Today we’re answering listener questions about how to handle the pain of a spouse’s porn use. 

Unfortunately, this is a pretty common issue we hear about from couples, but the good news is that you CAN heal and move forward. So today we’re answering listener questions about healing and recovery from pornography in marriage. We’ll talk about the process for forgiveness, what to do if you just cannot forgive and move on, how to rebuild trust, and practical strategies to combat intrusive thoughts. 

Listen for practical ways to heal and recover your heart and your marriage. We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage. 

Episode highlights include: 

• How to forgive and move forward when it feels impossible 

• Changing your view if you can’t separate your spouse from the hurtful behavior 

• The balance of feeling safe and willingness to be vulnerable 

• Boundary setting to allow for healing

• Getting out of the comparison trap and starting to feel beautiful and desirable again 

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here! 

Couples Conversation Guide: 

Main takeaway:  When your marriage is recovering from porn use, repentance is the first step. Forgiveness allows you to heal, and boundaries help facilitate marriage healing. You can rebuild your marriage even better than before. 

Questions to Discuss: 

1. What does your spouse do that helps you trust them?

2. Are there any areas where you need to build or repair trust with your spouse? 

3. What can you do together to help that process? 

QUOTES 

• “Until you forgive, you’re still giving a lot of power to what happened.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling 

• “One of the best prayers is asking God to help you see your spouse through His eyes.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling 

• “We want assurance that nothing will ever hurt us again, but that’s not possible.” Lindsay Few  

• “Look for Jesus in your spouse. When you see that, things are probably going to be pretty good.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling 

• This is not a hurdle to get through: this is a lifestyle change.   - Dr. Kim Kimberling

• There’s nothing wrong with being accountable, not because you ‘have to,’ but because you love your spouse.   - Dr. Kim Kimberling

• “You’ve got to be completely open and transparent with each other. You can’t have trust without that.”   - Dr. Kim Kimberling

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:  

• Sign up for the Free 5 Steps to Healing After Porn Betrayal to learn the steps you need to take to live a marriage undefiled and experience closeness and intimacy again

• Past podcast episodes on healing your marriage after porn: 

• How to Regain Trust With Your Spouse After Porn | Ep. 561

• How to Rebuild Intimacy With Your Spouse After Porn | Ep. 562

Has your marriage been damaged by the effects of porn? Not sure what’s next? Download the 8 Steps To Heal Your Marriage After Porn to learn your next steps to healing.