Simon, a traveler from the Netherlands, shares his experience of learning English through commercials and his desire to rewrite them for a global audience. He reveals that he has been working on rewriting commercial slogans to make them more understandable for international audiences, giving examples of his rewrites for Bounty, Gold Milk, and McDonald's. The conversation also touches on Simon's past crimes, his preference for watching only the first and last episodes of TV shows, and his observations about Dutch culture. The episode concludes with the guests plugging their projects, including Robert Carroll's upcoming book about Lyndon Baines Johnson, the bear's hope for a more prominent role in the third season of "The Bear," and Simon's search for a partner in Topanga Canyon.

Outlines

00:00:25

A Historian, a Bear, and a Traveler

This episode features a historian, a bear, and a Dutch traveler discussing their unique experiences, from historical writing to Hollywood stardom to commercial rewrites.

00:24:43

The Bear's Hollywood Adventures

The bear, who is actually a real bear, shares his experiences in Hollywood, including his breakout role in "Cocaine Bear" and his current work as a flight attendant on hair transplant flights to Turkey.

00:41:30

Commercial Slogans and International Audiences

The conversation shifts to the topic of commercials and how they can be confusing for international audiences. A traveler from the Netherlands, Simon, shares his experience of learning English through commercials and his desire to rewrite them for a global audience.

00:48:25

Simon's Commercial Rewrites

Simon reveals that he has been working on rewriting commercial slogans to make them more understandable for international audiences. He gives examples of his rewrites for Bounty, Gold Milk, and McDonald's, highlighting the humorous and sometimes absurd nature of his translations.

00:51:21

Simon's Past Crimes and Dutch Culture

Simon admits to having committed a crime in the Netherlands, which forced him to flee to America. He reveals that he robbed an orphanage, taking the money from the cash register and all the "cute kids." He offers to give some of the kids to Scott and the bear, suggesting that the less cute ones can be eaten. He also shares his observations about Dutch culture, including their defensive nature and the prevalence of sex in windows.

00:58:56

Amsterdam vs. New York and Sephora

Simon discusses the city of Amsterdam, comparing it to New York and highlighting the Dutch tendency to do things twice. He expresses his belief that Sephora is the gateway to hell and that it holds magical powers.

01:02:39

Build-A-Bear, Bill Burr, and the Algorithm

Simon discusses his church, which is located at Build-A-Bear. He believes that the store is not building false idols, as each person has their own individual God. He shares his love for Bill Burr and his Bill Burr Builder Bear, which always tells him the news. He expresses concern about the potential for an algorithm in Builder Bear, suggesting that there might be a dork wearing a sweater with a bear head underneath his head.

01:04:57

Plugging Projects

The podcast transitions to the "plugs" segment, where the guests promote their projects. Robert Carroll plugs his upcoming book about Lyndon Baines Johnson, titled "The Years of Lyndon Johnson, The Night Blade Protocol." He describes the book as having many steps and twists, and promises that it will be 1200 pages long. The bear plugs the show "The Bear," highlighting his limited appearances in the first two seasons and his hope for a more prominent role in the third season. He expresses his desire to be friends with Jeremy Allen White, who is now starring in a movie about Bruce Springsteen. Simon promotes CBB World and his desire for a trash can without a bear on it. He also mentions his search for a partner in Topanga Canyon who must have been on "Dancing with the Stars" and have an affinity for Dutch culture. Scott Aukerman plugs the Comedy Bang Bang tour, highlighting upcoming shows in St. Paul, Sacramento, Oakland, Portland, Seattle, Vancouver, and the UK and Ireland. He also mentions the release of the second series of Comedy Bang Bang action figures, which are available for pre-order.

Keywords

Q&A

• What is Robert Carro's unique approach to historical writing?

  Robert Carro believes that history can be more engaging and entertaining by embellishing the truth and incorporating fictional elements into his narratives.

• What is the bear's experience with the TV show "The Bear"?

  The bear was initially cast as a line cook in "The Bear" but was ultimately cut out of the show. He expresses his disappointment at this outcome and shares his perspective on the show's plot and characters.

• What is the bear's current occupation?

  The bear is currently working as a flight attendant on flights to Turkey for men seeking hair transplant procedures. He describes the experience as a unique and lucrative opportunity.

• What is Simon's experience with learning English through commercials?

  Simon learned English by listening to commercials, which he found to be a unique and effective method. He believes that commercials are not always understandable for international audiences and wants to rewrite them for a global audience.

• What is Simon's opinion on Sephora?

  Simon believes that Sephora is the gateway to hell and that it holds magical powers. He avoids the store because of his religious beliefs.

• What is Robert Carroll's upcoming book about?

  Robert Carroll's upcoming book is about Lyndon Baines Johnson and is titled "The Years of Lyndon Johnson, The Night Blade Protocol." He describes the book as having many steps and twists and promises that it will be 1200 pages long.

• What is the bear's experience with the show "The Bear"?

  The bear has had limited appearances in the first two seasons of "The Bear" and hopes for a more prominent role in the third season. He expresses his desire to be friends with Jeremy Allen White, who is now starring in a movie about Bruce Springsteen.

• What is Simon's search for a partner in Topanga Canyon?

  Simon is looking for a partner in Topanga Canyon who must have been on "Dancing with the Stars" and have an affinity for Dutch culture. He has specific requirements for his ideal partner.

Show Notes